Tuesday, March 31, 2009

♫ Be careful when walking in those shoes!

Ever feel like you’re floating above yourself? You know, like you’re just looking in on your own life, wishing you had a little more control over your own actions, or the rest of the world? That’s me, often.

There are times I look at my friends lives and think I could live them better. Not in a judgmental way, but in a "here, let me be the puppeteer for a minute and fix everything for you.". Like if I do it for you, it will hurt you less, or be easier for you. Then I have to step back and say "Nomz, you cant even live your own life right, maybe we shouldn’t screw up their life too, eh?".

Im not lacking in life experience, but im far from experienced enough to handle all of your lives. Im sorry if I’ve stepped on any toes by thinking otherwise. I think there’s a big difference between "opinion" and "advice". Advice, tends to make it sound like I could do it better. My apologies.

That being said...

Im asking you to do the same. Not just for me, just in general. Every time you want to reach out and help somebody with your words, consider that maybe your advice is a bit more hurtful than helpful. Telling a new mom that if she does something a certain way, the baby will sleep better, eat better, and be a better baby, is all wrong. Arguing with someone when they tell you that they dislike something by saying "oh, just try it one more time, you’ll love it", is pushy and character crushing (guilty, sorry sis, I will try to convince you that you like stuffing every single Thanksgiving until you agree). Telling your best friend that their breakup with their soul mate is exactly like the one you had, is heart breaking. Telling somebody that the path they’re taking with their life is not only different than yours, but wrong, is a high cast judgment that will make them feel mosquito-size. And then squashed.

It goes back to that ol’ adage that you cant walk in my shoes until you’ve walked miles in yours. Or something like that. If we were all to live out our lives the same, not only would life be dull, all uniqueness and character would be lost.

This blog is not meant to make you feel guilty, for my sake or someone else. If it does though, you know that you’ve cast some judgments, or strong advice, when you probably shouldn’t have. Im far from innocent myself, im just hoping that we can all take a fresh look at our conversations, the way we love and support those that we care for most.

Yours Truly,

PS. I really really want your opinions at all times, God knows I cant get through this life alone. I just have enough burdens without hearing how I could have done it better. And...again, apologies, for all the toe stepping. Im learning. ;)


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