Monday, June 28, 2010

♥ Tuesdayz belong to Sazaran

* The whole tattoo idea? It's still floating around. And much to my excitement and barely-containable thrill, my best girlfaces are going to help me decided on the where/how/when/what details of said ink. Eeeeee! Sometimes, rebellion can be fun and totally innocent.

* You know, more than ever, I have begun to appreciate the unconditional support and love of my family. They are there when I need them- emotionally, physically, financially, mentally. You name it and they've helped me with it. I really wouldn't be in one whole piece today if it weren't for their prayers and continual love for me. There is no way on earth I could express my gratitude in the same measure that they have reached out to me. ♥

* I have fourteen pregnant friends. That.I.know.of. How is this number still through the roof? Aren't they supposed to have the babies, eventually?!

* Now that I’m able to publicly admit it, I’m proud to say that Malachi is weaned!! Yay! Actually, though I anticipated Hell on earth, it went so well! He didn’t fuss for more than a few minutes for a couple naps. Now… (drumroll please)… he sleeps through the night! It has been longer than two years since I’ve been able to sleep without interruption every two hours. *BLISS* Oh, don’t take this the wrong way—I still get kicked, slapped and head-butted, but that’s something I’m willing to put up with.

* For the past few weeks, it seems that God has been rearranging my belief system. For example, when I pray, I’ve thrown out all formulas and schedules taught to me. Rather, I focus on pouring out my heart in the most raw and real sense possible. Whether it’s “This SUCKS!” or “What the heck are You thinking?! I need to know!” or “I thank You for being perfect and guiding me in love, though I don’t know what You’re doing behind the scenes” or even “I trust You completely because You are greater than anyone in this world; let Your will be done.” So far, this new approach to His heart seems to have harvested grand results. I feel my faith becoming stronger in Him. Also, it’s a huge weight lifted when I’m able to be completely honest with my fears, feelings and hope- trying to be a model Christian, even before He who knows my thoughts before I think them, is so exhausting! I still don’t know why we even try to come off as the straight-A Christian student when we obviously need a Tutor every day.

* There's a bug going around that I haven't had for a while (and it has nothing to do with said fetuses)- it's the photography bug. I want to get out and take pictures again! I miss finding detail that is usually missed, cheeky expressions of my favorite subject, editing with fantastic lighting. The "ooh" and "ahhh" sounds of my adoring fans. *wink*

* I freaking love making jewelry. It helps me breathe; it helps me clear my mind and purge bad days and dream new things. I really think this little talent of mine was kept hidden for a purpose. It's phoenix-esque in a way that it probably could have come only when I needed beauty to rise from ashes. No joke, y'all, this detailed artistic stuff is something I did.not. do before and now my mom (Martha Stewart incarnate) is all aghast that not only am I doing it, I'm doing it on a regular basis!


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