Friday, February 27, 2009

♫ Why my three year old has all power.

Once upon a random Thursday:

#1. She has an eye infection. Makes mamma a little weak and sad anyway. When it comes to eye drop time: "Kyanne, let’s put some drops in your eyes". Quickly covers them up with both hands and says "Nooooo they’re already better, they’re already better!!!!!!!!!". "Come on Kyanne, move your hands, it wont hurt I promise"...Kyanne: "Only for chocolate."

#2. Helping mamma cook macaroni. Scrambles under the counter to get the pot holder (because everyone should require the assistance of pot holders for all macaroni cooking. New rule.)...we get in a pot holder war. You know Like pillows, only not. Mamma: hits Kyanne with pot holder across the side of her head. Kyanne "mamma! You think you’re tough stuff?!??!"

#3. Playing with her favorite aunt on my comfy green chair. Whoa. Back up the truck. First...the girl accessorizes. And therefore notices when others do. My sister was in the room for a whole three seconds before she says "OOooooh you gotta new purse!!!!!, wannnnt some macaroni?!". :} Back to the comfy chair with said sister. "Kyanne, what are you doing?!", Kyanne: "putting my elbow, in your booboo". You get it.

Homeskillets, im so glad this was one doodle that couldn’t be undid. There is something about my angels that I am determined I couldn’t live without. God knew I was doing life outta order, but I think he arranged it that way on purpose. He knew, that come alone time 2009, I would need them to keep me stepping.


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Arrrrg Matey

Pain is a funny thing, isn't it? I mean, some people can handle it really well and others even enjoy it (eww). But, this girl does not like it. And has a very low tolerance for it.

How did I ever give birth?

So, today I was sitting in our recliner and my dear boy, Malachi, was whining to be held. I bent over and began to pick him up. Half way through singing, "Come to my arms my beamish boy!" I heard a pop. And my vision went blurry. Needless to say, I dropped Malachi immediately (don't worry, he was only inches above the ground) and proceeded to collapse, myself.

This sort of pain is weird. Grasp your pointer finger and pull it- see how the joint separates? Well, that funky feeling of the joint being pulled apart is slightly how it felt... only from Hell. And my knee locked into place.

So, we called the ambulance and they took me away. But, not after it took 5 people and about 15 minutes to get me off of the couch and onto the gurney.

ER's are wonderful places aren't they? I waited for two hours before they gave me something to help with the pain. I had to go through x-rays ("Kill me now" was all I could think- they had to turn my knee in three different directions to get good shots) and about three different nurses feeling around to see what had happened.

I love morphine. Sadly, they would only give me one shot in the ER and none to take home. Jerks.

Oh and morphine does affect breast milk. They said that it would make Malachi a little "sedated". Liars. He's more hyper now that we was at his best part of the day! And I'm in a knee immobilizer, which makes me look and walk like a pirate. A wimpy pirate. I don't even have the cool makeup to really make myself feel good about this leg.

Anyway, I'm done whining. Just thought I'd share a little. :)

P.S. Thank you to all the lovely ladies who called, text and/or twittered me to see if I was alright! You three are the best :)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Embarassing moments! They make us who we are :)

This is the worst thing (socially) to happen to me. Ever. Yet, I just love telling the story- call me a glutton for jest.

It was Valentine’s Day, 2001. I was 16 and a senior in high school (yes, you read that right) and my friend-since-before-birth and I decided to go to the high school dance. It was a cruel twist of fate that we arrived overly dressed and, thus, had to go home to change into something a little more… dance-y.

Let me add a little detail here, I was new to the school. Although I’d grown up in the valley, I knew no one because I’d attended private Christian school my whole life.

Amy and I entered the front doors of the school, all hot and 16-like. I thought I looked pretty good in my tightly fitted red cords and black halter-top and I acted like I thought it too. What I didn’t think of was the good ol’ phrase, “Pride comes before a fall.” I remember there were about, ohhh 100 or so people there.

A few of our friends met us there, among whom was a guy named Mac (who later became a professional dancer). About half way into the dance, Mac and I joined up and began showing off our dance moves. You named it, we tried it. Including The Candlestick. Anyone seen Swing Kids? You know that whole string of tricks where the guy picks up the girl, throws her to one hip, then the next, then she does this reverse piggy-back thing and finally slides threw his legs and come up on the other side with a really cool twist? Yeah, we did that. It was a ton of fun and (for having no dancing experience before then) we pulled it off pretty well.

Fate decided to have some fun. A dance circle formed. Mac urged me into the middle to do our thang. It began rather well. Looking back on it, I know I should have tucked body parts in just a little more than I did. But, you know, Hind’s Sight is 20/20.

So we’re dancing; I jump up, swing to one side. The other. The reverse piggy back thing and back to slide down to the ground.

I heard everyone gasp before I heard the back of my head smack against the concrete cafeteria floor. Honestly, I didn’t feel it.

That’s not the worst part.

The worst part is that when I was sliding back down to the ground (before/as I hit my head) Mac’s thumbs had become tucked underneath my top. Yup, you guessed it. He pulled my top up and (almost) over my head as I went down.

I don’t remember much after that. But, that’s not the worst part.

About a week later, I was hanging out with a ton of my new school friends when this random guy walked over to me. He said, “Do I know you?” I replied that he did not, because I was new.

With his finger on his chin he thought, “No, I do know you. You’re the girl who was dropped on her head at the Valentine’s Dance!”

End of story.



The Bathroom Hallelujah Party!

So there I was…my third trip to the bathroom since 8am. At work.

Im normally an observant (shoe peeker) person, but when you’re in a rush, you just gotta get there you know? So there I was...

Ok, back the truck up. Before y’all get any ideas…I was both deprived, protected, and there was not a chance in the world, no possibility what-so-ever that I was. But after having two WHILE being protected (and not deprived), it’s just natural to have a little party, once a month, every time…even when there is no chance. You know, almost a “thank you God for letting me be deprived” dance.

So anyway. There I was. And for whatever reason, probably the high amount of caffeine that morning, I got a bit over excited, and actually said “Hallelujah”. Fairly loudly. In a small, echo-y bathroom. Immediately following, was a joining in celebration by laughter and the flushing of the toilet next door. I quickly pulled up my feet, and hid in the stall until the bathroom was vacant and whoever said female was, was far enough down the hall for me to leave unidentified. Unless she noticed my shoes. You shoe peekers. I know who you are.

Bah! I hate being she-male.



Pssst. I have to share my dad's most embarassing moment, because it is one of the funniest ones I have ever heard!

On the night of his very first date, he pulled up to his girl friend's house in his fancy sports car- flaunting his new tires.

He rang the door bell and was greated by her parents. Like a good little boy, he waited in the living room, making small chat with Ma and Pop. This is the layout of the house, picture it in your mind: living room has big beautiul bay window and faces the flight of stairs that leads to the girl's bedroom.

So, the moment arrives and comes down Miss Pretty in a long, strapless gown (must have been prom or something). As she glides down the stairs, she accidentally steps on her gown and it exposes her jewels.

To divert the attention from his sweety-pie, my dad ever so cooly turns toward the bay window and says, "Look!"- referring to the new tires on his oh-so-cool car. Too bad he didn't look, himself, before he spoke. Instead, he and the girls parents all turned to see two dogs humping outside of the window.

Since we were so humble-like and shared our horrific life's tales, please, do the same! :)

Friday, February 20, 2009

♫ Ah Hem...Is this thing on?

Having a hard time concentrating today. Might be a bad case of the Fridays, might be my head exploding with too many thoughts. Either way, writing is probably the best way to cure both.

More about me. Because Im sure y'all wanna hear me talk more about myself right?

** I get highly stressed when the people around me are stressed. Have you ever gotten a piece of news, or a scary thought, that left you spinning, ears ringing? That's how I get, every time my closest of the close get stressed or upset. So...when I havent heard from my family for a while, my beaute of a BFF is feeling irritated, sad, or upset, my girls are unbalanced and outta routine, or something goes haywire with any of my best of the best, my head spins. This is me, telling you I love you, by the way. You just stress me out! Guess it's only fair, Im sure Im not gentle on the brain either. So thanks, for loving me enough to be stressed out back.

** I got earth-shattering news this week. The lovely lady that watches my girls, can no longer continue doing so. Change is healthy. And I know everything happens for a reason, but oh lordy was that hard to hear. The girls love her SO much. Her family is truly amazing. Im blessed for having her in my life when I did, and I wish her the best. In the mean time...anybody wanna babysit???? If not, pray for me. She's gonna be hard to top.

**. I tend to go through phases...I go from loving the city, to down-home-country girl...and Im headed back to country and fast. Im having horse-withdrawals, country music needs, and swing dancing dreams. :} Country folk, bear with me, I'll be back soon.

** Sazaran and I are about to write a blog about our most embarrassing moments {Her idea, isnt she brilliant?}. Prepare yourselves, this is gonna be good. In the mean time, if you have anything you wanna share, we'd be happy to broadcast yours as well! ;)

** Im developing a new love for bubble baths. My OCD kicks in every time, and I have to take a shower when Im done, but there is something in them that leaves me inspired. And lucky for me, after I wash myself off, that inspiration follows me outta the tub.

** Im getting antsy about a f-ant-sy camera. Im having serious photography withdrawals, and will have one soon. It will be my next know, when I get all caught up and rich. Or when one of my devoted followers donates one, either way.

** Im still trying to figure out what is sexy about vegetables. I see that everywhere...and I just dont get it. Ok, Im not completely outta the loop, I know there's resemblance, and can be used for...stuff. Officially turned off by all things cauliflower though.

** I watched Transformers this week for the first time. Yes, I know, Im behind on the times. Excellent flick. Highly recommend it for all you other behind-on-the-times folk. Im so going to have a little ankle biter named "Mojo" someday.

** Within the next year, I'd like to have a pretty set life plan. Im tired of being a quarter of a century old, with no future. Living on all ends of the spectrum has been quite awesome, but it's time to figure things out.

** I need a new cell phone. For me being so technologically advanced, it's quite pitiful. Accepting donations there too.

** My dogs head got smothered by my two year old the other night for two hours. Not kidding, or exaggerating. I think she thought it was the new form of cuddling, and actually soaked it up like-a sponge. It appeared, neither of them would have rather been in another place.

** Im finally going to start kickboxing. I close encounter, almost friend, cool-curly-haired-co-worker, has inspired me and might allow me to tag along. Something I've wanted to do for years. Look out y'all...all these "empty threats" are about to be made good.

** I cant get enough of social and viral marketing. Im going to get brilliant one of these days and find a way to tie it all in to my horses and get rich. Watch. All I need is a sexy accent and tight pants and I'll make it big, at least, that's what I hear.

Im going to fight the wind, take a walk, and kick this weekend in the pants. Happy Friday y'all.

Yours Truly,

Oh PS-remember to share your embarrassing moment if you want to be famous.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Breast is best

From the moment that little pregnancy test lit up like a string of Christmas lights, I knew that I would breastfeed my son, Malachi.

Today, it is a common choice to skip the "boobottle" and, instead, offer the bottle. While I do not judge any woman who decides rubber over nature (I understand that, sometimes, mommy doesn't have a choice) I do encourage the former. After a little research, this is why:

Benefits for Baby:

-Breast milk is the most complete form of nutrition for infants. A mother's milk has just the right amount of fat, sugar, water, and protein that is needed for a baby's growth and development. Most babies find it easier to digest breast milk than they do formula.
-Premature babies do better when breastfed compared to premature babies who are fed formula.
-Breastfed babies score slightly higher on IQ tests, especially babies who were born pre-maturely.
-The analysis of 14 studies conducted since 1988 found that overall, longer-term breastfeeding was linked to a 24 percent lower risk of acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), the most common form of childhood leukemia. Breastfeeding for 6 months or less appeared to reduce ALL risk by 12 percent.

Benefits for Mama:

-Breastfeeding lowers the risk of breast and ovarian cancers, and possibly the risk of hip fractures and osteoporosis after menopause.
-Breastfeeding can help a mother to bond with her baby. Physical contact is important to newborns and can help them feel more secure, warm and comforted.
-Breastfeeding mothers may have increased self-confidence and feelings of closeness and bonding with their infants.
-Breastfeeding is the best diet, *ever*!! I gained 39lbs during my pregancy, weighing in at 154lbs the week before I gave birth. By the time Malachi was six weeks old, I was down to 121lbs. Thats 33lbs in six weeks!!!

In my own experience, however, I know that breastfeeding does come with its own set of sacrifices which include but are not limited to the following:

-The all-too-familiar engorgement.

-Intense hot flashes.

-The feeling of being turned on. Now, let's all be mature here- nipples were created for more than just nursing.

-Thirst. As if you haven't had a drop of water in days.

-Sore, dry and/or cracked nipples! Ouch!

-Extinct libido. Mommies: if while you're nursing, you feel that your libido has shrunk drastically, don't get discouraged. Breastfeeding and low sex drive often go hand in hand for many reasons. One is: "The hormone prolactin is necessary for milk production in breastfeeding moms. Unfortunately for the woman who wishes for an active sex life, prolactin also lowers the sex drive. Prolactin is an anterior pituitary peptide hormone (I'm quoting this, so I hope I'm not the only one totally lost on that sentence)that begins lactation in new mothers and is needed to maintain breastfeeding." For the longest time, I would (and still do- sorry babe!) recoil at the slighest sexual touch. Am I broken? Will I ever want to be intimate again? My doctor, God bless that woman, assured me that I wasn't and I will. If, in the meantime, you cannot handle your sex-drive dive, you can ask for some estrogen cream and within weeks your love life will be revved up!

I could go on and on (and on) about this subject, but I don't want to bore you. In ending, I would like to give one piece of advice to mommies-to-be, new mommies, or even women who will be mommies in the distant future! When you're at the hospital, ask for a nurse who is a trained lactation consultant or an actual lactation consultant at every feeding. Don't let her leave until you feel that your little one has latched on properly and it feels alright. I did that at the hospital and truly believe that it's what helped avoid any unnecessary discomfort -cough- agony.

In the end, I know all mommies want what's best for their little bundle of joy- whether that is the breast or not. And that's all that counts! :)


P.S. I'd love to hear feedback! Questions, comments, concerns, tips, stories... you get the idea ;)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

♫ First Date Regulations

Ok show of hands...who likes dating??

Nobody does. I enjoy the game...the flirting, the dinners, the excitement of the first few dates, meeting new people, but the actual act of dating? No. No way. The awkwardness, the pressure to look right, sound right, do right. Why we’re so afraid to be ourselves, im not really sure, but you know you put on that extra layer of mascara...even if your personality doesn’t change. Or you pick your favorite jeans, favorite cologne and perfume, prepare for hours...both mentally and physically. Hoping that extra dash of pretty will send sparks flying. But what happens when you get there, and the sparks are absent. How do you make a graceful exit? How do you show that you’re interested without being needy in a scary creepy kind of way? How do you nail yourself a second date, or, lose your phone number?

Here’s my shot in the dark at the first date. Let me know your thoughts!

Online dating is a completely different ball game. Not only do I not have that experience under me to be giving advice, I don’t really want it. I do think it’s an awesome outlet for those that are uncomfortable doing it the old fashioned’s more scary to me than anything, honestly. Anybody do it? Any success? Nightmares?

The "down-home" way:

#1. The first date should be done in a public place. Plenty of chit-chat and flirting can be done harmlessly in a non-threatening environment. In a public place, you can excuse yourself to put on some more pretty, check your phone, text your friends to give you a good exit, or even head for the door, in a graceful, polite, manner. Cooking her dinner is sweet, but not a first-date thing.

#2. Don’t bring anybody along. Not your mom. Not your best bud. Not your kids. Not your dog. It’s intimidating as heck to the other party. It’s just one more person to impress...and you’ll have them glancing at the door and looking for an exit all night. 3rd date. Maybe. When you think they’re ready to meet those that mean the most to you, then do it. Not the first date.

#3. Don’t pick a holiday. Sorry, but Valentine’s Day...CANNOT be a first date. No way. Or any holiday. It’s awkward, not only to you have to apply that extra dose of pretty-but also stress over if gifts are going to be necessary. Pick a normal day of the week even. Thursday’s are the best day of the week in my opinion. Less crowds in the restaurants, less love oozing out of your surroundings because it’s not a typical date night.

#4. Gents-go above and beyond. As much as we like to be treated as equals, we love to be spoiled from the beginning, and that old fashioned courting business will have us melting like butter. Bring flowers. Have the whole night planned so we don’t have to make a decision. OPEN HER DOOR. That’s huge.

#5. Be original. We don’t want to hear the same story on every date. And (here’s a secret about us women), we like to talk about ourselves. So,whether you’re interested in something long term or not, ask a lot of questions about her. Women, this goes to you too, if they ask a question, reciprocate it. That healthy balance starts from the first date.

#6. Call us. Text us. MySpace us. That night. Not in a creepy kind of way, just "I had a lot of fun, you were amazing, I’ll give you a call soon". A basic-had a good time, hope to see you again sometime. Then...the trick...wait at least three days. Maybe even a week. It’ll keep us curious, and you wont appear stalker-ish. If she doesn’t answer or call you back, try once more to show some persistence, then drop it. Granted it’s rude not to be honest, but take a ‘no’ when you see one.

#7. Women. If you’re interested, flirt like mad. Not in that over-the-top giddy giggly girl fashion, but in a wink as you’re leaving the table, touch his hand when he makes you laugh, compliment him (whether he admits it or not, he put on his best pretty for this show too), boost that ego. You might get some cockiness outta the deal, but it goes deep. Even the most confident men like to hear what you’re noticing. Don’t laugh at everything he says, everybody knows, including him, that he’s not that funny.

#8. In my opinion: don’t talk about a future date until the date is over. If the feelings aren’t reciprocated, it’ll be awkward the rest of the night. If they are, it’ll end the night too soon. Wait until you say goodbye, or surprise her and don’t say a thing (make her think that was it), then send that "you’re amazing, when can I see you again" text.

#9. Be honest. If you hate the food, say you hate the food. If he gives you butterflies, tell him, and vice versa. Takes the pressure off of having to remember girl-catching/guy-catching lines that your friend coached you in to saying. ;)

#10. Don’t go to the movies. Zilch on conversation, and you wont be able to feel them out at all. Go for dinner and dancing, or dinner and the park, or dinner and the zoo, etc. Figure out a little of what she’s in to beforehand and use that to your advantage (and vice versa). If they’re in to photography, tell them a camera is required, take them to the butterfly pavilion or zoo, and get some fun shots together.

Dating is more than tricky, it’s impossible. Nobody does it all right. Nobody is perfect at it. If they were, we’d all be married off to the perfect people by now. There are entirely too many single fools out there willing and ready to spoil you rotten, and share a night of awkwardness and excitement with you. And getting turned down, is natural. Don’t take it personally, it just means that the chemistry and magic wasn’t there for one or both of you. Even if she’s the girl of your dreams, if she’s not sharing you dream, do you really want to be with her? Oh yeah, and vice versa ladies.


Monday, February 16, 2009

♫ Crazy, Tragic, Sometimes Almost Magic

Thing we call life. Sometimes I wonder, if I have any control over my life, or if no matter what choices I make, if my life lives for me.

To my friends:

You never cease to amaze me. You’ve stood strong in my storms. You’ve loved me when im not too lovable. You’ve encouraged me more than you’ll ever know. If y’all were trees, Id be lost in the deepest, tallest, strongest forest (you know, like the Harry Potter-style trees) ever. Thank God for you.

You should know though, that Im tired. Im tired of watching you throw yourselves in front of large, dramatic, life and emotion-crushing buses. I gently peel you off the street after the bus has done its damage, and then watch you do it again. Don’t get me wrong, I love feeling heroine-like, Im just tired of watching it happen again and again. So, to those of you that know of whom im speaking, I will always be your shovel, I just wish you’d learn which snakes bite, and which ones you are safe to play with. Which buses have better drivers, and which ones have drivers that will never treat you as you’re dreaming. Know that I am far from complaining, im just quite ready to see you find the happiness you deserve. It’s frustrating that life keeps dealing you crap. And im sorry that I cant do more, more than hold a shovel.

To my girls:

Thank you for putting a little dose of sunshine in my blizzard-y life. There is something about the way you are growing up that makes me wish I was more like you, instead of the other way around. Innocent. Fresh. Brave. Honest. Never change. Leyna, ever time you hear a song you recognize, please never stop saying “turn it on mom, a big one!” (translation: crank it up!). And that look you gave me from across the table the other night, will work only until you’re a teenager little girl. I will only melt like butter for a few more years. Kyanne. My Kyanne, you’re my rock these days. There is something about her crooked smile, flirty eyes, and bravery for all things cold and scary, encourages me to be stronger. Tells me that Im doing the right thing. I will fight for your best until there is no fight left in me.

To my weekend:

Thank you. Thank for letting me pretend to be millions of miles away from civilization and reality. Thank you for the feeling of refuge, the quality time, and for opening my eyes to what is right in front of me. Dear fire, you could not have been warmer all stoked and warm, and cinnamon smelling. House, you could not be much cleaner. And food, you could not have tasted better. Laughter, love, security filled my little doll house this weekend. “Home” finally feels like “home”.

To my toasted marshmallow coffee:

You’re fabulous. Monday just wouldn’t be the same without you. In fact, Monday wouldn’t happen at all.

To my future:

Here I come! You think you’re ready? Yes, I have big plans for you. And soon. You and I will have a blast together…and probably many blunders as well. It seems that you and I like to do things the hardest way possible, but Im ready to get started. Ready to give you another shot. Full force, dream-finding times are coming at us and fast. It’s all set in stone in my head, and you have no choice but to cooperate. Throw wrenches all you want, but we’ll work it out. We always do. I’ll just keep those wrenches in my pocket, they eventually become more and more useful anyway. Big plans, my friend. Big plans. Prepare yourself, and help me out a little would ya?

To my readers:

One of my latest "songs" that blew up outta my heart a while ago...thought I'd share it with ya:

High Heels and Broken Dreams

Putting on an image in front of her crowd

She smiles through the tears as she takes another bow

Defining herself on their reaction to her song

She’ll take another step, she’ll keep moving on

Her dreams only taking her so far

Her half hearted will is short in reach

Afraid to leap, for fear of falling

Longing for a hand, without one she is weak


Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

On high heels and broken dreams

Perfect on the outside, envy going deep

Constantly toeing over the line,

Forever a fear of that leap

Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

Riding hard on high heels and broken dreams

Standing tall but crumbling hard

Her journey takes a turn

The emotions she buries deep really start to burn

Constant hot explosions

Burn bridges of love and foundation

Needing to hear applause, craving adoration


Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

On high heels and broken dreams

Perfect on the outside, envy going deep

Constantly toeing over the line,

Forever a fear of that leap

Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

Riding hard on high heels and broken dreams


Angel kick those shoes

Let your dreams soar

It’s time to stop desiring

It’s time for you to adore

You’re beautiful, you’re perfect

Let the image fail, you have to see yourself

You have to remove the veil

Angel look in the mirror, catch site of the real you

Kick those shoes, find your dreams

Barefoot, Life renewed


Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

On high heels and broken dreams

Perfect on the outside, envy going deep

Constantly toeing over the line,

Forever a fear of that leap

Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

Riding hard on high heels and broken dreams

With Love,


Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Abortion Epidemic

This post is not mine. It is a Philosophy paper written by a friend that I have very much admired since I was a pre-teen. I agree with her 100% and would like to share with you her words:

The Abortion Epidemic

The word epidemic has several meanings. In the adjective form, it means “excessively prevalent.” As a noun, it is defined as “an outbreak of sudden rapid growth or development” which usually carries with it a negative connotation. One can hardly argue that since the infamous case of Roe vs. Wade in 1973, abortion has mercilessly extended its arm to all four corners of the world. The act is reckless, irresponsible, and many times comes with grievous consequences. But, is it immoral? While valid arguments in support or opposition to abortion are infinite, in this paper I will show that it is not only ethically wrong, but it may be the most unnatural and catastrophic freedom that humanity has ever adopted.
Some might ask “how can abortion be called a sudden outbreak when it has been practiced throughout history?” This is true. In fact, documents exist from ancient Greece until the mid-twentieth century that have made mention of women who procured abortions through ghastly means. (Wernow, 2008). Until the arrival of antibiotics, many attempted abortions ended in death for the fetus and the mother. Women were given a concoction of herbs or drugs that were, at times, too toxic to endure. Also, women who tried to have the fetus surgically removed often died from infection or hemorrhaging to death. (Luker, 2005). As long as there have been ways to abort, there have been arguments about its morality.
But what makes something immoral or moral, and who makes that decision ultimately? To truly determine the morality of abortion, one does not need to turn to faith. Though the Bible contains scattered scriptures about fruitfulness and reproduction, it does not mention abortion directly. This is hardly a valid point concerning Biblical standards of abortion since the book is not specific about many ethical issues, such as: birth control, suicide, and euthanasia. However, because of my faith in Christ, (regardless of what modern scientists are teaching in schools), I would be doing this paper a disservice by failing to cite the book upon which our country was supposedly built. Psalm 139: 13-16 reads:
“[13] For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. [14] I will praise thee; for I am fearfully [and] wonderfully made: marvelous [are] thy works; and [that] my soul knoweth right well. [15] My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, [and] curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. [16] Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all [my members] were written, [which] in continuance were fashioned, when [as yet there was] none of them.” (KJV)
This passage suggests that God is very involved in the development of a baby in utero, and that He sees that baby as a person whom He knows and protects. Unfortunately, the standards of men that differentiate between person and thing are not as black and white.The real question is not about whether killing a person is moral. Christian or not, most people would attest to “thou shalt not murder,” as found in the book of Exodus. The heart of the matter is whether a completely inept and dependent being, such as a fetus, should be given agency. After all, it is totally incapable of rational thought or contributing to any type of mutual aid system. Is a fetus an agent, or is it expendable at the discretion of a possibly unwilling mother? If we are making the decision based on these questions alone, then the answer would be no. A baby who is still developing inside a woman is not a valuable and giving member of society, at least not yet. If given the chance, the fetus would inevitably be some day, and that makes all the difference.
There has to be something said for the potential of a fetus to be a breathing, critically thinking, and capable individual at some point in time. It is inescapable that an uninterrupted pregnancy will result in a child, who makes the normal transitions from teen, to adult, to elder, save of course, an early death. This goes beyond women’s rights, because when a child is conceived, it’s potential for normal humanity must be afforded rights of its own. Let us say that it is not. Let us say that because the fetus is unable to communicate or be self-sufficient that it cannot be granted agency. If that is just, and should be a universal law, then let us examine what we would be capable of if we spread this law across the board of all humanity and that any non-contributing and detrimental being was denied agency. What would happen to our elders, our mentally or physically disabled, and our young infants? If they were judged according to the standards of agency, they would have to be disposed of. They are of no use, and are the burden of resentful parents, children, and caregivers everywhere.
One might say of our nursing home patients that they did their part when they were young and able-bodied, so they deserve to live out their lives until they naturally die. We do not kill them because it seems wrong, and barbaric. Surely we could not stomach tearing their limbs from their bodies, or vacuuming out their insides, or choking them to death with a saline solution. They are large, and it would be messy, and we would hear their screams. No doctor on earth would have the heart to take their lives in such a manner unless he was some sort of a sadist.
Perhaps that is why abortion is so simple, because fetuses are in a quiet place where they cannot try to escape and cannot scream. They cannot make a big mess when they are being torn apart because they have no place to go, they can only endure until their little hearts stop beating. They cannot question as to why this choice has been made for them, their very innocence and inabilities are what make them such an easy target. If a woman were burdened with an unwanted pregnancy, then an abortion would certainly seem to be the path of least resistance at first.
When it comes down to reasons, is that not what it is all about: women’s rights? It seems that the only right afforded to women that is vital anymore is the right to choose. In fact, in What Women Have Lost, abortion is called the “litmus test for the women’s movement.” (Steinfels, 1994). Somehow, the right to be able to do away with their own young is most prevalent on the minds of liberated women. Unfortunately, with the ushering in of the pro-choice movement, men have their own expectations. If a man impregnates a woman, he now knows full well that he can bend her right to choose if he threatens to leave her. A woman may fear that she will lose her lover if she carries to full-term. At all costs, that woman might seek to feed the toxic love of her relationship, (and ultimately her own self-love), by ending the unwanted pregnancy.
If we consider Rawls “veil of ignorance” which not only helps us to have an objective view of justice, but also helps us to empathize with the position of others, we could take it a step further. (Waller, 2009). Let us say that behind the veil, we are about to see who we will become. Now, if we are happy with the prospect of becoming ourselves, we would naturally want to be born and live the life that was assigned to us. What if we had a glimpse of what we might be, but instead of realizing our potential to live, our lives were cut short by abortion. Could we miss what we never really had? Aside from the physical pain of suffering an abortion, would the fact that we were not allowed a chance to begin with seem just? I cannot imagine that it would, and it certainly would not seem to be a fair rule to be governed by.
A big argument is that a fetus has no potential to be a person until the mother decides that she is carrying out her wanted pregnancy, meaning that potential for agency is not granted until that point. However, the process of conception and birth is a natural law that cannot be squelched naturally by free will. Potential to become is not granted by man, it is granted by nature. Just as a flower blooms, we cannot grant it to wilt with our words or convictions. It is in its natural state which cannot be altered without someone plucking it out of the ground and crushing it. Without interruption, the flower would continue to flourish, provided adequate nourishment. Whether the pregnant woman wants to carry on with the pregnancy has been reduced to the inconvenience it brings to her life. No amount of theories or arguments can change that fact.
In Abortion and Kant’s Formula of Universal law, one sentence seems to sum it up. “The most obvious practical reason not to extend the scope of agency to include human fetuses is an interest in the well-being and reproductive freedom of women.” (Denis, 2007, pg.569). It also makes mention of situations in which abortions could be justified. One particular example was a woman becoming pregnant despite her use of birth control. It was her right to kill the fetus because the fetus had not been granted permission to use her body, and it’s occupation of her uterus was therefore immoral. That is quite a lot to attribute to something that is incapable of rational thought, or just a contrived loophole to justify a means to an end.
If we bring Kant’s categorical imperative into the equation, one cannot deny that abortion does not exactly line up with “the golden rule.” (Miller, 2009). Since every person who has ever lived was conceived and birthed, it is a universal rite of passage. Not a single person is exempt. So, if we take such a lackadaisical and destructive attitude toward a stage of inevitable development, and go so far as to deem it inconsequential, are we not also devaluing our very existence? After all, the groundwork for who we are physically is determined by the quality of time spent in our mother’s womb. Are women who terminate unwanted pregnancies refusing to acknowledge the foundation upon which their rights are built? Thirty years from now, they would not call their twenties a lack of agency, but simply a different stage of development.
Should we not extend that opportunity for growth, and perfection as the Bible puts it, to humans at any time in their lives? Of course we should, and we must.
But how would this become accomplished? How can we reverse an epidemic attitude that devalues the fundamental stages of human life? It would require an honest assessment of our passivity. In a world where convenience is key, and consequences are minimalized, we would have to start educating young people about the implications of unprotected sex and a blasé outlook toward intimacy. After all, the problem lies not only in a woman’s choices to care for her unplanned child, but in the people who have an influence all around her. Responsibility lies on the shoulders of the lover who chooses to abandon her, rather than own up to his actions.
It rests on a society that projects and even promotes an unrealistic standard of convenience and pleasure. It rests on physicians who might take their Hippocratic Oath seriously, and see human life for what it is, not what immoral agenda-pushers deem it.In a world abundant with naturalism and hedonism, is there any room for conviction?
Apparently there is, as long as it does not put us out, and as long as it does not have any spiritual undertones. Evolution is taught as a scientific fact throughout the world. If there are no eternal consequences to face for our choices, because we are all here by natural selection, then why would anyone choose to do the moral thing? Actually, what would the need for morals be since it is every man for himself? We have embraced a terrible ethical egoism that is causing us to deny others the rights we are afforded simply because they cannot speak for themselves.
Unfortunately, aside from education and passing morality down through our individual families, I am not confident that there is much that can be done to reverse the direction that the world is headed in. People think that we have evolved and that our capacity for rational thought has given us the right to define life, and to categorize it. Morals that used to be attributed to divine commandments are now considered old fashioned and primitive. In Nazi Germany, Hitler used Darwin’s theory of Eugenics to justify the atrocities that were committed against the Jews. (Bergman, 1999). It is amazing that people of sound mind would reject the methods of Hitler whilst fully embracing the fundamental teachings that influenced his actions. Hitler may have been a radical and a dictator, but his views on the disposability of lesser humans were exactly what make abortions so accessible today.
Every day, women choose to reject the life inside of them through termination of unwanted fetuses, but they do not realize that they are rejecting themselves. They are denying their basic instinct, which is to rear and nurture young, and exchanging it for self-gratification and selfish ambition. Women’s bodies were designed specifically for beauty and birth, and rejection of our nature is a rejection of humanity itself. We have traded what is natural for what seems easy, and for what has become justifiable by blurry definitions. Abortion is the holocaust of the unborn, and unless we teach the people that we have influence over about the immorality of abortion, it will continue to be practiced in epidemic numbers.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Forgive me, but I'm in a bit of a blogging rut with a blogging block tied to my ankles. So, I've decided to let you have a little peak into 25 things that make me, ME! These 25 things are random and a little funny; hey, what better ingredients are there to make a blog?

1. I admit it, I'm done hiding it- I like Britney Spears :)

2. I have at least 25 handbags- it's a fetish for me. I see one and I suddenly cannot live without it.

3. Milk and cereal is probably the single funnest (yes, funnest) song to sing.

4. There's something about the back of a baby's head that reminds me how innocent they are.

5. I've had every hair style you can imagine: red, black, blond; short, long, medium; straight, curly, kinky; layers, all one length, bangs and all mixed and matched.

6. If I could live in any house, it would be a tiny ocean front condo. I would sacrifice storage space for waking up to the sound of waves, any day.

7. I'm 5'2", 110lbs and I have birth to a 9lb 3oz baby boy. Ouch.

8. I absolutely love talking to women about their pregnancies, deliveries and parenting experiences...

9. ... thus my desire to be a labor and delivery nurse.

10. My first spoken word was "pretty".

11. When I get excited about a story I'm telling, I have the bad habit of forcing all of the words out of my mouth at the same time. Usually, the story gets all miscombobulated, I studder and even completely skip entire words. Then, I have to tell the same story all over- slowly.

12. I've traveled to: Africa, England, Germany, Australia, and Hong Kong. Sydney, Australia was by far the most exciting experience ever- I helped direct a play in the Sydney SuperDome!

13. One summer, when I was about 12 years old, I read close to 40 books! No... I was NOT a nerd! ;)

14. I married the boy I had my very first crush on. Awwww.

15. I cannot stand it when people manipulate to get what they want; it's the lowest plan of action possible.

16. There's a rebellious streak that runs though the Kremer blood and a resistance to conform- I definitely inherited it.

17. I wish C.S. Lewis were my grandfather. I would sit and talk with him and ask him questions for hours and hours and hours...

18. I HATE pooping. If I could never poop again in my entire life, I would be totally okay with that.

19. I believe you can never have too many dangling, pretty earings.

20. My favorite show is America's Next Top Model, but I cannot stand Tyra Banks.

21. My biggest fear used to be needles, after being poked about 103 times during and after my pregnancy, I'm not afraid of them anymore.

22. If I could, I would be a baby making machine. Scooby Doo is only 8 months and already I'm having thought of another baby.

23. If I could steal anyone's wardrobe, it would most definitely be Kate Hudson's.

24. I share a birthday with Frank Sinatra and a personality type with Carol Burnett.

25. I don't know why I like mermaids, I just do.

Monday, February 9, 2009

♫ Protest on Valentine's Day

Confession: This girl thinks that Valentine’s Day is the worst holiday ever created, founded, thought of, and celebrated. Not because Im bitter and lonely, but because it’s a lame excuse to spend entirely too much money because you feel like you “have to”.

I’ve never been alone on Valentine’s Day. And im not sure that I’ve ever begged or pleaded for a gift, or even a celebration.

P.S. (weird spot for a PS but I need the guy's attention before I lose it completely). GUYS-if we get bored, you dont get any. Period. Your sex life will continue to diminish as your creativity does. Just FYI.

In my opinion, what happens on Valentine’s Day, a celebration of love, should happen randomly throughout the year, rather than it be a required yearly tradition on one day. The crowds in the restaurants are ridiculous. The jewelry stores go nuts. Girls go crazy. Flower sales go through the roof (really, who spends all those dollars on something that keels over days later?!), etc. Wouldn’t it more sentimental, more sweet, more of a celebration, if the guy came up with it on a day all his own?

Confession: I like flowers. I do not love flowers. I love lily’s, but don’t expect nor want them often. I get so sad when they are done blooming. Someone should make fake flowers that look real, that smell good! Oh…you know, I think they do? But for some reason…mean less?

I think V-Day is an excuse for a woman to get sappy, a man to get in trouble, and businesses to make unnecessary money on dying things. ;)

Done bah-humbugging. I know that most of us don’t have men that think of something randomly throughout the year. But really, if you didn’t remind them, would they remember V-day?! Doubt it. The guys that actually remember the holiday, and actually plan something special, are generally pretty good at planning stuff the rest of the year too (please, please, correct me if im wrong).

If someone is making you feel special because of a holiday, are they really doing it for you? Hmmm…

Instead of the holiday, make up your own between the two of you! Say “love of my life, every odd Thursday of every third month, let’s do dinner and flowers and a football game!”…ok, so all that they’ll remember outta that sentence is “football game”, but the point is, you can make time for each other without society putting a label on it. You can say once a quarter, we’re going out. Plan it in advance, put four reminders in his cell phone, on the mirror in the bathroom and in his car, and make sure he is full of flattery, good scented, and gift in hand (a single flower or small token will do, gents).

Let’s face it ladies, if we want and crave the romance, most of the battle is ours. Learn to take his small gestures are gratefully and celebratory as possible, he’ll keep doing it! ;) And, try to remember that they like to be flattered too! If you go above and beyond to cater to something you know they love and live for, they’ll notice and feel guilty enough to return the favor.

Wanna join me in the protest, or do you really actually enjoy this holiday?

Not much of a romantic myself, but will continue on my quest in finding fun ideas to keep things alive in a relationship:

Fun list of romantic ideas (you can only read these if you add your own):

Get some dry-erase markers. They write all over mirrors well and clean easily. Keep’m by the sink so they’lll remember to use them!

Go for a drive. Crazy how jammin’ out to some good music, sitting in the middle seat (or holding hands across the middle) can rekindle things.

When he’s zoned out in front of the TV/Computer/Video Games, blow in his ear, kiss his neck, wrap him up in you. (note: not every time, you’ll probably push it a bit)

Buy him something you hate, but he loves (or visa versa)!

Get outta town. The same streets and restaurants can keep your romantic life style dryyyyyyy. Rent a cheap hotel in another town for a night and kick it up!

Write a really cheeeezy poem. One that shows your rhymin skillz but getting the point across (Roses are Blue, even tho that aint true, I love you). :}

When you go shopping for your favorite thing, get them something too (your girl may hate sports, but if you get us anything we’ll love it)

Go camping... Forget one sleeping bag!

Go for a walk at night, even if it's a cold night. Good conversation will be had!

Go to a scary movie (don’t make each other suffer through man and chick flicks), scary will keep you both interested, and close. ;)


Friday, February 6, 2009

I heart my camera

(Taken by Sazaran)

Photography has been a passion of mine for a few years now. A few years isn’t much, but it is enough time to allow me to get out there, learn enough about my camera to take decent pictures and appreciate a whole new art form.

I am an artistic person, but I cannot (if my life depended on it) draw, sketch, paint, sculpt or otherwise create a work of art. This is why I love photography. With photography, you are able to take something that is so perfectly created in original beauty and put your spin on it. The material is already there; it’s just up to you to present it in a way no one has seen it before.

I heart my camera.

This, I’ll admit, is a re-blog. I didn’t stumble upon these amazing pictures by myself. But, it doesn’t change how simply awe-struck I am and how much I am inspired to get out there, camera in hand, and take pictures of God’s amazing creation!!

Take a look at the winners of the Windland Smith Rice International Awards 2008 Winners.

Browsing through the winners of 2008, I just absorbed the magnitude of God’s creative power to make something so breath-takingly beautiful. All arguments aside, when you see these pictures, you will be speechless of our Creator.

He is awesome. I think this perfectly describes the pictures above:

Psalm 19

1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
3 There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard. [a]
4 Their voice [b] goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.
7 The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.
10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.
11 By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
12 Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

♫ Ta-Da! Change!

Two quotes inspired me today. Two quotes that I’ve said over and over again, and continue to be inspirational.

"Life is much more manageable when thought of as a scavenger hunt as opposed to a surprise party."

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with yesterdays nonsense."
{ooooh I love me some Emerson}

I find myself putting me, in the wrong pair of shoes, constantly. I tend to listen to those around me, and find a way to not only take on their load, but put myself on the line to fix it or save them. If I could take the whole world and put it on my shoulders, im pretty sure id say yes to that option. If I could save the world from all the absurdities and sadness, I’d take it all. But I cant.

I had a friend come by last night with a load. I mean a load. And it took everything in my power not to take that life, and take it right over. You know, put it on the right back on track. And I had to stop and think, is my way the right way? No. Which is why it’s not my life. All I can do, is help them carry that burden until the load gets a little lighter.

How do you know if you’re doing the right thing when a cliff-edge decision is knocking at your door? You follow your heart. I think, when we lose sight of ourselves, we also lose the ability to follow our hearts and make the right decisions. Either way, once you make a choice, it’s time to live with that choice and move forward. Analyzing it or regretting it, is just going to cause more pain and anguish. Standing in your truth, is never the wrong decision.

Other things going on in my life:

*I’m debating changing my profession. Again. I love my job, probably more than I’ve ever loved a job. I could even see myself doing this forever. The problem though, is when it’s amazing outside, my tom-boy heart pulls my mind away from my desk and says "Get outside!". Debating teaching-at least Id get adult recess and summers off. Too bad only the kids I don’t have the patience for are the only ones that get recess. Until I work through that, I sit behind my desk, grateful for my job, yearning for a desk OUTSIDE!

*Officially addicted to American Idol this season. I’ve always loved the show, but man(!) there is talent this year! I cant wait to see what they do!

*I changed my hair. Big time. I am a brunette with blond highlights. Which ive been told, twice, looks like my natural color. Still trying to figure out how this looks at all natural. Mugshot:

*I am going to start dance classes with my angels. I could use the practice, and their energy most days is would benefit all of us.

*Rediscovering country music. Don’t get me wrong, always been a fan of the old stuff, but I go through phases where I cant stand it...and lately, I’ve just been craving it!

*Looking, desperately, for a good book to read. Something motivational, inspirational, and funny. Any suggestions will be given a reward accordingly.

*Facebook inspired me to write 25 random things about myself. And for those of you that do not visit my facebook, but do know my dog, I should probably share this one tidbit with you: They say dogs are just like their owners. If so, this is utterly embarrassing. I am so sorry for all those laps I’ve overstepped my boundaries with, and my need to be needy.

*I am absolutely devastated (only a temporary state of devastation) that the Cardinals lost the superbowl, and the commercials were so lame. Not a fan of either team, but highly competitive, and my team lost.

*My angels are giving me more joy than ever. Something about my two year old calling me "puppycake" and my three year old getting them both dressed in the morning and dragging her baby sister around the house to show me and say "Ta-Da!" is enough to make getting up worth it.

That’s about it. I’ve gotten long winded and said little. It’s been too long since a blog, I’ll work on that. What does one do with ‘bloggers block’?

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