♫ Why my three year old has all power.

Once upon a random Thursday:

#1. She has an eye infection. Makes mamma a little weak and sad anyway. When it comes to eye drop time: "Kyanne, let’s put some drops in your eyes". Quickly covers them up with both hands and says "Nooooo they’re already better, they’re already better!!!!!!!!!". "Come on Kyanne, move your hands, it wont hurt I promise"...Kyanne: "Only for chocolate."

#2. Helping mamma cook macaroni. Scrambles under the counter to get the pot holder (because everyone should require the assistance of pot holders for all macaroni cooking. New rule.)...we get in a pot holder war. You know Like pillows, only not. Mamma: hits Kyanne with pot holder across the side of her head. Kyanne "mamma! You think you’re tough stuff?!??!"

#3. Playing with her favorite aunt on my comfy green chair. Whoa. Back up the truck. First...the girl accessorizes. And therefore notices when others do. My sister was in the room for a whole three seconds before she says "OOooooh you gotta new purse!!!!!, wannnnt some macaroni?!". :} Back to the comfy chair with said sister. "Kyanne, what are you doing?!", Kyanne: "putting my elbow, in your booboo". You get it.

Homeskillets, im so glad this was one doodle that couldn’t be undid. There is something about my angels that I am determined I couldn’t live without. God knew I was doing life outta order, but I think he arranged it that way on purpose. He knew, that come alone time 2009, I would need them to keep me stepping.

~Nomz

Arrrrg Matey

Pain is a funny thing, isn't it? I mean, some people can handle it really well and others even enjoy it (eww). But, this girl does not like it. And has a very low tolerance for it.

How did I ever give birth?

So, today I was sitting in our recliner and my dear boy, Malachi, was whining to be held. I bent over and began to pick him up. Half way through singing, "Come to my arms my beamish boy!" I heard a pop. And my vision went blurry. Needless to say, I dropped Malachi immediately (don't worry, he was only inches above the ground) and proceeded to collapse, myself.

This sort of pain is weird. Grasp your pointer finger and pull it- see how the joint separates? Well, that funky feeling of the joint being pulled apart is slightly how it felt... only from Hell. And my knee locked into place.

So, we called the ambulance and they took me away. But, not after it took 5 people and about 15 minutes to get me off of the couch and onto the gurney.

ER's are wonderful places aren't they? I waited for two hours before they gave me something to help with the pain. I had to go through x-rays ("Kill me now" was all I could think- they had to turn my knee in three different directions to get good shots) and about three different nurses feeling around to see what had happened.

I love morphine. Sadly, they would only give me one shot in the ER and none to take home. Jerks.

Oh and morphine does affect breast milk. They said that it would make Malachi a little "sedated". Liars. He's more hyper now that we was at his best part of the day! And I'm in a knee immobilizer, which makes me look and walk like a pirate. A wimpy pirate. I don't even have the cool makeup to really make myself feel good about this leg.

Anyway, I'm done whining. Just thought I'd share a little. :)

P.S. Thank you to all the lovely ladies who called, text and/or twittered me to see if I was alright! You three are the best :)

Embarassing moments! They make us who we are :)

This is the worst thing (socially) to happen to me. Ever. Yet, I just love telling the story- call me a glutton for jest.

It was Valentine’s Day, 2001. I was 16 and a senior in high school (yes, you read that right) and my friend-since-before-birth and I decided to go to the high school dance. It was a cruel twist of fate that we arrived overly dressed and, thus, had to go home to change into something a little more… dance-y.

Let me add a little detail here, I was new to the school. Although I’d grown up in the valley, I knew no one because I’d attended private Christian school my whole life.

Amy and I entered the front doors of the school, all hot and 16-like. I thought I looked pretty good in my tightly fitted red cords and black halter-top and I acted like I thought it too. What I didn’t think of was the good ol’ phrase, “Pride comes before a fall.” I remember there were about, ohhh 100 or so people there.

A few of our friends met us there, among whom was a guy named Mac (who later became a professional dancer). About half way into the dance, Mac and I joined up and began showing off our dance moves. You named it, we tried it. Including The Candlestick. Anyone seen Swing Kids? You know that whole string of tricks where the guy picks up the girl, throws her to one hip, then the next, then she does this reverse piggy-back thing and finally slides threw his legs and come up on the other side with a really cool twist? Yeah, we did that. It was a ton of fun and (for having no dancing experience before then) we pulled it off pretty well.

Fate decided to have some fun. A dance circle formed. Mac urged me into the middle to do our thang. It began rather well. Looking back on it, I know I should have tucked body parts in just a little more than I did. But, you know, Hind’s Sight is 20/20.

So we’re dancing; I jump up, swing to one side. The other. The reverse piggy back thing and back to slide down to the ground.

I heard everyone gasp before I heard the back of my head smack against the concrete cafeteria floor. Honestly, I didn’t feel it.

That’s not the worst part.

The worst part is that when I was sliding back down to the ground (before/as I hit my head) Mac’s thumbs had become tucked underneath my top. Yup, you guessed it. He pulled my top up and (almost) over my head as I went down.

I don’t remember much after that. But, that’s not the worst part.

About a week later, I was hanging out with a ton of my new school friends when this random guy walked over to me. He said, “Do I know you?” I replied that he did not, because I was new.

With his finger on his chin he thought, “No, I do know you. You’re the girl who was dropped on her head at the Valentine’s Dance!”

End of story.

-Sazaran

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The Bathroom Hallelujah Party!



So there I was…my third trip to the bathroom since 8am. At work.

Im normally an observant (shoe peeker) person, but when you’re in a rush, you just gotta get there you know? So there I was...

Ok, back the truck up. Before y’all get any ideas…I was both deprived, protected, and there was not a chance in the world, no possibility what-so-ever that I was. But after having two WHILE being protected (and not deprived), it’s just natural to have a little party, once a month, every time…even when there is no chance. You know, almost a “thank you God for letting me be deprived” dance.

So anyway. There I was. And for whatever reason, probably the high amount of caffeine that morning, I got a bit over excited, and actually said “Hallelujah”. Fairly loudly. In a small, echo-y bathroom. Immediately following, was a joining in celebration by laughter and the flushing of the toilet next door. I quickly pulled up my feet, and hid in the stall until the bathroom was vacant and whoever said female was, was far enough down the hall for me to leave unidentified. Unless she noticed my shoes. You shoe peekers. I know who you are.

Bah! I hate being she-male.

-Nomz

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pssst. I have to share my dad's most embarassing moment, because it is one of the funniest ones I have ever heard!

On the night of his very first date, he pulled up to his girl friend's house in his fancy sports car- flaunting his new tires.

He rang the door bell and was greated by her parents. Like a good little boy, he waited in the living room, making small chat with Ma and Pop. This is the layout of the house, picture it in your mind: living room has big beautiul bay window and faces the flight of stairs that leads to the girl's bedroom.

So, the moment arrives and comes down Miss Pretty in a long, strapless gown (must have been prom or something). As she glides down the stairs, she accidentally steps on her gown and it exposes her jewels.

To divert the attention from his sweety-pie, my dad ever so cooly turns toward the bay window and says, "Look!"- referring to the new tires on his oh-so-cool car. Too bad he didn't look, himself, before he spoke. Instead, he and the girls parents all turned to see two dogs humping outside of the window.

Since we were so humble-like and shared our horrific life's tales, please, do the same! :)

♫ Ah Hem...Is this thing on?

Having a hard time concentrating today. Might be a bad case of the Fridays, might be my head exploding with too many thoughts. Either way, writing is probably the best way to cure both.

More about me. Because Im sure y'all wanna hear me talk more about myself right?

** I get highly stressed when the people around me are stressed. Have you ever gotten a piece of news, or a scary thought, that left you spinning, ears ringing? That's how I get, every time my closest of the close get stressed or upset. So...when I havent heard from my family for a while, my beaute of a BFF is feeling irritated, sad, or upset, my girls are unbalanced and outta routine, or something goes haywire with any of my best of the best, my head spins. This is me, telling you I love you, by the way. You just stress me out! Guess it's only fair, Im sure Im not gentle on the brain either. So thanks, for loving me enough to be stressed out back.

** I got earth-shattering news this week. The lovely lady that watches my girls, can no longer continue doing so. Change is healthy. And I know everything happens for a reason, but oh lordy was that hard to hear. The girls love her SO much. Her family is truly amazing. Im blessed for having her in my life when I did, and I wish her the best. In the mean time...anybody wanna babysit???? If not, pray for me. She's gonna be hard to top.

**. I tend to go through phases...I go from loving the city, to down-home-country girl...and Im headed back to country and fast. Im having horse-withdrawals, country music needs, and swing dancing dreams. :} Country folk, bear with me, I'll be back soon.

** Sazaran and I are about to write a blog about our most embarrassing moments {Her idea, isnt she brilliant?}. Prepare yourselves, this is gonna be good. In the mean time, if you have anything you wanna share, we'd be happy to broadcast yours as well! ;)

** Im developing a new love for bubble baths. My OCD kicks in every time, and I have to take a shower when Im done, but there is something in them that leaves me inspired. And lucky for me, after I wash myself off, that inspiration follows me outta the tub.

** Im getting antsy about a f-ant-sy camera. Im having serious photography withdrawals, and will have one soon. It will be my next investment...you know, when I get all caught up and rich. Or when one of my devoted followers donates one, either way.

** Im still trying to figure out what is sexy about vegetables. I see that everywhere...and I just dont get it. Ok, Im not completely outta the loop, I know there's resemblance, and can be used for...stuff. Officially turned off by all things cauliflower though.

** I watched Transformers this week for the first time. Yes, I know, Im behind on the times. Excellent flick. Highly recommend it for all you other behind-on-the-times folk. Im so going to have a little ankle biter named "Mojo" someday.

** Within the next year, I'd like to have a pretty set life plan. Im tired of being a quarter of a century old, with no future. Living on all ends of the spectrum has been quite awesome, but it's time to figure things out.

** I need a new cell phone. For me being so technologically advanced, it's quite pitiful. Accepting donations there too.

** My dogs head got smothered by my two year old the other night for two hours. Not kidding, or exaggerating. I think she thought it was the new form of cuddling, and actually soaked it up like-a sponge. It appeared, neither of them would have rather been in another place.

** Im finally going to start kickboxing. I close encounter, almost friend, cool-curly-haired-co-worker, has inspired me and might allow me to tag along. Something I've wanted to do for years. Look out y'all...all these "empty threats" are about to be made good.

** I cant get enough of social and viral marketing. Im going to get brilliant one of these days and find a way to tie it all in to my horses and get rich. Watch. All I need is a sexy accent and tight pants and I'll make it big, at least, that's what I hear.

Im going to fight the wind, take a walk, and kick this weekend in the pants. Happy Friday y'all.

Yours Truly,
Nomz

Oh PS-remember to share your embarrassing moment if you want to be famous.

Breast is best

From the moment that little pregnancy test lit up like a string of Christmas lights, I knew that I would breastfeed my son, Malachi.

Today, it is a common choice to skip the "boobottle" and, instead, offer the bottle. While I do not judge any woman who decides rubber over nature (I understand that, sometimes, mommy doesn't have a choice) I do encourage the former. After a little research, this is why:

Benefits for Baby:

-Breast milk is the most complete form of nutrition for infants. A mother's milk has just the right amount of fat, sugar, water, and protein that is needed for a baby's growth and development. Most babies find it easier to digest breast milk than they do formula.
-Premature babies do better when breastfed compared to premature babies who are fed formula.
-Breastfed babies score slightly higher on IQ tests, especially babies who were born pre-maturely.
-The analysis of 14 studies conducted since 1988 found that overall, longer-term breastfeeding was linked to a 24 percent lower risk of acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), the most common form of childhood leukemia. Breastfeeding for 6 months or less appeared to reduce ALL risk by 12 percent.

Benefits for Mama:

-Breastfeeding lowers the risk of breast and ovarian cancers, and possibly the risk of hip fractures and osteoporosis after menopause.
-Breastfeeding can help a mother to bond with her baby. Physical contact is important to newborns and can help them feel more secure, warm and comforted.
-Breastfeeding mothers may have increased self-confidence and feelings of closeness and bonding with their infants.
-Breastfeeding is the best diet, *ever*!! I gained 39lbs during my pregancy, weighing in at 154lbs the week before I gave birth. By the time Malachi was six weeks old, I was down to 121lbs. Thats 33lbs in six weeks!!!

In my own experience, however, I know that breastfeeding does come with its own set of sacrifices which include but are not limited to the following:

-The all-too-familiar engorgement.

-Intense hot flashes.

-The feeling of being turned on. Now, let's all be mature here- nipples were created for more than just nursing.

-Thirst. As if you haven't had a drop of water in days.

-Sore, dry and/or cracked nipples! Ouch!

-Extinct libido. Mommies: if while you're nursing, you feel that your libido has shrunk drastically, don't get discouraged. Breastfeeding and low sex drive often go hand in hand for many reasons. One is: "The hormone prolactin is necessary for milk production in breastfeeding moms. Unfortunately for the woman who wishes for an active sex life, prolactin also lowers the sex drive. Prolactin is an anterior pituitary peptide hormone (I'm quoting this, so I hope I'm not the only one totally lost on that sentence)that begins lactation in new mothers and is needed to maintain breastfeeding." For the longest time, I would (and still do- sorry babe!) recoil at the slighest sexual touch. Am I broken? Will I ever want to be intimate again? My doctor, God bless that woman, assured me that I wasn't and I will. If, in the meantime, you cannot handle your sex-drive dive, you can ask for some estrogen cream and within weeks your love life will be revved up!


I could go on and on (and on) about this subject, but I don't want to bore you. In ending, I would like to give one piece of advice to mommies-to-be, new mommies, or even women who will be mommies in the distant future! When you're at the hospital, ask for a nurse who is a trained lactation consultant or an actual lactation consultant at every feeding. Don't let her leave until you feel that your little one has latched on properly and it feels alright. I did that at the hospital and truly believe that it's what helped avoid any unnecessary discomfort -cough- agony.

In the end, I know all mommies want what's best for their little bundle of joy- whether that is the breast or not. And that's all that counts! :)

-Sazaran

P.S. I'd love to hear feedback! Questions, comments, concerns, tips, stories... you get the idea ;)

♫ First Date Regulations

Ok show of hands...who likes dating??

Nobody does. I enjoy the game...the flirting, the dinners, the excitement of the first few dates, meeting new people, but the actual act of dating? No. No way. The awkwardness, the pressure to look right, sound right, do right. Why we’re so afraid to be ourselves, im not really sure, but you know you put on that extra layer of mascara...even if your personality doesn’t change. Or you pick your favorite jeans, favorite cologne and perfume, prepare for hours...both mentally and physically. Hoping that extra dash of pretty will send sparks flying. But what happens when you get there, and the sparks are absent. How do you make a graceful exit? How do you show that you’re interested without being needy in a scary creepy kind of way? How do you nail yourself a second date, or, lose your phone number?

Here’s my shot in the dark at the first date. Let me know your thoughts!

Online dating is a completely different ball game. Not only do I not have that experience under me to be giving advice, I don’t really want it. I do think it’s an awesome outlet for those that are uncomfortable doing it the old fashioned way...it’s more scary to me than anything, honestly. Anybody do it? Any success? Nightmares?

The "down-home" way:

#1. The first date should be done in a public place. Plenty of chit-chat and flirting can be done harmlessly in a non-threatening environment. In a public place, you can excuse yourself to put on some more pretty, check your phone, text your friends to give you a good exit, or even head for the door, in a graceful, polite, manner. Cooking her dinner is sweet, but not a first-date thing.

#2. Don’t bring anybody along. Not your mom. Not your best bud. Not your kids. Not your dog. It’s intimidating as heck to the other party. It’s just one more person to impress...and you’ll have them glancing at the door and looking for an exit all night. 3rd date. Maybe. When you think they’re ready to meet those that mean the most to you, then do it. Not the first date.

#3. Don’t pick a holiday. Sorry, but Valentine’s Day...CANNOT be a first date. No way. Or any holiday. It’s awkward, not only to you have to apply that extra dose of pretty-but also stress over if gifts are going to be necessary. Pick a normal day of the week even. Thursday’s are the best day of the week in my opinion. Less crowds in the restaurants, less love oozing out of your surroundings because it’s not a typical date night.

#4. Gents-go above and beyond. As much as we like to be treated as equals, we love to be spoiled from the beginning, and that old fashioned courting business will have us melting like butter. Bring flowers. Have the whole night planned so we don’t have to make a decision. OPEN HER DOOR. That’s huge.

#5. Be original. We don’t want to hear the same story on every date. And (here’s a secret about us women), we like to talk about ourselves. So,whether you’re interested in something long term or not, ask a lot of questions about her. Women, this goes to you too, if they ask a question, reciprocate it. That healthy balance starts from the first date.

#6. Call us. Text us. MySpace us. That night. Not in a creepy kind of way, just "I had a lot of fun, you were amazing, I’ll give you a call soon". A basic-had a good time, hope to see you again sometime. Then...the trick...wait at least three days. Maybe even a week. It’ll keep us curious, and you wont appear stalker-ish. If she doesn’t answer or call you back, try once more to show some persistence, then drop it. Granted it’s rude not to be honest, but take a ‘no’ when you see one.

#7. Women. If you’re interested, flirt like mad. Not in that over-the-top giddy giggly girl fashion, but in a wink as you’re leaving the table, touch his hand when he makes you laugh, compliment him (whether he admits it or not, he put on his best pretty for this show too), boost that ego. You might get some cockiness outta the deal, but it goes deep. Even the most confident men like to hear what you’re noticing. Don’t laugh at everything he says, everybody knows, including him, that he’s not that funny.

#8. In my opinion: don’t talk about a future date until the date is over. If the feelings aren’t reciprocated, it’ll be awkward the rest of the night. If they are, it’ll end the night too soon. Wait until you say goodbye, or surprise her and don’t say a thing (make her think that was it), then send that "you’re amazing, when can I see you again" text.

#9. Be honest. If you hate the food, say you hate the food. If he gives you butterflies, tell him, and vice versa. Takes the pressure off of having to remember girl-catching/guy-catching lines that your friend coached you in to saying. ;)

#10. Don’t go to the movies. Zilch on conversation, and you wont be able to feel them out at all. Go for dinner and dancing, or dinner and the park, or dinner and the zoo, etc. Figure out a little of what she’s in to beforehand and use that to your advantage (and vice versa). If they’re in to photography, tell them a camera is required, take them to the butterfly pavilion or zoo, and get some fun shots together.

Dating is more than tricky, it’s impossible. Nobody does it all right. Nobody is perfect at it. If they were, we’d all be married off to the perfect people by now. There are entirely too many single fools out there willing and ready to spoil you rotten, and share a night of awkwardness and excitement with you. And getting turned down, is natural. Don’t take it personally, it just means that the chemistry and magic wasn’t there for one or both of you. Even if she’s the girl of your dreams, if she’s not sharing you dream, do you really want to be with her? Oh yeah, and vice versa ladies.

~Nomz

♫ Crazy, Tragic, Sometimes Almost Magic

Thing we call life. Sometimes I wonder, if I have any control over my life, or if no matter what choices I make, if my life lives for me.

To my friends:

You never cease to amaze me. You’ve stood strong in my storms. You’ve loved me when im not too lovable. You’ve encouraged me more than you’ll ever know. If y’all were trees, Id be lost in the deepest, tallest, strongest forest (you know, like the Harry Potter-style trees) ever. Thank God for you.

You should know though, that Im tired. Im tired of watching you throw yourselves in front of large, dramatic, life and emotion-crushing buses. I gently peel you off the street after the bus has done its damage, and then watch you do it again. Don’t get me wrong, I love feeling heroine-like, Im just tired of watching it happen again and again. So, to those of you that know of whom im speaking, I will always be your shovel, I just wish you’d learn which snakes bite, and which ones you are safe to play with. Which buses have better drivers, and which ones have drivers that will never treat you as you’re dreaming. Know that I am far from complaining, im just quite ready to see you find the happiness you deserve. It’s frustrating that life keeps dealing you crap. And im sorry that I cant do more, more than hold a shovel.

To my girls:

Thank you for putting a little dose of sunshine in my blizzard-y life. There is something about the way you are growing up that makes me wish I was more like you, instead of the other way around. Innocent. Fresh. Brave. Honest. Never change. Leyna, ever time you hear a song you recognize, please never stop saying “turn it on mom, a big one!” (translation: crank it up!). And that look you gave me from across the table the other night, will work only until you’re a teenager little girl. I will only melt like butter for a few more years. Kyanne. My Kyanne, you’re my rock these days. There is something about her crooked smile, flirty eyes, and bravery for all things cold and scary, encourages me to be stronger. Tells me that Im doing the right thing. I will fight for your best until there is no fight left in me.

To my weekend:

Thank you. Thank for letting me pretend to be millions of miles away from civilization and reality. Thank you for the feeling of refuge, the quality time, and for opening my eyes to what is right in front of me. Dear fire, you could not have been warmer all stoked and warm, and cinnamon smelling. House, you could not be much cleaner. And food, you could not have tasted better. Laughter, love, security filled my little doll house this weekend. “Home” finally feels like “home”.

To my toasted marshmallow coffee:

You’re fabulous. Monday just wouldn’t be the same without you. In fact, Monday wouldn’t happen at all.

To my future:

Here I come! You think you’re ready? Yes, I have big plans for you. And soon. You and I will have a blast together…and probably many blunders as well. It seems that you and I like to do things the hardest way possible, but Im ready to get started. Ready to give you another shot. Full force, dream-finding times are coming at us and fast. It’s all set in stone in my head, and you have no choice but to cooperate. Throw wrenches all you want, but we’ll work it out. We always do. I’ll just keep those wrenches in my pocket, they eventually become more and more useful anyway. Big plans, my friend. Big plans. Prepare yourself, and help me out a little would ya?

To my readers:

One of my latest "songs" that blew up outta my heart a while ago...thought I'd share it with ya:

High Heels and Broken Dreams

Putting on an image in front of her crowd

She smiles through the tears as she takes another bow

Defining herself on their reaction to her song

She’ll take another step, she’ll keep moving on

Her dreams only taking her so far

Her half hearted will is short in reach

Afraid to leap, for fear of falling

Longing for a hand, without one she is weak

(Chorus)

Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

On high heels and broken dreams

Perfect on the outside, envy going deep

Constantly toeing over the line,

Forever a fear of that leap

Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

Riding hard on high heels and broken dreams

Standing tall but crumbling hard

Her journey takes a turn

The emotions she buries deep really start to burn

Constant hot explosions

Burn bridges of love and foundation

Needing to hear applause, craving adoration

(Chorus)

Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

On high heels and broken dreams

Perfect on the outside, envy going deep

Constantly toeing over the line,

Forever a fear of that leap

Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

Riding hard on high heels and broken dreams

(Bridge)

Angel kick those shoes

Let your dreams soar

It’s time to stop desiring

It’s time for you to adore

You’re beautiful, you’re perfect

Let the image fail, you have to see yourself

You have to remove the veil

Angel look in the mirror, catch site of the real you

Kick those shoes, find your dreams

Barefoot, Life renewed

(Chorus)

Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

On high heels and broken dreams

Perfect on the outside, envy going deep

Constantly toeing over the line,

Forever a fear of that leap

Sing your heart out, let your soul scream

You will only get so far

Riding hard on high heels and broken dreams

With Love,

-Nomz