Wednesday, November 25, 2009

♥Going through the motions...


Today has been hard. (Warning, this blog is slightly not sunny...). Last night I had a dream where Malachi and a close friend of mine got hurt and there was nothing I could do about it. Usually, when such a dream invade my beauty rest, I pray it away and go back to sleep. This one was a little clingy, though, and would not go away. Scared and awake I suddenly realized that I had no one next to me in bed that I could wake up and cuddle for comfort. That has been following me around all day. And it's one of those days where every song on the radio either holds some sort of memory, reminds you of your single status or rips apart the one who left (SRSLY, I do hope that every time you see my face it gives you hell). This girl has been on the verge of tears all day. I am angry. I'll admit it. I loved being married, caring for someone, creating a warm home. I wanted to have another baby soon; I wanted to decorate for Christmas, a house that I could call my own; I wanted to sign every birthday card, every anniversary card "Wifey".

For me, when I encounter days like today, I go to one place only: the presence of the Lord. Today, I didn't have a revelation so much as a total bear hug and significant peace. Am I cured? Not really, but I'm well on my way. I want to share what I got with some of the single mamas/divorcees/ladies that I know read our blog. I hope this helps you:

The Lord is my husband, my comforter, my strength, my bread-winner. He will be a father to my son, for He is a Father to the fatherless. He will protect me, romance me, cherish me, provide for me. He is my All in All and know everything I need and had promised to shelter me and take care of me. Worry not! He is all I need.

Please watch this video, it's amazing:






Sazaran

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Confession time....

When I first started reading the blog I was like:

I've been there. And I know she'll get through this. And I'm here for her. And she knows it.

Then, the more I read, the more I cried. I actually cried *at my desk* because I'm STILL THERE. With you, wishing for a wholesome environment, my dream environment, the place I created in my head...thought I was living. I just want to feel complete, and like I complete something else. I never, ever want my girls to feel brokenness or loneliness. I dunno. Rambling.

I can tell you that the word you posted, along with the video, has the tears still going. And for the record, no matter what time of day it is, I probably need a hug too...so text me.

Love you SarahFace.

Anonymous said...

Amazing blog, Miss Sarah. You really have opened your heart up and I am so thankful for the people you have in your life that are supportive and have enough experiences similar to help carry you through it. That song is amazing and I LOVE it. Thanks for sharing! You are loved!

Lover of your BLOG! said...

What an amazing and touching video...thanks for sharing Sarah. Also, thanks for writing about your dream and everything else.

We are all here for you and will walk you every single step of the way. You will never be alone... especially with God on your side!

Hugs!

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