Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I'm not Josie Grossie anymore!

And here's the million dollar question: If you could go back and re-do high school, would you?

My answer would be "Yes, dear Lord, Yes!" on one condition, though. I would be able to take what I've learned about myself and the world with me.

I've been taking an inventory of the things that have changed in the past (gulp) seven years, especially in the last year or so. I wish I could go back and learn it a bit earlier!

*I never thought I was pretty. Not really ugly, but not pretty. How can you feel pretty when you're surrounded by (older) girls who've grown their boobies, straightened their teeth and have about five inches on all the other girls. Really, in junior high and high school, it's impossible. The ironic thing is this: child bearing destroyed the vain parts of my body but I appreciate it more. Maybe it's seeing the amazing transformation it went through that has me in awe. I still have those flaws, those insecurities but they're muted now. I hold onto these little idiosyncrasies as a reminder that there is no one like me, on the face of the planet. Will someone please tell that to a high school girl?!

*I remember, going to a party (I never drank, just absorbed the social atmosphere like a dried out sponge) and, in the midst of beer pong and horny couples, I talked about the love of Christ. What was I thinking? I don't mean to say that I wouldn't do that. But, how much more confusing can you get? Maybe I could have chosen a better time to witness. Or maybe not, Jesus did eat with the tax collectors.

*I can't say that I would be any more popular than I was *cough* wasn't. I'd probably be even less liked because I would be more vocal (kinda like.... now?). I've learned so much about the world and myself. Don't you just wish you could return- not for the entire four years- just for a few occasions where you knew that a crossroads was before you? Where you should have gone left but went right? Maybe it wasn't even a paramount moment, but something that left a lasting impression. I would stand up for myself. A lot. I never did that.

*I think, maybe, I wouldn't keep things so bottled up. Not letting out your emotions wreaks havoc. I'd find someone who I could trust and (forewarn them, first) just spill....

Let me know, would you go back? Why? Or why not?


Nomz said...

Weird! I was just thinking about this the other day....about how much I've changed, and how high school would have been so different if I had been *this* person.

I'd go back.

I think I'd be:

*less tolerant of dramatic girls, because reality is so much more stressful than any drama high school sends their way

*I'd be more fashionable...thank you, thank you Sarah, Ashley, and Danielle. Ha.

*I'd be more outgoing. I ran in every single crowd, was friends with SO many people, but rarely raised my voice with passion on a subject. Life has made me extremely passionate in the last (none of your business) years.

*I'd wouldnt take "spending money" for granted any more...having no bills is really something we had no grasp on then.

Grand blog!

firststarontheleft@gmail.com said...

Such an awesome idea for a blog! <3

If I had it to do all over again, I'd:

- Take more pictures, because there can never, ever be enough.

- Go to every single dance, because no one tells you that the only chance you'll have to dance AFTER high school is with all your drunk high school classmates... in a smoky bar... to mostly terrible music.

- Participated in every single lame dress up day during Homecoming. Well, except pajama day; that one always freaked me out.

- NOT used magazine cut-outs for the ceiling tile we decorated my sophomore year at East, which was thusly destroyed the second school started that fall. Fail.

Anonymous said...

I would do it for sure! I would have never dated one person all through high school. I would have spent more time in track and cross-country. I would have been in every single club you can think of. I would take the time to meet every single person in that school. Most people thought I was a stuck up person because I only talked to my one and only. I would have taken better classes. I know I never pushed myself enough. I also would have stood up to my choir teacher. She always made me feel like I couldn't sing which I know for a fact that is one thing I am great at. I also would have followed Casper College or even taken my full ride to that other school. All I know is I hope my kids learn from my mistakes.

Sazaran said...

Oh, yeah AND I would tell my dad flat out "NO" when he tried to convince me that oversized perscription glasses were cool. Bleah.

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