Wednesday, November 25, 2009

♥Don't talk to strangers.

That rules applies to little kids only. Me? I like to have deep conversations with someone I've only just met. Try it on a telemarketer- it's fun. So, I got this random text the other night and this is how it all went:

Stranger: Look out ur window

Me: I did. There's nothing there. (And yes, I am a little paranoid at this point)

Stranger: no ur other window

Stranger: wait is this caleb?

Me: No! Hahahahahahaha

Stranger: Who is this did luc give me the wrong number?

Me: This is Sarah and obviously I didn't give you my number.

Stranger: Wait do you live in Boise?

Me: I used to. Who is this

Stranger: Thats not important. Do u know anybody with the last name of hardin

Me: If u want info u gotta give info my dear

Stranger: Is this caleb pretending to be sarah? $kyle$

Me: No

Kyle: I bet it is

Me: Well I don't know what to tell ya. Want me to send a pic of whats outside my window?

Kyle: That was a joke for caleb so that has nothing to do with you


Kyle: Yes, I recognize that

Me: You seemed confused so I thought I'd reiterate it for you.

Kyle: Caleb is a goofball and its not surprising that he would pretend to be someone named sarah

Me: I bet hes not as good looking as I am tho. Its hard to pretend that.

Kyle: How old are u?

Me: 100 minus 75

Kyle: 15 good god caleb is 13

Me: No honey, I'm 25. 100 minus 75 is 25.

Kyle: what the hell? wheres caleb?

Me: Dude. Who knows? Have you tried missing persons?

Kyle: What is tha?

Me: You know, when you don't know where someone is, you check with the police.

Kyle: no calebs brother just gave me the wrong number

Me: Well, I think you should beat him up. Or thank him because you just met the second coolest person.ever.

Kyle: he lives all the way in boise and i live in colorado

Me: Ohhhh well I just moved from Boise and i live just 30 minutes from co. is that a weird coincidence or what?!

Kyle: not really. ur bound to have the same area code since you lived in boise and its not like ur in co

Me: Well I think its FATE

Kyle: im 12 years younger ur a creeper

Me: Whoa. I never said anything about THAT. Fate can bring friends together. Get ur head outta the gutter and recognize a joke when you read it.

(Yes, at this point I thought, uh-oh. But, how did I know he was telling the truth?!)

Kyle: that wasn't a joke!

Me: Yes it was. Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you i have a great sense of humor

Kyle: ha what friends? hahahahahaha

Me: Psh. all SIX HUNDRED of them on my facebook. Ok thats an exaggeration i have 356

Kyle: doubt it i mean i don't even know you it would be pretty easy to lie about how many friends you have

Me: dude. have a little fath.

Kyle: fath? learn some god darn spelling

Me: Ok, if you're gonna be mean, i'm gone. At least I know my math.

Kyle: Ur 25 and hitting on little boys I wouldn't want to be friends anyway

Me: Get over yourself. I made it clear ur way outta my league. Like i said, BE NICE. or didn't your mommy teach you that?

Kyle: my mommy told me not to talk to strangers

Me: ok bye.

Kyle: Fine leave i mean who even voted for you? I didn't and everyone else who did is scratching their heads and saying whoops shoudn't of done that, ur administration.... (text got cut off)

Me: Riiiiight, you keep telling yourself that you uninformed uneducated brainwashed pre-teen (I do give myseld MAJOR comeback props for this one, people)

Kyle: ... is a hipocracy! and guess what our country is ripping apart at all the corners but no one wants to admit because theyre scared!

Kyle: I'm dying of cancer.

Me: I bet you are.

Kyle: the only thing in the world that makes me sick is people like you who don't even care if i die because to them i'm just another little boy with cancer.

Me: You are now blocked, cancer-boy. Have a nice day.

Kyle: Satan shall have thouse revenge.

WHATEVER.... this is what I get for trying to make strangers my friends. Some people's kids.



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