Sunday, January 31, 2010

♥Mondaaaay 2/01/10

It might be slightly OCD of me, but I really appreciate it when the first day of a month begins on a Monday. It's so... tidy.

I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for information regarding the upcoming spring/summer fashions and this is what I've heard:

*Knee-high socks

*The Boyfriend Blazer

*Jewel tones

See Anna Kendrick (New moon)? I think she is just adorable and she cracked me up as her character, Jessica. Speaking of that wonderful, sparkle-filled movie- I thought it was much better than Twilight. The directing was better, the special effects were nowhere near cheesy like I anticipated and I think the actors are starting to get comfortable in their characters. Yes, I know this little review is about two months late-- I waited until it went to the dollar theatre. Also? I missed all the giggling girlies.

It's apparent you're a parent when: the only music videos and/or songs stuck in your head come from Sesame Street. Good thing they have funny celebrities to make them bearable. Check out Ricky Gervais singing Elmo a lullaby- it cracks me up.

This last Saturday, I spent a fabulous few hours with my gorgeous friend fluttering from one thrift store to another. The day was filled with "traditional" fish and chips, crazy second-hand finds, chocolate, cookie dough, chalk murals and laughter galore. *Happy sigh* I have the most amazing people in my life right now.

There has been a reoccuring theme of people from my past making an encore. Literally, within hours or days of my looking for a certain someone on the wonderful world of Facebook, I will meet said person face to face! For example, while I was in Boise, I looked for my second grade teacher; I couldn't find her so I decided to get groceries instead. While at the store, I.saw.her. It had been at least fifteen years since we last spoke. Then, this Sunday, while shopping I ran into a friend from college- I'd been looking for her just last week! We recognized eachother immediately. I love it when that happens. It's like God waits until I try to search for someone and then says, "Watch this, I'm better than Facebook." It pretty much rocks my world.

And for a Random Monday finale, check out a few ManBabies.

Friday, January 29, 2010

♥Good Advice

While I'm reading a book, everything that I come across in life which in any way, no matter how contrite, will catch my attention. Almost always, I find parallels and similarities in my own life with said story. Does anyone else do that? I guess it's to be expected: when you spend time consumed in anything, it becomes and entwined thing.

So, yeah, Harry Potter has sneaked right into my subconscious. I'm taking the advice he received from those around him and I'm applying it to my life.

"Really, Hagrid, if you are holding out for universal popularity, I'm afraid you will be in this cabin for a very long time." -Dumbledore
There will always be that person- the one who sniggers at your mistake, the one-upper, the fire spreader... life wouldn't be the same without them, though, would it? They are the ones who teach us (remind us) to be confident, patient, kind.

"I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind... At these times... I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure." -Dumbledore
What I wouldn't give to have one of these little treaures. Blogging would be a piece.of.cake. Communication would be fun! And most of all, I would be able to figure myself out.

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it." -Dumbledore
Dear Sarah, feel the pain for a little while. Soon, it shall fade and in it's place you will find a the beauty of happiness and in the future, it will be recognizable in any storm or dark area.

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -Sirus Black
I shall amend this, just a bit. I'd like to replace inferior and equal with friends and enemies.

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." -Dumbledore

Thursday, January 28, 2010

♥I'm a Barbie Girl

Plastic Surgery. Tis the subject of this silly, not-heartfelt blog. I see some of these celebrities *cough* Heidi *cough* and I feel so sorry for them: insecurity runs amok. So amok that they change their entire look?!

There are some that look better after they have had a little done- the key being little. I must admit, I would like to have a tummy tuck someday. After the last baby has been had. And believe you me, when they invent leg extensions I

Would you do it?? What would you do??

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

♫ Random Monday-1/25/10

Yes, I know it’s not Monday. Or the 25th. But it feels like it. I took a four day weekend, and this Wednesday, is my Monday.

*I keep reminding myself that I can learn from others poor choices, rather than being spiteful towards them.

*Someday, when my girls are like 7 (please don’t remind me that the age of 7 is not far away.), I’m making them be Girl Scouts, just for my cookie needs. Om nom nom nom. <- - see that? All the Samoya’s just disappeared.

*I gave the blog a makeover this morning, like it? I do. The snow is still there because I have no idea where Sarah hid her brilliance, but it’s mostly invisible, and we’re actually just trying to give you a blog-inducing coma.

*I love the Vikings. It’s in my blood, to love the Minnesota Vikings. I’ve been raised around the hollering at every game, the ridiculous outfits to mark us as huge fans, example below (my dad, little brother, cousin, and uncle). I have heard the football talk around the dinner table. I’ve been to one game at the metrodome and will never, ever forget it. Admittedly, I just really got in to football this year. Even more of a confession, I blame it on Brandon. And not because he’s a fanatic, or forces me to listen to sports radio, but because he actually gets me involved. He teaches me the little things by dragging me through Madden on the Xbox and demonstrating HOW to make Football happen... making me choose my own plays, players, etc. Now that I’ve got technique down, the game is actually quite fascinating. Also? The Vikings game this weekend? Had me in a rage. If you can’t handle a little of overtime ref’s? Choose a different career.

*My friends have me in a fierce mind battle between going near-black dark, or auburn. Because, again, I’m craving a hair change. Thoughts?

*Funny how once the self destruct button is pushed in a person’s brain, they have a strange inability to turn it off. And they are the only ones that have control over that button, so stop trying to unpush it for them, mmmkay?

*My W2 landed on my desk while I played “On Vacation” and I’m completely stoked to get my taxes done this year.

*Age has no bearing on manners. If you’re 28, or 41, or 68 or whatever…saying “Thank You” is a nice gesture, and staying away from certain subjects is appropriate. Just sayin’. I know some words are trendy, like “like” for example, “Thank You”, isn’t one of those trendy things.

*Very few people have the guts to cross me pre-coffee. Kudos to the cube-mate across the way. High fives, even. AFTER MY COFFEE

*Three blogs I want you to check out when you’re feeling blog-needy:

Reese blogged about tricky, tricky restaurants, and how to eat healthier at them: Finding Reese

A friend’s, friend has an interesting eye for photography: Lately Hardly

My sister just started her own blog. Give her some love, and check out her dailyish health tips! She’ll ruin things like sweet tea FOREVER. Frolicking Frenzy

*Quote: “Expectation that’s not followed by action is not expectation… it’s just hoping; and hoping has never achieved very much.”

*Song (amazing lyrics):

Lady Antebellum: Ready to Love Again

*My girls get to play mastics tonight. I can’t wait.

Yours Truly,

Monday, January 25, 2010


I'm on the fourth book of Harry Potter (and the Goblet of Fire) and I love it. I love the series as a whole, so far. My most favorite thing is to get lost in the creativity and imagination of it all. I wish I could write like that. The question that keeps coming up in my mind is: "Should Christians be drawn to witchcraft and wizardry?" I think it depends all on one's convictions. Kind of like alcohol. Drinking alcohol is not a sin- but the Bible does instruct us "do not be drunk with wine". Perhaps, it is alright for me to read a fictional story about magic (specifically, good versus evil) but I would never actually begin to pursue spells or things of those nature. I'll leave the door of my heart open to conviction, however.

Hinging on the subject of Scar Boy, I shall bring Dumbledore forward as an example. Recently, I've felt the need for self-examination. It's healthy to put yourself under the microscope every once in a while, be subject to tactful criticism, and see the things that need to be changed. For me, I think I need to work on a word softly spoken. While reading I see that J.K. Rowling has made Dumbledore's character to be one that offsets wrath- his every word is carefully chosen and always soft- no matter to whom he is speaking or what charge is brought against him. Now, I have seen the movie, so I know that he can be a fireball when he wants to- which is key for me in this learning. I don't want to lose my passion.

Often, as you have seen in past posts, my opinions/convictions are somewhat black and white. Also, I do share my feelings openly; meaning, that I have no problem wearing my heart on my sleeve- even set it on fire a few times. The result is that people get burned. I don't want to burn people. I want to love people. Can you imagine how many people Jesus offended? But, also, I think He was probably like Dumbledore in that he was a great listener, softly spoken (but with conviction, I need to find that balance) and when need-be, He was forceful. Again, I need to find that balance.

Mother Theresa I will never be. There are things that I am passionate about, so passionate that I have determined to never be blasé when it comes to them: Christ as my Savior and Malachi.

So, bear with me while I aim at being quick to listen, slow to speak. I'm bound to slip up here and there... but it's all apart of the lesson-learning. And streeeetch.

Friday, January 22, 2010

♫ What If....?

What if you have bad days, all to serve the purpose of making good days possible?

What if things only go wrong, so you really can get the most value, and appreciate things when they’re right?

What if you go through slumps of creativity, just to give it rest for new bursts?

What if the reason for darkness, is to see the light? Or the light, to feel the darkness?

What if things like war, and slavery, and abortion never existed? Would we appreciate freedom? Would we appreciate our ability to have children? Some species don’t get either.

What if people get sick, not because God is angry, but because he can’t wait to bring them home? And, as a benefit, make the people around them realize how much value they give to their lives?

What if we didn’t have the emotion of hate? Or lust, or greed? Would we understand and be able to feel love?

Just some things to think about.

Yours Truly,

What If by Coldplay

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

♫ All that junk…or lack thereof.

We’ve blogged about exercise countless times. We’ve had ghost blogs. We’ve talked about how much we hate it. We’ve talked about our goals. And we’ve talked about the benefits. We’ve had blogs on soda pop, weight loss, eating right, etc. All those blogs were written by other people. I thought I’d give it a shot, too. A fact-less, thoughtful blog on the going-on’s in my head these days about my own body.

Two kids later, and living in my mid-twenties, it’s fair to say that my body isn’t nearly as excited to bounce back from carrying two kids. Or eating out. Or eating whatever. It’s a strange feeling, the first time you realize that your body is changing with a little bit of age and life experience, whether you like it or not.

Things that happen before you realize it’s happening:

#1. The Gut

It doesn’t have to be large, and hanging over, and gross. It happens when you’re chilling in your pj’s…those adorable Victoria Secret sweats you love so dearly, and your cutesy tight tank top, reading a book. You oh, so gracefully, pull your knees up to your chest to get enthralled in another Dear Edward… book, and realize that there is a bit of extra skin in your midsection that is killing your romance novel. Completely distracted now, you remind yourself you ate a little extra today, get off the bed, do 20 extra sit-ups, because that usually flattens it right back out, and climb back up, satisfied. Pat yourself on the back, you’ve done it again. But wait…

They aren’t bouncing back to flat.

#2. After heating something heavy, you’re heavy.

Odd how much longer that full feeling from overeating sticks around as you get a bit older. I used to be able to eat everything in the house, then join my friends on a Sonic-run, and not miss a beat. Now, not only am I uncomfortable for hoursssssss, I look it.

Curse you, age.

Here’s the deal. I’m not overweight. In fact, when my kids were sick I took them to the doctor, and, admittedly, checked out the weight chart on the back of the door. I’m average. I look fine. I’m not old enough to gripe about my age making things sag, or my skin wrinkling. Just the fact that my metabolism is seriously slowing down, and that I don’t really appreciate it much. My goal, by April, for two reasons, is to tone. I will eat better, lose a bit of weight, and find my abs. I mean it. I’m….squishy. I found out today that I can switch my gym membership to a place that is kid-friendly, and it gave me motivation.

I’m curious, though, mid-twenty folks…what, besides special kinds of diets, are your favorite work out routines? I’m particularly interested in those with kids. How do you dig up more time and more energy, for exercise?

Yours Truly,

**Trials and Tribulations: Pets and their quirks

Please read our latest Guest Blog, and let them know what you think on this topic! ~Nomz and Sazaran

So lately I have been toying with the idea of blogging about hilarious moments of life… ya know…the ones that might make you really mad at first but end up making you laugh later. Well I gave in to the temptation and here I am telling you about them.

First I would like to start off by explaining a little bit about myself… a few months ago I lived with my favorite cousin…Cara, in a quaint two bedroom apartment. Pet free I might add. I enjoyed the luxuries of wine, karaoke, girl’s nights out, shopping, and being wooed by my “then boyfriend”.

Sooner than later my “then boyfriend” became my “now husband” and I moved from that apartment (which did smell somewhat like old taco meet in the lobby) into a 3 bedroom home in the country… with the husband came one dog named Frank and three cats named Fatso, Skinno, and JC (which was short for just-cat). With all this change going on I was gaining a lot more responsibility. I swapped renting for owning… (trials and tribulations of that journey will be another day, another blog) and I gave up some luxuries for the additional furry family members.

Do note that I am a true animal lover, but like all animal lovers we still get frustrated with our pets. Like me, the cats had a change of their own. They went from being inside pets to outside pets. JC was fairly well adapted to the change since he came to us as a stray in the first place… but Fatso and Skinno were not very happy with the barn as their new home. So as an act of rebellion… they began running into the sliding glass door. I’m not talking about a little “thump” here and there… I’m talking about a “WHAM”… kind of like the sound a bird makes when it flies into a picture window. These cats are crazy. Not only are they throwing their bodies against the glass door but they are climbing up the side of the house trying to peek in the windows. I thought maybe they would give up after a while… but no. It’s been three months.. and I’m starting to get used to the noise.

Second offender: Frank – the dog. Frank is a one of a kind shar pei hound mix. When I say one of a kind I am not talking about his breed. I’m talking about his personality. When I first met Frank he would find anything of mine and lay on it. If I had a hair tie on the floor he would try and curl up with it. Kind of cute, I thought…at first. I now sometimes refer to Frank as my evil step child. Because when both of his owners are away and he has the house to his own during the day… he gets mischievous. So mischievous that I’ve actually thought about setting up a camera and streaming it live to the internet just so I can watch him during the day and yell at him before he does something naughty. That hasn’t happened yet, but it is a serious possibility.

His first offence is theft: Theft of anything left within reaching distance. This dog will pull flat silverware out of bottom of the kitchen sink, tupperware lids, pots, pans and even a butcher knife just so he can pile them in the living room. The hilarious part is nothing is damaged or chewed on. He has even pulled a box of crackers off the counter and was kind enough to not chew through the box to get to them. Instead he added it to his pile of goodies just to watch me put it all back when I get home.

Second offence is breaking and entering: The hound in Frank runs his nose. This dog can smell something yummy from a mile away. This leads him to our trash can, the butter dish, the hot chocolate, and lastly my precious coffee (which is a double crime). We replaced our trash can with what we thought to be “dog proof” because it is a thick, heavy, square trash and what we thought to be very unlikely tipped over. We were wrong. If there are too many smelly things in there, then our oversized dog finds a way to get to them. One equation: Dog + a stick of butter= Diarrhea. Not ok. However, I do believe franks favorite is the hot chocolate, because he has eaten a whole canister more than once. By the time I get home he is sitting on his favorite couch and has a look on his face that is the same as the “cat who ate the canary” and a huge ring of chocolate on his nose. As much as I hate to admit it… it makes me laugh every time. The day he got my coffee was the day I was going to beat him… however I found it interesting that he was able to get the huge can off of the counter, into the living room, and remove the lid without spilling any, without ruining anything, and without actually eating any. It’s as if he left it there for the aroma.

Third offence of maliciously destroying property: This includes, but is not limited to, constant burying of dog food into the carpet. I believe the carpet is the victim in this case. Moving can be a very busy time for everyone, pets included. During our move and renovation of our new house we had to keep our “lil monster“ in one of the extra rooms so that he wouldn’t destroy the house or the new paint with his wagging tail. I firmly believe this was a HUGE mistake on our part. Lesson number 1: don’t shut dog in a room with no view or sharp objects. In explanation; while trying to bury his food, Frank, cut the end of his nose on a piece of workout equipment lying on the carpet and instead of stopping and assessing the situation of his bloody nose, Frank, continued his food hiding process. This in turn left a 4x4 foot area of carpet covered in blood streaks. Next, feeling abandoned, Frank wanted out so bad that he tore up the carpet in front of the door in a 2x2 foot area. Needless to say… the carpet needs to be replaced quite badly.
As frustrating as it is, I still find it amusing. This giant disaster of a dog is probably one of my favourites, especially since he keeps me company and makes me feel safe while the husband is away. He may be big, awkward, and a lover of hot chocolate but he knows how to cuddle, and how to protect. I will say that the one command he knows best is “Out of the kitchen!!”. Haha.

As much fun as it was to have that single-girly-life, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m sure you understand why I wouldn’t want to give it up. Being that I’m happily married and all…… plus it makes for great stories.
With the new addition to our family, a Rooster we have yet to name, whom came to us from my Sister in law who is an animal control officer (She caught him running round the city pestering old ladies). You could guess that there will be plenty more “trying moments” to come and with that comes more blogs. Till next time, stay strong and I hope we all find humour in the moments that piss us off.


Monday, January 18, 2010

♫ Random Monday-1/18/10

It’s that time again. That time of the week that comes around every single week. That whole Monday…thing. I hate Mondays. Honestly though? I really look forward to writing my random Monday ramblings.

It’s gonna be a fast one today, I think.

*Monday, for some reason, is always the time that I start new goals. This week, I am going to work out four times, on my living room floor, and begin my quest to find my abs again. They’re under there somewhere, I just know it.

*I had a fantastic weekend, I think you should know. If I were a toddler, it would have been hog heaven, whatever that means. We played dinner with our favorite couple, shopping for Tootie, sleepover with the Michelle/Lily combo, while Brandon and I played Lacrosse with his fabulous family (by played, I mean watched others play…). Then breakfast with our other favorite couple, then a birthday party with the best kind of friends, and we played ”Let’s get rid of bunnies and get fish instead!”, which happens to be a stellar game!

*When my toddlers turn 20-ish? They’re getting chained to their beds until they’re 30. End of story.

*Pudding flavored yogurt, is a-maz-ing.

*Rock <- - - Me - - ->Hard Place. In a lot of ways. And I’m getting really good at it. In fact, I might just plant flowers right here in my spot and watch things grow all on their own. Good plan, self.

*My toddlers are pills. Literally. Two little results of failed pills. Recipe for awesomely cute kids must include some form of birth control, I’ve decided.

*More on birth control things: Did you know that Passions Party’s make belts for condoms? Dudes, I am so, so, so very sorry. OUCH.

*Green tea is my new daily routine. Not instead of coffee, as long as it happens every day, I’m happy. Especially the Yogi kind with magical aftertastes. It helps reduce radicals, the free kind of radicals even.

*Cellulite is gross.

*I will never fully understand all those weird fighting clubs that are all over TV now, but Eric Bischoff rocks in person, and John Cena is sooooo very much attractive. I mean LOOK at this dude:

*What’s a blog without a song, quote, and picture?

Two of my favorite girls, and me, this summer, with foliage.


WOW, Lady A. Keep rockin' it.


Read Sarah's blog from today to get a whole pile of awesome words: Love

Yours Truly,

♥ L-O-V-E

Photo by Sazaran

There are many kinds of love. The love of another that one would die for; the love for something so pure and innocent as a little child on the lap of his mother or the puppy whose every body part wags with excitement at the sight of his master; the love and honor for a parent or leader; love for memories; love for food.... the list goes on.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” -C.S. Lewis

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” -Maurie Schwartz

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” -Mother Theresa

“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
(One thing I have noticed about said family love is that it truly is like wallpaper- it lasts forever. If you try to peel it away, it doesn't work. You can paint over it but everytime those layers are removed, the wallpaper reveals itself with a little "ah-ha". Family love really is the same.)

“Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserved; it is life's undress rehearsal, its backroom, its dressing room, from which we go forth to more careful and guarded intercourse, leaving behind...cast-off and everyday clothing.” -Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

In reading and perusing these fabulous quotes, I began to think about Valentine's Day. Ugh. Then, a new thought came flying into the room and crashed into my head: I am not without love. I may not have the kind of love I want right now, but I am completely surrounded by the rich, ripe fruit of l.o.v.e. Christ's unfailing, heavy yet lightly-burdened, all-encompassing and sweet smelling love will always be with me. I have parents who love and support me, friends who uplift and cherish me, a son who makes it a point to give me dozens of kisses a day and others to continue to believe in me. I am one blessed lady. And I looooove you all back! One last quote to act as the heart shaped cherry on top of the heart shaped cupcake:

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around." - Love Actually.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

To Help Haiti

The below post was provided by Sazaran's Aunt via Facebook. It's darn good advice and we encourage you to spread it near and far. As always, our prayers are going out to the people of Haiti in this time of great need. ~ Nomz & Sazaran

Word of caution: heard from a friend today who is pretty high up in Project Hope. Although Haiti needs a tremendous amount of help, his suggestion was to go through an established organization to assist in country. They have found a number of people are showing up from around the world that are part of different organizations such as fire departments, churches, hospitals, etc. And even though the help is greatly needed and appreciated, it is placing a huge burden on what little infrastructure is in place. Workers are finding themselves in dangerous situations, no lodging, no food and water, and they then are having to call upon the Red Cross, Project Hope, Doctors W/o Borders and other organizations to help them. He said if you come with an organization who does not routinely do relief/ disaster work--come prepared for the absolute worst. You may find yourself stuck in Haiti much longer than you anticipated, eating very little food, having very little to drink, and being exposed to very dangerous social situations. It is imperative that your travel group have strong security measures in place. Although the help is needed, he suggested you contact the Red Cross or Project Hope on-line to investigate organizations within your state that have measures in place that allow those who wish to go to Haiti and help the means to do so in a safe and effective way. You like me just know if we can get there we can help in some way, but good Samaritans are beginning to be more of a burden than a help--and everyone is way too stretched to stop and listen to their plight.

To help, contact the following organizations:

Project HOPE

Red Cross

CBN/ 700 Club

Friday, January 15, 2010

♫Striking a Match

I’m out of blogging material, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I only want to light fires lately. Normally, I love to put them out. So, in order to get my blog back on, I need to get some things off my chest, light a match, and watch things burn.

There is something about the heat of a fire. An actual fire, mind you. But unless you change positions when you’re standing around that fire, half of you gets cold.

Lesson: If you don’t rotate yourself around life’s fires, half of you will get cold. I’ve got to get a different perspective on some of this. To some of you, it’s old news. To some, you won’t care. And to those that it offends, well it shouldn’t. Because I’m doing my best to only speak truth. It’s going to be in a similar format like my Random Monday ramblings, so you won’t necessarily understand every word, and it’s gonna be a mess. Thanks for letting me write it out.

My matchbox:

*I love being a single mom. I throw single around lightly, I’m in a relationship-but a long distance one. Which means five days a week, I am very much on my own. And I love it. I love that I have the strength to be a single mom. I love the inner strength and the bond I have with my kids because of my status. I love the community and understanding of single mamma’s. But there are nights that I scream at my kids for no reason. There are nights that bath time seems like a mountain taller than Everest that I fear climbing alone. There are nights, that if my kids whine one more time, I am tempted to pull my hairs out one by one, just to see if it’d be less painful.

*I sometimes crave a past I never had. I had this perfect image of what life is going to be, and thought I was living, and want to scream at people for letting that image go up in flames. I had this idea that if I created the perfect home, that I’d never be in this position. And he ruined it. I blame him so hard for the situation I’m in. And then I realize that I can’t blame him or anybody else for something I never had. I fell in love with an image, a falsehood. And I learned from the hard knocks of that reality, when my heart was all busted up, when my home was torn apart, what the truth was. Thank everything for the past I never had. Because if it weren’t for it, I wouldn’t appreciate things when they’re good, and right. I wouldn’t appreciate the future.

*Every now and then, I look around my job and wonder how I ended up here. I think that I’m doing nothing right, and that by luck only, I’ve landed myself in a dream job that I cant imagine ever leaving. Sometimes, I find myself waiting for the bottom to drop out. Then…I remember to thank God for opportunities that he puts in front of us, whether we’re ready or not. Staring in to space at my job, lacking confidence in my ability to do it better than anybody else, is not a rare occurrence.

*I get frustrated when I cant see the future. I want so badly to know what choices to make that will make my future all it can be for my girls. For my girls. It’d odd, that once you have kids, you have no other priority. There are days that makes things a lot harder. So hard I’d rather sleep for a few years and let things fall in to place on their own, with no regard for responsibility.

*Sometimes, I watch chick flicks, and like them.

*Longevity with somebody isn’t everything. That truth right there? Is probably the biggest brick I’ve swallowed lately. Just because you know somebody inside and out, and they you, and they’re your longest standing partner in crime…doesn’t mean that they’re forever. Or that they’d actually jump off a bridge for you. Or that they’d work hard to save whatever you’ve got. No matter how upset you get, it’s not your fault. It wasn’t a waste of time. And you learned things from them that are valuable and irreplaceable. There is no regrets. There are mistakes, and there are lessons. Some days, I really miss her. Other days, I realize how blessed I am to have the support system I do. That there is a reason for everything. And sometimes, things fall apart so other things have room to fall together and grow.

*I love that I finally have a relationship with my parents that I almost ruined a few years ago. Funny how life’s priorities change. Which brings me to…

*Boys aren’t everything. I know sometimes it feels like they are. It’s almost like they’re worth risking family, friends, school, work, everything. But they’re not. I’d like to think after going through that once, you’d never let it happen again. Women are strange creatures, and easily swayed when hearts are involved.

*There are two sides to every story for a reason. Get a grip on both sides, hard, before you make a decision about anything.

*I can be irrational. Emotional. Insecure. Downright crazy. And I scream, and throw things, and cry, for no reason at all.

*Being with somebody, isn’t everything. And though I love the idea of a life partner, until I’m completely comfortable with myself, it’s useless to plot such fairytales. It’s not fair to them. My story is being written as we speak, don’t rush to the next chapter until this one is through.

If all these matches in my matchbox are completely obscure, odd, and insane…I’m so glad I’m not normal.

Yours Truly,

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

** What to do??

Please read our latest Ghost Blog, and let them know what you think on this topic! ~Nomz and Sazaran

My dear friend, lets call her Maria, is suffering from very deep depression. For a little over two years now she has been dating a guy, we’ll call him, Rich. In the beginning it was great, they got along did tons of things together. It was like a storybook tale, until we found out what was really going on behind closed doors.

He punched her so hard one night he broke his hand on her face! He would beat her on a daily basis. He, beat her, he raped her, he beat her dog, ruined her credit and has just, been destroying her life.

A few months ago, she went to court because their little battle fights have gotten them both thrown in jail at one point. She had to sit there and tell everyone in the courtroom how he would rape her and beat her. Of course, the State put a protection order against “Rich” so we felt like she was safe.

A couple of weeks ago she went back to him. I fear for her life, I’m scared the next call I get is going to be, “your friend is in the ER and is slowly slipping away.” I’m at a lost for words. I tried to give her healthy advice in the beginning. Now, I just want her safe. Should I completely ruin our friendship and call the cops and tell them there is a protection order on my friend against this guy? Or, do I sit and watch, and pray he doesn’t beat her so bad he kills her? Anyone have suggestions.

Thanks so much


Monday, January 11, 2010

♥Whine whine whine

It's a hard night. One that ends in parched cries from my broken heart. Bear with me while I vent and work out my feelings via our blog. I trust that you'll be kind when posting your comments.

I must be more of a control freak that I thought I was. It started out as a little pity party because I am not enjoying this single life. At all. Then, the tears gained momentum and before I knew it, I couldn't stop... can't stop, really, because I'm wiping the tears away as I write this. My hearts aches and I want to throw myself to the ground like Malachi and just have a little temper tantrum.

This is not what I had planned for my life.

I'm not a pioneering woman. I wouldn't have burned my bra or given up my dream of being a mother for some independence. Which is exactly why I'm struggling. I already did the school thing (yes, I do count Bible school as my schooling of choice), I had my baby and want another, I loved being a home-maker. And it's all been stripped from me.

Now, I'm being forced to do a long list of things that I don' Why? Because I wasn't worthy of love. That's the hardest part. I love love. I love being a wife. But, I was rejected in the worst way and it left me reeling. Or maybe it was just the idea of being in love. Certainly I can't love not being loved (enough) right? I don't know what to think, anymore. My head hurts. And I don't have anyone to kiss me gently and let me know that they will help me get through this little bump in the road of life (bring on another wave of pity and wimperings).

Sure, there are the gazillion reasons to stay single. They don't work for me. I know myself, I learned what works for me and what doesn't. I want someone to share my findings with.
Sure, yes, it all comes down to trust. But, can I? Eventually. Maybe. I might turn blue from holding my breath, though. Did I mention that I hate change?

♫ Random Monday 01-11-10

Dear United States, Happy Palindrome Date!
See the date? It’s 011110. Sort of like HANNAH but with numbers. And now you know what a Palindrome is. ;)

Also, I wasn’t being selective by only including the US. I just don’t understand time zones around the world completely, and know it’s still yesterday, or already tomorrow, somewhere.

Let’s get started on the Random, shall we?

~Sometimes, it’s healthy to have a breakdown and just cry it all out. When you’re strong for you, for your kids, for your friends, for your family, eventually, the world gets too heavy. Crying it out seems to clear your vision a bit. Cry it out, even if it’s not worth crying over.

~This week is going to be huge. Like, see those three hurdles over there? Yeah, they’re getting leaped over, with style even. Crazy how relieving it is just to think about things on your to-do list getting done.

~I’ll say it again, because I can’t say it enough. Get yourself some soul-chargers already. Look around you when things get a little less-than-easy, and see who’s standing right next to you to help you hold things in place. The people that aren’t there out of inconvenience or selfish reasons, don’t belong. Nobody said being a friend was going to be easy. I’m surrounded by the most amazing friends ever. My friends? Irreplaceable, refreshing, spirit-lifting people, and wayyyyyy cooler than yours. I may be bias.

~I don’t understand the love for Taylor Swift. The girl sounds 12, and nobody liked her music until she wore a short dress all summer, and got emotionally beat up by Kanye. Which was crap, I agree. But other than her amazing talent at writing her own music, she’s nothing spectacular to me. I don’t get it. My girls on the other hand, are on their way to being her biggest fan. See? Proof that I’ll love you in spite of your bad taste.

~Home isn’t an actual place, it’s in the heart. It’s felt. You can feel at home in more than one place, and that feeling can shift without you moving a muscle, or a town.

~Reese once said: “Jealousy isn’t always bad..helps you realize feelings about things that you might not have noticed otherwise.” I’m not a jealous person, but this weekend it overwhelmed me at one point. And as much as it felt wrong, I remembered her words so clearly. It’s so true. Turn jealousy around to something good-realize the reason behind your jealousy, not your motive. Yes, they are two different things.

~Microsoft products are both genius, completely frustrating. Example? Excel hates me, and Word puts in characters that are completely incompatible with any other program. Microsoft, share the love.

~I pretty much love that even though he hates rodeo, he not only sat through one, but engaged in conversation and asked about my favorite things. Pretending to be interested in horses when you deep down he hates them? Proof this is real.

~Fun to me that “viral” used to be a bad word, used for things not worth sharing. Now, it’s desirable. Not in the nasty disease sort of viral, but in the Facebook kind of viral. Just what color were your undergarments this week? Just so you know? Actual foundations for cancer heard of all of the girly buzz on Facebook this last week and are doing things to support it. Amazing how fast things spread when catchy. I’m still not talking about the nasty disease kind of spreading. There is most definitely a parallel in there somewhere though.

~I do all of my best thinking in the shower, and driving. I also do my best confrontations and discussions in those situations. That’s right, I have shower confrontations. I’m guessing it’s a control thing. I’ve got to be in the vehicle, or on my own two feet, wet, and nude to feel empowered. It makes total sense.

~Time to wrap this up! Song, quote, picture time! In that order, ready?! Listen carefully.

"Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression."

Yours Truly,

Friday, January 8, 2010

♥Laugh your way to the weekend

There hasn't been a whole lot of laughing around here, lately. And so, to inspire a giggle to two, I thought you'd like to see this. Behold....

Thursday, January 7, 2010

**Gen X and Gen Y in the Career Field

Due to our lack of orginizational skillz, we are posting the Ghost Blog on Thursday, rather than Wednesday. Our apologies. Please read our latest Ghost Blog, and let them know what you think on this topic! ~Nomz and Sazaran

I’m Gen X. I like to lead there because it tells you a lot about me. My parents divorced. My mom went to work. I was told to never, ever answer the door or the phone unless she was home. Oh, and I’m really good at navigating the messiness of life. I need a plan. I love plans. So it only makes sense that I’ve mapped out an inter-generational career plan, right?

My parents are Baby Boomers. They certainly were doing better financially when they were my age. They lived on one income, for example. I can’t imagine raising three kids on one income – my income. Yet, my parents did it and were called “middle class” when they did.

My parents are much more understanding of how housing, education and even food costs have exploded since they were my age. My grandparents, members of the GI Generation, are not as able to put it together. They don’t have a real-time understanding that wages haven’t kept up with costs.

A product of the Great Depression, they depress me with all their talk of my multiple address and job changes and lack of thousands of dollars in liquid savings. They claim to understand things cost so much, but fail to realize that my parents, for as well as they were doing, didn’t pay my way through college. Of course, my grandparents paid $300 a semester for my dad’s education. My tuition bills were $1,300 a semester, a bargain in the mid-90s. So I borrowed money for college. I borrowed money to buy a decent car. I paid for stuff on my credit card. And still, I don’t have $10,000 in savings nor do I have any chance of paying off my mortgage before I retire. Or die, probably.

My grandparents’ first home: $5,000. Mine? $52,000. Yep. In just two generations.

I love my grandparents. They know what it is to be financially solvent, believe that is wholly possible, and we all know that comes with sacrifices. I resent my parents’ generation, making me an even more typical Gen X. They recognize how expensive life is today, but don’t seem to adequately appreciate how good they’ve had it for so long, and that even now, in an economic downturn, they get to keep the best paying jobs they’ve ever had to secure an even better retirement for themselves. (And who can blame them? Life isn’t free for retirees, as my grandparents can attest.)

As a result of all that mixing of medical science and economic downshifting, this is the first time all four generations are sharing the work environment. The GI Generation and (their slightly younger counterparts) the Silent Generation aren’t retiring. Work gives them purpose, and they require that. Boomers aren’t retiring because they simply can’t afford to (or because they don’t dream about retirement in the same fun framework Gens X and Y do). That means Boomer values feature prominently in any workplace policy and they might not be so keen on Gens X and Y and their voice in the workplace.

It’s not surprising Gens X and Y might feel entitled to affect policy. After all, we played T-ball. We worked in small groups in elementary school. We voted on lunchroom policy. Our parents assured us we were very, very special kids.

We heard by a generation that wasn’t heard by their parents.

My goals at work aren’t the same as the generations that came before me, and I have little hope of retiring at 65 years old, the “traditional” retirement age. I bring that perspective to work with me every day in my hip pocket, and I realize those differences aren’t necessarily a bad thing. If I let them creep into my brain, those career-terrorizing thoughts can ruin my day, my workweek, and eventually, work is no place I want to be at all. That’s an even sadder thought considering Gens X and Y need to be part of a community. We just don’t see community the same way older generations do. Some of us use Internet and Community interchangeably, because doesn’t it feel that way?

All of these generational differences and generational togetherness add up to some serious differences in workplace style. In my years in the workforce – 10 in newsrooms and now three in state government –I’ve learned a few things.

-You believe your 2 cents is welcome in any policy or practice discussion. The Others believe you need to work your way up the ladder (Boomers) or stop pestering and just accept the things you cannot change (Silents, GIs).

-You believe information should flow freely, after all, we’re on the same team here. The Others believe you need to appreciate the hierarchy (Boomers, Silents, GIs).

-You believe the way the company shows its appreciation for you is to invest in you, making training your workplace currency in trade. The Others trade in information. Withholding it secures their place on the company ladder, which Gens X and Y can hardly even see because they’re so busy moving from one organization to another in search of more opportunity and better pay and better benefits so they can see their kids’ school plays, act as parent aides in the classroom or coach their kids’ youth soccer team.

Big differences, no?

If you’re to grow in this environment, and I hope you do want to grow your career, here’s what you need to do: Find a way to partner with one of the Others on a project. They’ve got a lot to teach you. They’ve been around a while and have tons of insight into how projects have failed or succeeded in the past in similar or completely different environments. They know how stuff works.

And then remember you have a lot to teach them. Like, voicemail and e-mail aren’t the only way to communicate on work product and Google Docs is a plethora of fantastically free project management tools.

A failure to buy the popular idea that Gens X and Y just might be the “Most Self-involved Generation” is a great first step in launching your own career, no matter how measure success.

**Ghost Blogger

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

♫ Orianthi-According to You

I need a place to put this song. The blog is officially getting it.

Orianthi-According to You

I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right

According to you
I'm difficult
Hard to please
Forever changing my mind
I'm a mess in a dress
Can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life
According to you
According to you

But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him
I'm funny,irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you

According to you
I'm boring
I'm moody
You can't take me any place

According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away
I'm the girl with the worst attention span
You're the boy who puts up with it
According to you
According to you

But according to him
I'm beautiful,incredible
He can't get me out of his head

According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you

I need to feel appreciated
like I'm not hated
Oh, no
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me dizz-ay

According to me
you're stupid
you're useless
you can't do anything right

But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head

According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
Baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you [you, you]
According to you [you, you]

According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right

Yours Truly,

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

♥Just Say No.

I have a bone to pick (surprise, surprise).

It seems that out of nowhere, the availability and tolerance of pornography has erupted and left its mess all over our country. I do not watch porn, nor do I agree with those who think it is harmless. Here is why I must take a stand against such diabolical entertainment:

Pornography victimizes women and children. The stories that I have heard, which will not be shared on this blog, are ones that force nightmares for weeks. They are the stories that leave such a lasting, horrific image in the mind's eye that ignorance is impossible. Why would one human being take another and force their will on them- a will that is so disruptive and degrading? Not all women and certainly no children volunteer to be molested, violated and cheapened for entertainment. Entertainment? Really? We should be ashamed.

Pornography causes an unrealistic view of "perfection". How could a normal woman, especially one who has borne children, see a porn star and think she could ever measure up? Her breasts are not shaped as such, her lips are not falsely plumped, her stretch marks are evident and her attitude is not "do anything you want to me- moremoremore". A man who watches pornography is sending his girlfriend/wife a message that says, this is what turns me on. Once a woman realizes that she is not enough, her entire idea of pleasure, intimacy and trust are compromised. It ends up being a violent domino effect- not one good thing will result from trying to be like "her".

Pornography is the root of all sexual crime. In my opinion. I have no proof to back this up. However, each case that I have come across in my personal life has a common denominator: porn. It starts off innocent enough: a little peak here and there; then it escalates to more, hard-core, nothing satisfies. It ends with a rape, or a pedophilia desire.

Pornography perverts the mindset. Have you ever been around someone who just cannot get their mind out of the gutter? They seems to slip a "that's what she said" joke into every little window of opportunity- be it appropriate or not. Sure, at first it's something to snigger at but after a while, a gutter-mind can be exhausting.

Pornography is expensive. Now, I know nothing about the actual costs of it. I do know this: people go into debt. Quickly. "In this economy" we have higher priorities.

"Pornography intensifies an individual's drive to serve oneself, rather than serve others." It's all about how can you fulfill my desires? And not let us enter into this together and share an experience that we will both enjoy.

Whether it is porn for personal pleasure, education or entertainment I want to beseech you to stop the band wagon and proclaim purity. Sex is a personal and private act that should be between a man and a woman who have committed themselves to one another. No one else is permitted to be an audience to such intimacy. Parents, set standards and control the avenues to pornography. What perception is available for an adolescent who knows nothing of the complications of intercourse? How will he/she be ready, when the time comes, to have a right attitude about an act meant only for a mature mind?

Philippians 4:8
Whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

Monday, January 4, 2010

♫ Random Monday-1/4/10

Title: What Goes Around, Comes Around. <- - Listen to the song in this blog.

Happy 2010! Where in the world has time gone, and how it already the fourth of January?

I’ve made several resolutions to myself for this New Year, not so much goals, as a change in complete outlook on things. To keep things consistent, I’ll lay mine out similar to Sarah did in this here Random Monday blog: Sarah's Randomness

#1. Zen. Balance. While it’s nearly impossible to survive a relationship with somebody when they live over an hour away, we get two days a week to accomplish it, making it nearly impossible to have any kind of balance at all. My goal: Make that relationship stronger, find a way to balance that one, with personal time with friends and family. I have a goal to spend more time with each and every one of you, prepare yourselves.

#2. Go back to school. Again. Only this time, for a completely different degree that is in no way related to the one I’ve almost got. It’s going to be a challenge, it’s going to be expensive. I don’t plan on finishing anything this year, but a start is on the list of goals.

#3. Honesty. I loathe confrontation, but it’s officially time to grow a pair. So…I'm aiming to be more honest when asked to be, and I'm going to try to bust out some pretty serious closet-skeletons that have been mine all mine for a long time. We’ll start with semicolons. I’m going to be honest…it’s the only thing in English that I did not grasp; and therefore; I have no idea; where to put them;. Help me. Also, for my skeletons, I dedicate this song:

#4. Money. This year I will start my very own bank account, with nobody else on it. A basic savings account. And it will have money in. it. I’m a big girl, I’ve had bank accounts, but I’ve been dumb enough to share every single one of them and lose my ars on them. New beginnings mean fresh starts. I will save money, and I will not be at the end of my rope every single month, ever again. I’m also going to start paying off back-debt.

#5. Pray. Every; single; day. With my girls, so I can teach them to pray. I didn’t mean to copy Sarah on this one, it was actually a goal. I started a journal a few days ago and everything. If you need proof that prayer works; try it. Every single one of you should copy this idea.

There you have it, my goals for this year. If I stick to two of them, I can still consider myself an optimist.

Time for Teh Randumz.

*~With the exception of what I said above about semicolons, I am a bit of a grammar nazi. And, thanks to being friends with some hard core grammar nazi’s, I’ve developed a grammar twitch.

*~I don’t believe in necessarily sugar-coating, but truth in moderation is completely legal. Especially if it spares somebody pain.

*~I have this boy, that loves me. Proof:
#1. He gives me all of the green Sour Patch Kids.
#2. He lets me work the remote as long as football isn’t on. And puts up with my Law&Order marathons. And pretends to like them.
#3. He’s amazing with my kids. He actually worked through a toddler tantrum this weekend like’s he’s been doing it for years.
#4. He carried my bags, and my kids, while I shopped this weekend.
#5. Eggnog icecream. Nuf’ said.

*~When I get stressed, I clean. It’s genetic, thanks, mamma. This weekend? The ceiling fans got washed, then dusted. THEY SHINE.

*~Over this last break I got to see a friend that I haven’t seen since 5th grade. To age myself a bit, that’s like…14 years. And we still have this amazing connection. Reminds me of that quote that says something like…If a friend of your past doesn’t make it to your future, there’s a reason for it. She’s in my life to serve a purpose…and she’s really quite amazing. And short. I envy her lack of tall.

*~I’d like to thank the people that have been commenting on this blog. While some of the comments seem a bit redundant, our blog traffic has doubled. We appreciate your interaction, and lets’ face it, raising hair a bit. I do ask that you remember the following:
#1. No matter what the blog says, we’re the blog authors, and have the right to disagree with you. Or push your buttons.
#2. WE are the blog authors. Meaning there is two of us. With different opinions. We have a lot in common, but assuming we’re the same person isn’t fair either.
#3. We love your comments, even if they are mean. Secretly, we like the challenge of figuring out exactly who you are. ;)
#4. We allow anonymous comments to provide a safe haven for you to put your opinion out there. Period. Not for you to be mean.
#5. Our blog rocks. You think so too, or you wouldn’t read it. ;) Orrrrrr, you really enjoy arguing. Either way, feel free to stick around. And play nice.

*~We’re going to try to be organized in 2010. We’re going to try and post one guest blog a week until we run out. Email us if you’d like to be published!

*~Has big stresses in her head that won’t come out until resolved. Like:
#1. Where am I going to be living forever? My kids start school, like, this year.
#2. If I lock every door in my house, why do I still dream that somebody wants to harm my kids while they sleep?
#3. ^ Probably because of Law&Order marathons. I should find a less scary show to love. House makes me develop Hypochondria though. Bad.
#4. Child support. growls.


“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

Pictures: My New Year’s Eve in a nutshell!

Yours Truly,


* So, I've been thinking. Usually, I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. But, I might make an exception this year: it's time for the big girl panties. I'm comfortable with this because it's general enough to cover one thing or many things that I need to change or work on. For example, I also have a To-Do list for the next twelve months.

1. Get a car
2. Wean Malachi... I think a whole year is plenty of time for this, right? ;-)
3. Go to school and/or figure out a better way to provide for myself and Malachi.
4. Learn ASL.
5. Who wants to join me??

* Lately, I have been feeling very discouraged and morose. Yesterday, at church, they had prayer for anyone feeling especially down over the last couple months and after a few minutes of trying to convince myself that all is peachy- I shuffled to the front where I cried and cried. I'm talking black-tear-streaks-of-sweet-relief. A good cry every now and then helps, a great deal. When said cry is wrapped in the comforting arms of The One who will never leave you or forsake you? It's beyond words. I feel a world of difference.

* Which sorta leads me to number 6. of my list: quit making excuses for not diving in head-first. I blogged last year about my wanting to make a resolution of praying I failed. So, this time, I'm not going to put a specific time requirement on it. I'm just going to purpose in my heart to be a serious lover of Jesus. It's so easy to "play" Christian and pretend that your walk is exactly where it needs to be-- but I want to be real. Am I perfect? Do I struggle? More than I let on. Is that the very reason I need to be closer to Jesus more than ever? YUP.

* After all... "faith that costs little will accomplish little." Good word, Pastor Rick!

* I've been compiling a list of "awesomely-bad" break up songs. They surely do help get my angst out: Never Again, Gives You Hell, So What, Already Gone, White Horse, Fighter, Take A Bow, I Do Not Hook Up, Irreplaceable. Psssst, if you know of any other good ones, share!

* I just realized that my dad's computer has a webcam. Skype, anyone??!
*My home-town newspaper has a little section dedicated to people who like to gripe to each other: it's called Miscellany II and it's so much fun to read. This is my favorite submission of the week:

"To those who try to invoke it: Karma is not real. It is not a god. Don't you know that it rains on the just and the unjust?"
Bring on the comment craze....

Friday, January 1, 2010

♫ The Story of Two Wolves

When we feel attacked, we've got to remember that we can only choose our own paths, our own reactions, and our own karma...not that of others. Never argue with an idiot, that's dropping to their level-and letting them win.

"One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

"One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

"The other is Good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed.""

While we pride ourselves on open-mindness and healthy discussion on this blog, when it turns from constructive or honest, to mean, it changes things drastically...and will not be tolerated. We are touchy about a few issues, obviously. That doesnt make us wrong, that makes us different. Reading our blog is an option, not an obligation.

Yours Truly,

♥My Laotong

Ours was a friendship crafted in the very fabric of love. We listed our every common bond from the first day we met. Adventures were ours to be had and, boy, did we have 'em.

A few words to describe the unique, once-in-a-lifetime kinship that we shared are: bosom buddies, best friends, laotongs. Laotong means "old same" or kindred spirits. In old China, young women would be matched together and form laotong relationships. These are lifelong intimate friendships that offer emotional support throughout all of life's ups and downs. Though we weren't matched by our parents, we were meant to be inseparable... for a season, anyway. And, we were.

Some of my bestest memories include this lovely lady. We once made up a fantasy story about a hidden, magical pond; wrote it on paper soaked in tea, wrapped it up, slid it into a bottle and threw it with all of our might into the very pond we imagined to harbor other-worldly creatures.

Our stories of adventure included many close encounters with death (or what we thought would surely end in our demise), secret hideaways and animals that were smarter than they let on. Skinny-dipping was not something we only joked about; lighting followed us; boys envied us; angels surely had their work cut out for them.

And then, life got in the way. For what seemed like half a lifetime, nothing could taint our affinity. Not distance, life's struggles or boys. But, all things have their time and all relationships go through the refiner's fire. I don't know what caused our hearts to be broken or why. Looking back, it wasn't any one thing that split us apart. The only thing I am for sure of: it was harder to "get over" than any boy. It was as if part of me had been ripped away- a pain in my heart that would not ease.

Then, a miraculous event. I became pregnant. A life was created and he became the bridge that kick-started our mutual forgiveness. This is how I see it, anyway. It crushes me to think of all the time we lost in each other's lives. The stories we could have shared, the strength we could have lent to one another. "Elle est ce qu'elle est." or "it is what it is". What's important is that we put aside our tender hearts and found peace with one another. It feels so good to have my laotong back!

My Point: No friendship that has fed you in your life, has been more than a moment of joy or a history of precious memories is ever worth the pain of losing. Things may change, impressions may be lost or opinion may be presented in unorthodox ways- but what remains is love.

Now, I am overjoyed to say that my laotong and I are there for each other, as we always were. Our common bond (stronger than any previously, superficial bond) as mothers is a gift from The Lord above. We do snot speak everyday but what is stronger than ever is our respect and admiration for each other- at least it is in my heart.

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