Friday, December 18, 2009

♥You have to kiss a lot of frogs...

It's funny how things work out, aye? This little diddy is right on the heels of my last, very entertaining blog.... and I wrote it first!

Just for the record, I have never had this much attention from the male species, in general. So, I thought I'd just share my agenda or, more aptly put, my lack-of-agenda and a short list of guidelines to wooing this lady; taken from past and recent experience. I think it's a good idea for a woman of any age to have guidelines, to guard her heart.


Call me old fashioned, but this girl's knees go weak when a man opens every door, guides her by the small of her back and walks her to her doorstep at the end of the night. Unfortunately, chivalry is about as common as the great white tiger. Sure, I know women like to be "independent" and "self-sufficient" but romance calls for a little grandeur. For those of you, men, that really try to be a gentleman I give you major KUDOS.


If I don't laugh while we're out, it's likely that there won't be a second date. Even to diffuse an awkward situation, it is highly appreciated.
“Laughter is the way to true love.” -Unknown
“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” -Victor Borge
“Really, sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered - and I still do - which is more important.” -Hermione Gingold

Speaking of kisses:

No, I do not kiss on the first date. Or the second. Remember, patience is a virtue. Oh, and do try to remember that it is all in the kiss. 1.) Keep your lips moisturized, no one likes to swap spit with sand paper; 2.) Minty-fresh breath goes a looong way; 3.) If you're drunk, don't even try it. Kisses on the chin, upper lip only or left nostril will provoke gag reflex and later gushing of horrifying moment to closest friends.

Who pays?

I once heard that the one who pays for the date is the one who requests the date. I disagree. Along those old fashioned ways, I'm keeping to "the gentleman pays". That has dual meaning. If he is a gentleman he will pay; even if I ask for the date, he will pay. Just as with chivalry, this is pretty much extinct. But, if a man is after a woman's heart, this is the smallest gesture to show that he will take care of her, should she hand over her heart. This is a big one with single mamas, too.

In the end, I think the most important thing to remember is to Dating doesn't have to be a serious, ulcer-inducing event; even if he is truly a nice guy, there is no pressure to fall in love. Friendship that blossoms into something more will always be the best road taken. So, please, let us know your tips, rules and or funny experiences that had you thinking second thoughts on the scary subject of dating!



Prairie said...

Sarah! I couldn't agree more. Chivalry is such a sweet gesture. Especially holding the arm or small of the back. You know what really melts me? When a guy offers his jacket. Especially if it smells like good cologne. WIN.

And, I'm a very independent person, so I usually request that we go "dutch" on an informal date, because that's just how I roll most of the time anyway. Of course, if the guy asks me out, and we go somewhere nice, and it's truly a "DATE" date, then I'm okay with him paying. At least the first time :)
Also? While I'm all for feminism, I don't think being a feminist means that women don't deserve to be "woo-ed" a little bit. It melts my heart, in all honesty. Just the little things. So guys, here's some ideas for you that will win you big-time points:

1.Do something spontaneous on a random day. Like, leave a daisy on my winshield. Or surprise me after work with a movie and a pizza. It really doesn't take much.
2. Don't go out with me and then leave it hanging. Maybe we didn't click. But if we did? Call me in at least two days, even if it's just to set something up for later. Or email. Whatever. The point is... MAKE CONTACT. Because I'm probably freaking out wondering what happened.
3. I'm ok with a little smooch, maybe on the second or third date. Especially if we're clicking. If the moment presents itself, go for it. Preferably under twinkle lights, after a glass of wine :)

Anna Avery said...

I couldn't agree more. For a long time I thought that these type of men were extinct.... and let me tell you... they are not. I married one. There are still a few of these men out there who will treat you like the queen you are, and make you feel so special. Best wishes in your search.

Reese said...

I agree with everything---minus the payment arrangements.

Who says the guy has to pay? My very first date with Ross I was surprised when we went Dutch. I think I assumed all that chivalrous hoo-hah.

I think it should just be set by offering right away: "How about I treat you to a movie on Friday?"

Otherwise...could definitely be an awkward situation. It doesnt mean a guy can provide or cant later down the road---especially with the economy right now. It just means that the next time, the other person should definitely offer.

Sazaran said...

Prairie, you are a hopeless romantic after my own heart!!

Reese, you make good points, but I'm sticking to my old fashioned ways. I've ever been on has been requested for and paid by a guy and it wasn't awkward at all. Then again, I'm not one to ask for dates... maybe, I should have added that to my list?? :)

Jess said...

Excellent blog Naomi--and patience is a virtue for us ladies too....we have true self respect when we are patient enough to wait for that "prince" :) I would also say that the best dates and the ones (to me) that mean a lot to me and show his interest and affection are the ones that involve "outside of the box" activities like "hiking, picnics, or sledding with the kids" (big plus for a single mama when he enjoys hangin' out and playin' with the kids)
Datin' can be scary, but only if you allow it to be--if you stick to self respect and go in with a "have a fun time" attitude it usually always turns out great for both parties whether it turns into a 2nd date, or you find a new buddy. :)
Any new DPC?

Sazaran said...

Jess, I wrote it. :)

I do agree with your out-of-the-box comment; I always thought a theme part or fair would be a fun date. :)

More DFCs to come!

Jess said...

Ooops my bad! :) Sorry Sarah....EXCELLENT blog! :)

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