Monday, May 18, 2009

♫ Lost in Translation

♫Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing

Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand it
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is ... it happens ♫

A recently popular Sugarland song. Seems they are more and more inspirational all the time.

Communication is key, to any relationship, especially the ones that mean the most to us. It seems, that the opinions that are closest to us, our parents, siblings, best friends, best loves, or bosses, have the biggest affect. Words can cut deep. They have the ability to gut punch you, more so, than an actual hit. On the other side of things, a "thank you" or "good job" or "I love you" can make you feel larger than life, all of this though, only if from the right person. I mean really, if some random mullet wearing dude at WalMart said "hey man, you suck at life", you’d probably laugh it off. If the hobo outside your favorite hole in the wall restaurant said "I love you", you’d probably shake it off with an "I love you too man. But, when someone close to you, cuts you deep, either uplifting or degrading, you cant help but feel it , to your core.

I think...and this is just my personal opinion, communication suffers on a few different levels.

#1. Emotions.

When we care deeply or admire somebody with everything we’ve got, we will give it our all to seek out their approval. We desire to feel accomplished, successful, loved back, with as much emotion as you put in to achieving it. When that doesn’t happen, not only do we come down so hard on ourselves that it could be considered torturous, but we get all kinds of emotional. We take "you did ok" as "you suck and could do better". It’s degrading. It’s penetrating. And it knocks you down so hard that it’s devastating.

#2. Gender

Again, this is my opinion only, and I understand there are some very unique people out there that don’t fall under gender-specific assumptions.

Men have a hard time expressing themselves, especially the good emotions.

When you get second place at your best sport, and your dad says "try harder next time!"
Translation: he really means "I’ll still be your biggest fan, be there next time, and do everything I can to help you succeed. ".

When you get a B, instead of an A, and he says "you're grounded"
Translation: Really, he means it...but he is still proud of you.

When you tease death, or you got hurt, and he says "What were you thinking?!"
Translation: he probably means "I was so worried... more than I words could say, and hate it when you take such big risks.".

When you tell your boyfriend that you love him and he says "thank you"
Translation: "Move On".

When you ask a boy to dance and he says "I cant dance"
Translation: "I really can, but this way my chances of you saying yes are better"

Women seem to have the opposite problem. We are really good at being mushy, and expecting mushy...and most of the time, have a harder time coming across hard enough to sound more like we mean it, and less like we’re nagging. I don’t think you need examples or translations, when we sound like we’re whining or nagging, try to picture us screaming. ;)

#3. Reaction

Once our buttons have been pushed, our reactions cause big Communication Fail.

There seems to be that one person that can push it harder and faster, than anybody else. Probably, because we look up to them most, or are more emotionally connected, or theyre who we try hardest to impress, and it hurts more when we fail. Not only did we not meet their standards, but we feel like our best wasn’t good enough. And our reaction, regardless of what emotion comes out, usually doesn’t tell the truth on what we actually wanted to do or say. When emotions get high, it’s best to kill whatever communication is happening, until you can resolve it with a level head.

See, the thing is, life never goes as planned. We have a horrible habit of planning something out in our heads, and when it goes askew, it tends to hurt. It hurts even more, when the people close to us react as well. You’ve got to let things go. "Let Go Laughing" as that song sings. Life’s entirely too short to let people scratch our nerves. I know, impossible, but worth a shot anyway.

Yours Truly,

PS. Some dialect from this weekend from two of my favorite people. I hope it’s not one of those "you had to be there" things.

Brandon (to my sister): "Youre a French Fry" (I was mostly zoned at this point, don’t ask me why he said it)
Danielle (my sister): "I am not a French Fry" (with the infamous side to side head shake)
Brandon: "Why Not?"
Danielle: "Because Im not food...And Im not French!"
Naomi (half zombified and barely listening): "Neither are French Fries"

My dear sister, I do thank you for helping me laugh even when every other emotion has run dry.


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