Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Twitter Moms: The Influential Moms Network

Motherhood has given me a great rack, and other notable qualities.

I’ve been having this ongoing battle between the voices in my head about the pros and cons of giving birth to my son. Although I do feel a huge canyon has been formed between those (my friends) who haven’t yet had children, I am so grateful that my mother and I now have a new area in which to bond- stretch marks. Actually, that’s not true. She didn’t get stretch marks- my stomach looks like my cat used it as a clawing post. BUT, we do both love our body shaping suits (SPANX, ASSETS- Godsend, anyone??).

So, aside from my botched pride and my no-longer-youthful body, I have developed (so to speak) some great qualities from this thing called “motherhood”. For one, my boobs are quite impressive. And although I WILL NOT post nudie pics (c’mon people, stop emailing me!!!) I will tell you that my husband has fallen in love with me, er, them all over again. Not sure if that’s a good thing at this point; but, I would much rather have him pining over me than the blonde, childless broad at his job.

Where I once would eat anything off of any surface while quoting the “10 second rule” (this would shorten or lengthen, depending on the surface) and blessing my little morsel to kill any germs, I now have a built in germ radar that is Code Red 24/7. There must be some sort of switch that flips on in a woman’s head when she has a child. I feel like a superhero with a curse. I can see the bugs and bacteria crawling everywhere. Thus, the hand sanitizer I carry in my car, in my purse, in my pants pockets, in my husband’s pants pockets, in the diaper bag… you get the idea. I firmly believe that this will both lengthen my life and protect my son from the bubonic plague. God bless the woman who invented that stuff (I don’t exactly know if it was a woman. But, really, there is no a more paranoid person than a mother. And where necessity lies… there also lies invention. Or something like that).

I want to be a better person. Now, ha, I know I’ve said this many many times. But, having a little one to introduce the world to makes you want to do your part to make that world a better place. Let’s face it. The world is crap today; I almost feel guilty for bringing a life into existence in this garbage heap we call humanity. Yuck. This year, though, I’ve actually, seriously thought of a New Year’s resolution. I don’t want to do something superficial like stop biting my nails (that would be easy, I don’t), stop eating meat (tried that once, already) or give hugs to everyone (I don’t like the people I work with, so that would be pointless). I want to really change something meaningful. I’ll let you know when I realize what that meaningful thing is.

And, so, as I add bring this blog to and end, I want to dedicate it to the youngest love of my life. My son. Without him, I would be one whole cup size smaller and just a little less motivated to change the world… one really cool inspiring idea at a time.

Happy New Year everyone!!

Love, Sazaran

Friday, December 26, 2008

Merry Marley-Nomz

Sorry we’ve been absent around here. Guess it’s that time of year.

Between catching a cold, being at work the day after Christmas, and having sick kids at home…im not really motivated to write. But thought I should check in with the latest and see what ya’ll are up to.

Christmas was mostly fabulous from the kid aspect. The girls couldn’t have been more blessed to be surrounded by such a massive loving family, and an overly giving one too!

I spend Christmas Eve with the grandparents as I do every year, and it was both joyous and emotional to see my grandfather doing better than Ive ever seen him. Fabulous food, pretty lights, the perfect tree, all glammed up with my beautiful sister and favorite crazy aunt…and lots of pictures of everyone feeling more festive than normal.

Christmas Day was a bit different for us this year than any other year. Kayce and I decided to part ways…so he took the girls to the ranch, while I lazed around with my BFF (who by the way, got me the most amazingly unexpected gift…). The afternoon was spent watching the new flick “Marley and Me”.

Ok before I go in to that…small disclaimer. This girl does not cry through movies. The only movie that has ever made me cry is Armageddon…something about daddy’s and daughters grabs the heart strings. Ah hem, back to the review:

I bawled. Like a big ol’ baby. Perhaps it was the emotional day…but im pretty sure it was the movie. Don’t get me wrong, it was excellent. Great cast, great script, lots of humor, beautiful puppies. BIG TIME SAD ending…that takes forever. We’re not talking 3 tears that you can hide when people glance over (like my little brother sitting next to me…pretty sure he thought I was quite the nut case), we’re talking sobbing. And I wasn’t alone. The sobs echoed around the theatre.

Crazy sad movie…but excellent meaning, a bit inspirational, and it was as much glad as it was sad. If you dare, give it a shot. Good flick over all…I give it four stars…one taken away because of the tears shed. SIGH.

Looking forward to the New Year. A new clean slate, in terms of time.

That’s it for now. Anybody see any movies lately? How was your Christmas?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Anti-Christ?

Who is he? Hint: it isn't Obama. :)

You don’t have to be a theologian to know that we’re on the threshold of a period in humanity called, “The Apocalypse”. In common language, we know it as the Endtimes.
The diabolical figure of the Apocalypse is a man descriptively known as Antichrist. In all likelihood, he won’t be called “Antichrist” when he assumes office, for that is a title which is descriptive of his hatred for God, not the actual name of the man.
Amidst the blizzard of different opinions about Antichrist, including his religion, nationality, race, etc., why not just go to the prophecies of the Bible and end all the confusion? Here are the major one that offer his identity, race, and origin.

#1 He comes from the linage of Japheth, specifically Magog, Japheth’s second son.
Magog would be Noah’s grandson (just in case you’re wondering). No, antichrist is not that old, but he come out of the lineage of Magog. The often overlooked reference to this comes from the prophecy of Ezekiel dating back to 593 B.C. In the prophecy it says:

"And you, son of man, prophesy against Gog [antichrist], and say, Thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I am against you, O Gog [antichrist], chief prince of Meshech and Tubal [western and central Russia]; 2 and I will turn you about and drive you forward, and bring you up from the uttermost parts of the north, and lead you against the mountains of Israel; 3 then I will strike your bow from your left hand, and will make your arrows drop out of your right hand.4 You shall fall upon the mountains of Israel, you and all your hordes and the peoples that are with you [at the battle of Armageddon]; I will give you to birds of prey of every sort and to the wild beasts to be devoured. Ezek 39:1-4(RSV)

For a bit of clarity, when the lineages of Noah’s three sons dispersed across the earth, SHEM’s people traveled into the eastern region and later became the Semitic people. HAM’s people traveled into the southern regions of Africa and India and became known as the darker skinned people. JAPHETH’s people traveled across the Caucasus Mountains into Europe and became known as the Caucasians. From Japheth’s linage comes Gog, the chief prince of the Magogic people.
Since the last three chapter of Ezekiel are dedicated the very near future pertaining to this generation, we can conclude with all certainty that Gog, is the Old Testament name of antichrist in the New Testament. (The name “antichrist” was not known until 96 A.D. when the Apostle John received the vision of Revelation on the island of Patmos. Paul refers to antichrist as “the Lawless One in 2 Thessalonians 2:8 when he wrote to the Thessalonians in 52 A.D.)
Antichrist will come from the Magogic lineage which means he will be a white man. Hence, Obama cannot be the antichrist. Obama’s lineage is Hametic from his father, and Japhetic from his mother. The lineage in the Old Testament follows the father’s line, not the mother’s.

#2 Antichrist is a man; he is not satan incarnate.
They worshiped the dragon [satan] because he gave his authority to the beast [antichrist]; and they worshiped the beast [antichrist], saying, "Who is like the beast, and who is able to wage war with him?" Rev 13:4(NAU)
Here we find two separate personages, satan and antichrist who is also called “the beast”.

#3 & #4 Antichrist previously existed as a leader of one of the seven beast empires and comes up from the Abyss.
The next three subtopics should be combined into one but I have separated them for the ease of comprehension.
Here is where it gets a bit difficult for many people to accept. One must remember that the Endtimes is a period where the 4th dimension (spiritual world) and the 3rd dimension (the tangible world) interface. The entire 7-year period of Revelation is about the supernatural interplay of the 4th dimension on the 3rd dimension. As such, we should expect the strange and the unusual.
The seven beast empires of history are: Egypt, Assyria, Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greece, Rome, and Hitler’s 3rd Reich. The 8th Beast Empire is the future world empire of antichrist which is soon to begin within our generation which likely will arise on the aftermath of a world economic chaos.
But remember, antichrist comes from the Magogic lineage. On that requirement according to Ezekiel, which of the seven beast empires are Magogic in lineage?
(1) Egypt is from the lineage of HAM (Gen 10:6).
(2) Assyria is from the lineage of SHEM (Gen 10:22).
(3) Babylon is from the lineage of HAM.
(4) Greece is from the lineage of JAPHETH (Magog).
(5) Medo-Persia is from the lineage of JEPHETH (Magog)
(6) Rome is from the lineage of JAPHETH (Magog).
(7) Hitler’s 3rd Reich is from the lineage of JAPHETH (Magog).
According Scripture, from one of these seven beast empires comes antichrist. The fact is, the leaders of each empire are now dead. For this reason, antichrist will come up from the Abyss as a resurrected man. The Abyss is not hell, but a location in the earth where the spirits of the damned reside. It seems to be a place where such spirits come and go but with certain limitations. Bible prophecy out of Revelation written in 96 A.D. says:

"The beast that you saw was [one of the seven leaders of the beast empires], and is not [because he was slain with a fatal head wound], and is about to come up out of the Abyss [Bottomless Pit] and goes to destruction [when he is killed at the Battle of Armageddon]. And those who dwell on the earth, whose name has not been written in the book of life from the foundation of the world, will wonder [be amazed] when they see the beast [antichrist], that he was [one of the leaders of the beast empires] and is not [because he was slain with a fatal head wound] and will come [again as the leader of the 8th beast empire]. 9 Here is the mind which has wisdom. The seven heads [seven beast empires] are seven mountains [of world dominion] on which the woman [the Harlot] sits, 10 and they are seven kings; five have fallen [Egypt, Assyria, Babylon, Medo-Persia, and Greece], one is [the Roman at the time John was shown the Revelation], the other [Hitler’s 3rd Reich] has not yet come; and when he comes, he must remain a little while. 11 "The beast which was [a leader of one of the previous seven] and is not [for he is yet to come], is himself also [the leader of] an eighth [antichrist’s 10-Nation Confederation] and is {one} of the seven, and he goes to destruction [at the Battle of Armageddon]. Rev 17:9-11

#5 When antichrist was a leader of one of the seven previous beast empires, he died of a head wound.
Realizing this man is nothing but a man but supernatural from the powers of satan and an ambassador of satan himself, the world will stand in awe when he is revealed as a man who has back to life. Remember, he is the counterfeit of the Jesus. One of the proofs of Christ as the Messiah is His resurrection from the dead. In the same way, antichrist will stun the world and offer his resurrection as a convincing display to bolster his claim of being God.

And those who dwell on the earth, whose name has not been written in the book of life from the foundation of the world, will wonder [be amazed] when they see the beast [antichrist], that he was [one of the leaders of the beast empires] and is not [because he was slain with a fatal head wound and died] and will come [again as the leader of the 8th beast empire]. Revelation 17:8

#6. Based on the above Bible prophecies about antichrist and who is he? Remember:
(1) He comes up from the Abyss. (Rev 17:9)
(2) He is Magogic in lineage. (Ezekiel 39:1-4)
(3) He was the leader of a previous beast empire. (Rev 17:10)
(4) He died of a head wound during his beast-empire leadership. (Rev 17:8)

We can eliminate the beast empires of Egypt, Assyria, and Babylon since none of them are Magogic in lineage. This leaves four to choose from which are all Magogic in lineage: Medo-Persia, Greece, Rome, and Hitler’s 3rd Reich.
Of the final four, which of the leaders died of a head wound?
(1) Darius of Medo-Persia died in battle from a sword wound. Nothing in history mentions a head wound.
(2) Alexander the Great of Greece died of malaria.
(3) Nero of Rome died is a self-inflicted knife wound to the throat.
(4) Hitler died of a gunshot to the head. His body was found in his bunker next to his wife who drank cyanide. Hitler’s body was then burned and thrown down a well according to the best reports. However, his corpse has never been found.
Only Hitler fits all the requirements of scripture that tells of antichrist. He was obsessed with the occult and as no other beast empire leader, had a strong affection for satan. Forty-two assassination attempts were made to kill Hitler but all of them failed. Why? Because Bible prophecy is without error. It is not an approximation such as Nostrdomas’ record indicates where he hits and misses. Accordingly, Bible foretold exactly how Hitler would die—a fatal wound to the head—not by bombs, poison or any other means.
Personally, I don’t believe he can be recognized until he signs the 7-year peace pact with Israel to ensure her safety. This particular event takes place exactly 1,260 days after he signs the peace pact. If you miss that event, then his identity will be unmistakable when he assume his throne in the temple at Jerusalem and declares himself to be God, exactly 1,260 days from the signing.
At the signing of the peace pact, he will be the leader of a 3-nation coalition backed by seven other nations in which he will have a quad of power composed of military, economic, religious and political backing. (Daniel 7:8)
History records that the 6th beast empire, Rome, killed 5,000,000 Christians and Jews over a 214 year period. Hitler killed 6,000,000 Christians and Jews in but a few years during WWII. Truly he is the most diabolical man that ever lived on plant earth. However his blood thirst as the leader of the 7th beast empire is but a drop as compared to his slaughter during his 8th beast empire. In less than 1,331 days, he kills over 1,750,000,000 people (one billion seven hundred fifty million). This is a population number equal to ¼ of mankind by the year 2011—a number equal to all the people of North America, Europe, and Africa. While the largest number will be Christians and Jews, anyone who refuses to worship him as God will be killed. Finally, Jesus kills him at the Battle of Armageddon exactly 2,550 days after antichrist signs the peace pact.

For more information on him, the false prophet, and the exact order of events as they unfold, you can read my book, The Chronological Order or Revelation which can be purchased on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, or any major book seller.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

♥ God's will(s)?

God’s Will(s)?


Romans 12:2-

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

My heart’s desire is to live my life according to God’s will; with a clean conscience and an ear tuned in to the Holy Spirit’s voice. Some years ago, when I was really struggling with making a decision I began to meditate on this verse. I feel that God revealed to me that He is not a Yes or No God (of course He isn’t! That’s why He created free will!). Is it possible that God may not have The Perfect Will for us, as we assume many times? Could he possibly have more than one will?

Example: Marriage (I’m sorry if I offend anyone at this point. But, I am using my own personal experience and this is the best example I got)

In a past relationship that had the potential of marriage, I felt torn because I was not sure if getting married was God’s will. In the end, I decided that it was not. But, before coming to that decision, I spent many a night in tearful prayer begging Jesus to show me His will. Our conversation went something like this:

“Lord, tell me what to do. I just want your will, only your will.” Sob, sob. Sniffle.

“Sarah, I’m going to let you choose what you want to do”

“Really? But, why can’t you just tell me so I can just do it? If you want me to get married, I will. I do what you want. Just tell me, please.” Sob, sob. Groan.

Soft, still, peaceful silence was the response. So, I chose.

What if I had chosen the other path? I’m sure God would have greatly blessed me then as He has now. Because my heart was in the right place, He was able to flex His will to what my heart’s desire was.

Thus my theory of God’s three wills:

Perfect:

He has a perfect will; which I know we can learn of an obey, but (in our humanity) how often do we obey perfectly? God’s perfect will was to have a perfect, sinless creation. That didn’t happen. So, he made adjustments so that His good and/or acceptable will could be carried out. Enter, Jesus Christ, our wonderful Savior.

Good:

If two people have sex outside of marriage (which is not God’s will) and conceive a child- it is God’s will for that child to be born into the world? I believe so. A child was the result of sin, but God loves that baby nonetheless and so He adjusts His will for the child.

Acceptable:

For those of us who are at times (and maybe most of the time) just stubborn sheep. His grace is sufficient; His will is acceptable.


Let me know what you think of my theory! :)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Doctrinal Debate (sort of)


So, here’s my doctrinal topic for the day: Should women still be required to cover their heads in church?

Before blogging about this, I talked to my dad (who is a pastor) about the context and interpretation of the infamous scripture, 1 Corinthians 11:3-10, “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.”

What I understood from his explanation is this: this scripture is not a matter of a legalistic rule against women. It is a matter of conscience. In the Biblical times, Jewish women wore headdresses as a cultural thing. Therefore, it was ingrained into their culture as the proper attire for a woman and thus a matter of the conscience. However, Greek women did not wear head coverings, according to their culture. When both cultures came together to worship, Jewish women became offended. This would be equal to a woman wearing a low cut dress or a mini skirt to church on Sunday. To smooth matters over, Paul instructed that all women should cover their heads in a place of worship so that no one became offended.

Makes sense.

But, some denominations still do it today. From my point of view, it isn’t a cultural thing anymore; so, why do some churches have a legalistic hold on this?

And here is my part B of the topic of the day: Should women be allowed to speak/prophesy/hold positions of leadership in the church?

Notice that verse five says this, “And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved.”

The context of this scripture is not to pray to one’s self as in a daily devotional or petition to God in a private manner. It is referring to a public prayer or prophesy. Women were allowed by Paul to prophesy before the congregation. Women were also allowed to hold positions of leadership under Paul’s ministry: Priscilla and Aquila ministered to the body of Christ. There are other women who also helped Paul, I just can’t remember their names. :-\

My personal convictions are:

In today’s culture, women should not be required (by a legalistic preference of the church) to cover their heads during church. It is a matter of the heart (not of the rule book) that we ought to keep out consciences clean before the Lord. There is a thin line between respect and works and I feel that in some cases, head covering can become a ‘works’ issue. Covering my head will not cause me to be more holy or more acceptable to the Lord. Unless, of course, I lived back in the times of Paul.

I do believe that women are called to hold positions of leadership in the church and are encouraged to practice and participate in such things as baptism of the Holy Spirit (speaking in tongues), prophesying, and even preaching. (Deuteronomy 10:1, “ For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality nor takes a bribe.”)


So! Tell me (or us) what your convictions are on this. I want to know your convictions with scriptural support. Look forward to reading your thoughts!!!! :)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Santa Claus-Tis the Season!-Nomz

I cant stand Santa. Im not sure if it is my upbringing, or just the fact that the greasy ones in the malls just creep me out.

A small history of Nomz and Santa:

I was told there was no Santa at a pretty young age. We always get secret gifts from somebody with no name…but it was never signed ‘Santa’. Getting something for Christmas had nothing to do with how good we were all year (whew, let me tell you, that, is a relief). We were taught that the spirit of giving is the most important thing, and that our focus needs to remain on God during Christmas, not fantasy.

So…I was that kid…you know the one in kindergarten that breaks every other child’s heart by letting them know that there is no Santa, Easter Bunny, or Tooth fairy? Yes, yes that was me.

So, before I started this blog, I decided to do my homework. It’s been some time since I was in school, and because I’ve always found him a bit out there, never really cared to pay attention. If you want to know the history of the American version of “Santa”, please check out the following link: http://www.the-north-pole.com/history/.

So. Now I have these two little sparkle-eyed girls that see Santa in the malls. I am trying not to let this germaphobe creep-aphobe take over and refuse to take them, so we walk by and wave and get all excited. Both afraid of strangers, prefer not to get up and close and personal, and I think that’s the perfect compromise.

I do not believe in Santa, I find him mostly creeper-material, and I am at a loss what direction I should go with this with my chillin’s. What are your thoughts?

Friday, December 5, 2008

Semen Cookbook-Nomz

Yes, yes you did hear me right. This came through on several blogs I follow in the last few weeks. I don’t have much more to say except….ew…..

I wouldn’t ever consider cooking out of this cookbook. And as much as your stomach is probably doing flips at the picture below, you’re probably scratching your head actually wondering who would come up with such a thing, why, and deep down, maybe a little part of you is somewhat curious?? Hmmm…it is a revolting idea…but sure makes you wonder. All this chatter about it, surely it’ll get enough attention from the brave experimenters out there. Best of luck…please don’t share.




http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

We named it Daily Offensive for a reason...

I was recently sent a "tough love" email from a family member who doesn't agree with my strong stance against Obama and my strong convictions. Apparently, I'm too aggressive and confrontational.

At first, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of... well, the best I can explain it is that I felt like a little kid who has just be reprimanded for doing something that wasn't necessarily wrong. I didn't feel guilty. Just a little "butt-hurt".

After thinking about it for a while... I'm over it. Wasn't Jesus aggressive and confrontational? I mean, you don't go into the temple, whip the people in it for selling their stuff and turn over their tables without being confrontational or aggressive. Jesus' anger was one-hundred percent Righteous but that doesn't change what he did. In fact, he was so confrontational that the Pharisees considered Him a blasphemer.

I can just hear it now; the Pharisees complaining that Jesus was judging them- all the while, they're calling him a co-conspirator with Satan, of all people. I'll roll my eyes to that!

(No, I'm not calling you a Pharisee)

With all this in mind, I would just like to say to the people who read and are subscribed to our blog: we named it Daily Offensive for a reason. I guess there will always be at least one person that I will offend with my outspoken ways. Don't complain about being judged- I do not judge you. I'm calling you into accountability (and I do so from a heartfelt position as a fellow human being, short comings and all) and I invite you to do the same with me. I will weigh your words and pray about them, but I will not complain that you are judging me. We all need to be called to look at ourselves every once in a while- or else how will we grow? And I also want to say that I'm not sorry for anything I say on this blog- I say it for a reason.

“The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.”


-Sazaran

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Ghosts, Religion, and Schmitty-Nomz

“Ghosts are a metaphor for memory and remembrance and metaphorically connect our world to the world we cannot know about.”

LESLIE WHAT, interview, June 2002

Alrighty folks, time to dive deep. Bear with me. I am not sure on my standing in this. Let me use you for a ventilation system for my thoughts, and hopefully we’ll get quite the discussion going.

Do you believe in ghosts?

When I was growing up, when a door would suddenly blow shut, or we’d get chills on the back of our necks, or something would fly off the counter without rhyme or reason, our parents would say “Schmitty did it!”. That was their way, from my understanding, of saying “that was weird, let’s blame it on the invisible harmless”. We were never taught that Schmitty was a ghost, or really taught to believe one way or another on the subject. I’ve never personally had any “encounters” that I’m aware of. I don’t fear ghosts. I don’t fear the idea of ghosts. I find them intriguing if nothing else…and am open minded to the possibility. I’d love to go to a place where the hauntings and sightings are “guaranteed” just to see if we let our imagination get the best of us, or if something truly exists.

Until proven otherwise, this is my take.

I believe that the quote at the top of this blog nails it on the head. Ghosts are a metaphor, or a symbol, of what is left behind, or what is to come, or what we hope is still with us. I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit. I do not believe that people can be haunted or that ghosts are necessarily harmful or evil. I will not believe that they are spirits of those that have things left behind or that their destination un-chosen or undecided.

I believe two things.

#1. “Ghosts” is not only a transparent spirit or being, it is also a transparent, or shape-shifting word. It can be taken many ways and used in many ways. I believe that the power of Satan, along with his demons, has the power to make you believe or even convince many that one is haunted, evil, or harmful. But I also believe they have the power to take on many shapes, forms, and beings, “ghosts” being one of them. But should you choose to whole-heartedly believe that it can be conquered by God, it cannot be harmful to you.

#2. People that die have a predetermined destination, immediately. I don’t believe that you can choose to stay in a realm of haunting, a realm of indecision, or change your mind half way there.

Again, as we require you to be open minded, I will do the same, and I look forward to a good discussion. Do you believe in ghosts? Have you had any “encounters”? If you have religious standing, please share that too!

Monday, November 24, 2008

The One-Upper

You know... THAT friend. The one that always has to be better (or worse) than anyone around them.


Me: I would love to meet the Newsboys one day. 

One-Upper: Oh, I've met them and let me tell you, they're amazing people.

OR

Me: My labor was pretty rough.

One-Upper: I'll bet that my labor will be worse, the way my body works and all...


I think everyone has at least one friend like this. What is it with this person? Why the stellar ego trip? The victim mentality? I'll tell you; they're attention mongers. Big time. But, what they don't get is that their little stories backfire almost all the time. Rather than getting the attention they're seeking, everyone starts to get irritated by them. 

I also think that this One- Upper is married to Discord Among Friends. Yup, together they just love to get the dirt on other people and go spread it among the other friends. So that they can always be the good guy. Makes sense. 

So, rather than being a jerk and telling this one person off, I'm going to tell that person that they don't need to go looking for attention. People like them just the way they are. BUT, if they do keep it up.... things will backfire. Like they always do. 

Dun dun dun. 

Take a look at this, it will elaborate on everything I may have missed:


Saturday, November 22, 2008

A Mother's Love





Just wanted to brag about my beaufitul little Scooby Doo. :) We had bath time last night and my gorgeous husband was there, camera in hand, ready to create memories! So, I guess this blog is to brag about both boys in my life.

Scooby Doo is now 5 moths old and probably 20lbs- definitely 28", maybe more. He's going to grow up big like his daddy. I've already set the boundaries though: no buying alcohol for your buddies when you're older (because he'll probably look older than he is); you can date at a reasonable age, but I get to pick the girl; when someone littler than you gets picked on (you better not be the picker, like your dad was) you need to stand up to the bullie!

So, there, I feel like the approaching teenage years will be a piece of cake. And I'll try my hardest not to be a "Marie". Dear Lord, please don't let me turn into a "Marie".
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone

Friday, November 21, 2008

A Teeth Scraping Good Time!

You know, they say that “God has a sense of humor. If you need an example, go to WalMart and look around.”


Funny, but not nice. I ranted about WalMart last week. I think we’ve all had our frustrations. I decided to go a little bit further. Walmart to me is like listening to someone scrape their teeth on their fork when they’re eating. It gives me goosebumps…and not the good kind either.


This girl is a germaphobe, clutter phobe, and claustrophobic…and should not even be venturing into a place like Walmart.


I love how on the credit card machines they post little surveys. Was your store clean today? Was the sales associate nice? Uh…that’s a no, on both, almost always. So yes, I think in a sense, Walmart is an example of God’s sense of humor. I’d like to think he laughs at my querks though (the way I use my Purell at least twice through the store, step over the scary things on the floor, and the look on my face when I see interesting people that cant drive their carts), not the faults of the people I am watching. Being a people watcher, I can tell you that the crazy cat lady’s, the homeless, the soccer mom, the old lady with nothing better to do, the handicapped (physically and mentally), and the down right odd people (you know, the ones that have to grab the second gallon of milk just because, or the ones that sift through all the potatoes to find the best ones-you cant pick good potatoes people, they’re all the same!, the ones that spend hours sampling the cheese, the drunk ones, the dirty ones, etc.) all shop there at the same time. And as much as it is entertaining, I don’t typically find it humorous.


Always loving all flavors of people, and doing my best to find that silver lining in all things, as frustrated as I get sometimes…I try to be thankful for the oddities of Walmart.


Thankful that I have a place to get everything I need, including my fill of people watching. Thankful as I look around that I could always have it worse. Thankful that I have a great job. And really, quite blessed that someone invented both Purell and cheese samples (yes, I am that weirdo).


Alright, I promise, the next blog wont be about walmart, or teeth scraping on forks (because I know if you have that problem too, even the thought of it is making you cringe right now). Happy Friday!


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

On behalf of all women...

When he kisses you he isn't doing anything else. You're his whole universe..and the moment is eternal because he doesn't have any plans and isn't going anywhere. Just kissing you...it's overwhelming.

 

Oh, be still my heart. I love this quote. Love Love Love it. And why do I love it? Because I am a woman! I love to be romanced, cherished and swept off of my feet. It used to be a common occurrence for me- those butterflies- when I was told, in a soft sweet voice very close to my ear that I am beautiful. Or the little note slipped into my hand upon passing that read “I love you with all my heart. Kiss”. Ahhh, romance.

 

And then I got married.

 

I would like to put the word out there on behalf of all married women everywhere… even those that deny this blog. We want to be romanced!!

 

Why, men, does it fly out of the window like a freed dove when the ring goes on the finger? Seriously, are vows the last ditch effort in being romanced? Why do you put so much effort into capturing our hearts and then slack when you have them? I, personally, am tired of being humped, I want to be romanced. And, here I give some advice (and explain the hump thing).

 

I’ve often wondered (before I was married, anyway) why trashy, romance novels are so popular among us ‘desperate housewives’. And then, I figured it out. Each book is a memoir of the man we used to know, the man we fell in love with. He is trapped in that book and because, in real life, our man makes no effort in tucking that loose strand of hair behind our ear, we must find him elsewhere.

 

Men, you were created to be chivalrous! God created you to wrap your arms around your wife; to protect her, cherish her, love her, honor her… sound familiar? Marriage is to be the closest example of God’s love toward us. Jesus is the bridegroom and His church is the bride. Men are encouraged to love their wives even as Christ loved the church. Yes, it is about laying down your life the way Jesus did on the cross; but, I believe that its also about romancing your wife as Christ romanced the church! We were not randomly saved- Jesus romanced us into salvation!

 

It is the mainstream stereotype: the horny husband and the book bound wife. Hence: my humping complaint. Men think, for some reason, that gyrating and groping will get them what they want. Here is a little secret—it won’t! You want your wife to be all over you? Kiss her on the neck before you leave for work. Look her in the eyes for a while and then, ever so softly, tell her that she is the woman of your dreams. I can promise you that if you make this kind of behavior a habit, you will get that woman of your dreams.

 

Romance is a two way road, I know. But, it’s so much easier for you to make that first act; she will then hold your hand and romance you in return. Thus, love has entered your hearts once again.

 

So, I want to encourage all husbands, LOVE your wives by romancing them! They are soft hearted and tender and although some husbands may think, “You don’t know my wife- she hates flowers and chocolate will make her feel fat! I know she doesn’t need that romance stuff”… you couldn’t be farther from the truth. For some reason (I haven’t even figured it out yet) women don’t want to have to tell their men how to be romanced- they want them to figure it out on their own- maybe because its so much more special that way. SO, if  you need help or ideas, check out this link: http://www.romanceforeveryone.com/article/how-to-romance-your-wife.html.

 

Good luck!

 

-Sazaran

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A short story I wrote back in highschool

Sarah stirred slightly; a cold draft wrapped around her shoulders, and she reached for her blanket. But instead of feeling her usual bed sheets, and comforter… she felt a cold hard surface.

Sarah awoke with a start. Where was she?

She opened her eyes, but all she saw was darkness. She tried to wave her hand in front of her face.

Nothing.

Sarah’s heart began to race. Slowly she stretched out her legs, waiting… hoping to feel the end of her bed. She didn’t.

Lying on her back she swept her arms around herself, as if she were making a snow-angel. She felt walls.

Walls? Why were there walls so close?

Sarah panicked.  She tried to sit up, but half way up, her head made harsh contact with some sort of ceiling. She winced, and lay back down, trying to steady her breathing as she figured out a reasonable explanation.

Wait… was that?!

Sarah held her breath… she had heard a faint noise.

There it was again. A low, deep growl.

Sarah fought back the tears that were raging in side of her.

Please…. Please. Someone help me.

Sarah’s mind raced. Where was she? Why was she here? How did she get here… and, Please, God, let there be a way out.

The thing growled again. This time it sounded closer.

Then, she felt it. A warm pant… a sof,t most zephyr across her skin.

Its  breath.

Sarah reflex kicked in and she tried to move out of the way; as she did she felt a quick sharp pain. It was bearing its teeth onto her skin.

Sarah cried out in pain.

Her mind told her to stay calm, but her body rebelled

She began to kick, punch, pull hair, hit, scratch- Anything to deter the attack.

Her muscles began to turn to rubber, she’d lost feeling in her legs and her lungs screamed for air.

But she kept kicking, and pulling.

Her head pounded, and her vision blurred. She was losing consciousness…

Sarah? Sweetie?

Sarah recognized the voice immediately. It was her mom…. But why was her mom there? Was she okay? Did the thing try attacking her, too? Thoughts raced though her mind- horrible visions of what could have happened to her mom.

She was losing it.

Sarah?

Was she losing her mind? Sarah tried to break free from her assailant. She moved but it pulled her back down, refusing to give up on its prey so easily.

Something began shaking her.

Wha….

Sarah! Wake up!

Sarah’s eyes fluttered open. She swung, and missed her mom.

Sarah, wake up

Soaked in sweat, Sarah regained consciousness. She looked around, she was back in her room, her bedside lamp illuminated everything. There was no animal, no monster.

Just her mom… and sweet, sweet safety.

Mom! Something…. There was… are you okay? Did it get you, too?

Honey, you’re safe. Nothing was here. You’re okay.

But….

Shhhh. Just go back to sleep you’ll be okay. Sarah’s mom kissed her forehead and left the room.

There was no way Sarah was going back to sleep. Not tonight.

She slowly proper herself up and looked around; as she did she cringed in pain.

She looked down and saw blood.

It was coming from her forearm- the exact place she’d been bit.


-Sazaran

Be Creative or you Can't Play :)

1-​​Name somet​hing a claus​troph​obic perso​n shoul​d not get into?​​

2 What one thing​ does a woman​ spend​ the most time on when getti​ng ready​?​​

3- What is a Spani​sh word that every​one knows​ the meani​ng of?

4- Name somet​hing in your bathr​oom that you leave​ plugg​ed in all the time?​​

5- Besid​es golfe​rs,​​ what is somet​hing you'​​d see on a golf cours​e?​​

6-​​Name a house​hold chore​ you actua​lly enjoy​?​​

7-​​Name somet​hing you walk on?

8-​​Name a place​ where​ you see nervo​us peopl​e?​​ 

9-​​Name somet​hing that can be cherr​y flavo​red?​​

10-​​Compl​ete this phras​e:​​ "​​I'​​ll never​ forge​t my first​ _​​_​​_​​_​​_​​"​​:​​ 

11-​​Name anoth​er word for "​​Dad"​​:​​

12-​​Name anoth​er word for "​​Mom"​​.​​

13-​​Name somet​hing a marri​ed coupl​e might​ want to have 2 of:

14- Whats​ somet​hing you say when you want to break​ up?

15-​​Name somet​hing that is sold by the bunch​?​​

16-​​What age would​ you retir​e if you had enoug​h money​?​​ 

17-​​Name somet​hing you'​​d find on a kitch​en table​?​​

18-​​Name somet​hing that rhyme​s with "d i z z y":

19-​​Tell me how many peopl​e you kisse​d last New Year'​​s Eve? 

20-​​Name somet​hing you'​​d see in a jail cell?​​

21-​​Name an occup​ation​ where​ you might​ work all night​?



Monday, November 17, 2008

I heart Target!-Nomz

While retail sales seem to be low for almost every store at the moment, WalMart has actually shown an increase in revenue. This amazes me…mostly because every single person I know loathes WalMart.

I had to go there this weekend for some reason…and realized that I have pretty much the same gripes every time.

*I hate how people drive their shopping carts. If they drive their cars anything like their shopping carts, it’s no wonder most of us a have a bad case of road rage, and there are so many crappy drivers out there.

*People seem to forget HOW to park. You know what I mean, you’ve seen the people drive up the down rows, make up their own parking spots (especially in the handicap area), somehow take up five spots with their little VW bug, and park so close to the next car that unloading your goods is near impossible.

*The Quick Check-out Line. Probably my biggest peeve of all. Just because the sign says 25 items or LESS does not mean as close to 25 (32 is close if you round down right) as possible. If you have half a cart full of stuff, be nice enough to get in a normal line! And why oh why are the especially slow or superbly old checkers running the “Quick” checkout lines????

I could probably go on most the day about WalMart…but while I was there last, I realized that there are some positives or people wouldn’t go there. So…in order to achieve my goal of finding a little good in everything, it’s only fair to try and look on the bright side.

*They cater to the lower class…I am not sure cater is the word, but they employ what most wouldn’t.

*They’re convenient…I love that I can go there and get everything. When you have a big ol’ list and a few grouchy kids…that’s huge.

*Where else can you find a handicapped (physically) person that will offer you a cart?? (If you’ve never heard Rodney Carrington’s take on this, take a listen-more than mildly offensive though…but to give you an example: “Sure I’ll take a cart, hop up and get me one!”) Really though, the greeters are always more than nice…nicer than I could be in their line of work.

*Everything is marked down…but you gotta wonder, if they’re lowering prices every day…when will this stuff be free?!

*Most are open 24 hours! This is a grand thing…especially at 2am when there is nothing better to do?! Let me tell you, there are some strange things in there at 2am…

*McDonalds! WalMart cutters, or something like that (no, not people that cut themselves, the ones that cut hair). SO, you can get your food, diapers, dog food, sprinklers, tires rotated, fabulously unhealthy food, and your hair cut, all in one shop!

There’s my gripes…and loves…of WalMart. I heart Target!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

This just in... sort of

WATERBURY, Vt. -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.
"PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.
PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.
"The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn't make sense," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. "Everyone knows that 'the breast is best,' so Ben & Jerry's could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk."

All right, let me just begin this blog by saying: EWW, EWW, EWW. C'mon PETA, we all know that you're one fry short of a happy meal, one dime short of a dollar or one sandwhich short of a picnic, but this really is going too far. Human's milk? Let me list just a few of the reason why this has got to be the lamest attempt at saving your precious cows:

1: We don't have to pay cows for their milk. Can you even calculate the cost of paying hundreds (maybe thousands) of women for their milk?

2: Cows produce a lot more milk than women, can you imagine how many women it would take to produce that of one cow?

3: Personally, I don't want to know why my own breast milk tastes like, much less another womans!

4: The food that cows eat can be controlled. Grass is pretty easy to make and not a whole lot goes into it. You'd have to control a woman's diet to make sure that there wasn't anything in her milk that was "bad".

5: "This raises ethical questions. It is not a good idea to pay for milk because it might tempt mothers to put profit before their children." -Swiss association of breast feeding counselors spokesperson Christa Müller-Aregger

6: HIV can be passed on through breastmilk. Each woman would have to be tested before selling her milk- this could also be very costly.

I think that the Ben & Jerry's spokesperson said it best, "... we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child."

I am totally, 100% FOR the ethical treatment of animals. But, there has to be a balance. Without balance, the world would go crazy. For those of us who prefer to treat humans better than animals, I recommend checking out http://www.pathwai.org/. :) Have fun!

-Sazaran

Friday, November 14, 2008

A day for movies...

Culvers is a pit of abdominal pain- do not eat there. I am regretting that butter burger with cheese- although their homemade root beer is num-yummy. :)

God acts in mysterious ways. Had I not got up in the middle of the night because my stomach was protesting my lunch, I would not have noticed the lovely three inch blanket of snow covering Cheyenne. And with that began my early morning of scraping, shoveling, swiping and sweeping. I’m not a fan of winter, you could say; I’ve tried protesting it. But, no one cares about my preference for sunshine over cold, bitter, dangerous (shall I go on?) snow.

Global warming my ass.

But, being the idealist that I am, I always see a silver lining. Days like today allow me to get in my desired movies and add check marks to that list I have compiled. Mmmm I love independent films. So, I’ve decided to share my list of favorites with you (not all of these are indie films). Check ‘em out! They’re so much better than the cookie-cutter Hollywood movies. So much better.

* Dancer in the Dark (Bjork is in this and she is AMAZING- not her usual weird, sorta creepy amazing. Just simple amazing.)
* Shop Girl (adapted from his novella, Steve Martin wrote, directed and stars in this love story. Its bitter sweet, with a little more sweet)
* Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (I cannot tell you enough how much I adore this movie- have seen it about 300 times)
* The Fall (weird movie, but I still enjoyed it. BEAUTIFUL scenery, heartbreaking plot)
* Love Liza (Being a dark comedy, this movie will depress you, but like I said earlier. Its so much better than a Hollywood movie.)
* Brick (the dialog in this film is brilliant; it makes you have to pay attention)
* The Painted Veil (not indie, I don't think. But, such a warm hearted movie, nonetheless)
* Nobody Knows (heart wrenching, foreign)
* Amelie (hilarious! So unique, foreign)
* Acts of Worship (a true story about a drug addict)
* Love Me If You Dare (great foreign chick flick)

I have oh, so many more movies stored in my memory. Maybe I'll post some later. Would love it if people posted their own favorites and even some reviews on the ones I have listed!

-Sazaran

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