Tuesday, October 5, 2010

♥ Vent. (v.)

I love people. I really do. When I’m not around people I feel uneasy and lonely. God made me to be surrounded by fellowship and laughter- it’s the place I thrive most. Buuuut, like all other areas in life, there comes a time when I just need a break. I just need to find a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop somewhere that offers superb tea and a quiet corner for… quiet time. Reading time. Reflecting time. Praying time. I just need Me Time.

It must be an antisocial week for me because I’m also a little sick of Facebook and Twitter. Mostly because a lot of what I see goes a little something like this, “Drama. Drama. Drama.” or “Pain. Hurt. Pain. Hurt.” and you can only take so much of that before it becomes a little cloud that follows you around.

I’m demanding rain so that the little cloud can move along already.

My head hurts, my throat hurts, I sound like a bullfrog and everything in me just wants to crawl into bed and go to sleep for a day. Or a week. Whichever comes last.

I feel like I’m on a stretching table. With one responsibility strapped to each appendage. All pulling. All at the same time. I’m trying to be a good mother who provides quality time for her son; a good bridesmaid who is involved in the details; a good employee who completes all tasks with excellence; a good housekeeper who has all the laundry folded and healthy meals cooked at the right times; a good leader who can pour into other’s lives a love and interest so worthy of the calling; a good Lover of the Most High who sets aside time each day for intimacy and spiritual pursuit. And so, it feels like I’m in little pieces everywhere. And each those responsibilities are asking, “But, why can’t I have ALL of you?!”

I do adore this busy life though. It’s better than having no friends, no amazing wedding to look forward to, no one to invest in, and no activities crammed into each weekend leaving me bored and discontented.


kelly said...

Good blog Sarah. I know exactly how you feel. Thank you for putting it in to words.

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