Monday, December 21, 2009

♫ Random Monday: 12/21/09

~It’s been a few weeks since I did one of these. We’ve been so busy with other blogs! I mean, did you notice the amount of blogs Sazaran posted for you this week?! Plus, she totally caught on to my Random Monday idea and played in that sandbox today. Check it out. It’s a good one…all musical and stuff.

~I will be completely honest, Christmas is stressing me out this year. Bad. Financially, I’m worse off right now, well the last year really, then I ever have been. It’s been a trick trying to budget for three, on one income. I’ve been blessed to have such a great support system that are working their tails off to make sure my girls get to experience Christmas to its fullest. You know who you are. And you will understand when Christmas is slim pickin’s this year. I think everybody is feeling the crunch, which makes me feel both a little better, and really heavy hearted. I don’t understand why we don’t all just get born, and then get a million dollars for being born. Seriously, they should pay us to come in to this world…and then teach us how to manage it.

~Lady Antebellum has a new song out…which makes me want to skip like a school girl with cute pig-tails. Take a listen!

~I hate watching my friends go through things with their friends that are out of my control. Because not only is it completely out of my control, but I can’t even say much without feeling like I’m crossing a line. I mean nothing is as it seems, so it’s not my place to try and squeeze my puzzle piece in to their jigsaw, you know? My piece just wont fit.

~I miss my best friend.

~Wednesday is going to be epic. My girls are playing gymnastics, and every last Wednesday anybody who wants to can come and watch…and the audience planning on coming is quite the mix. We’ll call it a collision of realities.

~I am probably most impatient with ungratefulness over everything else. It drives me crazy when people spend money like they’ve got deep pockets, but hold on to it and control it when it comes to giving. Or when people are given things, and they assume they deserved or earned it, rather than being thankful. Money is a necessary evil, but it isn’t everything. And it pisses me off.

~There is no better sound than my girls laughter. None. I haven’t traveled the world and seen the Seven Wonders, but I really think a child’s laugh is like the Eighth Wonder that hasn’t been completely discovered yet.

~I’m playing White Elephant tonight, which should not be confused with White Santa. But is, really easily.

~I love peanut brittle, and the smell of Christmas. The season of Christmas, the fact that love seems to wrap its big ol’ arms around everybody in one room, regardless of past or present circumstances, and makes it feel like home.

~“God places some very loving people in our lives to not replace the gap, but to help fill it. I'm beginning to accept and learn that sometimes God allows us to have (or not have) certain relationships for a season and if they at some point in time begin to fade, it doesn't make it less important or forgotten--it stays as a beautiful memory and allows our hearts to be more open and forgiving towards others. know that you and your girls are so surrounded by God's blessings and love! Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Sometimes, I feel a tinge of guilt for the choice I made to walk away. More for the girls’ sake than mine. The "broken family" image. And then I realize how much better off we really are, just the way we are.

It’s songs like this one that bring on the guilt though…and then I realize that just because the song says it’s true, doesn’t mean that life says it’s true. Like…just because this country singer with oddly long locks feels this way, doesn’t mean somebody else does. Guilt, you have no place here, be gone. I’m so blessed to have stellar friends to point this out. Thank you Jess, your words carried the strength of an army this week.

~I’ve almost completely replaced coffee and cream, with green tea and honey. And it’s making my insides soooo happy. Plus? Cheyenne sucks for coffee. It helps.

~I’ve finished a difficult Christmas letter that I can mail without fear to every single person in my address book. Plus anybody else that wants one (FB me). This is huge, people. Do you have any idea how hard it is to tell people that dislike you, but love your kids, what we've been up to...just to make sure they still have a place in my girls' lives?

~Wanna know what else is huge? Me No Habla Farmer. AT all. But I totally drove a loader last weekend. A yellow one. And pushed a semi, and parked it. This is big.

~There is no other place like the back of a horse. And I miss it so much.

~I’ve rambled, and will leave you with this:

I’m not sure if I will blog again this week or not. So in case I don’t, please make sure you read through our December blogs-there really are some gems. Whether or not you have time for that, please, PLEASE have a very Merry Christmas…and remember that presents aren’t everything-it’s the love that they are wrapped in…and that’s really the only wrapping paper you can save forever, AND pass on at the same time. Is there any greater gift?! God bless, and Merry Christmas.

Yours Truly,


Sazaran said...

COMMENT OF THE DAY: " Guilt, you have no place here, be gone."

Also? Christmas is stressing me out, tooo. Seriously. I spent $20 on presents yesterday and had to remind myself that I will have more money soon. I hate it. But, like you, I'm surrounded by people who are willing to chip in and make sure this is one for Malachi to remember. For me, that's the most important part.

Anonymous said...

I'm not letting Christmas stress me out this year. I haven't bought presents for anyone...because we can't afford it this year. This is hard on me because I'm such a 'giver', but if anyone asks where their present is, I'm just gonna have to smack them!

Great songs and Merry Christmas to you! said...

"The season of Christmas, the fact that love seems to wrap its big ol’ arms around everybody in one room, regardless of past or present circumstances, and makes it feel like home." - Yes, yes, yes! <3

This blog was just filled with gems, darling; I love the brilliance that lives inside your head.

No one who knows you & your kiddos would EVER look at you and cast the "broken family" image on you. "Broken" implies that there's something missing, or that there's a crack somewhere—& you three are a dynamic trio that nothing in the world could ever shake. Walking away may have very well been one of the best things you've ever done; look where it's found you <3

Anonymous said...

I know a horses back you can get on

Kandice said...

Um, where has your blog been all my life? :)

Nomz said...

Hi Kandice! Glad you found us! :) Looking forward to seeing more of you!

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