Friday, November 20, 2009

♫ Fighting Bitterness

Bitter (adj.)
1. Having or being a taste that is sharp, acrid, and unpleasant.
2. Causing a sharply unpleasant, painful, or stinging sensation; harsh
3. Difficult or distasteful to accept, admit, or bear
4. Proceeding from or exhibiting strong animosity
5. Resulting from or expressive of severe grief, anguish, or disappointment:
6. Marked by resentment or cynicism

Even saying the word feels ugly. It’s an ugly word. It’s hard to taste too. Like…when you take a bite of a crab apple for the first time. No matter how many times you try to rinse that taste out of your mouth, it lingers. And even thinking back on that experience makes you quick-shiver I bet. Or green rhubarb. Or lemons. Or tomatoes , that’s right, I’m going to jab tomatoes every chance I get.

Apparently, things in life are the same way. A bitter life experience, which according the definition above, is one that leaves you with an unpleasant taste about life, a painful experience, or is difficult to accept or admit. One that leaves you feeling unfulfilled, and can often times lead to resentment toward either the experience, or the person that cued the feeling. And it’s hard.

Examples of bitterness.

These examples come from my own experience, and those around me, to keep it fair.

-Single Mammas. When you’re a single mom, life is hard. Even the ones that are the most positive, find a low point…and generally, to make themselves feel better, point fingers at whoever put them in that low position.

-Divorcees, or those that had a stable relationship, and is now very unstable or completely gone. There is no worse feeling than abandonment. Even if you’re the person that chose to leave, you still feel very much alone.

-Those that give full effort in making somebody happy, make them feel special, or pull them out of a tough spot, and get little or nothing in return. Even a quiet “thank you” would be enough.

-Those that are financially insecure or burdened, due to matters out of their own hands. The world has left us really bitter, making money a necessary evil, and something sought after and fought after…I blame you, Devil. Go to hell.

-Religion. When people feel pressured, persecuted, cast out, condemned, or judged by any form of religion, those in leadership in a religious place, or those that feel the need to condemn and use religion as a punishment, they get bitter

Get over it. Self, I’m talking to you too.

Everybody has some level of bitterness in them over something. How do we let it go? How do we get past it?

-Pray. You’ll hear me say it a lot, prayer works. Whether you choose to pray to God, some form of higher up, the palm of your hands, your family, a statue, or just to yourself in a form of meditation, I believe prayer works. I personally believe it’s the God behind the prayer that makes it work, but I also believe that a state of meditation gets all the bad juice out of your system. It calms your nerves, and if done right, helps it leave your soul entirely.

-Talk it out. Find your support system, a good support system, and get advice and help. Do not choose the girl that has a big mouth, the drama king or queen, or the negative friend, or the Frenemy (something we’ll address in a soon-to-come blog about women feeling the need to stay friends with not-so-friendly-friends). Find the positive one, the one that encourages you to find the good in the worst situation. The one that forces you to see reality for what it is, and help you find a solution to deal with it.

-Eat. Whoever coined the term comfort food, bless you. Eat some of your mamma’s soup, and tell me you don’t feel it all wash away.

-Exercise. Something about kicking that treadmills ass, really does work.

-Forgive. We’ve written a ton of blogs over the last year on forgiveness, or ways to get past negativity. Please use the fancy search bar at the bottom of your page to find them and read them. Two of my personal favorites: Negativity is the Easy Way Out and Forgive and Forget

-Love. Even in bitterness, you can love the person for what and who they are.

Quote of the day:

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them.

Take that one how you want to.

Yours Truly,

PS. Photo courtesy of My Lemon Face. Seriously, if you need something to do to waste the rest of your Friday, browse through these pictures and laugh your faces off. Maybe all bitterness will go away. ;)


Danielle said...

Best lemon face of them all?
So i took your advice on wasting some more of my Friday work day :)

good blog, sista! One that everyone struggles with, i would say.

Lover of your BLOG! said...

Great blog and so true....

I personally do NOT like being bitter. I try to just let it go, roll off my back, etc. But if I can't get rid of the bitterness, then I will use you advice(s) above. And my favorite advice? The one about 'talking it out' (with a non drama friend) is the best. I only have two friends like that and I've leaned on them bunches.

Once again, great blog Nomz!

Search the Daily Offensive!