Monday, August 29, 2011

♥ Ta-dah!

I've found my inner DIY diva. She's fabulous. Her house is amazing and her projects are all to die for. This shall be her first post. There may be others, it just depends on what she finds.

First, I must give due credit to another crafty blogger from whom I borrowed this idea. Check out My So Call Green Life for inspiration and tutorials galore. You can thank me later.

For this project, you will need:

* a t-shirt. size medium or large works best so you have enough to make it shorter if you want. i've heard this doesn't work with 100% cotton shirts, so make sure you find a stretchy blend.

* rotisserie cutter (you can find them at wal-mart for about $12)

* cutting surface- you don't want to ruin any other surface because the cutter is sharp

* 10-12 beads with holes big enough for the fabric to fit through

* safety-pin (this is optional, it depends on the size of your beads)

To begin, I cut off the torso at the arms. Sorry, I didn't get a picture of this part because I didn't think to blog it until after. Anyway. Imagine drawing a line, horizontally, from one armpit to the other and that is where I cut.

Stopping just short of the seam, cut the whole section of cloth into 1/4" to 1/2" strips. Make sure you don't cut through the seam.

Take each end of the material in your hand and pull gently (you can do this in small section, too). Each piece will curl into itself.

Gather each attached end of the cloth and wrap them with strips from the shirt. I cut the sleeves, horizontally, to make the strips.

Cut one strip of cloth in the middle and string your beads with a knot in between each one. The holes in my beads were too small to simply string, so I used the safety-pin to poke the material into and through the other end. Tie the remaining ends together to complete the fancy, beaded, part of the scarf.

Wha-la! You've made yourself a chic, upcycled scarf for the fall! Send us pictures and we'll post them!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

♥365 Days of Change

Nomz wrote all about what has happened to her this year. Holy cats, it's been a crazy year hasn't it? Feels almost like the stuff she accomplished should've taken longer. But, no, that's my Naomi. She crams all the learning and growing things into 365 days of change.

I'd say the same amount of craziness has happened in my life, too. If you take Sazaran from summer of 2010 and hold her up to Sazaran of 2011 you probably would think they're two different people; the former being sort of a gray-scale version of the latter. However, I'm not going to blog about what has happened to me; instead, I'm going to blog about what has happened in me. Because we all know that what happens to you does not necessarily reflect what happens inside of you.

- First and foremost, I've learned (am learning) what true love is. I'm being brought back to the basics: love, grace, mercy, time with Jesus. The main character of this life lesson? My husband, Bruce. Didn't see THAT coming, did ya?! He's been a prime example, from day one of the climb towards that sacrificial love that always endures. I'm so happy that I get to do life with him, I wouldn't want to be tethered to anyone else.

-I've learned to laugh, even when the most logical emotion is the opposite.

- Just like Nomz, (gosh we're so much alike) I branched out with my writing and honed in on that voice speaking inside of me. I took on the challenge of my frequent writer's block and just wrote... a lot. Not even in the blog, but everywhere. Yes, if you're wondering, I'm still offending people with my words. Not intentionally, though. It just happens. I've learned that that part of me might never change. As long as I use it for good and not for evil I don't think I'll employ censor tape.

- I've learned to discern which bridges need to be burned and which need to be rebuilt.

- I've been shown the difference between loving people just as they are and knowing that love calls us from victory to victory. Love doesn't allow us to wallow in our old ways, but it challenges us to be new and improved. Still, that love that says, "I'll stick with you and love you for YOU" is an important lesson.

- I've learned to not forget about my dreams and to pursue them.

- I'm learning about suffering. And death. And love. And how they all blend to make the most beautiful life-tapestry. I'm learning that the hard way doesn't always have to be seen as the worst way. See? Fireflight knows:

The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
And the difference makes it worth it

- Life comes in full circle, ya know? All the things I never thought I'd personally have to deal with are right back in my life. God's sneaky like that.

- I've learned about friendship. What it looks like, what it doesn't look like. Where I need to improve and where I've done a good job. I've learned to let go and/or to cling to, all the while finally realizing that friendship is not a source of "what can I get from this?" but "how can I be your friend, first?" That's a tricky one, let me tell you.

- I'm being called to something higher; to something that scares the crap out of me. And I think this might be the next lesson that I learn: I can do nothing on my own. God shows His funny sense of humor when He uses the foolish things to confound the wise. He calls the weakest people to tackle the biggest tasks. He chooses the most unexpected ways to fulfill His will. I'm part of that unexpected pick, I think. Not even I would have chosen me for what He has planned. And I need to learn to let go and trust. <---- biggest lesson, right there.

- I've learned that the lessons will never stop presenting themselves. And the choice of when to learn the lesson is up to me.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

♫ A Dose of Nomz

Truth me told, Sazaran and I have slacked on this blog. This last year has created HUGE changes in not only this blog, our friendship, but our personal lives as well. We haven't deleted it because our ever faithful readers still check in on us (awwww, you guys! <3), and we have plans to revive this it comes to us. Before we can do that, I think we both owe you some updates. I'll start, and then I'll bug Sazaran, and maybe it'll kick off the possible best future blog you could ever fathom. We love writing for you, we adore that you've stuck around waiting for us, and we can't WAIT to turn the lights back on in this place.

In the last year, Nomz has:

-Moved from Wyoming to Colorado
-Continued to raise two bouncing baby girls, who are about to enter school (gaspSOB)
-Changed jobs, from Social Marketing Specialist, to Social Marketing Specialist working at an Accounting Firm
-Lost a friend
-Gained 100 friends
-Started another blog:
-Joined a non-profit organization called "Colorado Young Farmers"
-Might Possibly have joined the board of directors at another non-profit, it's unapproved and unofficial
-Fell further in love with Brandon, the girls, life...
-Traveled to Boston and Las Vegas, two new places for this girl
-Was in one of my best friends' wedding
-Watched my girls be Flower Girls in said wedding, their first public appearance in tutus!
-Fit BACK into my size 4/6 jeans
-Ran a 5K
-Walked a 5K
-Read over 100 books


I'm sure there's more. It's been a long year, long day, and my baby starts kindergarten tomorrow, so lemme alone.

Sazaran and I have changed monumentally this year, as you'll see, but our passion for writing continues and we'll continue to pop in and surprise you with gorgeous words as often as you'll let us.

While we're waiting for her to jump in on this bandwagon, ...what's the top ten things you've done while we've been gone?

Yours Truly,

Monday, May 2, 2011

Free The Girls update!

Actually, this isn't so much of an update as it is a wrap-up. We wanted you, our awesomely awesome readers to know how many bras we collected, in total.

With bras trickling in even
months after we officially stopped taking them, we were able to donate 376 bras to Free The Girls! {And I don't think we even collected bras from other drop-off points! Am I right, Wyomingwildrose?} This is amazing, people! I don't think we can clearly express just how much this will help those victims who have been rescued from modern-day slavery, who are yet to be rescued and who help with the rescuing. The impact we've made on these people will ripple out and bring so much healing and new life to others. And you helped do it! Bravo to you!!

I (Sazaran) had the chance to meet Kimba, the co-founder of FTG, and talk to her a little bit about what's to come. She informed me that they're well on their way to becoming a non-profit organization which means they'll be able to accept monetary donations as well as bras. They've also had businesses from Denver partner with them and are planning new ways to actually get the bras to Africa.

It just gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, don't it? :)

SO. With that being said, let's keep in mind that there's still so much to do. Human trafficking is a tangled mess of evil that won't easily be squashed. What can you/we still do to keep the efforts of Kimba and countless other fueled?

* Buy the really cute, really stylish shirts that Free The Girls is selling here. Ten percent of the profits go directly toward releasing the captives and putting their captors behind bars.

* Give bras! Duh! Even though our blogging has slowed and we no longer have drop-boxes in public places, we'll still be more than happy if you want to hand over your braziers for the greater good.

* If you don't have bras or have a hoarding problem, you can donate your money to Free the Girls here.

* Spread the word. Word of mouth is really important for Free the Girls right now because the less money they spend on promoting, the more money they can use toward freeing victims.

* Pray. Pray for the women who have been taken; pray that their hope will remain confident in that we are looking for them. Pray that Kimba and Mama T are strengthened and can continue in this amazing cause without discouragement or stress. Pray that the men (and women, because some of them are involved, too) who commit this horrible act against humanity will realize what they're doing and STOP.

To end in an upbeat style, check out these pictures of our journey to free the girls!

Ashley! donated her talent to make us this awesome sign for our bra box. Isn't it pretty?!

A HUGE thank you to Rylee from Cheyenne's News Channel 5 (and Sazaran's fiance, Bruce, for his awesomerest connections) for helping us spread the word about Free the Girls!

Sarah: "We should totally wear these on the outside of our shirts for the interview."
Camera guy: "Please, no."

If you're wondering, YES, the ladies of RJ do get hit on. No, these are not their bras.

They're Nomz's bras. Heh. :)

Sorry ladies, Jay is married. :)

We want to give huge-mongous Thank yous to:

Channel News 5 for highlighting the story and helping us raise our voices

Jay for his awesome attitude and willingness to hop right in and support our efforts.

Ruby Juice for being the main avenue for donations (I think they should have kept the bras for decoration, but that's just me).

Each and every soul who chose to donate new, used and gently used bras. You made the difference. And we love your faces for it.

<3 Nomz and Sazaran

Thursday, March 10, 2011

♫ Stay Out of Your Way

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”— Ralph Waldo Emerson

My heart hurts.

It's been a day of conflict. And what hurts the most, is that not a single bit of it was with me. I just had to sit and watch the pain happen. I was sitting at work today, getting dizzy, watching two friends destroy each other with venomous thoughts.

As if watching a movie, I chose to rewind. I thought back on the last few months, and how much I've shed tears for broken friends, lost sleep over torn family, and emailed until my fingers were exhausted - resolving or creating conflict.

It's not one person that's always involved. It's every single person that I know...hurting. I hear a lot of excuses. I give a lot of excuses. ...

She's selfish. He's always been mean, I've just run out of patience. Money is too tight to fix things. She won't learn from her mistakes. I'm facing a life-change, and can't deal with it. It's his fault. It's his job. My kids are naughty. She's gotten so self, and boy, absorbed. She always has an excuse. He loves somebody else more than me. He won't leave his dream for mine. She's quick to judge, but refuses to see herself truly. He's clingy. My job is too hard.

It's ironic how when we're absolutely unhappy, we immediately turn to blame somebody else, isn't it? We never find ourselves to blame for our own unhappiness, but we're quick to boast how we found our destiny. Our love. Our joy. All the good.

"For every second that we are angry, we lose a second of happiness."
"Bitterness is a symptom of emotional failure."
"In life, don't always wait for someone to come along and fix whats wrong. Sometimes, you just have to be your own hero/"

To find happiness and balance, we've got to find it in ourselves, by ourselves, accepting full responsibility for our choices, emotions, and actions. To find your place in this world, you've got to pick your path all on your own. To find a sense of belonging, listen to your heart. Your heart.

To find your way, you've got to get out of your way.

Yours Truly,

Saturday, February 19, 2011

♫ Toddler Trouble: Episode 987651

Sometimes, having toddlers make me want to act like one. Obtain a mental picture of me stomping around in a gigantic circle, pulling my hair, and huffing as loudly as possible when things don't go my way. It may look silly in your head, but me, I'm winning our little game.

Being a mom of two toddlers, I am blessed to be challenged with something new every single day. I face those challenges with the outlook that I can love them through all of it. There is nothing that a little love can't cure. Of course, sometimes love means punishment, but in our house, that's a rare necessity. I have good kids. The toddler I had you mentally picture above was more me actually, than them. I've never seen them throw a rager like some kids. I'm challenged though, like any other mom. And I've officially become stumped.

I've become stumped over something ridiculously simple, probably. All the more reason for there to be epic comments telling me how silly I'm being, and how to fix this little issue of mine. Call me hysterical if you want, but please help me before I get my huff-face on again.

My girls are five and four. And while I have a goal of us all sitting around the dinner table every night together as a family, our busy schedules rarely allow it. Perhaps the best solution. Regardless of the table, they get dinner every night (I get props for THAT, right?!). And it's rare that they argue about what I put in front of them. Willing to at least try what I've attempted, for fear I'll make them eat it at the next meal, and the next, and the next until they like it (ah hem, thank you Alicia, for THAT brilliance).

BUT...they take AN HOUR AND A HALF to finish anything put in front of them! They get to giggling and carrying on, or crying out of exhausting, that they refuse to eat at a decent pace.

I know I'm not alone in this, and I know it's normal...because I did it. And my parents solved it by putting a timer on the table. When the timer was up, we lost out on dinner. Period. Because I hated that rule SO MUCH when I was small, I'm being stubborn and refusing to try the method. But, times are desperate. I want my kids to have healthy meals, and finish them in a timely manner, and if I have to (*big gulp*), I'll try the timer plan.

First though, what would you do if you were me? If I sat you down with a pair of giggling turtles, and asked you to make them eat at a comfortable would you light the fire? How would you encourage them to get-a-move-on? Or perhaps I'm overreacting, and I should encourage them to eat at their own pace. It's only bedtime and playtime we're putting off, after all. Maybe, just maybe, this is the universe saying "Grow yourself some patience, mama bear."

Frustrated mama.

Yours Truly,

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Ever thought of having a blog? Today they’re a dime a dozen and you can find someone’s posted thoughts on any topic ever imagined. Literally. There are some pretty weird blogs out there; there are also some pretty amazing, hilarious, inspiring and creatively unique blogs out there. Here are some tips that Nomz and I have put together for your reference:

Must Love Writing
As said above, blogs are everywhere and almost everyone has tried their hand at blogging. But, we really think it takes someone who really loves writing to have a successful blog. And you can tell when someone who doesn’t really have a personal relationship with their dictionary/thesaurus tries to put their thoughts into words. Yes, yes you can. So, please, love writing. It’s so much more fun that way.

Accept Critique Gracefully
Nomz and I are far from being professional bloggers and Lord knows we have so much to learn (and remember) about this gig; the trick is to pick and choose each bit of advice and criticism that people freely hand over. There has been more than one occasion where a friend or stranger shared their opinion of our posts- sometimes we took it to heart, discussed it or just put it on the shelf to collect pretty particles of dust. The key is to discern whether someone is being genuine or critical in a negative way and then to figure out how to apply it (or not) to your writing. Remember: A blog is personal, but making it too personal can leave you exposed for people to attack.

Ignore the “Anonymous” Nay-Sayers
This one could go for both Life in general and any type of blog you attempt. They’ll always be there with their clouds of doom and negativity. Ignore them. Love your writing, anyway; be passionate, anyway; tell the truth, anyway; stand up for yourself, anyway.

Add Your Own Touch
With how diverse our gorgeous world is, there will never be enough information to cover or too many stories to tell. But, all these things can be told in a boring and blasé way. If you want to blog about your cat, your job or your bad habits then, please, be creative! Or no one will care and no one will read. Don’t be afraid to be different, you're speaking to a really loud room, most saying all the same things- stand out or fail. Our touch? It seems to be Random Thoughts, doesn't it? That sort of just evolved.

There’s a reason why we usually put a picture at the beginning of our posts- they capture imagination and create a mental foundation for the rest of the read.

Keep A Journal, Be Consistent
These two go together, we feel, because they depend on each other. Nomz and I both have scads of journals that we’re constantly scribbling notes, quotes and inspiration in. Without a piece of paper to write your blogging ideas about, you’ll never remember because something else will grab your attention. A journal will allow you to pace your writing and hash out ideas for posts; consistency is important if you want to maintain interest.

Know Your Stuff
Be researched if you plan on *sounding* researched. Chances are somebody is already an expert. Also, it will help to have some HTML knowledge, some technical background will help you rank on Google and get unique visitors to your blog, not just your loyal army of friends and family. <--- This is allll Nomz’s area of specialty. And thank God for her!

Scrap It All
OR, you can ignore everything we've just said and blog for you! If writing helps release anxiety; if you don't really care who reads your stuff or if anyone does at all or if what need to do is write or die... then, by all means, spill your happy heart out! We'll cheer for you and if you send us a link we may read your stuff every now and then!

So, there it is folks! Our little tips on having a blog that you can be proud of. We’re still small news compared to some amazing blogs out there, but we LOVE our Daily Offensive!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

♫ Drought...Watered.

Rumor has it, it's been months since I've blogged. A bit of a word-drought, if you will. And not so much for lack of things to say, but lack of time to be playing on the internet. Don't you worry, I've got an entire notebook full of hand-written blogs waiting to be posted for your lovely eyes.

So. Here we are, a fairly peaceful Friday afternoon. I'm sick, my oldest daughter is sick, my boxer puppy is sleeping next to me (snoring ferociously), and my sister is on her way with icecream to help us all feel better. My house is so clean, my ceiling fan has been bleached and my carpets are standing on end. The afternoon sun is cuddling up with us in my living room, promising to stick around for the next five days or so.

Trust me w hen I say my lack of time on the internet isn't personal. Well, I mean it's not offensive. It's definitely personal. My personal life is severely interfering with my internet life. Listed below, is just a glimpse of my "right now"...

*My girls are at a point in their life where their personalities are fighting to prove themselves unique. Sassyfrass and looptyloo have been recent nicknames for them, both constantly making me laugh, reminding me to be grateful for what I've got, and how fast life happens. I have yet to hit a stage of their little ages that I can't love them through, and I can't wait to see what 2011 brings us.

*My guy. I could mush all day about him, but Sazaran recently gushed and I don't want the blog to throw up from overexposure. Let's just say this...Brandon couldn't be a better man for my girls to admire, a better life partner for me to stand next to, or a more honest, harder working man, pushing us all to be a better version of ourselves. He is my strength lately, nursing us all back to health, and my best friend.

*My friends. I moved fairly recently, and miss most of my friends sorely. I have yet to bond with anybody down here like I did at home, and there are days it pangs me not to be there any longer. That being said, it proves that we are the best kind of friends, because even with the longer distance between us, we're growing stronger, finding opportunities to bust out the camera or spontaneous road trip, chickflick'ing our way through the weekends, and emailing/texting/using technology every hour of every day. It's a lot harder to keep relationships up from a distance, but it's absolutely worth the growth that happens because of it.

*My job. Like any normal job, there are good days and bad days. But I couldn't have been luckier finding coworkers that understand that, and a boss that is flexible around me having kids, a life outside of work, and stresses of life that are out of my control. I do work for an accountant though, and it's tax season, so don't expect the blogs to pick up too much. Also note: don't piss off your accountant ever. But if you do, don't make it during tax season.Bribery is also suggested.

*My family. My family consists of a lot of people. Blood related, and love related. I'm learning, still, that family isn't just the ones that have your DNA, but also the ones that will jump at a moment's notice to save you, your kids, your dogs, or your house (from you, obv). The ones that call regularly, and email when you send out an SOS tweet or text. Family matters more than anything in the world, and I can't stress enough how grateful I am that you're all in my life.

Speaking of, my lovely sister just strode into my home, icecream in hand. Gorgeous as always, and just getting off babysitting duty, she attempted to remove a banana from my shirt forgetting that I'm not the one year old she's been attending all week. For the record, I do not have a banana on my shirt, it's just a decoration. But if I were one, I'd be taken care of. See? Family. <3

Yours Truly,

Monday, February 7, 2011

♥ Me+Him

Remember, a while back, when I provided a list of requirements for all potential applicants of Mr. Right? Just as soon as that blog was posted, I immediately folded up the invisible paper, stained with invisible words, and shoved it into the deepest part of the smallest drawer in the back of my heart. It was there, I could feel it, but I always thought, "This is a nice little list. Too bad I'll probably have to settle to be as close to happy as I dream of being."

And I'm sure God heard my little heart-sigh and had to give a chuckle. If only I knew who He had in mind for my very near future. 379 days into the future, to be exact, Mr. Right himself took center-stage of my life. This love of mine has not only pin-pointed every requirement, he has gone beyond into the "hoped for but not spoken" requests that had added themselves to my list.

I can tell you that I have never felt this loved, protected and cherished by any one person in my 26 years of living. I've never been held so close in such a respectful and honored way. I have never felt loved enough to be able to share even the parts of myself that I'm not proud of.

Enter thought: God does waaaaay better than any online dating service ever could.
There has not been one day that he has not made me crack up over and over.
He talks me through even the muckiest of feelings.
His small notes and texts of sweet nothings are such effective ways of saying, "I'm still thinking about you."
Can you see his heart from where you are? It's seriously that big.

Little thoughts flutter in and out of my heart each day. Thoughts like, "That love song totally fits us." or "I'm so glad it's him. No one else could've been perfect enough." And I know that these thoughts will continue to invade my thinking-space, because I know we'll always put each other and this love we're cultivating before any earthly thing.

And each time you see me post a HAPPYSIGH, you'll know that he is solely responsible for my new home called Cloud Ten.


Thursday, January 27, 2011

** 106 Days

YAY! We have our first Guest Blogger of 2011! Read along and provide your input. But most of all- enjoy! And if you'd like to submit your own guest blog, email us at -Sazaran and Nomz

So, can I just take a second to gush about married life? Because I love it. Adore it. Would MARRY married life, it's that good.

Even though I'm still effing up my signature, making the "i" and "t" in my last name nearly the same height; and the first time I verbally introduced myself with my married last name, I literally had to stop for a second to think about what my last name
was— there's not much to complain about.

You'd think after dating 11 years and living in sin for more than half of that, not a lot would change post-
I-do's, but I swear to the stars—there's this completely different glow to everything, like it's all been made new because we're married now. We're legitimately our own little family, writing the newest chapter of our lives with every red-light kiss and mid-week date night, and the mornings we send each other off to work with, "Love you, husband!" "Love you, my wife!"

Our life is this
we burned a CD full of Simon & Garfunkel ("Song for the Aski," "The Only Living Boy in New York," "The Boxer," "America") as our soundtrack to a winter-lit weekend afternoon in Colorado; and our fridge is topped with Fruity Pebbles, a basket full of tea, the lidded glass jar that holds treats for the Faces (our cats), and the empty alcohol bottle from my husband’s bachelor party with the colorful owl print on the back.

The mornings start with iPod serenades, and he randomly calls me in the middle of the day at work just to tell me a story about a customer, or how—Wednesday, actually—he had 200°F+ oil shoot out at him from a truck he was working on, and (I quote) I missed him "screaming like a little girl, then turning around and running face-first into the tire of a truck on the lift next to me. Yeah. I fell. And then screamed some more."

Yesterday morning, he bit my neck, and as I watched the telltale red mark appear in the mirror, he waved it away with, "If anyone asks? Just tell them I went all Team Edward on you."

It's just—married life is comfortable, in the best and truest sense.
It fits us so well. It's pure, and beautiful and exciting, and I'm fully loving every second of it.

106 days I've been married, and since the moment I began to take on the world as a Mrs., I've been asked, "
So, how's the married life?" about as many times as there have been days of it.
& every time, I get my glow on, happily replying with some variation of, "
It's amazing, I love it!"—only to get a knowing chuckle or Look in response, followed by, "I'll ask you again in a year!"

Is that really the magic, unspoken timeline? A year?

Does this newlywed glow—the sparkle I feel when I see my Facebook relationship status as “Married to,” or the cozy feeling of looking at my husband (!!!) snuggled next to me and the Faces tucked in between us, thinking, "This is our family"—does it come with an expiration date?

Are we doomed, 365 pages in, to shed our happiness & joy in favor of matrimonial monotony?

I hear "
I'll ask you again in a year," and wonder why it's such a feat to imagine that, a year from now or even 50, we—not to mention any other pair of newly-minted newlyweds—won't still be just as thrilled to be married.

Why would be any less in love, just because "that's what happens," or because it happened to someone else?

I look at these people who ask about my marriage (
which, for the record? makes me feel oddly adult to say; "my marriage")—these people nearly always being well-meaning, long-married people—and in the space between The Question and their humorless chuckles that follow, I wonder what their marriage is like; what makes them assume I'm just cresting the top of this mountain in my life, admiring the view, so blinded by the glow of my sparkler that I fail to notice a bottomless pit of despair around the next bend?

I saw the same thing when I was planning our wedding, and even now when I talk to newly-sparkled friends; it's so rare to find a former bride who doesn't immediately default to, "GOD, it was so stressful; I'm just glad it's over," when dispensing advice about wedding planning.
On the opposite end, there's me, this radiating ball of joy that wants to know all about people's wedding colors & invitation designs, asking about how the bride-to-be's feeling (
because seriously? no one does this—it's always, "How's the planning going?", never, "How are you doing?") and what style of dress she's dreaming about.

To each their own; I just never understand why, rather than chiming in with something positive, people always go straight for the dark & twisty.

Rationally, it all boils down to the fact that people only can speak to their particular experience, but it begs the question— is everyone really in such a lackluster state that they can't share any enthusiasm, rather than passive-aggressive caution, about being forever entwined with their one, only and always?

It's these people—the ones who tell me, "
I'll ask you again in a year," that I honestly do hope we run into again in the next 365— because a year from now, I know I'm going to have even more of a glow when I tell them how amazing it is that marriage just keeps getting better.
I know now, just like I did at 14, when people "knew" we'd break up as soon as we got to high school; just like I did at 18, when my sociology teacher informed
me that "there's no way we could last after graduation, no matter how happy we were," because he & I were just "too different"; just like I did at 22, when everyone "knew" we could never work things out— I know that our love isn't their love.

They don't know what it's like to live this life of ours; one we've built of barefoot kitchen dances, big dreams about Southern porches & sprawling garages, and the intricacies of having literally grown up together.

One we've peppered with our own vocabulary of words that don't make sense to anyone but us, and spun through with "Wish You Were Here," lakeside ice cream, dusty roads in the middle of summer and I-love-you's every night.

So, yes— ask me again in a year.

Friday, January 21, 2011


Ever notice how absolutely surrounded (pun intended) by boundaries we are? They're everywhere: lines on the road, stop signs, speed limits, gates and fences, aisles, laws. All put in place to remind us of our place. I hated boundaries for a while and I did everything I could to intentionally step over them; proving that no one could control me. Know what I've learned? Boundaries are not a bad thing. They're actually meant to help us and keep us from danger. They're meant to guide us and keep us from regret. Boundaries don't have to be fun, but they will facilitate more fun than violating them will.

I've noticed a few of my own different heart-changes here and there. God has been really working on me (& that whole black and white thing I bragged about) recently. Not that my heart was wrong, but it wasn't right either. I'm totally okay with this kind of change. Anything that works in me a softer heart, bent toward loving others (in Truth) is something I'll surrender to.

Speaking of... I believe with everything that is in me that if someone is seeking Truth (capital T) they will find it. Others? The truth (little t) they're seeking is actually just a new version of comfort- something that will fit their schedule, their opinion, their preference. Truth doesn't make you comfortable; it draws you out of your over-stuffed Lazy-Boy and requires that you use more than just your logic to believe it. It doesn't conform to YOU, YOU conform to it. Which is why it's superior to opinion or preference.

Brokenness is not a gentle sort of thing. It requires a violent dying to self and a desperate thirst for an in-pouring of the Holy Spirit which can only be quenched by unutterable groanings and hours of weeping at the feet of Jesus. Brokenness is kin to suffering and sorrow; one cannot be obtained without the other. Yet, it is a thing of glory. For in it we take on the image of Christ and are able to be made whole… from brokenness.

God cannot be contained in a box. He just can't be. And anyone who tries to put him in a six-sided encasement is ignorant and is probably trying to stuff an idol in there, not the Creator of the Universe. Just sayin'.

The thing from before that I thought was Love? It wasn't really Love. It was self-serving and perverted. Love doesn't seek its own benefit; it doesn't use others to satisfy itself. So then what is the opposite of Love? Some would say Hate and I'd have to agree on that, but I also think that Self is Hate's counterpart and therefore also the opposite of Love. Self's sacrifice is an illusion meant to look, feel and sound like Love. But Self and Love are two entirely different creatures that are easily confused. The things is: when you finally find and act out true Love, you know the difference immediately.

Monday, January 17, 2011

♥I am woman.

I'm the woman that has all the other women wrapped up into one:

The business woman with her goals screwed on straight. Who isn't intimidated by outside forces beyond her control. The woman who grabs life by the you-know-whats and doesn't let go until she gets what she wants. <-- I'm 2% her.

I want to be the homemaker that takes pride in her clean living-room and doesn't mind wearing those new heels while vacuuming the halls. The woman that sees the feminist and pities her for her lack of domestic desire. Her entire world is her family and she lives to feed and dress them well. <--- I'm 10% her.

That 50's housewife gets old. Fast. I want to have the fire, the passion, to burn my bra and proudly walk the streets with squared shoulders and an "I can do anything you can do." attitude. Her strength is envious; her independence is unmatched. <--- I am 8% her.

Then there's Mother Theresa (minus the celibacy). Her focus, her journey, her end result is Christ and reaching out to those who need His love most. The desperate, destitute, and dreary world sees this light shining from her because her source is the Light. Sacrifice and toil are her closest companions. Her ministry is her life is her ministry. <--- I want to be 30% her.

What about the princess? The one who squeals at dirt and dreams of being swept away by a destined knight on a white horse. She replaces every damsel in distress (even the Disney ones) with herself as she imagines being needed and desired enough to be pursued in the right way. <--- I'm 20% her.

I want to be my mother. I want her strengths and her achievements. Her knowledge and her talent are surely to be mine, right? They're in my blood. She is an example unto herself of a woman that I strive to be. She is a real woman with weaknesses that she has to fight against and goals that seems daunting to her at times. Yet she still climbs toward them. She cares for her children and prays for her friends. She has a listening ear and an a compassion that warms the soul. <--- I am 15% her.

Wonder Woman, by my definition, has a week-long meal planned out. Her children's faces are never crusty or dirt-smeared. Her house has an air that draws company and keeps them. Her husband adores her cooking and her friends call to ask for her opinion of household decor. She seems like the 50's housewife... but in all actuality, she's just totally creative and has time to be so. <-- I'm 5% her.

This free spirit doesn't care if her kid's face is dirty, bare feet help him feel the earth, artistic character is developed best in chaos. Every day is an adventure and every discovery is a lesson learned- be it messy or on the edge of danger. Her kisses are untapped and her understanding transcends culture or social skill. She employs abandon and encourages running free. <--- I am 10% her.

“Women are strange and incomprehensible, a device invented by Providence to keep the wit of man well sharpened by constant employment” -Arnold Bennett

“Oh, woman, woman! When to ill thy mind is bent, all Hell contains no fouler fiend” -Homer

“I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.” -Sex and the City quote

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” -Oscar Wilde

“You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her”

Friday, January 7, 2011

stuff you may or may not be interested in.

conflict makes me feel sick.
it takes forever for me to make a decision, but when I do I'm confident enough to stick with it.
i'd totally be a barista again.
i love my dad but can't wait to move out of his house. or there might be a death in the family (of the animal sort).
of all the things i'm most grateful, it's for being allowed to be a mother.
i'm in love.
my pointer finger is double-joined and looks like it has been broken in half.
i wish dream interpreting books actually made sense.
i'm total girl and i frequently over-dress for an occasion.
the "snooze" button must be hit at least four times before i can drag myself out of bed.
"it is so happy to love." <---- first tattoo. for sure.
harry potter > twilight. there, i said it.
in life, i've gone from never speaking my mind to speaking my mind too much to knowing when to speak and what to say. iz good.
it frustrates me when people ask for help and then turn down every offer provided to them.
a recent lesson: God is not a cookie-cutter. He works in everyone according to their own person... and His will of course. but, what He has done for you or has told them is not the same for me.
my baby boy is growing and it astounds me how much he's starting to learn. it also makes me a little sad.
it's going to be an AWESOME year.
when you know... you know.
i'm not going to blog about this love, just yet. give us a little private time to revel in its newness and then you'll hear all about it. i promise. <3
‎"when I question something... i just buy a new outfit." <-- not originally me, still awesome.
my prime thinking time is when i brush my teeth.
i absolutely LOVE being a listening ear for my friends.
talking on the phone is not my thing, but i'll talk to him for hourrrrs.
God wants me to live in washington state, i just know it.

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