♫ I'll admit it, I'm somtimes a control freak

I gripe a lot about my life. Not always to other people, just in my head. Especially in the shower. Which turns in to griping about other people a lot. In my head again, mostly.

I'm not unhappy, just to clarify. There are just times that certain people really close to me, or close to the girls, or in my family...do things differently than I would have done them. Or treated somebody in a way that I find hurtful or wrong. And it creates inner turmoil. I'm finding that I don't handle conflict very well. And instead of solving it, will fight it out in my head and judge others for the way they are handling the conflict.

And then...then I read my Facebook or check in with my friends, and find out that somebody's grandma passed away. Or that somebody lost their dog. Or that somebody else is fighting cancer and losing the battle. Or has a son or daughter with a disability. And I realize that no matter how much the people close to me are causing turmoil, I've got a whole lot to be thankful for that they can't ever take away.

I realize that just because in my head in the shower I have a solution to every problem brought to me, that I can't fix every problem that is going on around me.

Turmoil hurts. I want to shake the people that hurt their closest friends or family members silly until they realize that a simple phone call or dinner date with them could fix everything. But I can't. It's not my place in the world to fix everybody else. I can only work on me.

The fact that there is turmoil and chaos will never ever change how much you care and love that person. You might grow apart, things might change, but you can always love them. Pray for them. Wish them well. Oddly enough, it was noted by several friends this week that you should never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It's always possible it's the last chance you'll see them.

"How you treat people is your karma, how you react is yours." You can only control and change and better yourself. Stop worrying about what everybody else is thinking and doing. Even in the shower.

Yours Truly,
Nomz