**Trials and Tribulations: Pets and their quirks

Please read our latest Guest Blog, and let them know what you think on this topic! ~Nomz and Sazaran

So lately I have been toying with the idea of blogging about hilarious moments of life… ya know…the ones that might make you really mad at first but end up making you laugh later. Well I gave in to the temptation and here I am telling you about them.

First I would like to start off by explaining a little bit about myself… a few months ago I lived with my favorite cousin…Cara, in a quaint two bedroom apartment. Pet free I might add. I enjoyed the luxuries of wine, karaoke, girl’s nights out, shopping, and being wooed by my “then boyfriend”.

Sooner than later my “then boyfriend” became my “now husband” and I moved from that apartment (which did smell somewhat like old taco meet in the lobby) into a 3 bedroom home in the country… with the husband came one dog named Frank and three cats named Fatso, Skinno, and JC (which was short for just-cat). With all this change going on I was gaining a lot more responsibility. I swapped renting for owning… (trials and tribulations of that journey will be another day, another blog) and I gave up some luxuries for the additional furry family members.

Do note that I am a true animal lover, but like all animal lovers we still get frustrated with our pets. Like me, the cats had a change of their own. They went from being inside pets to outside pets. JC was fairly well adapted to the change since he came to us as a stray in the first place… but Fatso and Skinno were not very happy with the barn as their new home. So as an act of rebellion… they began running into the sliding glass door. I’m not talking about a little “thump” here and there… I’m talking about a “WHAM”… kind of like the sound a bird makes when it flies into a picture window. These cats are crazy. Not only are they throwing their bodies against the glass door but they are climbing up the side of the house trying to peek in the windows. I thought maybe they would give up after a while… but no. It’s been three months.. and I’m starting to get used to the noise.

Second offender: Frank – the dog. Frank is a one of a kind shar pei hound mix. When I say one of a kind I am not talking about his breed. I’m talking about his personality. When I first met Frank he would find anything of mine and lay on it. If I had a hair tie on the floor he would try and curl up with it. Kind of cute, I thought…at first. I now sometimes refer to Frank as my evil step child. Because when both of his owners are away and he has the house to his own during the day… he gets mischievous. So mischievous that I’ve actually thought about setting up a camera and streaming it live to the internet just so I can watch him during the day and yell at him before he does something naughty. That hasn’t happened yet, but it is a serious possibility.

His first offence is theft: Theft of anything left within reaching distance. This dog will pull flat silverware out of bottom of the kitchen sink, tupperware lids, pots, pans and even a butcher knife just so he can pile them in the living room. The hilarious part is nothing is damaged or chewed on. He has even pulled a box of crackers off the counter and was kind enough to not chew through the box to get to them. Instead he added it to his pile of goodies just to watch me put it all back when I get home.

Second offence is breaking and entering: The hound in Frank runs his nose. This dog can smell something yummy from a mile away. This leads him to our trash can, the butter dish, the hot chocolate, and lastly my precious coffee (which is a double crime). We replaced our trash can with what we thought to be “dog proof” because it is a thick, heavy, square trash and what we thought to be very unlikely tipped over. We were wrong. If there are too many smelly things in there, then our oversized dog finds a way to get to them. One equation: Dog + a stick of butter= Diarrhea. Not ok. However, I do believe franks favorite is the hot chocolate, because he has eaten a whole canister more than once. By the time I get home he is sitting on his favorite couch and has a look on his face that is the same as the “cat who ate the canary” and a huge ring of chocolate on his nose. As much as I hate to admit it… it makes me laugh every time. The day he got my coffee was the day I was going to beat him… however I found it interesting that he was able to get the huge can off of the counter, into the living room, and remove the lid without spilling any, without ruining anything, and without actually eating any. It’s as if he left it there for the aroma.

Third offence of maliciously destroying property: This includes, but is not limited to, constant burying of dog food into the carpet. I believe the carpet is the victim in this case. Moving can be a very busy time for everyone, pets included. During our move and renovation of our new house we had to keep our “lil monster“ in one of the extra rooms so that he wouldn’t destroy the house or the new paint with his wagging tail. I firmly believe this was a HUGE mistake on our part. Lesson number 1: don’t shut dog in a room with no view or sharp objects. In explanation; while trying to bury his food, Frank, cut the end of his nose on a piece of workout equipment lying on the carpet and instead of stopping and assessing the situation of his bloody nose, Frank, continued his food hiding process. This in turn left a 4x4 foot area of carpet covered in blood streaks. Next, feeling abandoned, Frank wanted out so bad that he tore up the carpet in front of the door in a 2x2 foot area. Needless to say… the carpet needs to be replaced quite badly.
As frustrating as it is, I still find it amusing. This giant disaster of a dog is probably one of my favourites, especially since he keeps me company and makes me feel safe while the husband is away. He may be big, awkward, and a lover of hot chocolate but he knows how to cuddle, and how to protect. I will say that the one command he knows best is “Out of the kitchen!!”. Haha.

As much fun as it was to have that single-girly-life, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m sure you understand why I wouldn’t want to give it up. Being that I’m happily married and all…… plus it makes for great stories.
With the new addition to our family, a Rooster we have yet to name, whom came to us from my Sister in law who is an animal control officer (She caught him running round the city pestering old ladies). You could guess that there will be plenty more “trying moments” to come and with that comes more blogs. Till next time, stay strong and I hope we all find humour in the moments that piss us off.

~Annalea