Friday, February 26, 2010

♥Lessons Learned.

Oh, geez, talk about the most emotional, heart-wrenching week I've had in probably my whole life. These past few days have stretched me beyond what I thought possible. Makeup didn't really matter much- I cried it all off hours after I put it on. I do know that God is using this time of turmoil to teach me, mold me. I just don't see what He is aiming to make me into. Stronger? Yes. More trusting? More than likely. But it's slightly difficult to see the big picture in the midst of so many overwhelming details.

I've been listening to some powerful, Christ-centered songs and allowing the spirit of encouragement and strength to fill my heart. Truly, I want this hour to be my finest hour of faith. A muscle can't grow and become stronger without first being ripped and torn. I feeeeel the burn. Having done all to claim victory, my trust in Christ's will and all that has been promised to me. After I have stood against the sly voice of fear and worry; against the nay-sayers and the antagonists, I will simply stand. I won't fall. I won't lie down. I'm standing my ground.

Ephesians 6:10 -18

"Be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides]. Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere. Therefore put on God's complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place]. Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God, And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the [firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace. Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one]. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God. Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God's consecrated people)."

Let me clarify something here (for all those of you who would love to make it an issue). I am not referring to my ex or any part of his family as "the enemy". This is about the darkness that creepeth on the edges of my happiness; the temptation to just give in and stop fighting against hopelessness.

All those words that I've bolded? They seems to be keys to not letting a crisis overtake everything. I'm determined to use them as my defensive and offensive measures. And when I feel that I've used up every ounce of my energy and determination, I'll stand and let my Savior just take over and stick up for me. There are times that this little blog here is all talk. Empty words. But, I feel that if I keep speaking them, they just might come true. Some days are better than others; some days my faith feels strong and invincible. The other days, the ones with the heavy cloud cover, blocking out all piercing rays of the sun- they are the days of faith building.

It's amazing to me that the only requirement of the scripture verse is to stand. Christ doesn't require any special skill or tenacity. All he requires is a heartfelt willingness to not give up. He quietly whispers to me, through the heartache that nearly always drowns out all other voices, "I'll do everything else. I'll sustain you. You will stand in awe of the strength that I have and that I will impart to you. "


kelly said...

Great blog Sarah. I have often told the lord during hard times, "I know this is your will for me, but I dont have to like it." He always tolerated that and refined me anyway. Im sorry you have to go through this :(

Sarah said...

Sometimes it takes everything in a person to keep standing. Sometimes it's all the world seems to want to let you do. And sometimes, just doing it anyway is the absolute best anyone can do. Kudos for remaining upright.

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