♫ How to make yourself UNhappy

It’s all too easy to talk about happiness, how to obtain it. How to be peaceful from the inside out. It’s harder to talk openly about what makes a person unhappy. It’s hard, sometimes, to even admit that you’re unhappy in order to move on to happy. What I’m hoping with this blog, mostly, is for people to realize when they’re in that place, and how to change one thing at a time to make those feelings go away.

So, below is a list. A list of things that make people UNhappy. Feel free to print the list out, check off the ones that you are, and find a way to reverse it.

*Be completely and totally wrapped up in a guy.

Who needs self worth and independence, right? It might feel like complete bliss…until you hit a point where you fully understand what alone feels like.

*Eat very unhealthily

If it tastes good, eat it. It will have little effect on you…aside from poor health, dry skin, wrinkled skin, faster aging process, breaking down from the inside out. Of course, you don’t have to eat healthy all the time, but eating out for every meal, not watching what you eat, what time you eat, how many snacks you consume, or how much alcohol you intake, has serious long term affects that any surgery, pill, or program will never be able to reverse.

*Talk about everybody else, a lot

It’s completely unavoidable to talk about other people. Gossip is in our nature, especially if we’re female. But if the only two things you are able to bring up in conversation is the weather, or another person…you’re forever going to live in jealousy and negativity. For every negative thing you notice in somebody else’s life, try to find one positive. I mean at least that girl you can’t stand has adorable hair, right?

*Pretend like everything is ok, all the time

Pretend your entire life has windows. Now pretend that your windows are open all the time. What would they see? Would they see what you’re portraying your Facebook and Twitter account? Or would they hardly recognize you? Of course, life comes with blinds that you can pull down every now and then to protect what’s yours, but putting on a false image to make yourself feel better is a much different thing than privacy.

*Surround yourself by negative people

Talk constantly about what you don’t have, how terrible it is that you’re stuck in the same grind every single day, and that nobody ever notices how much you’re accomplishing. Or…surround yourself by people that challenge you to try harder, to make some changes, and encourage you on days that you’re down. Having friends that agree with your misery really aren’t friends at all. They’re just throwing mud in to your already deep enough hole.

*Ignore the little things, they don’t really matter anyway

Little things are just that, right? They’re so small that they don’t add up to the weight on your shoulders or even come close to lessening it. Then again, maybe the little things are there to get us through the hard times. They might be the pebbles we have to step on in order to cross the mountain in front of us.

Confession: I’m an optimistic person. But once I get on a rant and a roll, it’s hard to sway me otherwise. I let things get under my skin, and then I whine profusely about them until I feel better. Which usually outlasts my toddlers' tantrums. I’m working on finding a way around dwelling on things, around being moody, and around throwing tantrums internally. The above, are all things I’ve personally dealt with, and found a way to turn around.

Please feel free to use our anonymous comment ability to tell us your short-comings, how we can pray for you, or what challenges you’re facing lately. Life isn’t easy, but you don’t have to make it harder.

Yours Truly,
Nomz

♫ A little diddy on Optimism and Happiness

*Blooming...no matter how rocky the ground.

There is a huge debate, often, on if the optimist has a twisted view on reality, that the pessimists are the realists of the world.

I personally think finding the silver lining when things seem difficult, is healthy. That finding the good among that bad, sets me out above the rest.

I also believe God was an optimist. I mean hi, why else did he create rose bushes? You've got to get past the thorns to appreciate the rose. You've got to be determined to bloom, no matter how rocky the ground. Nature is even optimistic. Humans are seriously behind.

A small twist on the way I usually write. I'm posting quotes below, and then giving you my thoughts on the logic behind them. Please don't assume I'm talking about your personal situation. If it strikes a nerve, or if it seems like it is something you're going through...maybe take the time to self reflect, rather than getting defensive.

A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties. ~Harry Truman

...the real tragedy, is when we move on from a difficult time and failing to remember the lesson...

When you're faced with the same difficulty over and over and over again, make it an opportunity. Financial problems? Unfaithfulness? The same fight with somebody you care for over and over and over again? If you don't grow every single time you struggle with something, you're failing to learn the lesson. You're being pessimistic, and assuming it's somebody else's fault. The only person's life that you can really change, is your own.

Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha. ~Robert Brault

Take dance lessons with your partner. You'll learn more about give and take in those lessons, than you'll learn in your whole relationship.

Sometimes, life sets you back so that you can learn how to move forward.

In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. ~Daniel L. Reardon

Can I get an AMEN?! I'm not trying to say in this blog that optimists are always right. I AM saying that life is much more pleasurable if you can find something to keep it interesting and good. I don't care if you have to pretend you've got a real Edward Cullen in your back pocket enjoying the trip with you all the time. Having a good imagination and finding happiness in the littlest things will improve your entire outlook, regardless of your final destination.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore

Notice how when you've got a good friend, or adorable kids, or fantastic pets...no matter what mood you're in, you can find something to smile about? It's so easy to forget about the little things that you have to be grateful for, when you're down in the dumps.

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. ~H. Jackson Browne

Don't judge.
"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself." Real happiness won't come from you looking at another person's path. Find yourself. Be your own person. Don't imitate.


Happiness and sadness run parallel to each other. When one takes a rest, the other one tends to take up the slack. ~Hazelmarie Elliott

This one speaks volumes. It's ok to be sad...just don't assume you're going to be sad forever.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. ~Frederick Keonig

You've got to appreciate what you've got, rather than looking at what you don't. The grass is always going to be greener on the other side. Somebody always has a better husband. More money. More friends. More wisdom. More vehicles. Better hair. A prettier smile. Whatever it is...the more envy you have for everyone else, the less you're going to find self worth.

It's been proven that the quickest way to improve your relationships, and your own personal happiness and health...is to get in shape. Being healthy, eating right, regular exercise, meditation, and time spent alone are all natural anti-depressants. Love what you've got, and you'll appreciate what comes to you even more.

In order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness - otherwise how would you know when you're happy? ~Leslie Caron

At least when you feel like you're at the very bottom, when you feel like you can't take any more...the only way out of it is up. Being unhappy occasionally, helps you appreciate when things are good. ..."I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they are right. Good things fall apart, so better things can fall together."

Some pursue happiness, others create it. ~Author Unknown

Don't wait for somebody else to make you happy. Don't get angry when they don't try to do everything they can to make you happy. Create your own.

Yours Truly,
Nomz