Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Text Wars

This is John. I love my John. You couldn't ask for a better, funnier, cooler brother. Every once in a while, my brother and I get into a hilarious text war. Okay, well, it's usually hilarious to me. Here, I'll show you (pssst, don't be offended):

Me: I'm in Washington, visiting the Brooks.

John: Oh nice. Washington is gay. haha

Me: No. It's full of awesomeness. I want to move here.

John: Um if awesomeness means gayness, then yeah.......... I'm going to move to Mexico.

Me: Mexico is full of gayness. Just so you know.

John: No, it's full of Mexican beauty and awesome Mexican jumpin' beans but not the kind that jump over the border..... the vegetable kind.

Me: You might get infected with gay beanness. Just so you know.

John: Yeah, you might get infected with gayness fag rain and that would be worse cuz rain covers your whole body, so you would have no chance.

Me: No cause I have a cool poncho that protects me from that stuff. But its not a gay Mexican poncho that comes from your crappy new home.

John: Yeah well I have a power that makes me heal like Claire Bennett, so I don't need a nice Mexican poncho.

Me: Um hello gayness doesn't wound like a broken bone. It gets into your brain and makes you a loser. But ur already a loser so it won't be any different 4 u.

John: Yeah so I'm immune and my powers are strong enough to fight off the gayness.

Me: No it doesn't work like that. U get it worse than anyone else cause Mexico is your kryptonite. Haha you picked the worse country to go to.

John: No its my secret lair. Yeah cuz I'm so badass I need a whole country for a secret lair.

Me: You mean cause your ass is so huge from the way the gayness affected your pancreas. Poor kid. We'll be makin fat jokes about you forever.

John: No I mean the way I'm so awesome a whole country worships me and my ass isn't fat. Its cute and bubbly.

Me: What are you, a girl?! That is proof that the gayness is taking over your dna. I'll miss you John, I mean Joan.

John: You're actin like an ass right now and that means you're actin like a guy.... a gay guy, get out of Washington before its too late Steve!

Me: Well if I'm a guy that means I'll never admit that I'm wrong and I'll be a jerk until u admit ur ass is huge and u want me to love you regardless of its size.

John: Whatever fag Steve. Washington has changed you.

Me: So, anyway. How's work?

So, it might have been funnier to us. But I can barely stop giggling as I type this out. Just wanted to share. :)


$.RYN.$ said...

i too make my sister laugh with bull shit lines.......they are an easy target.... :-)

Anonymous said...

Hehehehe, I love your convo at the end.

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