Wednesday, April 22, 2009

♫ We Might As Well Dance

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.
~Japanese Proverb

It’s become really apparent to me recently, both by the new people in my life lately, and my kids getting to that really overly honest age, that as we mature, we lose our ability to be honest, fresh, and real.

I don’t think this statement is completely true, nor does it span all people, it’s just a general observation. As we get older, we learn and are taught to, apply filters. We’ll call them "social cue’s".

I think we’re taught most of our lives not to be rude. Be honest, but sugar coat it. Offending people, hurting people, is not ok-even if it’s unintentional. When we’re little, we say things like "whoa, that is BIG lady", and we are quickly shushed or slapped for it. We learn that shouting "mamma! Why does that man only have one arm???", is cruel and none of our business. We realize that expressing "I hate doctors, shots, veggies, and all forms of torture so much I am going to scream and fight as big as I can until it ends!", is useless, because we’re going to be forced to visit the doctor, be poked by needles, and eat our veggies QUIETLY, regardless of fight. We are taught to deal with it.

I want to know why.

I don’t understand why honesty, has to be covered up by a compliment in order to keep someone from getting hurt feelings. I want to know why, as we get older, we get more sensitive to comments from older people. With the exception of one awesome dude that recently got offended by a five year old, everyone I know takes what kids say and think as humorous, entertaining, and honest covered by cute. We take it to heart, but because it was a "awww she’s only five and doesn’t know better" comment, it doesn’t sting.

I’ve mentioned before that "special needs" kids hold a special place in my heart. This probably has something to do with the way I was raised. My mom has loved them for as long as I can remember, and continues to focus on the really young ones in her position in the schools. The point is, these kids have always amazed me with their honesty. Like, God put this block up for them that doesn’t let them put filters on. And I LOVE it. I love, that they have the ability to express what we’re afraid to. I wish the world would learn from them, instead of trying to teach them. They never ever lose that light in their eyes when they’re excited, even with age. Their passion, never dwindles for both the things they cant get enough of, and the things they hate. They could care less what you think of it too. They express love, like nobody’s business.

My point of this whole blog, is that I don’t understand why we cant always be kids at heart. Why, as we age, are we taught to apply these filters on our thoughts, our actions, our voice, and our passions? Why is it rude to be curious about someone’s deformities? Especially since most of them, when asked, are happy to tell their story? Why is it rude to point out obesity? The media does it. And, maybe an extra dose of honesty, would get some motivation in play. It seems more rude to me, to whisper and hide it, then to be outright and tell them. Why cant we scream and kick at the doctors? They have enough staff normally in the room to hold us down. I would think they’d be grateful for making things more interesting.

You know that guy on Patch Adams? The grouchy old man in the hospital that screams at the nurse’s and throws bedpans at anyone that enters the room??? I am so gonna be that guy (well, girl, obviously) when I grow up. He’s my hero.

So...when we’re young enough to not have a care in the world, or privileged enough to never grow up, or old enough that life has broken our "give-a-damn", our filters don’t exist. My goal? To be more like my girls-innocent and brave, more like the special needs-always young at heart and ever-so-passionate, and the "OLD"-the ones that have unburied their young-at-heart that they worked so hard to bury. We need to be less afraid to look foolish, and realize we are the fools.

Yours Truly,

PS. My girls have manners. I don’t plan on pointing out everyone’s flaws, or letting my girls. I just want to be less afraid of honesty. Leave the filters on, but don’t let the passion die.

PSS. Eat your veggies. Scream all you want, but get’r done.

PSSS. Watch Patch Adams. Even if you’ve seen it, we can learn a LOT from that man, and every character in it.


Your adopted mom! ;) said...

Ahhhh yes....what it would be like to be young again! You are a very lucky woman to have grown up with a wonderful mother teaching you and exposing you to the wonderful "special needs" kids and their honesty! Great blog today!!

Anonymous said...

Great blog. Honesty has truly become lost because we are taught that it is more important to be "P.C." than to tell someone the truth. In my opinion, "P.C." is "B.S." It is far from un-Christian to tell someone the truth and I think too many people confuse being moral and ethical with being "nice". Sooo not the same thing.

P.S. There are 2 varieties of people I have learned to not upset. My waitress (or waiter) and my nurse. Anyone who brings my food to me from behind closed doors gets their butt kissed and I show my (dis)pleasure by leaving a tip or not. And as for nurses; would you tick off the person who can help you to be pain free and your ability to get to the bathroom on time?? Boo to throwing bed pans!!

Anonymous said...

don't kick the doctor please...... we get enough abuse already! Actually I think I have gotten cursed and threatened more often since getting into the healthcare industry than ever before. Some patients just think they know more about medicine than the provider because they took 20 minutes to read Web MD.......who needs years of medical training anymore, I mean really...LOL!

In other words, great blog! I totally agree....well except for the abusing doctors part ;)

Search the Daily Offensive!