Tuesday, October 20, 2009

♫ An Optimist in Denial

I need to get a few things off of my chest…please realize that this blog is not directed to one person, or one situation, don’t take offense. Or, do…and realize that maybe you could turn your ‘tude around a bit. ;)

#1. It’s not the end of the world.

Though it feels like it, whatever you’re going through probably isn’t unique to you. Someone else has most likely been there, survived it, and wrote a book about it. Instead of cowering from it, learn and grow from it, and adapt to it. Even better, realize that there are people out there that can use your encouragement, and generally, when you give it out, it’s like one of those fancy toys that comes right back at you. Rather than sitting there in a hole thinking you’re the most unlucky, saddest person in the world-love somebody else that feels the same way, and watch what it does for your soul.

#2. Do not write an email, blog, or start a conversation of any kind asking for reaction, then be angry when you get it.

A conversation takes two people. Similar to a face to face conversation, you can write in a way that involves nobody, or you can write in a way that requests a reaction. When you get that reaction, be it what you want, or what you don’t, take it for what it is-exactly what you asked for. Constructive criticism, even when it does not feel constructive or relevant, is not meant to hurt you, make you feel remedial or “stupid”, or smaller than you actually are. It’s just somebody’s view on your situation, and how they personally would make it better. Overreacting, just makes you look remedial, not the actual criticism.

#3. I’m not Buddhist, but….

I’ve heard they have a belief in a “Karma Bank”. Their theory, as I understand it, is that what you put out there, you get back. The more good you give, the more you get to cash in. While I believe that you need to treat others well, I’m not sure that it’s all stored in one account that you get to “cash in” at some point and feel like a good person. I do believe that the more negativity, pessimism, and meanness you put out there-the more of that you’re going to get in return. Luckily, I also think that the more optimism, encouragement, love, and giving you hand out, the more you get of those things in return. While some think that optimism isn’t a firm grasp on reality, I’d rather live in a happy world than the “real” one, if it’s full of pessimism. Similar to the end of the world…I’d rather be surprised, than stressing about it until it gets here. Give out good, get good back. Be angry, prepare yourself for retaliation of some kind.

#4. Hey Waiter!

If you demand to be served, don’t expect it.

While some jobs ask their employees for a servant attitude, they are going to be less likely to hand you that gracious emotion if you expect or demand it. Waiters, IT Help Desk, Nurses, and Customer Service Agents chose that line of work to serve. From my experience, mistakes are made but doing the best they can with what life hands them is their attitude, and they usually do a better job of it then I could. Appreciate them, thank them when they get it right, and try to look past the small stuff. The more you demand perfection, the lower your quality of service.

#5. I'm not expecting perfection.

I'm not trying to sound like I am perfect, or that I want all my friends to be. I'm not asking you to stop leaning on me when times are hard, or venting when you're angry. I love being that friend! I just get tired of the same people being negative or self-centered all the time. They don't get on and off soap boxes, they just set up a tent...on top of them and live there always. Obviously, I love you anyway...as you do me when I climb on mine. I just wish you'd see that life isn't nearly as terrible as you think.

Apparently, I am an optimist in denial, afraid to live in a pessimists world…and completely honest, especially when asked. I am far from perfect, but don’t demand perfection. I love, and love to be loved. Though I have very little, I have it all…surrounded by amazing people, loved by two of the best small people ever, and smiled down on by one great God…I’ll take what I can get, expecting any more is just going to leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled.

Yours Truly,


Lover of your BLOG! said...

Great Blog...the same exact words I think of every time I have a friend, being a 'debbie downer'.

I love to have happy people surround me. I love when those people share thoughts, feelings, songs and quotes...that are positive or that make me feel ok about my life, past, present or future.

I hate drama...can't say that enough...!!!

Good job Nomz!

Anonymous said...

Great blog my lady. To you I lift my fish bowl size wine glass and say thank you. Each and everyone of us has that oh poor me's. Three things each of us should remember. 1. Destiney is not just given to us its what we do with it that counts. 2. We need to learn to love ourselfs before we expect others to. 3. Surround yourself with possitive peaple possitive thoughts and remeber each day we are give on thiS earth is special no matter how bad we think it is.
I love you my friend abd thanks for beingv one of my soul chargers.

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