Wednesday, November 26, 2008

We named it Daily Offensive for a reason...

I was recently sent a "tough love" email from a family member who doesn't agree with my strong stance against Obama and my strong convictions. Apparently, I'm too aggressive and confrontational.

At first, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of... well, the best I can explain it is that I felt like a little kid who has just be reprimanded for doing something that wasn't necessarily wrong. I didn't feel guilty. Just a little "butt-hurt".

After thinking about it for a while... I'm over it. Wasn't Jesus aggressive and confrontational? I mean, you don't go into the temple, whip the people in it for selling their stuff and turn over their tables without being confrontational or aggressive. Jesus' anger was one-hundred percent Righteous but that doesn't change what he did. In fact, he was so confrontational that the Pharisees considered Him a blasphemer.

I can just hear it now; the Pharisees complaining that Jesus was judging them- all the while, they're calling him a co-conspirator with Satan, of all people. I'll roll my eyes to that!

(No, I'm not calling you a Pharisee)

With all this in mind, I would just like to say to the people who read and are subscribed to our blog: we named it Daily Offensive for a reason. I guess there will always be at least one person that I will offend with my outspoken ways. Don't complain about being judged- I do not judge you. I'm calling you into accountability (and I do so from a heartfelt position as a fellow human being, short comings and all) and I invite you to do the same with me. I will weigh your words and pray about them, but I will not complain that you are judging me. We all need to be called to look at ourselves every once in a while- or else how will we grow? And I also want to say that I'm not sorry for anything I say on this blog- I say it for a reason.

“The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.”


-Sazaran

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Ghosts, Religion, and Schmitty-Nomz

“Ghosts are a metaphor for memory and remembrance and metaphorically connect our world to the world we cannot know about.”

LESLIE WHAT, interview, June 2002

Alrighty folks, time to dive deep. Bear with me. I am not sure on my standing in this. Let me use you for a ventilation system for my thoughts, and hopefully we’ll get quite the discussion going.

Do you believe in ghosts?

When I was growing up, when a door would suddenly blow shut, or we’d get chills on the back of our necks, or something would fly off the counter without rhyme or reason, our parents would say “Schmitty did it!”. That was their way, from my understanding, of saying “that was weird, let’s blame it on the invisible harmless”. We were never taught that Schmitty was a ghost, or really taught to believe one way or another on the subject. I’ve never personally had any “encounters” that I’m aware of. I don’t fear ghosts. I don’t fear the idea of ghosts. I find them intriguing if nothing else…and am open minded to the possibility. I’d love to go to a place where the hauntings and sightings are “guaranteed” just to see if we let our imagination get the best of us, or if something truly exists.

Until proven otherwise, this is my take.

I believe that the quote at the top of this blog nails it on the head. Ghosts are a metaphor, or a symbol, of what is left behind, or what is to come, or what we hope is still with us. I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit. I do not believe that people can be haunted or that ghosts are necessarily harmful or evil. I will not believe that they are spirits of those that have things left behind or that their destination un-chosen or undecided.

I believe two things.

#1. “Ghosts” is not only a transparent spirit or being, it is also a transparent, or shape-shifting word. It can be taken many ways and used in many ways. I believe that the power of Satan, along with his demons, has the power to make you believe or even convince many that one is haunted, evil, or harmful. But I also believe they have the power to take on many shapes, forms, and beings, “ghosts” being one of them. But should you choose to whole-heartedly believe that it can be conquered by God, it cannot be harmful to you.

#2. People that die have a predetermined destination, immediately. I don’t believe that you can choose to stay in a realm of haunting, a realm of indecision, or change your mind half way there.

Again, as we require you to be open minded, I will do the same, and I look forward to a good discussion. Do you believe in ghosts? Have you had any “encounters”? If you have religious standing, please share that too!

Monday, November 24, 2008

The One-Upper

You know... THAT friend. The one that always has to be better (or worse) than anyone around them.


Me: I would love to meet the Newsboys one day. 

One-Upper: Oh, I've met them and let me tell you, they're amazing people.

OR

Me: My labor was pretty rough.

One-Upper: I'll bet that my labor will be worse, the way my body works and all...


I think everyone has at least one friend like this. What is it with this person? Why the stellar ego trip? The victim mentality? I'll tell you; they're attention mongers. Big time. But, what they don't get is that their little stories backfire almost all the time. Rather than getting the attention they're seeking, everyone starts to get irritated by them. 

I also think that this One- Upper is married to Discord Among Friends. Yup, together they just love to get the dirt on other people and go spread it among the other friends. So that they can always be the good guy. Makes sense. 

So, rather than being a jerk and telling this one person off, I'm going to tell that person that they don't need to go looking for attention. People like them just the way they are. BUT, if they do keep it up.... things will backfire. Like they always do. 

Dun dun dun. 

Take a look at this, it will elaborate on everything I may have missed:


Saturday, November 22, 2008

A Mother's Love





Just wanted to brag about my beaufitul little Scooby Doo. :) We had bath time last night and my gorgeous husband was there, camera in hand, ready to create memories! So, I guess this blog is to brag about both boys in my life.

Scooby Doo is now 5 moths old and probably 20lbs- definitely 28", maybe more. He's going to grow up big like his daddy. I've already set the boundaries though: no buying alcohol for your buddies when you're older (because he'll probably look older than he is); you can date at a reasonable age, but I get to pick the girl; when someone littler than you gets picked on (you better not be the picker, like your dad was) you need to stand up to the bullie!

So, there, I feel like the approaching teenage years will be a piece of cake. And I'll try my hardest not to be a "Marie". Dear Lord, please don't let me turn into a "Marie".
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone

Friday, November 21, 2008

A Teeth Scraping Good Time!

You know, they say that “God has a sense of humor. If you need an example, go to WalMart and look around.”


Funny, but not nice. I ranted about WalMart last week. I think we’ve all had our frustrations. I decided to go a little bit further. Walmart to me is like listening to someone scrape their teeth on their fork when they’re eating. It gives me goosebumps…and not the good kind either.


This girl is a germaphobe, clutter phobe, and claustrophobic…and should not even be venturing into a place like Walmart.


I love how on the credit card machines they post little surveys. Was your store clean today? Was the sales associate nice? Uh…that’s a no, on both, almost always. So yes, I think in a sense, Walmart is an example of God’s sense of humor. I’d like to think he laughs at my querks though (the way I use my Purell at least twice through the store, step over the scary things on the floor, and the look on my face when I see interesting people that cant drive their carts), not the faults of the people I am watching. Being a people watcher, I can tell you that the crazy cat lady’s, the homeless, the soccer mom, the old lady with nothing better to do, the handicapped (physically and mentally), and the down right odd people (you know, the ones that have to grab the second gallon of milk just because, or the ones that sift through all the potatoes to find the best ones-you cant pick good potatoes people, they’re all the same!, the ones that spend hours sampling the cheese, the drunk ones, the dirty ones, etc.) all shop there at the same time. And as much as it is entertaining, I don’t typically find it humorous.


Always loving all flavors of people, and doing my best to find that silver lining in all things, as frustrated as I get sometimes…I try to be thankful for the oddities of Walmart.


Thankful that I have a place to get everything I need, including my fill of people watching. Thankful as I look around that I could always have it worse. Thankful that I have a great job. And really, quite blessed that someone invented both Purell and cheese samples (yes, I am that weirdo).


Alright, I promise, the next blog wont be about walmart, or teeth scraping on forks (because I know if you have that problem too, even the thought of it is making you cringe right now). Happy Friday!


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

On behalf of all women...

When he kisses you he isn't doing anything else. You're his whole universe..and the moment is eternal because he doesn't have any plans and isn't going anywhere. Just kissing you...it's overwhelming.

 

Oh, be still my heart. I love this quote. Love Love Love it. And why do I love it? Because I am a woman! I love to be romanced, cherished and swept off of my feet. It used to be a common occurrence for me- those butterflies- when I was told, in a soft sweet voice very close to my ear that I am beautiful. Or the little note slipped into my hand upon passing that read “I love you with all my heart. Kiss”. Ahhh, romance.

 

And then I got married.

 

I would like to put the word out there on behalf of all married women everywhere… even those that deny this blog. We want to be romanced!!

 

Why, men, does it fly out of the window like a freed dove when the ring goes on the finger? Seriously, are vows the last ditch effort in being romanced? Why do you put so much effort into capturing our hearts and then slack when you have them? I, personally, am tired of being humped, I want to be romanced. And, here I give some advice (and explain the hump thing).

 

I’ve often wondered (before I was married, anyway) why trashy, romance novels are so popular among us ‘desperate housewives’. And then, I figured it out. Each book is a memoir of the man we used to know, the man we fell in love with. He is trapped in that book and because, in real life, our man makes no effort in tucking that loose strand of hair behind our ear, we must find him elsewhere.

 

Men, you were created to be chivalrous! God created you to wrap your arms around your wife; to protect her, cherish her, love her, honor her… sound familiar? Marriage is to be the closest example of God’s love toward us. Jesus is the bridegroom and His church is the bride. Men are encouraged to love their wives even as Christ loved the church. Yes, it is about laying down your life the way Jesus did on the cross; but, I believe that its also about romancing your wife as Christ romanced the church! We were not randomly saved- Jesus romanced us into salvation!

 

It is the mainstream stereotype: the horny husband and the book bound wife. Hence: my humping complaint. Men think, for some reason, that gyrating and groping will get them what they want. Here is a little secret—it won’t! You want your wife to be all over you? Kiss her on the neck before you leave for work. Look her in the eyes for a while and then, ever so softly, tell her that she is the woman of your dreams. I can promise you that if you make this kind of behavior a habit, you will get that woman of your dreams.

 

Romance is a two way road, I know. But, it’s so much easier for you to make that first act; she will then hold your hand and romance you in return. Thus, love has entered your hearts once again.

 

So, I want to encourage all husbands, LOVE your wives by romancing them! They are soft hearted and tender and although some husbands may think, “You don’t know my wife- she hates flowers and chocolate will make her feel fat! I know she doesn’t need that romance stuff”… you couldn’t be farther from the truth. For some reason (I haven’t even figured it out yet) women don’t want to have to tell their men how to be romanced- they want them to figure it out on their own- maybe because its so much more special that way. SO, if  you need help or ideas, check out this link: http://www.romanceforeveryone.com/article/how-to-romance-your-wife.html.

 

Good luck!

 

-Sazaran

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A short story I wrote back in highschool

Sarah stirred slightly; a cold draft wrapped around her shoulders, and she reached for her blanket. But instead of feeling her usual bed sheets, and comforter… she felt a cold hard surface.

Sarah awoke with a start. Where was she?

She opened her eyes, but all she saw was darkness. She tried to wave her hand in front of her face.

Nothing.

Sarah’s heart began to race. Slowly she stretched out her legs, waiting… hoping to feel the end of her bed. She didn’t.

Lying on her back she swept her arms around herself, as if she were making a snow-angel. She felt walls.

Walls? Why were there walls so close?

Sarah panicked.  She tried to sit up, but half way up, her head made harsh contact with some sort of ceiling. She winced, and lay back down, trying to steady her breathing as she figured out a reasonable explanation.

Wait… was that?!

Sarah held her breath… she had heard a faint noise.

There it was again. A low, deep growl.

Sarah fought back the tears that were raging in side of her.

Please…. Please. Someone help me.

Sarah’s mind raced. Where was she? Why was she here? How did she get here… and, Please, God, let there be a way out.

The thing growled again. This time it sounded closer.

Then, she felt it. A warm pant… a sof,t most zephyr across her skin.

Its  breath.

Sarah reflex kicked in and she tried to move out of the way; as she did she felt a quick sharp pain. It was bearing its teeth onto her skin.

Sarah cried out in pain.

Her mind told her to stay calm, but her body rebelled

She began to kick, punch, pull hair, hit, scratch- Anything to deter the attack.

Her muscles began to turn to rubber, she’d lost feeling in her legs and her lungs screamed for air.

But she kept kicking, and pulling.

Her head pounded, and her vision blurred. She was losing consciousness…

Sarah? Sweetie?

Sarah recognized the voice immediately. It was her mom…. But why was her mom there? Was she okay? Did the thing try attacking her, too? Thoughts raced though her mind- horrible visions of what could have happened to her mom.

She was losing it.

Sarah?

Was she losing her mind? Sarah tried to break free from her assailant. She moved but it pulled her back down, refusing to give up on its prey so easily.

Something began shaking her.

Wha….

Sarah! Wake up!

Sarah’s eyes fluttered open. She swung, and missed her mom.

Sarah, wake up

Soaked in sweat, Sarah regained consciousness. She looked around, she was back in her room, her bedside lamp illuminated everything. There was no animal, no monster.

Just her mom… and sweet, sweet safety.

Mom! Something…. There was… are you okay? Did it get you, too?

Honey, you’re safe. Nothing was here. You’re okay.

But….

Shhhh. Just go back to sleep you’ll be okay. Sarah’s mom kissed her forehead and left the room.

There was no way Sarah was going back to sleep. Not tonight.

She slowly proper herself up and looked around; as she did she cringed in pain.

She looked down and saw blood.

It was coming from her forearm- the exact place she’d been bit.


-Sazaran

Be Creative or you Can't Play :)

1-​​Name somet​hing a claus​troph​obic perso​n shoul​d not get into?​​

2 What one thing​ does a woman​ spend​ the most time on when getti​ng ready​?​​

3- What is a Spani​sh word that every​one knows​ the meani​ng of?

4- Name somet​hing in your bathr​oom that you leave​ plugg​ed in all the time?​​

5- Besid​es golfe​rs,​​ what is somet​hing you'​​d see on a golf cours​e?​​

6-​​Name a house​hold chore​ you actua​lly enjoy​?​​

7-​​Name somet​hing you walk on?

8-​​Name a place​ where​ you see nervo​us peopl​e?​​ 

9-​​Name somet​hing that can be cherr​y flavo​red?​​

10-​​Compl​ete this phras​e:​​ "​​I'​​ll never​ forge​t my first​ _​​_​​_​​_​​_​​"​​:​​ 

11-​​Name anoth​er word for "​​Dad"​​:​​

12-​​Name anoth​er word for "​​Mom"​​.​​

13-​​Name somet​hing a marri​ed coupl​e might​ want to have 2 of:

14- Whats​ somet​hing you say when you want to break​ up?

15-​​Name somet​hing that is sold by the bunch​?​​

16-​​What age would​ you retir​e if you had enoug​h money​?​​ 

17-​​Name somet​hing you'​​d find on a kitch​en table​?​​

18-​​Name somet​hing that rhyme​s with "d i z z y":

19-​​Tell me how many peopl​e you kisse​d last New Year'​​s Eve? 

20-​​Name somet​hing you'​​d see in a jail cell?​​

21-​​Name an occup​ation​ where​ you might​ work all night​?



Monday, November 17, 2008

I heart Target!-Nomz

While retail sales seem to be low for almost every store at the moment, WalMart has actually shown an increase in revenue. This amazes me…mostly because every single person I know loathes WalMart.

I had to go there this weekend for some reason…and realized that I have pretty much the same gripes every time.

*I hate how people drive their shopping carts. If they drive their cars anything like their shopping carts, it’s no wonder most of us a have a bad case of road rage, and there are so many crappy drivers out there.

*People seem to forget HOW to park. You know what I mean, you’ve seen the people drive up the down rows, make up their own parking spots (especially in the handicap area), somehow take up five spots with their little VW bug, and park so close to the next car that unloading your goods is near impossible.

*The Quick Check-out Line. Probably my biggest peeve of all. Just because the sign says 25 items or LESS does not mean as close to 25 (32 is close if you round down right) as possible. If you have half a cart full of stuff, be nice enough to get in a normal line! And why oh why are the especially slow or superbly old checkers running the “Quick” checkout lines????

I could probably go on most the day about WalMart…but while I was there last, I realized that there are some positives or people wouldn’t go there. So…in order to achieve my goal of finding a little good in everything, it’s only fair to try and look on the bright side.

*They cater to the lower class…I am not sure cater is the word, but they employ what most wouldn’t.

*They’re convenient…I love that I can go there and get everything. When you have a big ol’ list and a few grouchy kids…that’s huge.

*Where else can you find a handicapped (physically) person that will offer you a cart?? (If you’ve never heard Rodney Carrington’s take on this, take a listen-more than mildly offensive though…but to give you an example: “Sure I’ll take a cart, hop up and get me one!”) Really though, the greeters are always more than nice…nicer than I could be in their line of work.

*Everything is marked down…but you gotta wonder, if they’re lowering prices every day…when will this stuff be free?!

*Most are open 24 hours! This is a grand thing…especially at 2am when there is nothing better to do?! Let me tell you, there are some strange things in there at 2am…

*McDonalds! WalMart cutters, or something like that (no, not people that cut themselves, the ones that cut hair). SO, you can get your food, diapers, dog food, sprinklers, tires rotated, fabulously unhealthy food, and your hair cut, all in one shop!

There’s my gripes…and loves…of WalMart. I heart Target!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

This just in... sort of

WATERBURY, Vt. -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.
"PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.
PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.
"The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn't make sense," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. "Everyone knows that 'the breast is best,' so Ben & Jerry's could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk."

All right, let me just begin this blog by saying: EWW, EWW, EWW. C'mon PETA, we all know that you're one fry short of a happy meal, one dime short of a dollar or one sandwhich short of a picnic, but this really is going too far. Human's milk? Let me list just a few of the reason why this has got to be the lamest attempt at saving your precious cows:

1: We don't have to pay cows for their milk. Can you even calculate the cost of paying hundreds (maybe thousands) of women for their milk?

2: Cows produce a lot more milk than women, can you imagine how many women it would take to produce that of one cow?

3: Personally, I don't want to know why my own breast milk tastes like, much less another womans!

4: The food that cows eat can be controlled. Grass is pretty easy to make and not a whole lot goes into it. You'd have to control a woman's diet to make sure that there wasn't anything in her milk that was "bad".

5: "This raises ethical questions. It is not a good idea to pay for milk because it might tempt mothers to put profit before their children." -Swiss association of breast feeding counselors spokesperson Christa Müller-Aregger

6: HIV can be passed on through breastmilk. Each woman would have to be tested before selling her milk- this could also be very costly.

I think that the Ben & Jerry's spokesperson said it best, "... we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child."

I am totally, 100% FOR the ethical treatment of animals. But, there has to be a balance. Without balance, the world would go crazy. For those of us who prefer to treat humans better than animals, I recommend checking out http://www.pathwai.org/. :) Have fun!

-Sazaran

Friday, November 14, 2008

A day for movies...

Culvers is a pit of abdominal pain- do not eat there. I am regretting that butter burger with cheese- although their homemade root beer is num-yummy. :)

God acts in mysterious ways. Had I not got up in the middle of the night because my stomach was protesting my lunch, I would not have noticed the lovely three inch blanket of snow covering Cheyenne. And with that began my early morning of scraping, shoveling, swiping and sweeping. I’m not a fan of winter, you could say; I’ve tried protesting it. But, no one cares about my preference for sunshine over cold, bitter, dangerous (shall I go on?) snow.

Global warming my ass.

But, being the idealist that I am, I always see a silver lining. Days like today allow me to get in my desired movies and add check marks to that list I have compiled. Mmmm I love independent films. So, I’ve decided to share my list of favorites with you (not all of these are indie films). Check ‘em out! They’re so much better than the cookie-cutter Hollywood movies. So much better.

* Dancer in the Dark (Bjork is in this and she is AMAZING- not her usual weird, sorta creepy amazing. Just simple amazing.)
* Shop Girl (adapted from his novella, Steve Martin wrote, directed and stars in this love story. Its bitter sweet, with a little more sweet)
* Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (I cannot tell you enough how much I adore this movie- have seen it about 300 times)
* The Fall (weird movie, but I still enjoyed it. BEAUTIFUL scenery, heartbreaking plot)
* Love Liza (Being a dark comedy, this movie will depress you, but like I said earlier. Its so much better than a Hollywood movie.)
* Brick (the dialog in this film is brilliant; it makes you have to pay attention)
* The Painted Veil (not indie, I don't think. But, such a warm hearted movie, nonetheless)
* Nobody Knows (heart wrenching, foreign)
* Amelie (hilarious! So unique, foreign)
* Acts of Worship (a true story about a drug addict)
* Love Me If You Dare (great foreign chick flick)

I have oh, so many more movies stored in my memory. Maybe I'll post some later. Would love it if people posted their own favorites and even some reviews on the ones I have listed!

-Sazaran

Thursday, November 13, 2008

A Conversation-Nomz

So there we were, peacefully watching a movie when my two year old, we’ll call her ‘Angel’, decides to throw her infamous attitude at me. Let me tell you, this girl has passion, drive, and serious attitude. If you’re been among the few to see that look she gives me outta the corner of her eye right before she says or does something that she knows will get a reaction, you know what I mean. Attitude back makes things worse, so we’re going to love her through it and for it!





So there we were, in the middle of the living room after a somewhat peaceful dinner where only once she told me “mamma, you eat your own food!”. And this conversation transpired:

Angel: “Mamma, go get me cup!” (Yes, because she’s still learning to talk, she talks like a pirate quite a bit)

Mamma: “Angel, you have to give me a hug every time you give me ‘tude’!” (as I grab her and wrap her up)

Angel: “No mamma, you hug a dude!” (Yes, she took out several words in the middle of my order and turned that right around on me)

More hugs, lots of giggles, and something neither of us will forget. She told me that again this morning when she woke up. She gave me that look…those big ol blue eyes looked up and sparkled through her hair and she wiggled that nose and said “Mamma, you hug a dude!” and took off around the corner.

Moral of the story: Love people through their quirks, hug them when they get on your last nerve, and make it a point to hug a dude today! Or at least…let your passion shine and let your ‘tude get you thru the day.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Bouncing Girls? -Nomz

Funny Kids Ecard

It so happens that Miss Sazaran and I were discussing “the ladies” today. Not the female specimen, but the body part. Yes men, women DO talk about them. No, we don’t stand around topless while we hang out, nor do we compare them (ok sometimes)…there isn’t such a thing as boob envy-at least not out loud-but they are a topic of discussion, I would say, semi-regularly.

This named discussion involved their nicknames. Now…we all know that they’re publically referred to as many things: Knockers (tend to be large), Noobs (very little), Chest Jellies (what?!), Chest Butt (the infamous cleavage crack), Judith boobs (Holy Crap?!), Dairy Cannons (seriously?), Mary Kate and Ashley, and Hooter McBoob (for those of you with man-boobs). Yes I know there’s a million more, and yes men, we know your language…saying something to your buddy like “Did you see those headlights?” isn’t by any means sneaky. Can I let you in on a secret? Given that they are just slightly lower than our eyes, we can tell you’re not looking us in the eye when you’re talking to us. We know you’re just being nice when you say you prefer a handful-the rest is a waste. Please. Spare us.

Eh hem, back to the discussion. These, are not the names we were referring to. I discovered today, that some women, actually have nicknames for their beloved ‘ladies’. Similar to men naming their boastfuls, we tend to over exaggerate, pad them, push them up, and yes, name them. I shouldn’t say ‘we’. I never have even debated a name, nor do I know anybody that has…apparently, I am not that kind of girl. Is this truly the norm?!

This post was made to make you smile, but the discussion is serious.

I have a few questions (for both my gents and my girls). Why oh why are these things so highly discussed and treasured, but something that will turn up the heat on this blog and offend some? Is it truly attractive to see a woman running?? Why do we name our body parts? Do you? Do you dare share? If you dont, share one for friend, or enlighten on us on more slang!

LMAO... dedictaed to my mom


My mom's new goal is to laugh. A lot. With anyone. As much as she can. And I think she's genius! Not only is laughing pretty much the funnest thing you can do, its also really heathy. But, we know that!

 Here are some medical facts about the benefits of laughing. Take a look at: http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm. 

 A good hearty laugh can help:

§  reduce stress

§  lower blood pressure

§  elevate mood

§  boost immune system

§  improve brain functioning

§  protect the heart

§  connect you to others

§  foster instant relaxation

§  make you feel good.

Proverbs 17: 22 "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones"

For a good laugh, checkout this website (http://craftastrophe.net/) I tell ya, I was nearly peeing my pants.  

And here are some wonderfully hilarious, deep thoughts to get you back on track to a healthier you! J

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. 

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.

Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: Straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go "Whoa! Whoa!" and flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in.

For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new name for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head." Normally you would think that "Fly Head" would mean a person who has beautiful swept-back features, as if flying through the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean "having a head like a fly"? I'm afraid some people might actually think that.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what *really* throws you into a panic. 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Life's Tingley's-Nomz

“I actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life—so why did I feel like none of it resembled me?” (Eat, Pray Love-Elizabeth Gilbert)-Read it!

Know that feeling? I think we’ve all been there. If you haven’t, you will. At some point, you’ll wake up, look around, and wonder how you got there and where to go next. The question is not if it will happen, but when. And when it does, are you ready? Are you ready to feel loneliness to the depth of your core? Are you really ready to find out who’s been behind you or next to you, and who’s been holding you back or shoving you down?

It seems, some of us like to remain in that “safe” place. The place where we are comfortable, the place that feels “ok”. We’d rather not take a leap and find out what’s on the other side of misery. We prefer to stay stuck in the mud, content with the way life has turned out, even though things could get better with a little risk. That’s ok! I really truly believe there are two kinds of people. There are the kind that prefer “comfortable”, and there are the kind that prefer “life’s tingely’s”.

The kind of people that enjoy to be tingled constantly, are risk takers. The ones that get hurt more than anybody else. The ones that stick themselves out there to be attacked. It’s hard. It’s scary. But you feel every bit of life to the fullest extent. You get goosebumps when you hear the right voice hit the right note in the perfect song. You fall in love so deep that it makes your ribs hurt because you ache for them so hard. You get shattered to pieces because you love somebody with everything in you. You have to leave people behind that are holding you down. Do you really think that the people at the top of the ladder in life got there by being “comfortable”? By being ok with settling with whatever hand life dealt them? I don’t think so! It takes passion, drive, and risk. It takes heartache. It takes loss. I…will always feel the tingley’s in life. Always.

Two challenges.

#1. Comment on this blog with a way that you’ve felt tingley’s…or the reason you prefer to be comfortable (that’s ok too!)

#2. Make a list of things you want to do before you die, and start doing it. Who knows what tomorrow holds.

“If you desire your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author, and every day you have the opportunity to write a new page.” --Mike Houlahan

To our Veterans


We love and appreciate you. This is for you:


Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul.  ~Michel de Montaigne


Only 44 days!


I know, I know- don't start a countdown already! BUT... I... can't... help... it! 


For years now, Christmas has been such a disappointment for me. Since the divorce of my parents, all the sparkle and magic of the holidays has just wilted. I mean, last year, my dad's wife bought a shrub with glitter as our Christmas tree. Are you kiddin' me?! C'mon people, the birth of our Saviour isn't just another day. Its a day meant to be the most celebrated, the most cheerful and the most decorated!!

Having a baby has changed all of that for me. I'm so excited to teach my lil Scooby Doo the traditions we have as a family and see his face when I turn the Christmas tree lights on! I'll take delight in his excitement over the box his present came in, rather than the present itself.

Rase and I have decided that we're not doing the whole Santa thing. We'd rather honor Jesus by giving Him the credit for all those delicious presents under the tree (I can just see it now, Scooby Doo telling the kids in his class where presents really come from. Eeek).  Plus its just too much work to wrap all those presents (with him being the only grandkid on my side, there will be a million) the night before the Big Day, dressing up, the stories, etc. I'm sure all the parents out there know. And then, there's the day when my little Scooby Doo tells your little angel that there is no Santa. So, you have to call me and ask why he did that and I have to explain how we raised our child; that night you have to calm your little angel before putting them to bed, assuring them that its not the end of the world and that Santa most definitely is the hero of Christmas... (inhale)... see what I mean? Jesus is the only way...

And in honor of my Christmas spirit, I'm posting our Christmas Family Photo- its a gem. :)

Merry Christmas!!!

Search the Daily Offensive!