Friday, January 1, 2010

♥My Laotong

Ours was a friendship crafted in the very fabric of love. We listed our every common bond from the first day we met. Adventures were ours to be had and, boy, did we have 'em.

A few words to describe the unique, once-in-a-lifetime kinship that we shared are: bosom buddies, best friends, laotongs. Laotong means "old same" or kindred spirits. In old China, young women would be matched together and form laotong relationships. These are lifelong intimate friendships that offer emotional support throughout all of life's ups and downs. Though we weren't matched by our parents, we were meant to be inseparable... for a season, anyway. And, we were.

Some of my bestest memories include this lovely lady. We once made up a fantasy story about a hidden, magical pond; wrote it on paper soaked in tea, wrapped it up, slid it into a bottle and threw it with all of our might into the very pond we imagined to harbor other-worldly creatures.

Our stories of adventure included many close encounters with death (or what we thought would surely end in our demise), secret hideaways and animals that were smarter than they let on. Skinny-dipping was not something we only joked about; lighting followed us; boys envied us; angels surely had their work cut out for them.

And then, life got in the way. For what seemed like half a lifetime, nothing could taint our affinity. Not distance, life's struggles or boys. But, all things have their time and all relationships go through the refiner's fire. I don't know what caused our hearts to be broken or why. Looking back, it wasn't any one thing that split us apart. The only thing I am for sure of: it was harder to "get over" than any boy. It was as if part of me had been ripped away- a pain in my heart that would not ease.

Then, a miraculous event. I became pregnant. A life was created and he became the bridge that kick-started our mutual forgiveness. This is how I see it, anyway. It crushes me to think of all the time we lost in each other's lives. The stories we could have shared, the strength we could have lent to one another. "Elle est ce qu'elle est." or "it is what it is". What's important is that we put aside our tender hearts and found peace with one another. It feels so good to have my laotong back!

My Point: No friendship that has fed you in your life, has been more than a moment of joy or a history of precious memories is ever worth the pain of losing. Things may change, impressions may be lost or opinion may be presented in unorthodox ways- but what remains is love.

Now, I am overjoyed to say that my laotong and I are there for each other, as we always were. Our common bond (stronger than any previously, superficial bond) as mothers is a gift from The Lord above. We do snot speak everyday but what is stronger than ever is our respect and admiration for each other- at least it is in my heart.


Lover of your BLOG! said...

Great blog...

It is amazing how this cycle happens with most true friendships. I've had it happen in my life numerous times and the end result is always a much closer, deeper and truer relationship/friendship, that never separates again!

Rebecca said...

Oh, Sarah, tears immediately sprang to my eyes when I started reading this. And whats amazing is I feel like if I were to write on this subject, our words would have been nearly verbatim!
The journeys in life are truly amazing, and I cannot tell you how grateful I am that ours have been so closely intertwined. The many memories I cherish, the heartbreaks ache my heart, but the future I look forward to knowing our dear freindship is weathered, honest, beatiful and strong.
I love you, my Laotong!

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