Wednesday, September 30, 2009

**Why I'm an Airhead

For those of you who know me or don't know me. I think it's time to share why I'm such an airhead.

It was a cool evening on September 27th I believe. A group of us where headed on our adventure in bowling. I rode in a lifted explorer behind the driver, his girlfriend in the passenger seat and my ex next to me. This truck was well beyond the legal limit for the lift kit and of course the driver built out the tires on the truck as well. I did have my bowling ball with me in the truck it was placed nicely underneath my ex boyfriends legs. So off we went to meet our group at the alley. So we come to a stop light. It turns red so we stop and we wait to turn right. When our light turns green the driver proceeds to go through the intersection and out of nowhere a mpv van comes screaming at us. Our driver cranks the wheel to just barley miss the T-bone accident only to create one probably worse. As we where flipping on to the right side our Driver is flipping the bird at the car that ran the stop light. It was almost like slow motion. I could hear nothing at all. I don't remember every part. So I wake up and I'm like oh owie my head my ribs. I look down and there was my stupid bowling ball on my ribs. It also knocked me in the head. I was in shock by this moment. I start screaming Oh my God is everyone okay? I could see some blood oh the drivers girlfriend. It still seemed like there was no noise. Then they all started talking at once saying they where okay. I could hear my friend from the group trying to kick out the back glass so we could get out. He thought we where going to blow up because there was gas everywhere. The truck was on it's left side still and we just climbed through the passenger side door. I remember sitting on the cold sidewalk looking at what could have really been something awful. I was lucky to be this alert for that stupid bowling ball smacking me in the head. I felt a little shaken up then I started really wigging out. I couldn't stop my body from shaking. The paramedic told me to come with them because they said they need to check me out. They strapped me down to a table with duck tape. The drivers girlfriend was also there strapped to a table. The paramedics where talking to me I'm guessing to keep me awake. I felt so tired all I wanted to do was sleep. We finally get to the ER. I had to pee so bad by this point, I mean I can't believe my bladder didn't explode on contact. I pleaded for the doctor please let me go pee I'm gonna blow up. So the doc finally checked my bones to make sure I could go to the bathroom. Oh the relief was wonderful. I come back to the ER room the driver's girlfriend was getting her arm put back together. They said it was okay for me to go home but I had to wake up every four hours.

So I go to the doctor the next day. I had a awful headache, and my ribs where very sore. So he took some X-rays and ordered a MRI done. The results showed I had a cracked rib on my left side. But, my MRI showed nothing. This was just the beginning of my migraines. Not only that I couldn't connect my sentences for what I was trying to spit out of my mouth. I had something very wrong with me and these doctors felt I was making it up. One doctor even gave me sugar pills for my headaches. To make a long story short I've never had any luck with my migraines. I do have a annoying headache everyday and every couple of weeks I have about a week of nonstop migraines. All State wouldn't pay for some of my neurological until a year later when my coverage ran out how great for them. I thought insurance was suppose to protect you when you get hurt yea right. I have never received the proper care for my brain injury. I as a person am very different than the way I use to be. I was so up beat ready for life, alive. Now I battle to stay in a good mood through my hurting. It's hard to be happy when all you feel is pain in your brain. I hope this will shed a little bit of light on why I seem a little off course sometimes. It's a battle I will probably have to live with the rest of my life.


**Ghost Bloggers, be our Guest!

Hello fellow writers! Prepare yourself for a few guest blogs today!

Just for your information-If anyone is interested to write anonymously, or named, on the blog, please let us know by contacting us at Everything sent will be posted as written, unless it goes completely against our morals or core values. We did name it “Daily Offensive” for a reason, and thus, the title defends the blog! Feel free to vent, story tell, etc., in a safe anonymous fashion that will allow you to get it out, and let everyone enjoy your skillz, while being protected under the title, as well as an anonymous name!

If you have any questions, please let us know! We look forward to playing with you!

Nomz and Sazaran

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

♫ Cowgirl does not equal Farmer.

A Guy with Tractor

I have one of those. Not a tractor, but one with a tractor. Several actually.

I rarely blog about us. Mostly because for the first time in my life, I decided that I would do things right from the very beginning and 1)take my time and 2)keep it private. I plan on continuing to do so. BUT, for the sake of happy blogs, and to keep those interested in my sappy private life happy, I want to tell you a story.

I know very little about tractors, farming, semi’s, corn, wheat, etc., etc.. So little, that I frustrate the heck out of him pretty often. Luckily though, he is a genius at all of the above, and happens to also be a grand teacher. Last weekend, he even taught my four year old how to drive a bailer (the tractor that pulls the thing that bails hay/straw/sudex/etc.. Ok, well she doesn’t drive it necessarily, but she’s a great lap-sitter and steer-er. I’ve officially, after a long summer, spent hours in several tractors. We learned pretty quickly which ones I fit in and which ones I didn’t. We realized that when things get heated, that no matter how large the tractor, the cab suddenly shrinks. On the bright side though, when you’re in the middle of a field, the chances of you bailing on a tough conversation are not good-so we had some heart to hearts that I’ve avoided in almost every relationship.

He’s the most responsible guy I know. I mean how many twenty some-things do you know that have a plan for the rest of their life? Not only what they want to do, but how they are going to get there, what they have to work with, and already found a balance to work and play? I bet you know very few.

So, just to throw a fun spin on a mushy blog…things I’ve learned from tractor riding:

~The cab can shrink and grow, depending on how awkward the conversation, the position in which you’re sitting, and the longevity of the both the field-and the ride
~Some things are worth slowing down for.
~Sunsets and sunrises are even prettier when accompanied by the smell of dirt or hay, or good company.
~Cowgirl and Farmer are nowhere near the same thing.
~Bailing hay at 3am is not for sissies.
~Every tractor comes with a radio, and a seat. Rarely does it come with two of either.
~Some tractors have a ledge on one side so you can check out certain parts of the tractor that you wouldn’t be able to reach from the ground. This ledge, is not called a porch, and I am not allowed to put a lawn chair or an umbrella on it. Ever.
~I thought fresh hay would smell the same as a freshly opened bail. I was wrong. It smells better.
~Thanks to my sister, I now know that a pivot is not only usually a form of sprinkler, but there are several kinds that move in several different directions. Also, don’t stand under them, apparently the water is not typically fresh. It’s like the leftover water from….something else.
~Livestock, sadly, is optional in farming. Horses may eventually be a battle.
~Tractor Tires make for excellent seats for toddlers when the tractor is in halt position, they are also a great scene for a country bumkin picture. See?

~Not all tractors are green. They don’t always even look like tractors. Sometimes, they look like this:

~I have a lot to learn about life. And tractors. And farmers.

Yours Truly,

**And then I walked away

We had another argument today. Surprise, surprise. This time, he said "I don't think you love me anymore." I responded with "I don't think you love me anymore". And then I walked away. Sometimes, I wish I could just walk away from this. From my life I have right now. Would I miss it? I would miss my children. I would not miss him.

Why are men such assholes?! Why is it that they feel the need to overpower and dominate?! When a man has a woman's heart, doesn't he know he can break it with the slight of finger twitches? Doesn't he know that he can get her to do anything he wants just by treating her like....... not even like a queen. Just a woman. Men wonder why women all over the world pine for a lust after fictional characters like Edward Cullen and Fabio. It's because they know how to treat a woman! Fictional or not, it's what we need, what makes us tick.

Love, gentleness, selflessness, and yes, chivalry.

When I entertain the idea of leaving him, of starting over with the hopes of finding someone who will love me, cherish me...... I panic. What if no man is truly like that? What if I spoiled my one chance? Did I spoil him? Did it start out right and through some fault of my own, I ruined our marriage?

How do I stay with someone who treats me as if he is better than me. And I am just some object that he has to pay for, like a cell phone, with no other obligations whatsoever.


I'm not Josie Grossie anymore!

And here's the million dollar question: If you could go back and re-do high school, would you?

My answer would be "Yes, dear Lord, Yes!" on one condition, though. I would be able to take what I've learned about myself and the world with me.

I've been taking an inventory of the things that have changed in the past (gulp) seven years, especially in the last year or so. I wish I could go back and learn it a bit earlier!

*I never thought I was pretty. Not really ugly, but not pretty. How can you feel pretty when you're surrounded by (older) girls who've grown their boobies, straightened their teeth and have about five inches on all the other girls. Really, in junior high and high school, it's impossible. The ironic thing is this: child bearing destroyed the vain parts of my body but I appreciate it more. Maybe it's seeing the amazing transformation it went through that has me in awe. I still have those flaws, those insecurities but they're muted now. I hold onto these little idiosyncrasies as a reminder that there is no one like me, on the face of the planet. Will someone please tell that to a high school girl?!

*I remember, going to a party (I never drank, just absorbed the social atmosphere like a dried out sponge) and, in the midst of beer pong and horny couples, I talked about the love of Christ. What was I thinking? I don't mean to say that I wouldn't do that. But, how much more confusing can you get? Maybe I could have chosen a better time to witness. Or maybe not, Jesus did eat with the tax collectors.

*I can't say that I would be any more popular than I was *cough* wasn't. I'd probably be even less liked because I would be more vocal (kinda like.... now?). I've learned so much about the world and myself. Don't you just wish you could return- not for the entire four years- just for a few occasions where you knew that a crossroads was before you? Where you should have gone left but went right? Maybe it wasn't even a paramount moment, but something that left a lasting impression. I would stand up for myself. A lot. I never did that.

*I think, maybe, I wouldn't keep things so bottled up. Not letting out your emotions wreaks havoc. I'd find someone who I could trust and (forewarn them, first) just spill....

Let me know, would you go back? Why? Or why not?

Monday, September 28, 2009

♫ Peace Beyond the Noise

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of those things…..and still be calm in your heart. unknown

You know, my Reese gave me a magnet that says that. It sits on my desk, in front of my face, and there are still days that I forget it.

I was going to write this big ol’ blog out today about being a single mom, and all that entails…but my heart’s just not there today. It’s coming though, I promise. There are some things I want to say to my single mamma girls, and it will be said this week, I promise. Today though, I just felt the need to address something else. I don’t know if it’s because I need to tell it to myself, or because someone else out there needs to hear it, but here goes.

Everything in your life, is noise. Sometimes in the literal sense, noise is the traffic outside your window. The co-worker on the telephone near you. The infant or toddler screaming at you. Your phone ringing off the hook. The Facebook updates that shake your nerves. Sometimes, it’s not literal. Sometimes, it’s the noise in your head that nobody can hear. It’s things that you cant get out of your mind, but don’t want to admit or say.

Trouble, is the same way. It can be so literal…you know, family drama. Friend drama. Your drama. Trouble at work or school. Or, just something that keeps you awake at night. Makes you toss and turn. Affects your dreams. Keeps you from relaxing, even in the hottest, steamiest, quietest shower.

Hard work can be everything from actual work, to desk work. Yard work, to laundry. Or, just the fact that you have to work hard to get out of bed every day, or prepare meals, or just to put a smile on. Hard work can generally be defined as: meeting the demands of others.

It’s up to you, and you alone, to find the strength to find peace inside, regardless of all the noise, trouble, and hard work in your life.

How I {personally} find my peace:

Use my most inspiring, uplifting friends as ventilations systems, and they love me anyway.
Take pictures. For some reason, it’s de-stressing.
Clean. duh
Jam out. Something about the following recipe does it for me, fast: Lyrics+Music+Dancing=inner bliss.
Drive. Regardless of season, a back road does it for me.
NOT reading. For some reason, I get so frustrated with the characters in the books when I’m not happy on the inside.
Pray. I’m not always the church-goer, but God and I have never stopped talking about life.
Look around at the season around me, and find something I love about it. Right now, Autumn smells amazing, and the trees are telling big stories

It seems when we are stressed out, that our inside thoughts make our outside world exponentially more stressful, overbearing, and irritating. It exaggerates reality. Before you assume the world is against you, find a way to breathe deep.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~Emerson

Regardless of how the day ends, or how horrible you sleep, leave it alllllll behind and move on. Life can only drag you down as low as you let it.

Yours Truly,

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I feel stabby. Just kidding.

This is going to be one of those blogs where I just have to write whatever comes to mind- hopefully forcing out some sparkly inspiration. Or funny thoughts.

*A FB status, I recently posted, that I feel the need to re-post here: They must let the crazy lady out for her nightly smoke. At our last meeting, she muttered something that sounded like a cross between Elfin and a mathematical equation. Note to self: change.walking.time.

*Ever get one of those "sores" on the tip of your tongue- usually from eating something citrus-y or sour? Anyone know where they come from or what they're called? I happen to have not one, not two but FIVE on mine. I think I'm allergic to the new toothpaste I bought. This doesn't qualify as TMI, does it?! :)

*It's apparent you're a parent when:

-----> Four of the five DVD slots that could house thriller, romance or comedy instead have, on a consistent basis, Baby Einstein, Signing Time and Baby Pro.

-----> You hear a scream and immediately try to discern if it's your kid's scream or not. Your kid could even be sitting on your lap and you'll find yourself making sure he's okay.

-----> Stains don't bother you anymore. In fact, they're quite the accessory.

-----> You refer to your mate as "mommy" or "daddy" rather than "babe".

-----> You look for friends with kids. Rather than friends with cars.

*My summer was filled with a (nearly) daily dose of sweet tea from McDonalds. I ♥ sweet tea and it was only a buck. Now, that promo is over and I have to pay almost two. But, I go to Washington and they still get to pay the former. The hell, McD's?!

*What little faith I had in mankind was shattered and then somewhat rebuilt during my trip to and from Seattle. I was able to take Mal's car seat onto the plane with me. See, I have this little demon that follows me around and gets my luggage lost. I can't afford to lose a car seat. Since I had to carry a car seat, my luggage, my carry on, Malachi and a stroller, I went to customer service and asked if I could have assistance. "Sure," they said. "We'll put you in our system." The time to board comes and I'm called to the desk with my items. To my chagrin, Assistance flat out tells me "You're going to have to carry that yourself." wtf? My somewhat impatient response was, "The whole point in asking for you was so that I wouldn't have to carry these things. Because, obviously" *points to Malachi* "I can't." She stares at me. Finally, a passenger offers to help. From that point on, I had to seek out help from the airline employees but three other passengers offered to help in anyway.

*I just realized this is our 200th post! Yay for Daily Offensive!

*If no one has read The Bloggess' blog about the magical boobie mushroom. I suggest you do.

*Whilst in Washington (I just might go on an on about this visit. It was epic.) Malachi learned a little bit of sign language! Everytime he wants something, I make him sign please (you rub your hand in a circle over your chest)- it has cut back on whining! Check out: Signing Time.

*Here are a couple pictures I took while in said epic state:

Baby Musician
Auntie Jenn & Mal

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Text Wars

This is John. I love my John. You couldn't ask for a better, funnier, cooler brother. Every once in a while, my brother and I get into a hilarious text war. Okay, well, it's usually hilarious to me. Here, I'll show you (pssst, don't be offended):

Me: I'm in Washington, visiting the Brooks.

John: Oh nice. Washington is gay. haha

Me: No. It's full of awesomeness. I want to move here.

John: Um if awesomeness means gayness, then yeah.......... I'm going to move to Mexico.

Me: Mexico is full of gayness. Just so you know.

John: No, it's full of Mexican beauty and awesome Mexican jumpin' beans but not the kind that jump over the border..... the vegetable kind.

Me: You might get infected with gay beanness. Just so you know.

John: Yeah, you might get infected with gayness fag rain and that would be worse cuz rain covers your whole body, so you would have no chance.

Me: No cause I have a cool poncho that protects me from that stuff. But its not a gay Mexican poncho that comes from your crappy new home.

John: Yeah well I have a power that makes me heal like Claire Bennett, so I don't need a nice Mexican poncho.

Me: Um hello gayness doesn't wound like a broken bone. It gets into your brain and makes you a loser. But ur already a loser so it won't be any different 4 u.

John: Yeah so I'm immune and my powers are strong enough to fight off the gayness.

Me: No it doesn't work like that. U get it worse than anyone else cause Mexico is your kryptonite. Haha you picked the worse country to go to.

John: No its my secret lair. Yeah cuz I'm so badass I need a whole country for a secret lair.

Me: You mean cause your ass is so huge from the way the gayness affected your pancreas. Poor kid. We'll be makin fat jokes about you forever.

John: No I mean the way I'm so awesome a whole country worships me and my ass isn't fat. Its cute and bubbly.

Me: What are you, a girl?! That is proof that the gayness is taking over your dna. I'll miss you John, I mean Joan.

John: You're actin like an ass right now and that means you're actin like a guy.... a gay guy, get out of Washington before its too late Steve!

Me: Well if I'm a guy that means I'll never admit that I'm wrong and I'll be a jerk until u admit ur ass is huge and u want me to love you regardless of its size.

John: Whatever fag Steve. Washington has changed you.

Me: So, anyway. How's work?

So, it might have been funnier to us. But I can barely stop giggling as I type this out. Just wanted to share. :)

♫ A Day in the Life of a Toddler

Raise your hand if your toddler loves fast food! Scream if your toddler screams through the terrible twos and threes! DO tell, if you’re toddler ever went through a phase of independency. Because I have two. And Im a single mom on a budget. And I’m looking for answers, and good hearted mom to mom speak.

#1. A toddlers eating habits.

I try to cook a healthy meal, several times a week. Due to busy schedules, or pure exhaustion, you can cut that “several times” down by half. It’s just entirely too convenient to hit a drive thru on the way home from daycare after a long day. Or give in to their pleas for their favorite happy meals. Luckily, most food places have made it almost as affordable to feed kids through drive thrus, as it is to feed them from home. Even better, is several places have made it healthy and car friendly too! Taking a moment to get on my soap box about a few, and list my favorites too, in order from favorite, to least favorite:

Burger King

Confession: I am not a fan of Burger King. Though, in a fry contest, they win-second only to Dairy Queen. But food wise, they’re lacking for me. On the other hand, they’ve managed to completely cater to kids. They have apple fries. Apples, that are a bit safer to consume for kids in the car because they are long and skinny like a french fry, plus fun to eat. AND (big one for us), they have macaroni and cheese on the go now. That’s right. Kraft Macaroni at that. Which everyone knows, is the only thing that might be allowed to use as a substitution for Velveeta Mac&Cheese. They offer cute little kids drinks too-from apple juice to chocolate milk, in kid size containers. Burger King FOR THE WIN.


An all time favorite of mine, Chick-Fil-A gladly fills both mommy’s tummy, and toddlers’. From place mats to put on the table to protect them from germs, to “healthy toys” (usually books or flash cards), to actual healthy chicken…Chick-Fil-A is doing their part to improve the kids’ menu, from the time they sit down, to finish. Finger tips, to brain power.


Similar to Burger King, Arby’s strong point is their kid menu, in my opinion. They offer itty bitty little sandwiches filled with whole grain bread, meat, and cheese. A side of fruit, and a juice, and you’ve got yourself a healthy meal for under $4.


My least favorite, which bites, because they’ve really grabbed kids attention and quickly become every kids favorite place to play. It’s the park, and food, at the same place. Granted most people now have play centers, but let’s face it, McDonalds play grounds rock. Food wise, though…all they offer, as far as I know, is greasy cheeseburgers, or chicken nuggets, which still seems to be speculated if the chicken is even chicken, or beef, or both. The offer chunky apples with CARAMEL to dip them in. Caramel? Whoever came up with that one, was not a mom. Caramel+Toddler=Suck. Caramel+Toddler+Car=Big suck. Plus it put whatever was healthy in those apples, right down the drain in sugar. Their restaurants tend to be filthy (at least around here), and their service less than great.

The McDonald’s Rant was actually inspired by my friends blog: Copper Brick Road Please feel free to comment and help her cause!

The good news about all these places though, is they no longer put age restrictions on their menu’s. So, pick your favorite, go be a kid again, and eat for under $4! Plus, I know for sure Chick-Fil-A will let you sub the toy for a larger drink. I think most places will do some bargain like that.

#2. The Terrible Toddlers

Two and Three year olds seem to be infamous for going through a “bad stage”. Neither of mine have been too terrible, especially in public. Thank God. BUT, I’ve seen it. Been a witness in the grocery aisles to tantrum throwing hellions. What do you do??? It’s a stage. One that regardless of how much you do right, probably will eventually happen. Mine, both at the same time (age 4 and 3), have started stomping their feet when they’re mad. Searching for a cure…

In the mean time, I remind myself that it could always be worse. Bribe them with icecream, and thank God that I have toddlers in my life, regardless of current “phases”.

Who knew that something so small could be so emotion-driving though??

#3. Character and Independency

My youngest last night ignored me in the car for a flat half hour last night. When I finally asked her why she wouldn’t respond, she told me, ”Because my name is Stephanie now”. Ladies and gents, her name is not Stephanie. It’s not close to Stephanie. We don’t even know a Stephanie. I played her game…all night long, that was who she was. She woke up this morning, her normal Leyna, self…thank goodness. Just shocks me how they go from not talking, to knowing everything, then changing their name. Sigh.

Yours Truly,

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

♫ Confrontation, Pot Roast, and Reincarnation

I havent been able to blog lately, because the stuff that wants to come out-shouldn’t. At least on a profile that is publically read. So…an attempt at an anonymous-feeling blog, without being vague.

Life lesson: "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." -Dr. Wayne Dyer

Sometimes, it seems all too easy to get caught up in drama surrounding you. Between social sites like Twitter and Facebook encouraging updates that can be filled with things that call out your inner beast, or one-on-one confrontations, or family upheavals, or just general disagreements…drama is something that surrounds us. Avoiding it is temporary. So…how you react, is something only you can control.

There are two types of people out there, in my opinion. The person that loves confrontation, and the person that despises it. Confrontation can be healthy, if done right. Confrontation is not healthy, when provoked, rather than discussed.

In any argument, there are usually many sides to one story. That’s natural. It’s also very normal to stand your ground, and hold to your side. But how YOU react to their side, is your Karma-your choice. Every argument requires more than one person, and how it goes depends on both parties, not just one.

Sometimes, middle ground is impossible. Sometimes, it’s best to agree to disagree. And let it go. Never bring it up again. Holding a grudge, or storing past anger, is nothing like storing wine. It does not get better as it ages. In fact, it’s more like storing…cheese. A quote from a good friend: Even the safe processed cheese gets moldy after enough time. Eventually, it will start eating at you, and anyone else that you bring it in contact with. Let it go. Clean out your grudge fridge. ;) Mooooooove on.

On a lighter note:

I have a few small points I’d like you to think about:

*Everyone is dyslexic sometimes.
*Stop preparing your reaction to what a person is saying, and take in everything they are saying instead. Example: What are their eyes doing as they are telling you their story?
* Monday night football, is strangely more exciting this year. Go Vikings
* I’m convinced, having a green thumb, has nothing to do with plants. Some people just suck at it, regardless of their thumb color. ;)
* Is anyone else excited about Halloween decorating and Thanksgiving food already?
* Pot Roast also has nothing to with your thumbs.
* You cannot get second hand smoke from Cocaine. Neither can dogs. Experience not necessary.
* Everyone talks to themselves in the grocery aisles. Notice.
* Peace=calmness in your heart, not your brain. No matter how much you convince yourself that “it’s ok”, it’s not, until your soul agrees.
* Knitting, aint just for grandma’s.
* I think somebody came up with the idea of coming back after death as something else (reincarnation), because they’re terrified of death. Want insurance? Heaven is gonna rock. Ask me how.

Yours Truly,

Thursday, September 17, 2009

♫ What The Heck is Twitter??

Ahhhhh such a debate.

Twitter, is microblogging. A fancy word, for a site that limits you to exactly 140 characters to be creative, imaginative, informative, nosey…or the ability to provide entirely too much information.

Twitter was designed around a “What are you doing NOW” concept. So that you could Tweet in, and all your friends could see, in one place, what you’re up to! Who knew that’d its population would raise to millions of users?! Now, it’s less about your friends community, and more of a learning place. A “What’s going ON right now??” place.

It’s a great source for news and current events, career related links, gossip, jokes, and other random ways to meet people with a similar interest, out for a similar goal. Some people laugh together, get snarky together, and pass along giggles. Some post only news-worthy information. Some pray together, and link together. Some people are gay together (true story). Some…downright rude, others, intrusive. It’s a great place to get traffic to your personal or professional blogs (the full blown more than 140-character kind), or to find some that interest you. The worst though, are the ones that are actually using Twitter to its original potential. We don’t really neeeeeed to know that you’re on your way to the bathroom, or tying your shoes.

It’s one of those things that you don’t get, until you try. It’s addictive, and annoying at the very same time. In the grand scheme of things…it’s an example of what the direction of our technological future is headed…and you either get on board, or watch it happen. If you’re one of the spectators making fun of Twitter, don’t knock it til’ ya try it. Some people, hate it. Hate it if you want, but not until you’re on it for a bit. It’s definitely not something that’s meant for every person. It is, however, touching every person. It’s all over the radio, TV, movies, magazines, catalogs, blogs, Facebook, websites, etc.

What’s the point?

Guess that depends on the reason you logged in. If you heard about it on the radio, follow your radio folks and watch what their up to. If you’re a blogger or web marketer, drive traffic. If you’re a pastor…have the opportunity to pray over millions. If you’re a laugher by nature: be funny, and find funny.

Log in to Twitter…and prepare yourself for awesome. Or at least….a whole different spin on social media and marketing.

Yours Truly,

PS. If you ARE a Twitter fan…follow me here:

Our Blog:

My sister:

My daddy (don’t even try it, he’s locked down tight for our protection! But…it’s quite exciting that he’s there!)

My soul charger:

My Linda:

My Cindy:

My Co-Workers:

And my biggest laugh daily, (rated PG13-R most of the time, but worth your time for her humor alone):

Monday, September 14, 2009

♫ Transition to Fall

This looks nothing like the Wyoming Autumn's, I envy those of you that get this scene. You can envy our massive winters and mountains if you want, though!

Fall is here. Well, it feels like it’s here. Technically, the first day of Autumn, isn’t until next Tuesday-I believe?

For some reason, my internal clock feels fall, and gets all responsible. Every year ever since forever. My to-do list starts growing and making me feel accomplished. I thought I’d share what I’ve got on it this year, and maybe motivate you to do the same:

#1. Doc checks before I need one. So…I get a physical before I catch something, I get my girly yearly, I get my eyes checked before I have to drive in the snow, I get my hair colored in winter form, I get my teeth checked and ready for hot, hot chocolate, etc.

#2. I clean. Like a mad-woman. I don’t spring clean, I winter clean. Something to do with the fact that I feel like I might be spending months on end indoors, and want it to be sparkly so it feels warmer, probably.

#3. I stock up on the firewood. We’ve had three homes with fireplaces, and I generally find way to get enough wood for three winters. I’ll never own a home without one.

#4. My car goes to the doctor before it needs one. I check all my fluids, rotate and check the tires, check and triple check the brakes to prepare for ice, and this year, make sure my defroster works. I had to use it a whole four times this summer, and it didn’t work well. In the summer, the windows down provides excellent defrogging power. Not so great in the winter with kids in the back seat. Etc. Etc. Full internal clock checkup.

#5. I stock up on food. Something in me tells me someday I might be stranded without green beans. Before the snow flies, my cubbards are stocked up to survive for months. Plus, for some reason, I LOVE to cook in the winter. In the summer, you’ll rarely find me in the kitchen. But winter…I bust out teh skillz.

#6. All of my things need to smell fresh in my home. I clean the curtains, bedding, furniture and carpets. Summer, stays alive at home…with a cozy affect.

I think that’s it. My to-do list, that, apparently needs to hurry up and start getting checked. We didn’t get much of a summer in Wyoming. It feels like Fall is very much upon us, with brisk mornings, cold nights, and breezy, cool afternoons. It’s by far my favorite season though. Football, cornmazes, haunted houses, my birthday, the perfect weather and scenery for pictures, etc. For some reason, Fall always feels like a new beginning. More than Spring, to me anyway. I’m ready to get all cozy-ed up in front of a fire in a clean sparkly house smelling of cooking…with my uber-safe car sitting right outside. How ‘bout you??

Yours Truly,

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Lies, all lies.

I just got took by my neighbor. Being new to this area, I'm overly anxious to meet and greet my Gourley Street peeps with a warm smile and friendly attitude. I might need to add a small guard.
Walking in the warm, fading light, I see my neighbor hangin' out on her porch and I smile and say, "Nice evening isn't it?"

"It IS lovely and guess what?!" She replies "It's my birthday tomorrow!" I notice that she is slightly... strange.

"Wow! Happy birthday, tomorrow! Maybe we'll see you again and we can sing you a song for your birthday!" I like making people feel special on the anniversary of their birth... no matter the stranger.

One whole weeks passes and more than once I wonder if said neighbor had a nice day, surrounded by friends, family and presents. Just yesterday, Mal and I rode by on Bella.

"I hope you had a good birthday!" I salute.

"It IS lovely and guess what?!" She replies "It's my birthday tomorrow!"


Thursday, September 10, 2009

♫ This Life Right Here... It's TOO Heavy!

My sister "holding up" a falling building. Touch chick, huh??

Ever feel like you’re holding the world up, all alone? Like everything piles on so fast you cant keep up? Guess what? You’re not alone!. It’s very normal to feel that way…and Im going to give you some assistance in finding a way out from under that weight.

#1. Breathe.

It’s crazy, but you’ll notice, under high stress…your brain actually lets you forget to breathe deeply. It doesn’t take a doctor to figure out that lack of oxygen=lack of blood flow=lack of productivity under the pile of crap that feels all heavy. So, when things get thick, figure out a way to remind yourself to breathe. A few exercises:

Feel your feet touch the floor. As in, concentrate so hard on your feet, that you can feel them on the surface of whatever they are. Sit straight up, or stand straight up, opening your lungs completely, and breathe. Think about things like…what does my knee feel like right now. Sounds nuts but it works! You’ll get all zoned out and immediately relaxed.

#2. Organize.

Find something in your general vicinity that you can organize. Clean out your car, Clorox your desk, arrange your paperclips by color, make a grocery list, make a priority or attack list, on how you’re going to get through your pile. If you aren’t in a place where you can do that, find something to write with, and write down what you want to get done. If you’re in the shower, use the soap and write on the walls! Even if it goes away, your brain will feel all filtered.

#3. Clean!

I am OCD, and a little crazy…but most of my normal friends can confirm that a good cleaning or scrubbing of anything, even something as simple as your nasty grody cell phone that always gets forgotten when you Clorox, will actually lower stress levels!

#4. Find something to help you zone.

For me, it’s music. Or reading. Or riding. Anything to do with words, and my brain immediately shrinks back to normal blood pressure size. Some people it’s exercise (you people are crazy), for some it’s food. Or zoning in front of the TV. Or game console (another crazy breed).

Going to get off track for a sec

Do NOT buy Eric Church’s new CD. I bought it for this song….”Love Your Love the Most”. Amazing song. The rest of the CD. “Meh” is an awesome word to describe it. I hate it when that happens. Anyway. Don’t do it.

Although…Nickelback’s DARK HORSE CD, and the newest Theory of a Deadman CD? Both awesome.

ah hem

Actually, now that I’m all side-tracked, I think that’s all I had to say anyway. The point is, the weight of the world, really isn’t that heavy when you get it in the right order…especially if you have people around you to help you hold it up!

Yours Truly,

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

♫ I'll Take What I Can Get

Go ahead and say it...."awwwww". ;) This is of me, my angels, and my marvelous sister. Thought it an appropriate picture for today's blog.

Due to being a girl, and being pregnant (Ha! Fooled YOU), I am about once a month, overwhelmed with insecurity. Rarely, it’s about me. Mostly, it’s about what I have, and the chances of either losing it, or having other people realize I don’t deserve it. We’re not talking about material possessions. We’re talking about my abundance of family, both blood and otherwise. My little angel girls. My amazing guy. His amazing family. My friends. My perfect little cozy, private doll house of a home with a rocking landlord. The job I’ve been dying to create and have for a few years. Etc. Most of the time, I am grateful. I make it a point to tell almost all of you that, as often as possible. But once a month or so, I feel undeserving, and you know it. I get all emotional and crap. So…for example…the last time I attacked my amazing guy with these insecurities:

We were sitting in his living room. He was playing Madden or something on his Xbox, or maybe flipping through channels (professional channel surfer)…I don’t really remember. Anyway, he looked over at me after a weekend of being like ”are you SURE you still like me, because I don’t like me and you shouldn’t like me and im being a girl I cant help it!" crap, and saw me sitting there looking at him all teary eyed. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him that I don’t feel pretty, I don’t deserve him, I don’t deserve my girls, I have ugly toes, etc. And of course, being the guy he is, was far from short of perfect words to put me back together.

I remember my head spinning though, after that. Feeling still insecure…and realizing after those stupid hormones went back on vacation where they belong, that it’s just hormones. That if I didn’t deserve all of those things, they wouldn’t be in my life right now.

I also realized something else. Looking around that weekend, and this might have had something to do with my instable emotions, every relationship close to me, was falling apart. Thus, obviously, giving me doubts on my own. I started wondering what the point is. If nobody lasts, if everybody ends up unhappy, then what is the point?

What I decided?

I’ll take what I can get.

I have what I have right now, because it’s exactly what I deserve. I have everything that makes me happy, because it does. And if this relationship ends tomorrow, it was worth it. If what I have right now, disappears while I dream tonight, it was worth it…because of everything I did get. It’s not about the “what-if’s”, or “what’s ahead”, or “when might it end”…it’s about right now. And taking in every bit, of right now. My girls are only going to be this giggly age for so long. My sister will only be an arms length away until she finds the next opportunity to leap on. My house is only going to be mine, for a bit longer. This job, probably temporary. I have to be happy with what I've got, right now...and trust God that my future will hold this much bliss too. Worrying about the future only brings it closer.

I posted a quote on Facebook today:

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."

I got several awesome responses, but my favorite one:

“…We would solve a lot of relationship problems if we focused on BEING the right person.”

Stop looking around at everybody else, or at the time that is ahead or behind you, or the possibilities, and just work on you, right now.

Yours Truly,

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Melancholy is incompatible with bicycling. ~James E. Starrs

This is it. My liberation. Rase purchased, for me, a 19060's Murray Beach Cruiser. Baby, it is sweeeeet. I love it- her. And I named her. Bella. Doesn't that sound as sweet as she looks? Now, Malachi are free to explore Boise in her beautiful cloak of fall.

Now that we're out and about, riding in unison with every other soul in Idaho- I'm a bit nervous about safety for myself, Malachi and others. So, I thought I'd do my share and spread the knowledge.

First things first: Make sure you can be seen. Of course, if you have a Bella like mine, you will be seen. But, please go a step further and be safe.

* Wear bright colors, especially at night.
* Use reflectors!!
* Always wear your helmet! Okay, so this can be debated (cough, not really) but I have a confession: I don't wear one. I do, however, make Malachi wear one. He hates it; I mean, really hates it. No matter. He's wearing it.

Rules: Yes, cyclists, the rules of the road apply to us as well. If you choose to ride on the street:

* Make sure you're going the speed limit or are not impeding traffic.
* Are on the right hand side of the road (it is illegal for cyclists to ride on the left hand side).
* Stop at stop signs and stop lights.
* Yield to those on foot.
* Signal when turning.

Some not-so-well-known rules: I remember learning these as a child, but never actually see anyone practicing them:

* Cross railroad tracks at a right angle.
* Walk your bike across a crosswalk.
* Do not wear headphones on both ears while riding. (I see this allll the time!)
* Don't drink and ride. Really, it IS as dangerous as driving whilst drunk. Don't be an idiot.

It seems like there is a lot to remember when all you want to do is get out there and have fun- however, if you think with your common sense, it should all come naturally. Just remember what is safe (for you and others) and what isn't. The rest will fall in place.

To learn about general bicycle safety, go here:

Happy cycling!


** And they call me…. “The Pop Nazi”!

Another great guest blog, enjoy!

Ok, you are finally getting it. The soda rant everyone needs to hear from this girl, just because if I can stop you from killing yourself slowly by drinking a pop a day, I would love to! (Yes, I am talking to all of you that love your regular Mountain Dew a day!..... or another kind, I just know lots of people who indulge in that drink particularly…)

So here you go, if you were talking to me directly, this is what you are going to get if I tell you that I don’t drink pop and why you shouldn’t.

First: You know those wonderful bubbles you love to drink for whatever reason? Or if we are getting technical the carbonation!?!? (I never have understood why people like that stuff that makes your belly full and makes you wanna burp…) Well, its made up of calcium phosphate. A fancy two words that mean that it does quite the opposite of what milk and other calcium sources do for you. Too much of that, and too little of the good stuff with calcium will cause your bones to break down . Who wants that? As if us ladies don’t have enough problems shrinking in height as we age.

Second: you ready? high fructose corn syrup . Yeah, that’s right. You know the commercials that say “okay in moderate ammounts” or whatever the heck it is…. They are right, it IS okay in moderate ammounts, but for the next day, I dare you to look at every bottle of beverage you drink and check out the ingredients….. You will be shocked to realize that in almost every beverage you buy out of a bottle or can that is NOT organic is sweetened with high fructose corn syrup and it is almost always the second ingredient. In other words, people who make those yummy sweetened drinks use lots of it! AND the stuff is highly correlated with heart disease and obesity. (I know a lot of you may argue about the new “throwback” that has REAL sugar in it, good job. BUT it’s still pop, and I don’t like it either.) SO….. If you want to stay away from this high fructose corn syrup, I recommend organic drinks such as (I found them on accident and they are YUMMMMY and starting to sell in gas stations and King Soopers.) Or stick to water J It is always good for you.

Third: Haven’t you seen or heard about what happens to a penny if you throw it into some Coke for a few days? It dissolves. Deteriorates. Do you really want that in your stomache!?

Fourth: (and last thing that you will hear me TELL you, as if I haven’t convinced you already) is the extremely high calorie count that it will add to your diet. Think about it, on average the regular soda pop has about 110 calories (assuming you aren’t drinking a liter…) Say you only drink 1 a day. Add that up. 365 days a year? That is 40,150 calories a year that you are drinking unneccesarily…. Just immagine if you could replace ALL of those with water, you will be better hydrated AND might even knock off a few pounds. Just. Like. That.

Have you had enough yet? Usually after my rants, I have friends who tell me they really don’t care, then I have friends calling me for a so called “intervention” (wink) which I am happy to give, if you really want me to J

Happy Drinking!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

** Borderline Personality Disorder

A new blog from a Guest Blogger. Enjoy!

Borderline personality disorder can be a distressing medical condition, both for the people who have it and for those around them. When you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you have difficulty controlling your emotions and are often in a state of upheaval — perhaps as a result of harmful childhood experiences or brain dysfunction.

With borderline personality disorder your image of yourself is distorted, making you feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Your anger, impulsivity and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you yearn for loving relationships.

Increasing awareness and research are helping improve the treatment and understanding of borderline personality disorder. Emerging evidence indicates that people with borderline personality disorder often get better over time and that they can live happy, peaceful lives.

The first time I heard this phrase I had to do the eye roll. I thought to myself, what's that it sounds so vile. Only to find out 2 years later I would have first hand experience with a woman who had this disorder. She made me believe her lies. She made me think that everyone pretty much lied to me and she was the only one who was telling the truth. This women put me through hell for almost a year. I was trapped inside my mind wondering if I should tell someone what she had fed my brain. What an dreadful action she did when I was pregnant. I finally had enough of the mind games and I told my husband. He has helped me through this tough time of growth and healing. I still have times where I blame myself for her wrong doing and why her life has suddenly become so damaged. I haven't talked to her since I let her lies come known. If you feel like you have been a victim of someone who has borderline personality disorder I strongly suggest reading up on it or talk to a therapist. It's a hard battle but so worth it to let go of the all the hurt and blame.

By Mayo Clinic staff
Borderline personality disorder affects how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others and how you behave.

When you have BPD, you often have an insecure sense of who you are. That is, your self-image or sense of self often rapidly changes. You may view yourself as evil or bad, and sometimes may feel as if you don't exist at all. An unstable self-image often leads to frequent changes in jobs, friendships, goals, values and gender identity.

Your relationships are usually in turmoil. You often experience a love-hate relationship with others. You may idealize someone one moment and then abruptly and dramatically shift to fury and hate over perceived slights or even minor misunderstandings. This is because people with the disorder have difficulty accepting gray areas — things are either black or white. For instance, in the eyes of a person with BPD, someone is either good or evil. And that same person may seem good one day and evil the next.

Other signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may include:

Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees or taking illicit drugs
Strong emotions that wax and wane frequently
Intense but short episodes of anxiety or depression
Inappropriate anger, sometimes escalating into physical confrontations
Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
Suicidal behavior
Fear of being alone

Here are a couple of books:

Stop Walking on Eggshells

Get me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dear Jabberwocky

I found this from some of my writings back in high school. Just thought I'd share it- it's pretty encouraging and considering my state of mind during that year, I'd say well-fitting.

Dear Alice,

Why can't all life be simple? The way it is in my dreams. I fear that the complexity of any situation only clouds my mind so that I cannot clearly understand the purpose of it all. But, yet, why does everything need to be understood? Why do we constantly strive to know the meaning of everything?

Dear Sarah,

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Go ahead, just leave it at that. It doesn't need to be translated or understood. It just is; that's all.

Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!

Life's full of little tricks and scams. Little trick questions and riddles that seem to have the only purpose of convincing you to make a mad choice or go down a mad road.

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Take yours...

Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

Don't let your sanity escape you in your eager wait for adventure. Be ready so that you're not struck down.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

Be ready! Stand your ground! You're adventure is here! Don't be caught by surprise, but fight the fight. Never never never never never never never quit!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

You did it! You've won the battle! And in good time, too. You didn't give up and you proved yourself.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

Now, rest a while. You've finished one chapter in a life well lived. Take your credit, you've earned it.

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