Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Beautiful Disaster

I'm sure you'll hear the news soon enough. It isn't quite legal (yet) but it soon will be. Rase is filing for divorce and before any rumors start floating 'round like little feathers- this is all his decision. If you want more details, you can email me. Or Facebook me.

It isn't a surprise to me, I saw it coming. Though we kept our issues as private as we could, I'm sure there were a few signs here and there that, if looked upon with enough thought, flashed their warnings. Am I heartbroken? Yes. Am I going to let it get the best of me? No. And, so, this is where I begin my healing. I've always been a silver lining sort of girl and in any bad situation I have taught myself that the best way to plow through on to the good side is to focus on the positives. With a little humor for good measure.

1. Now I can re-read my Twilight Saga Collection without the slightest guilt pangs of wanting Edward Cullen to come through my window every night and sing me to sleep.

2. I know this isn't the end of love. I know that there is another love-sick man out there, wishing for a love-sick woman like myself.

3. My wedding ring is beautiful. Admittedly, Rase did a good job when he picked it out. I don't know if I can part with it, but I don't know if I can keep it. So, I've found this site and might try one of the ideas:

* Melt it down into a tear drop? Oh, I would be Emo.
* Make a little casket and bury it?
* Sell it?
* Throw it into a Colorado river?

3. Get over it by buying a pair of kissing fish- yes, they DO kiss! I've had 'em before and they're seriously the cutest thing ever. How can you not have a positive outlook on love with these two hangin' around?

4. I'll invest in ME. Really, even though I'll be a single mama (sheesh, I never thought I'd say that) I can make it happen. The top priority here is to get my relationship with Jesus back on line.

5. I will forgive Rase. And it might take a little while, I know it will be necessary for Malachi.

Sometimes I think this all may be moving a little too fast. I might be getting over with it a little to early. But, then I remind myself that no good comes of wallowing. I've learned from my mistakes and I know I have the strength to pick up the broken pieces and, with help from The Lord, fashion a new life full of hope.

Isaiah 43: 18-19

“ Do not remember the former things,

Nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert."



Anonymous said...

Praying for you, SarahFace. <3

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear young lady...sounds like you are already...ready for this, so hang in there and keep your chin up.

What did I do with my first wedding ring from that failed marriage? I had the small diamonds taken out and put into a cute black hills gold ring. I eventually gave the ring to a special girl (now she is a beautiful young lady!) back when she lived in Cody. I felt she needs something special, a gift. And I sure didn't want the memories anymore.

Hugs to you! said...

It's only the beginning, strong girl. I'm super proud of you for looking ahead, above & beyond what the situation IS and trusting that what's to come is a greater adventure.

(Because it's going to be a beautiful ride, you know? And we'll bring Toblerone & pickle chips.)

Along for the ride always,

Anonymous said...

Ms Sarah. I know we don't know each other well but I am so sorry. You are a strong,wonderful women and a great mama. Remember god gives us these things through out our lives to deal with and at the time there happening we offton question why or how am I going to do this but I truley. Believe it is up to us to make the best of what is handed to us. You will hold your head up high one day and know it happened for a reason in the mean time remember you have friends some old some new but we are all here for you. You and Mal are always welcome to come to colorado with naomi
Hugs from colorado and we are praying for you.
Lov ya Cindy

Anonymous said...

The scripture I have leaned on when our marriage has gone through turbulent waters was Job 23:10. I offer it to you as you may feel you are at the end of your rope. You are not. God is hanging on with you every step of the way.

"But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."

(love you, from Naomi's Mom)

Anonymous said...

My heart is broken for you as if you were my own. Even more, I know how this breaks the heart of our God. But He is the God that will sustain you, heal you, and make you anew in Him. You are a fantastic mom, and a wonderful woman of God. Know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to be. In Christ, Nomz' Dad

Anonymous said...

We are praying for you Sarah. Divorce is an awful thing girl...but it's so much better to be truly happy for the rest of your life, than to just stay and endure unhappiness for God's sake. God will still love you, no matter your decision for divorce and no matter your future plans. God would rather see you love sincerely, than be miserable. Hang in there girl...

Junbzee said...

You have to be one of the strongest women that I know! You are awesome in every single way possible! You are a great Mom, teaching Mal to sign is so freaking awesome! You are a wonderful wife, you tried to very best to keep it going, and I give you huge props for that. I want you to know that I'm behind you 100% and I will help you in any way I can. I have to say tears filled my eyes tonight as I read your blog. I hate to see you hurt. I wish I could take all the pain away right now for you! I'll be praying for you, and I think we are in deedy going to see New Moon together to swoon over Edward. Much love to you sweetie!


maliaana said...

Sarah -
I have only "met" you thru this blog. You are stronger than you may realize. You have an extremely positive outlook on this bump in your life. This is wonderful not only for you, but for your little one.

As for your ring, I would suggest melting the ring down into a phoenix and reset the stone into the rising phoenix. For you, my dear, appear to be rising from the ashes...

good luck -

calamityjill said...

Best best best of luck to you, though I think you have a lovely, strong and intelligent head on your shoulders that can weather damn near anything.

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