♫ The Strong One; Single Mom Song II

Dear Single Moms,

I need to apologize. I promised a while ago a heartfelt blog about being a single mom. I promised to encourage you. And I failed.

I am not deleting the blog I wrote this week, because I meant every word of it. It came from my heart, and that's never wrong. However, it sounded bitter and angry, which admittedly, I am sometimes...but that's not all there is to being a single mom is it? There's SO much more to this jigsaw of motherhood.

Every single mom has her own story.

Single is a tricky word. I really don't think it has anything to do with your current relationship status. It has everything to do with how much support you have in raising your child(ren).

A single mom is sometimes only single during the week, while the husband is away for work or travel.

A single mom can be somebody that has a fully engaged spouse, and a completely disengaged daddy.

A single mom might be divorced.

A single mom might be a rape victim.

A single mom can be a choice. Sometimes, motherhood is everything, and companionship with a spouse is secondary, or maybe never a desire.

Really, you can remove "single" completely, because at some point in every moms life, we feel completely alone in the challenge of raising a child.

**Single Daddy's...this blog can apply to you as well. I'm writing this from experience, and therefore it is only fair to address fellow females. I'm sure we have much in common, and we appreciate those of you out there that are completely involved in your children's lives.

Becoming a Parent

When you become a mom, everything changes. You go from putting yourself first, to making every decision for somebody else. Whether you made the choice to be a mom in the first place has no bearing. All of a sudden, there is nothing in the world more beautiful, or more important. You love nothing more.

Becoming a Single Parent

Regardless of your story...you'll go through every emotion.

You'll explode. You'll cry. You'll be proud of your choices. You'll love. You'll forgive. You learn to stand on your own. You'll learn to laugh when you feel like crying. Your heart grows to accommodate life's demands. Every single one of these emotions is reasonable, is normal, and what makes you the amazing mom that you are.

Those little things in your life that make you a mom will be there when nobody else is. No matter how frustrated you get, remember that you'll miss this. YOU'LL MISS THIS. You'll miss them driving you up a wall and back down. And if you hide too much in yourself (your anger, your bitterness, your current boyfriend or lack of one), you're already missing things. God never fails, never walks out, and never gives you more than you can handle.

Yours Truly,
Nomz

Words, pictures, and a song. Read them all, add your own. And know that you're never ever alone.

"Faith doesn't make things easy, it makes things possible."

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."

"Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either."

"Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression."

"It is the Law that any difficulties that can come to you at any time, no matter what they are, must be exactly what you need most at the moment, to enable you to take the next step forward by overcoming them. The only real misfortune, the only real tragedy, comes when we suffer without learning the lesson."

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal! Under the arm to be protected, & next to the heart to be loved"

"Some believe in destiny, Some believe in fate, I believe that happiness is something you create."





Read the lyrics to this next song, the words are epic. Read the words, especially if you dislike country, because let's face it, you can't get more country than Clint Black.
Thank you Candy!

The Strong One by Clint Black



When God made woman I wonder sometimes
If it was a flower he had in mind
when he made her.
A touch as gentle as a butterfly
A kiss so sweet it could stop time
forever
God gave man a chance to be
the kind of strength a woman needs
He was suppose to be
the one to carry that load.

CHORUS:
But there she goes
Baby in her arms
World on her shoulder when her day starts
Working a job that don't pay much
but she thanks God it's enough
There she is
on her own two feet
He walked out
but she still got dreams.
Tries to laugh when she feels like crying
Nobody'd blame her if she quit trying
But she's got a heart that gives and gives
Now you tell me who the strong one is.

Tonight's the first night in a while
She put on her makeup wearing a smile
She'd going out
And everything was all planned out
but the fever that the baby's got now
It's all shot down
She gives up what she wants to do
for what she has to.
That's what a momma does
She'll be there like she always is
when the son comes up.

CHORUS
And there she goes
Baby in her arms
World on her shoulder when her day starts
Working a job that don't pay much
but she thanks God it's enough
There she is
on her own two feet
He walked out
but she still got dreams
Tries to laugh when she feels like crying
Nobody'd blame her if she quit trying
But she's got a heart that gives and gives
So you tell me who the strong one is.

And there she is on her own two feet
He walked out but she's still got dreams
Tries to laugh when she feels like crying
Nobody'd blame her if she quit trying
But she got a heart that gives and gives
So you tell me who the strong one is.

You tell me who the strong one is...

♫ Single Mom Song ... that's Bogus.

The song is bogus...if you made a decision for your kiddo(s). Not you. Not him. Not anybody else.

An outright confession:

When I first heard this song (months and months ago), it just six months after I had left. It was March of 2009. My gut churned, and flipped, and got sad all over again. It made me feel really guilty. It made me explode from the inside out over "breaking up a family", again. I knew I didn't belong back there...I always knew that. But it made me sick to think that I took my girls away from something good.

And then, after a few emails between friends, prayers; on my knees, tears, and going over my notes from counseling, I realized a few things.

Things:

*Nobody should or would leave a guy like Jason Michael Carroll. See, he's handsome, he's rich, he's romantic, and obviously, he wants to be a good daddy (if all lyrics are true).

This song is crap.

Anybody that has a man that's an amazing daddy...has a good thing that they wouldn't leave. They wouldn't deprive a GOOD DAD of his rights, his time.

I made the right choice.

All the things I had to do when I heard this song...I had to do before I chose to leave. I leaned hard on friends. I prayed; on my knees, a LOT. I cried for my girls. I spent hours and days in counseling.

Single mamma's...never ever doubt your reasons. Always put your children first. And never settle for less than what they deserve. If you do that, all the pieces...including the right guy...will come along.



Yours Truly,
Nomz