Thursday, August 18, 2011

♥365 Days of Change


Nomz wrote all about what has happened to her this year. Holy cats, it's been a crazy year hasn't it? Feels almost like the stuff she accomplished should've taken longer. But, no, that's my Naomi. She crams all the learning and growing things into 365 days of change.

I'd say the same amount of craziness has happened in my life, too. If you take Sazaran from summer of 2010 and hold her up to Sazaran of 2011 you probably would think they're two different people; the former being sort of a gray-scale version of the latter. However, I'm not going to blog about what has happened to me; instead, I'm going to blog about what has happened in me. Because we all know that what happens to you does not necessarily reflect what happens inside of you.

- First and foremost, I've learned (am learning) what true love is. I'm being brought back to the basics: love, grace, mercy, time with Jesus. The main character of this life lesson? My husband, Bruce. Didn't see THAT coming, did ya?! He's been a prime example, from day one of the climb towards that sacrificial love that always endures. I'm so happy that I get to do life with him, I wouldn't want to be tethered to anyone else.



-I've learned to laugh, even when the most logical emotion is the opposite.

- Just like Nomz, (gosh we're so much alike) I branched out with my writing and honed in on that voice speaking inside of me. I took on the challenge of my frequent writer's block and just wrote... a lot. Not even in the blog, but everywhere. Yes, if you're wondering, I'm still offending people with my words. Not intentionally, though. It just happens. I've learned that that part of me might never change. As long as I use it for good and not for evil I don't think I'll employ censor tape.

- I've learned to discern which bridges need to be burned and which need to be rebuilt.

- I've been shown the difference between loving people just as they are and knowing that love calls us from victory to victory. Love doesn't allow us to wallow in our old ways, but it challenges us to be new and improved. Still, that love that says, "I'll stick with you and love you for YOU" is an important lesson.

- I've learned to not forget about my dreams and to pursue them.

- I'm learning about suffering. And death. And love. And how they all blend to make the most beautiful life-tapestry. I'm learning that the hard way doesn't always have to be seen as the worst way. See? Fireflight knows:

The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
And the difference makes it worth it

- Life comes in full circle, ya know? All the things I never thought I'd personally have to deal with are right back in my life. God's sneaky like that.

- I've learned about friendship. What it looks like, what it doesn't look like. Where I need to improve and where I've done a good job. I've learned to let go and/or to cling to, all the while finally realizing that friendship is not a source of "what can I get from this?" but "how can I be your friend, first?" That's a tricky one, let me tell you.


- I'm being called to something higher; to something that scares the crap out of me. And I think this might be the next lesson that I learn: I can do nothing on my own. God shows His funny sense of humor when He uses the foolish things to confound the wise. He calls the weakest people to tackle the biggest tasks. He chooses the most unexpected ways to fulfill His will. I'm part of that unexpected pick, I think. Not even I would have chosen me for what He has planned. And I need to learn to let go and trust. <---- biggest lesson, right there.

- I've learned that the lessons will never stop presenting themselves. And the choice of when to learn the lesson is up to me.

2 comments:

maliaana said...

thank you for your words... I too have been rethinking some things and yours hit home today. These sentiments are so intertwined with growth and happiness-

"I've learned about friendship. What it looks like, what it doesn't look like. Where I need to improve and where I've done a good job. I've learned to let go and/or to cling to, all the while finally realizing that friendship is not a source of "what can I get from this?" but "how can I be your friend, first?" That's a tricky one, let me tell you."

MotherOfPearl said...

Oh, my Sarah... So good to read your words once more! I've reconnected with the world and have even started my own blog, Mother of Pearl. I really want to keep in better touch with you, the last time we chatted, I was still pregnant and you had just (secretly) gotten married. I am glad to hear that marriage has been refreshing for you and that you are with a man who loves the Lord and treats you like the amazing woman you are. No one deserves it more. I'm now following your blog and am going to be doing some back-reading. Just wanted to say "hi", tell you that you're in my thoughts, and thank you for being such a poet. You are beautiful, inside and out! Much love and many blessings to you -- Stevie

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