** YES, WE’RE FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK; NO, YOU CAN’T COME TO MY WEDDING.

Dear darling readers,

I am getting married in 73 days. (And no, before you ask, I swear I’m not one of Those Brides neurotically counting down the days—it’s just that I get asked this question literally every time I see a certain chipper fellow from Quality Control, and I have to be prepared with the official answer. Because if I’m not, he asks me to guess. And then he also asks if my dress still fits. He also, by the way, refers to me primarily by my wedding date: “Ten ten ten!” I really am not kidding.)

Since we’re already talking numbers, I’m going to give you a few more.

Seven months ago, my future husband proposed to me, in the exact spot he first asked me to be his girlfriend in 7th grade; for you equally un-mathy people out there (I am WITH you!), that means we’ll be celebrating 12 years of forehead kisses & weird faces & late-night driving dates four days before we celebrate our first wedding anniversary. I know, right?

A few more numbers, and then I swear I’m done.

Four days after we got engaged, we made it Facebook official.
Two months later, we started planning.
And 140 is the maximum amount of people our wedding venue—a gorgeous historic theatre—can comfortably accommodate.

Somewhere in between the Facebook-official part and the “we have a really specific limit for our venue” part is where things start to get tricky.

See, darling readers, when you’re planning a wedding, you become embedded with this urge to share your glee with people. You want to shout from the 420-character-limit rooftops about how you’ve found your vendors, announce the day you find THE dress, discuss the delightful experience of making registries with your beloved—the whole nine yards.
You call upon your already-married Facebook friends for recommendations and to share links (people, there is a whole ‘nother blog’s worth of OMG to express over the sheer amount of bridal blogs out there; it’s like a left-hand sparkler grants you an all-access pass into the world of DIY everything & other people’s wedding photography); you post engagement pictures; more or less, you involve all 770+ of your Facebook friends in your wedding planning, never thinking twice about it.

Until, of course, your fantastic invitations arrive—and if you’re a typography/word nerd like me, you swoon over them three times more than any normal person—and you go to update your status, all, “Mrs. Almost-Bride is perched at the kitchen table, addressing invitations and listening to Pink Floyd.”
And then, one near-perilous second before you update, you stop to think; is it REALLY a good idea to broadcast this to the world?

In all honesty, darling readers, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it—that is, until I received a comment on my wall a few weeks ago.
To understand the context of said comment, the friend who left it was a friend from junior high and early high school—as in, we were friends then. The last time we hung out, we were both sporting Sonic uniforms and going home to our parents’ houses every night. The most we’ve hung out since then was the night each of us confirmed the other’s friendship on Facebook.
So, in short; not close. Barely acquaintances.

You can imagine my surprise when she posted on my wall, asking if I’d sent out invites yet; answering honestly, because we hadn’t, I replied, “Nope, not yet!” and left it at that—only to have her return with, “Oh good, because if I don’t get one, I’m gonna kick your butt!”

Consider my butt kicked.

The modern world is a magical place where social networking loops more people into your life on a daily basis than you’d ever be able to keep up with face to face; the problem, however, lies in events like weddings. Suddenly, people who you haven’t seen in person since you were 17 are assuming they’re invited, based on the sheer fact that you’re Facebook friends.

My dear, darling readers, I am ghost-blogging today to tell you that simply isn’t the way things roll. Yes, I will happily comment on your pictures from vacation (even the weird passenger seat self portraits—we’re Facebook friends, after all, it’s what we do); I will tag you in notes; I will have delightful wall-to-wall conversations about the splendidly superficial things in life.

But please, please please please, don’t make things any more awkward than need be by assuming and/or flat-out asking—on Facebook, in front of hundreds of strangers—that you’re coming to my wedding, or if you’re invited at all.

I’m asking you, oh friends of brides, on behalf of all my fellow Facebook brides, to remember that anything posted on a Facebook wall is the same as running up to someone & shouting at them in front of a silent crowd; even if you only intend for one person to hear it, everyone gets in on the fun.
This goes double for weddings, especially in cases where you’re very, very conscious that feelings can/will be hurt when people find out they’re not invited.

Will it happen anyway? Of course. But does it need to happen on the Book of the Face? Absolutely not.

So, with that said, dear darling readers—have you even been caught in a situation like the one I mentioned, whether as the “OMG CAN’T WAIT FOR YOUR WEDDING” commenter (who didn’t end up invited after all) or the bride on the other side?
Especially for all my already-tied-the-knot girls out there, how did you handle walking the line on Facebook between sharing your excitement and being conscious that not everyone reading would be invited to the big day?

-Ghost Blogger

♥ A Tuesday on a Wednesday

I once knew a girl named Tuesday. No joke. And another one named January. <--- This was supposed to be posted yesterday.

Because of a certain few friends who can haz the pumpkin craze already, I've begun to look into what the Fall fashion trends might hold for us. They're bringin' masculine back and it seems that we're in for military influences and lot of fur... fake fur, people, don't get all panicky; here are a few pictures that I liked:

* Fuuurrrr


* Tall Boots, we still love 'em

* Heavy Textures


* Military (I actually kinda like this...)

SO, tell me... would any of you rock these looks?

You know, there's an issue that has been sitting on my shoulder, whispering little nuggets of wisdom into my ear every now and then. Honesty. How does this thing work? I know it's all-important and vital for us in regards to one another, but how do we balance it? When a friend's new hair color is just not right, do we tell her that she looks beautiful anyway? Or do we exercise honesty and suggest something better? If you feel that someone is or might hurt you (either unintentionally or not) do you approach that friend with honesty and express how you feel? It's a fine line that needs to be walked, I think. But it needs to be walked. Dishonesty, like ice in cracks, will cause tiny little fissures to split into gaping gorges that cannot be filled easily. Dishonesty, entwined with misunderstanding, can be a mine field for any friendship. One little slip and everything explodes. Just sayin'.

I watched the season premier of If You Really Knew Me, last night. It was so inspiring and moving. Really, I'm not a fan or supporter of MTV but I think they got it right with this one. A group of adults (life-coaches? counselors?) visit schools and have a Challenge Day where they make all the students get over their prejudices and cliques and really find out who each other really are. They get into small groups and each tell part of their story, beginning with "If you really knew me, you'd know that..." I cried, yes I did.

**Mother-In-Laws!

We've all experienced something similar to what this Ghost Blogger is dealing with. Whether you've had a mother in law, will have one, or had one...you know what it's like to be the daughter. Maybe, just maybe, we'll be in lucky to have a "mom" reader that can lend her thoughts from the other side of this argument? What's it like having to love the girl your son chooses? Lend her your thoughts, readers! -Nomz and Sazaran

Mother-in-laws often forget that they are/were daughter-in-laws.

If you are one of the few who haven’t been driven to your breaking point by a mother-in-law, consider yourself one of the lucky few.

I am sure we have all heard the horror stories of new mother-in-laws. It seems that the largest problem lies with the newly wed wife and his mother. The movie Monster in Law shows the extremes of the situation, but most daughter-in-laws can relate in at least one way.

Marriage is a hard thing. There is so much new going on just between husband and wife, but add to that trying to melt two families together. There are many debates that will arise: What holiday do we spend with which family? Whose house do we stay at? Just to give an example. These issues are only complicated with a pushy or invasive mother-in-law.

Whether her intentions are good or not, the pushy mother-in-law seems to forget what it is like trying to start her own family. A girl just wants things to be perfect, in HER own way. The problem seems to be that it is a different way than what the mother-in-law would do. It is important to a new wife to feel like she is starting her new family and home that will be picture perfect, the one where she will grow old because most girls have been dreaming about it since she was three. Most mother-in-laws will drive their new daughter-in-laws nuts by trying to be too helpful. They don’t think about how it felt when their mother-in-law was in their face.

It is always talked about how hard it is for the father of the bride on the wedding day, but they seem to let go after that day better that the mother of the groom. I know that mothers just want what is best for their little boy’s, but sometimes, it is best to just let go. It can be hard to think of a new female knowing your son better than you or taking care of him, but it is weird to try to play mommy to a grown, married, man!

So I have been dealing with the pushy mother-in-law who just doesn’t get it for 8 years. It still isn’t perfect, but I have learned a few things that help me deal.

• She really doesn’t realize what she is doing. Her intentions are good not evil.

• Set some boundaries. FROM THE START! She has to know that she isn’t in charge of every detail of everything anymore.

• From the beginning, explain to her (nicely but firm), she doesn’t get to be involved in aspect or decision. (Yes, I know this goes with the one above, but it is SO important, I have to spell it out twice.)

• Daughter-in-laws: Your husband will never get it. He will never understand why his mom comes off rude or fully understand how she makes you feel inadequate. Try to let him know you need him to support you while SETTING BOUNDARIES. (ooops said it again)

• Lastly, try to let the things that aren’t major to you go. Pick your battles, and stand up when you must, but try to let the unimportant, just annoying stuff go. You know you may end up being that mother-in-law someday!

Did I forget any? Have some tips or stories you want to share? I’d love to hear them!

-C

♫ Random Monday: 7/19/10

This Random Monday will probably be hard to follow, hang in there.

*Dear Self...please write this down somewhere, read it every day, and remember it when you get frustrated with other people not following your perfect advice.

Each of us is on our own path and we all learn differently. Because of this it is important to not interfere with another’s path of growth. Learn to release the desire for control over others and instead enrich their lives as we enrich our own.

*I have three goals by the end of the year:

-Mend bridges
-Look in to going back to school by Spring of 2011
-Start and maintain a savings account

*Sometimes, I get really frustrated with excuses. And I assume that it's personal. Whether it's an excuse or truth, I need to realize that the problem is yours...not mine.

*I've got some people in my life that are broken records. They have such repetitive behavior that it's completely predictable and irritating. Once again...self...remember, it's their problem, not yours. Stop letting it get to you.

*I've realized that life is too short not to seize every opportunity. You hear this over and over, but until you have regrets...you have no idea what that means. CarpeDiem!

*Sometimes, a girl just needs a glass of wine. And that's ok.

*Optimism isn't genetic. It's not a learned behavior. It's a choice. It's never ever wrong to look at the bright side of things.

*Books are an escape. It's amazing the things you can learn from Mr Potter, Mr Cullen, Mr Poe, and Ms Gilbert. The list goes on and on, it's endless; never stop reading.

*My life is lyrics.

*I adore my patient friends. The ones that realize I have issues, I make mistakes, I am a work in progress, I get weak at times, I make bad choices...and that if you can handle that, I'm an ok person.

*Change makes me alive from the inside out.

*I can't wait for the pictures to be developed that were taken this weekend. Just you wait! They're going to be epic, amazing, stunning, and all things mush. <3

*I'm so stoked to escape to Boston with my daddy! It's been far too long since our heart-to-hearts, our adventures, and our ability to relate like only a daddy-daughter combo can.

*I love the feeling of hard work. The sore muscles, the satisfying feeling from head to toe that you accomplished something. I miss that. Dear cubicle, I hate you.

*I'm in awe at how many times I can fall in love over and over with the same people in my life.

*A song that has had me deep in thought for days...



Yours Truly,
Nomz

♥ I heart books

I found a fantastic quote by C.S. Lewis (fitting, since he's my favorite author) that goes like this:

"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me”

This quote reminds me of my youthful, summer days, lazing in the shade cast by our peaked roof, partially listening to a far off lawn mower, slapping at bugs... loving imagination. Nothing has changed. My love for books is an unquenchable thirst. I am a book scavenger- I'll take left over books, ragged and beaten; I'll take hard-bound shiny and new, first edition or fourteenth edition; I'll read one book just once or a thousand times. I'll lend one, buy one, borrow one, rescue one.

It's a funny thing that happens to me when I am submersed in someone else's gift of tale-telling: the story becomes alive. Not in the sense of the mind's eye, but... I actually begin to hear and see it everywhere. A dog will bark at the exact moment one does in the story; a child will cry in perfect timing with the character's own; I begin to pick up on smells and sounds that I had not heard before reading about them. I could chalk it up to an over-active imagination, but I'd rather keep the magic and call it story-stalking. *smile*

Libraries are quasi-sacred, to me. By stepping through its doors and choosing to peruse the pages of different font, of different words, you are honoring each author's inner most feelings and quest of their dreams. After all, there would be no books without readers. Taking the time to indulge and decipher a plot, I know, is so rewarding for those who wrote it.

The smell of a book, in itself, I could fill my house with, every day. It's a smell that doesn't take on a scent, it takes on a character: old, wise, cherished, dignified. I don't smell the pages of a book to smell the book, I flip the pages mere inches from my face to get a feel for it- for where it has been. A book that has been read a thousand times, carries a thousand smells. A new one carries only the smell of the factory. Needless to say, I adore used books.

Have you ever purchased a new Bible (or book with very thin pages) and listened to each leaflet crackle as it is pulled away from it's neighbor for the first time? Try it, it's like the crackling leaves in the beginning of fall.

A few of my most favorite novels:

The Oath, Frank Peretti

The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis

The Circle Trilogy, Ted Dekker

Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carrol

Harry Potter (every.single.book), J.K. Rowling

Running with the Demon, Terry Brooks

The Princess Bride, William Goldman

Quick, share your favorites so I can buy more books and more shelves and more books! ♥

♫ Random Monday: 7/12/10

A random Monday on a Monday! Holy crap!

*I have an intern! Well, technically, STP has an intern, and I just get the opportunity to get to know her really well. She gets to work 8 different jobs, one week at a time, over the summer as part of the ...you guessed it! OneWeekOneJob program! Check her out here: Kieley

*I had an amazing weekend. One filled with good conversations, love love love, covering up insane amounts of Facebook-Blue paint, and Home Depot trips. Plus, hi, only certain people can get away with wandering around Costco for an hour covered in paint. And we did. I am so lucky to have these people around to make the blue go away and make home feel like, well, home! For the first time in years, I spent an entire weekend covered in grime, feeling sore from hard work, make-up free, and still being called beautiful. Le Sigh. Plus, my girls got to paint in their underwear (epic pictures will come, I tell you.)!



*I'm so tired of money being the root of all evil. Can whoever say that please come up with something else and make that go away?

*I twittered something, and now I'm sharing it again. Tweaked just a bit:

"I just want honesty, straight up and on the rocks...served to me...like my favorite drinks."

*I love prayer time at night when I put my girls to bed. It's my favorite thing about every day. And always has been. When Kyanne first started praying, one of her first prayers was for her friend who was too sick for her to play with, and she was praying for healing. It went like this: "...and thank you for Tig and help him be sick." She's always been short and to the point, and continues to be so. Leyna, on the other hand, prefers to go through every single person she knows, is thankful for all of them, and prays against bad dreams every night. Prayer time went from 30 seconds, to a good 10 minutes. Prime examples, that prayer can be done a million different ways, and it's always right.

*Gain laundry detergent is my new favorite smell. Both for laundry, and removing paint from everything. Yay for brilliance and the power of Gain!

*I love being a mom.



*I have amazing friends. I'm so lucky, the first picture is in the shape of a four leaf clover. Yeah, beat that.





*I've got a family that I'm not grateful enough for, and just noticed that we need new pictures of. *Family, prepare to be stalkerazzi'd*
*I freaking love this song!



Yours Truly,
Nomz

**Does the “Country of Origin” Label Matter to You?

We've got a ghost blog! We'd love to hear what you think on this topic, leave her a comment and discuss! -Nomz and Sazaran

I was on one of the popular auction sites – you probably know the one. I was looking for some components for a project I’m working on. Looking through the search results, I starting looking where the item would be shipping from. [I made the mistake once of placing a bid on something before I realized the item was in Great Britain and the shipping cost would be twice my bid! Luckily for me, the seller released my bid, but I digress…]

While I was finding items that I felt would fit my creative needs, I noticed that the items originated in countries that are either communist regimes or locations of civil conflict. My brain went into overdrive thinking of where my hard-earned cash would be going. I have no way to verify that the on-line companies were legitimate companies – although there were lots of sales behind each seller’s name.

Would my money go to a company where the business owner would actually benefit from the transaction or was it going to governments that I do not agree with their political system or human rights stance?

As a point of reference - I also make note of where the fruits and vegetables I want to buy are grown. While some of our neighbors to the south are abiding by growing regulations close to how we grow products, I do discern between North, Central, and South American products.

Am I over thinking this? At first, I thought I was being sentimental because of the Independence Day holiday. After giving it much thought, I know that wasn’t a factor – spending American money in a responsible manner is just good practice. No economic speeches here, no right-wing or left-wing rhetoric. I just know that I would not have been happy if I had made a purchase where my money might have supported political views that leave me quite unsettled… I felt like I would be initiating bad karma. [BTW > I ended up buying some components that were suitable equals from a mainland vendor.]

So, I would like to throw it out there to the readers of this blog-spot –> does it matter to you where the items you buy come from?

-Maliaana

♫ Random Monday...sort of

*It's strangely harder to take vacation, than it is to stick to routine and work. So while we desire vacation, a "staycation" should also be planned yearly.

*I have the most amazing friends. And, they're spread in all different directions, living completely hectic lives of their own, and still find time for little ol' me. *iz blessed*

*My girls are going to look fantastic in tutu's. For realz.

*I love Brandon. I've said it 100 times on this blog now probably, but my goodness my cup runneth over.



*I'm stressed, and handling it more gracefully than normal. Why thank you, awesome group of supporters that adore chikin, vacation, and picture ops.

*I've been to Vegas, Cody WY (and every small town in between here and there), Colorado, and soon to be Boston. All within four weeks.

*I can't wait to paint. And the girls are pretty stoked to hold brushes too. I figure I'll only have to do everything from my waist up since they'll cover everything in their reach. I'm dreaming, aren't I?

*I've been blogging fail. Please see two paragraphs above for reasoning.

*My kids are amazing. Their knee-slapping ab-killing giggles are completely contagious, and I can't get enough of their ability to make people smile. Even their toddler fits are adorable...I'm sure every mom thinks that though, right?

*I lived through my first 5K, ohemgeeeeee! Yes, I said "first" like I'm running another one. I might. ;)



*We need ghost bloggers, people! Email us! nomzaran@yahoo.com...and we'll promise to attempt to make your werdz famous!

*That's all. Because you're getting pictures of my latest adventures instead of more rambling. Love you! ...but I don't love you enough to share pictures of my kids on my blog. Sometimes I'm weird about that.







Is it Wednesday?! BUT HOW?!


Yours Truly,
Nomz

♥ Slug bug!

Today, July 6th, I really want to own a pastel yellow original VW Bug. One passed me as I drove to work and whistled my name as it went by. I'm now throwing out all previous (cursed) experience with VW and daydreaming about how cute I would look with my new shades and favorite ladies, zooming through the summer heat in said adorableness. Awwww. <3

You are all aware of Daily Offensive's stance on porn. If not, catch up: Just Say No. In an attempt to raise the moral bar (or gain the loyalty of a certain demographic?) Steve Job has announced that no one will be able to access any pornographic application on his devices. Here are his own words, "(W)e do believe we have a moral responsibility to keep porn off the iPhone...You know, there's a porn store for Android....You can download nothing but porn. You can download porn, your kids can download porn. That's a place we don't want to go - so we're not going to go there". (Steve Jobs)

Go Steve!

Gaaaaawwwwwwwd! I LOVE Skyping! It's like... the best invention since Facebook, yo. It's really hard to hate technology when it provides something just a couple senses short of the real thing. I was up until 2AM this holiday weekend catching up and reminiscing with a certain international friend (who is so full of awesome, I was glad to sacrifice sleep) <----- that never happens. Plus? The whole free thing is something that cannot be turned down.

Have I mentioned how much I loooove my job? I mean, really, it's about time I put my two years of Bible school to use. Not that it takes schooling to answer the phone or pray for someone- but, I'm finally where I want to be in life. Almost.

You know the saying, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold." I love this quote, cheesy as it may be. Because I've recently acquired some shiny new friends, while I hold close to my heart my the value of time-tested friendships. Life, though having a tinge of pain and desired do-overs, is so full of life.

Our hard-working and blogging queen, Nomz, is on a much-needed vacation this week so that's why there wasn't a Random Monday... but there will be one for next week! Or she'll make up for it by blogging later, randomly. ;-)

House Cleaning: DUDE, what happened to all of our guest/ghost bloggers? We're missing your words and anonymous rants! Wanna vent or tell a funny story or bring up a topic that you feel needs to be addressed? We'll post it (as long as it doesn't go against our beliefs) and you'll be protected, nay justified, by our name: Daily Offensive. So email us at Nomzaran@yahoo.com!