Wednesday, November 10, 2010

♫ Help a Mom out!

Over the last few weeks, I've had all this inspiration to write mom-help blogs. And for fear of being judged or criticized, I've chosen to ignore that little prodding inside. It must be a rebellious day, because I've changed my mind. And instead of writing a few different plea-for-advice blogs, I'm putting them all in this one, in a shorter, easier to read form. Be gentle.


My oldest has gone from nightmaring, to slumbering so hard, I have to stick my finger under her nose every night to make sure she's still breathing (yes, I really do it every night). My youngest, only a year behind her, has hit that stage. Every night she wakes up with a nightmare.

We've gotten in to quite the routine. She wakes up, sits up, hollers for me, I go in, she tells me that her heart is broken again (cutest thing everrrrr, right?!), and that she wants to pray about her bad dream. We do, she goes back to sleep, usually peacefully.

Dilemma: It's cold in my house at night, I'm lazy, and after a really rough night last night, Brandon and I reflected on our childhoods and remembered both of our parents asking us to come to their room to report the offense, getting told to get a drink, and go back to bed. I wonder, dear moms, is it the cold house that spurs this decision? Am I doing it backwards or spoiling her by going to her? What did your parents do when you were little?

**Mammaaaaaa, don't leeeeeeeave!**

My oldest, once again for comparison, never went through the abandonment fear. EVER. She also never went through a terrible two, three, or four. So, when my youngest came along, I assumed I'd rock the toddler stages out again with ease. To my surprise, as of late, my youngest has a new fear of me leaving her. She cries, tells me that she is going to miss me, and according to reports...quits the second I walk out of the house.

I normally handle it by giving her extra loves and snuggles, telling her our entire agenda for the day (where she'll be, where I'll be, when we'll be home together, etc.), then I make sure she knows I love her, and I leave. It's gotten slightly better this week, fingers crossed it continues.

Dilemma: Is four the normal age for this, or is it the new routine/new school dance that we're doing? Am I handling it right?

**MY Nightmares**

Obviously, like any mom, my nightmares are that somebody will harm or steal my children in some way. I can't ask for advice, because there is only one way to extinguish that fear: stop loving.. I'll live with the nightmares, thank you very much.

Dilemma: What do you do to ensure the safety of your child? WHY do we tolerate things like this: Sick and Disturbing? (In case you're afraid to click on it, it goes to Amazon dot com, and the only thing that will make your gut churn or raise your brow, is a book title. There are no pictures or not-safe-for-work material.)

It's infuriating that we're enabling! This is only one sick example...there are creepy books, websites, and useful information at hand for scary, scary people to get ahold of...but what do we do as an act of prevention, rather than waiting until something occurs?

Would you consider yourself overprotective?

Yours Truly,


Anonymous said...

My oldest had nightmares and yes I made her come to me and then told her she was ok go back to bed and she out grew them. My middle child would cry every time I left him and like you be fine the minute I left the house, I gave him extra loves and told him I would come back at a certain time and after so long he quit and is now fine with me being gone. As far as the nightmare you have, I have the same one, all I can advise you to do is to make sure your girls know the stranger danger and know what to do in case they get seperated from you. Being a mom is never easy, just take it day by day and it all works itself out. Your a great mommy and have the most beautiful little girls!!

Anonymous said...

Well, Im not sure whether it is wrong or right... but I go to her too. I dont want her to feel that she can get out of bed and roam the house or that she can just enter my room whenever through out the night. So I choose to go to her, so that we can calm her in her environment and also so that she knows that I will come whenever she needs me.

I'll bet that the abandonment fear is due to the new dance.... school/work and all that jazz and I hope it continues to get better. Also, I bet it does stop the minute you walk out but your heart will continue to hurt all flippin day.

I am over protective in a good way though, atleast I think so. I dont let her see bad TV or hear sad things, or let her see me cry or see anyone else she cares about sad or upset, I'd like to think that I can sheild her from sadness and scary as long as possible. I ONLY let grandmas babysit there has been a few times for a couple of hours that I have made that exception, but thats just the way WE feel. I hate when people drive them in a car for an unneccessary reason, and to me all reasons are unneccessary. :-)

I run my parenting decisions through my head EVERY Day it really is exhausting but you are right, its just a mom thing. I hope we dont mess em up to bad.

Reese said...

Every time I had a bad dream, I would go to my parents' bed. Usually my mom would ask what was wrong... but sometimes she just got so upset with being woken up that she'd just tell me to go back to bed. I would have loved what you are doing! So keep doing it!

I was also given a whistle when I was quite young for one specific purpose: to blow as hard as I could if I was in trouble. Some kids were given them as toys, and I knew the difference. I was only to EVER blow a whistle if I was in trouble. To this day, I have a whistle on my keychain (that my mom gave to me for the exact same reason!). Perhaps giving your kids a whistle will give you a LITTLE piece of mind? And of course, teaching them stranger danger!

But I dont know kids and this is totally just me :)

Anonymous said...

Not sure if you remember this advice when you were little and having nightmares so I thought I would remind you.

Tell your little one to sing Jesus Loves Me. The theory is that the name of Jesus chases everything bad out of the room. It works! This mama only sent you back to your room telling you to get a drink of water after I reminded you to sing that song.

One of you had them worse than the other two and we had a CD player with Michael Cards "Sleep Sound In Jesus" CD in their room to play every night as they fell asleep (I still have it).

You're a good mama - follow your gut, listen to your maternal instinct, they will never steer you wrong.

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