Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Over The Shoulder Bolder Holder

*An upper decker flopper stopper.
*Boobie Baskets

No matter what you wanna call 'em (surprisingly,I wasn't able to locate more than four nicknames??) it is vitally important that you know how to wear one. Apparently, 80% of all women are wearing the wrong size. I wonder, how is that possible? After wearing an undergarment for 12-15 hours a day, you'd think one would notice if something doesn't fit quite right. Then again, when a trusted Victoria's Secret attendant tells you you're one size and you're actually another- I can see where things would get confusing.

SO, I did a little research and found out the following when it comes to bra size and fit.

First things first, here are some signs to look for if you're not wearing the correct size brassier:

1. You have "four boobs", where two little bumps spill out over the top of your bra, making it look like there are two sets of twins under your shirt.

2. There are red marks on your shoulder and/or back after you take your bra off.

3. Your bra slips around your rib cage or rides up/down- this is especially noticeable when wearing a strapless!

4. If your bra is too tight, it will make you look like you have "fake back fat"- definitely not nice.

5. When your boobies are holding hands (the uniboob look), the basket is woven just a little too tight.

When in the dressing room trying on that new (expensive?! Can I get an 'Amen!') lacy bra, here is how to make sure it will be fitting you just like a... er... bra.

-Adjust the straps to the maximum length.
-Lean forward into the cups and rest your breasts into the supports.
-Reach behind to hook the bra on the middle hooks of the closure.
-Put the straps on your shoulders.
-Position your breast in the cup by slipping a hand into the cup and lifting the breast while lining the underwire on your ribcage along the natural crease of your breast to prevent pinching of the breast tissue.
-Tighten the straps so that they support the breasts lightly without cutting into the skin or putting too much strain on the shoulders.
-Adjust the straps every time you put on a bra.

Yay! See how easy that is?! It does seem like rocket science in theory, but when you actually put it into practice, not only is it common sense, it actually works!

Finally, here are some boobie-licious signs of a good fitting bra:

1. The strap between your breasts should lay flat against your skin- no gaping or room for fingers, ladies!

2. The strap "behind" the cups should lay precisely between your elbow and shoulder.

3. Your shoulder straps should fit snugly, but you should be able to slip one finger easily between your skin and the strap. They should not slip off of your shoulders.

4. Your breasts should not spill out the top or sides.

5. Underwires, should be flat between your breasts and should not be sitting on your breast tissue at all. If the wires do no lay flat, go up one cup size.

To determine your size (for those of us not quite comfortable with a stranger doing the measuring):


Measure under your arms, high on your back, across the top of your chest. If this measurement is an even number, this is your band size. If an odd number, add 1" to determine your band size.


Measure loosely around the fullest part of your bust. Next, subtract your band measurement from your bust measurement; each inch represents a cup size. For example: if your band measurement is 34" and your bust measurement is 36", the difference between these measurements is two inches, and you'd wear a B-cup.

Pssst! No measuring system is fool-proof. If you're not sure you got the right measurements, jot down your findings, take 'em with you and try on a few different sizes at the store. Finding a good bra takes some work! Also, keep in mind the above signs for good and bad fit and remember that a woman's size will change about six times in her life! Don't get too down if you can't keep the same size from the time your twins show up to the time they show down.

For other useful hints about boobies and their holders, visit these sites:



As I have learned from experience, recently, you get what you pay for! If you shop at Ross for a $3 bra, you will get about one wear out of it. Or else it will drive you so crazy that you will want to rip it off in the middle of the store (which I do not recommend). However, if you save your monies and spend about $40+ on a bra you will be very happy with the results and your body image will thank you. :)


Wyoming Princess said...

You rock. A) For addressing the taboo of boobs and bras. B) For very practical tips. C) You and Nomz (and guest/ghost writers) rock for this site.

Nomz said...

Well, that was quite the blog to tackle, mah dear. Glad you took on the challenge. Excellent tips! Now I wanna Victoria Secret adventure. Anybody wanna come?!?!?

Thanks for reading and commenting Wyoming Princess! :)


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