♥Observations.

Ever notice how absolutely surrounded (pun intended) by boundaries we are? They're everywhere: lines on the road, stop signs, speed limits, gates and fences, aisles, laws. All put in place to remind us of our place. I hated boundaries for a while and I did everything I could to intentionally step over them; proving that no one could control me. Know what I've learned? Boundaries are not a bad thing. They're actually meant to help us and keep us from danger. They're meant to guide us and keep us from regret. Boundaries don't have to be fun, but they will facilitate more fun than violating them will.

I've noticed a few of my own different heart-changes here and there. God has been really working on me (& that whole black and white thing I bragged about) recently. Not that my heart was wrong, but it wasn't right either. I'm totally okay with this kind of change. Anything that works in me a softer heart, bent toward loving others (in Truth) is something I'll surrender to.

Speaking of... I believe with everything that is in me that if someone is seeking Truth (capital T) they will find it. Others? The truth (little t) they're seeking is actually just a new version of comfort- something that will fit their schedule, their opinion, their preference. Truth doesn't make you comfortable; it draws you out of your over-stuffed Lazy-Boy and requires that you use more than just your logic to believe it. It doesn't conform to YOU, YOU conform to it. Which is why it's superior to opinion or preference.

Brokenness is not a gentle sort of thing. It requires a violent dying to self and a desperate thirst for an in-pouring of the Holy Spirit which can only be quenched by unutterable groanings and hours of weeping at the feet of Jesus. Brokenness is kin to suffering and sorrow; one cannot be obtained without the other. Yet, it is a thing of glory. For in it we take on the image of Christ and are able to be made whole… from brokenness.

God cannot be contained in a box. He just can't be. And anyone who tries to put him in a six-sided encasement is ignorant and is probably trying to stuff an idol in there, not the Creator of the Universe. Just sayin'.

The thing from before that I thought was Love? It wasn't really Love. It was self-serving and perverted. Love doesn't seek its own benefit; it doesn't use others to satisfy itself. So then what is the opposite of Love? Some would say Hate and I'd have to agree on that, but I also think that Self is Hate's counterpart and therefore also the opposite of Love. Self's sacrifice is an illusion meant to look, feel and sound like Love. But Self and Love are two entirely different creatures that are easily confused. The things is: when you finally find and act out true Love, you know the difference immediately.

♫ Crave what you've lost?

So there I was, laying in bed at 10pm, listening to Brandon in the tractor about a mile away, doing everything he could to get his work done before the weather turned. We had just spat about how I feel like a needy girl, and act accordingly. And I remembered that aside from his charm, his good looks, his funny jokes, his low brow comedy, and his ability to dance my feet off...I fell in love with his character. His ability to put all things aside to make sure the work got done, with his integrity in tact.

We fall in love with what grabs our heart, sweeps us off our feet, and what makes our insides all swoony.

Common heart-flutterings:

*A man in a suit
*A man in uniform
*A woman cooking
*A woman impregnated
*A man worshiping the God you both love
*A man holding a baby
*A man that knows hard work
*A man covered in hard work
*A man in a kitchen
*A woman with independence
*A man of strength

It's absolutely impossible for me to cover everything, because we're all different. Everybody has something inside of them that makes them go aflutter though, that warms their insides, that makes them yearn for more from somebody, and that indefinitely attracts us to them forever.

Sometimes, we get so lost in the noise of the rest of the world, that we forget the fireworks that created "us". We crave more of each other, but we forget what it's like to give first. We want old fashioned romance, even though we've had it all along. Yeah, yeah...he makes you mad, he doesnt do enough around the house, he doesnt say the right things...but does he still come home in that uniform that you fell in love with? Does he still know exactly where to kiss you when he wants a little something-something? I thought so.

We don't lose each other usually...we lose ourselves. We get comfortable, and crave more, instead of being thankful for exactly what we've got.

Why'd he fall in love with you? Find that again...and you'll have him straight back into your arms.

With love,
Nomz

PS. The last time my heart soared, it was actually caught on camera, thanks to Ardent Photography. Thus, why it's going in a frame, and looked at every time I think I need more from him...and then I'm slapping myself.

Do YOU have any pictures you need to dust off?

♫ RAWR...just kidding.

I'll be honest, I logged in to vent too. I have had angst, and grumps, and rawrfaces on for about three days now. I wanted to tell the world how much it's pissed me off lately (Mostly, I blame the fact that I'm female, and it's that stupid "time" that I can complain about BEING female). And then...THEN I realized how hypocritical that would be of me. Yes, we're all entitled to bad days. Bad months. Bad years. Your problems may be minimal compared to the rest of the world's, but that doesn't mean they're not huge to you. Have a bad day. Get mad. Pout. Cry. Do it.

Then...realize that everybody throws fits. You're not the first to let the pettiness of the world get to you. The biggest thing to remember though, is that you can only control your own problems and emotions. If you're mad at life because of how another person made you feel, you need to get over it. You need to forgive, forget, rinse, and repeat...and move on. You cant change how they made you feel. You can't control whether they'll do it again or not. You can only control you.



I got this on Monday; hafta gotta share it:

"Don't listen to those who say, 'You're taking too big a chance.' Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most important, don't listen when the little voice of fear inside you rears its ugly head and says. 'They're all smarter than you out there. They're more talented, they're taller, blonder, prettier, luckier, and they have connections. I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts, and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live, the chances are you'll be a person worthy of your own respects."

Love yourself, trust yourself, respect yourself, and leave the rest to God. Forget what everybody else thinks.

Yours Truly,
Nomz

♫ Random Monday: 9/20/10

Rolz and my new puppy, Nova! We call them, "Rollanova"

*One more week of commuting. Just one. It's bittersweet. But lawdy am I ready to not be making that long commute anymore.

*I found my girls a preschool! Screeeeeeeeeeee! Bless you, little church preschool, for being the most time-sensible, curriculum desired, safest place I've found yet.

*I got glasses! I've got 20-25 vision, but two astigmatisms. Which is fancy for "you can't drive, operate machinery, or even a computer, without wearing a cute accessory."

*Thanks to Christie (don't worry when you don't recognize her name, most of you don't know her...your loss, really), my girls will soon be doing three flavors of dance classes, AND having recitals. *prepares to cry*

*This weekend had the perfect balance of reality, romance, and go-time. I got swept off my feet, swung around a dance floor, time alone to think hard on some things, and epic sleep-in time, and bonus shopping time with one of my best girls. The things that can be accomplished in one weekend!

*Have you heard the latest Octomom drama?! After showing a co-worker (Octomom), he said "she's gotta looked like a popped balloon, right?" Ew.

*I'm job hunting. Officially. Know somebody hiring in the area I've moved to? Let me know! (Creepy blog stalkers, I'm SO glad you find our blog interesting, we hope to continue entertaining you, but I'm not going to tell you where I live. Sorry.)

*Ever notice how when you're reading a really good book, the chapter ends on such a cliff hanger that you're dying to keep reading? Ever notice that life is the same way? Weiiiiird, huh?

*Speaking of that, how the HECK are they going to make the seventh book in the Harry Potter series TWO movies? I'm going to die of anticipation, that's how. Along with the other 7 million addicts. They'll torture us with three hours of The Titanic, but Harry Potter? No...you get to pay double the money for that feature. Jerks.

*Autumn does indeed bring cooler weather, but with it comes good tv! I'm right back to addicted to Sons of Anarchy, and have huge plans to disappear entirely in to Grey's Anatomy Thursday!

*It's weird how I just started a blog with nothing to say, and here I am writing your eyes off.

*I am absolutely in love with this:



*If you can handle Jewel's voice, listen to these lyrics.



Yours Truly,
Nomz

♫ Random Monday: 7/19/10

This Random Monday will probably be hard to follow, hang in there.

*Dear Self...please write this down somewhere, read it every day, and remember it when you get frustrated with other people not following your perfect advice.

Each of us is on our own path and we all learn differently. Because of this it is important to not interfere with another’s path of growth. Learn to release the desire for control over others and instead enrich their lives as we enrich our own.

*I have three goals by the end of the year:

-Mend bridges
-Look in to going back to school by Spring of 2011
-Start and maintain a savings account

*Sometimes, I get really frustrated with excuses. And I assume that it's personal. Whether it's an excuse or truth, I need to realize that the problem is yours...not mine.

*I've got some people in my life that are broken records. They have such repetitive behavior that it's completely predictable and irritating. Once again...self...remember, it's their problem, not yours. Stop letting it get to you.

*I've realized that life is too short not to seize every opportunity. You hear this over and over, but until you have regrets...you have no idea what that means. CarpeDiem!

*Sometimes, a girl just needs a glass of wine. And that's ok.

*Optimism isn't genetic. It's not a learned behavior. It's a choice. It's never ever wrong to look at the bright side of things.

*Books are an escape. It's amazing the things you can learn from Mr Potter, Mr Cullen, Mr Poe, and Ms Gilbert. The list goes on and on, it's endless; never stop reading.

*My life is lyrics.

*I adore my patient friends. The ones that realize I have issues, I make mistakes, I am a work in progress, I get weak at times, I make bad choices...and that if you can handle that, I'm an ok person.

*Change makes me alive from the inside out.

*I can't wait for the pictures to be developed that were taken this weekend. Just you wait! They're going to be epic, amazing, stunning, and all things mush. <3

*I'm so stoked to escape to Boston with my daddy! It's been far too long since our heart-to-hearts, our adventures, and our ability to relate like only a daddy-daughter combo can.

*I love the feeling of hard work. The sore muscles, the satisfying feeling from head to toe that you accomplished something. I miss that. Dear cubicle, I hate you.

*I'm in awe at how many times I can fall in love over and over with the same people in my life.

*A song that has had me deep in thought for days...



Yours Truly,
Nomz

♫ Random Monday: 3-22-10

Oddly enough, I am having a heckova time waiting to write this blog today. I have so many random things that MUST GET OUT before my day can move along any further. Random Monday’s are my favorite!

*I’m seriously debating finding a way to ride a horse this week. I miss it something fierce. My mom getting a new pretty horse isn’t helping matters either, and regardless of a saddle being involved or not, me and my skater shoes are paying a visit to the smell of him.

*The more I’m in this smallish Wyoming town (town omitted to protect my privacy, please don’t post where I live in the comments), the more I don’t want to be anymore. It’s like Spring Fever, but change-flavored.

*It makes me sad, in a way, to see all the malls emptying out. All the stores going dark. And then I realize all the strip malls are booming…with their doors facing the sunshine, and their sidewalks begging you to enjoy the courtyards as well as the shopping. It’s a good change people.

*Obama’s health care plan. I can tell you that a blog is coming. Because Sazaran is fairly political, and because I think we need to open some eyes on it, and because I’m not completely for sure what the big deal is. Research to come. What I DO know, is that a lot of the posts I’m seeing on Facebook and Twitter are about Mister Obama himself, who hasn’t even signed off on the health plan yet last I heard. Please people, just because I think it’s possible he will be the antichrists secretary (haha) someday, doesn’t mean that every choice he makes is going to put us in hell. Try to remain optimistic and do your research before assuming the worst.

*Anxiety is an odd form of beast. Some days you’re on top of the world, other times you feel like hiding from it. Try to remember the first feeling when you feel the second coming on. Hi self? Pay attention to your own brilliance.

*I’m reminded constantly how lucky I am to have the guy that I do. Constantly. They don’t make’m like that anymore. Willing to try anything once, willing to go anywhere to appease me, and willing to cook dinner and help with dishes? ”If you can make a girl smile, you can make her do anything. Ah Marilyn, you’re so right. And he can. Did I mention we’ve been together over a year and still have that spark? They don’t make’m like this anymore.



And, for the record, joining Facebook was alllllll his idea.

*I read in Cosmo last week that coffee, if drank before you have something to eat in the morning, dries out your skin. It was a serious aaahhh ha! moment. IF you drink coffee, eat a small breakfast first…or it will eat your skin. Lesson learned.

Pictures, Quote, Song…all reminders of my week:

The two adorable faces on the right are mine, the one on the left might be someday. I’m debating stealing her for good.



"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine."

Admit it, you wanna sing along!



*I’m stealing a Question of the Day idea from a brilliant girl on Facebook (Hiiiii Nikki!), and every time I do a Random Monday post, I’m asking you a question. I expect an answer people.

Question: Do you ever bite your toenails?


Yours Truly,
Nomz

♥Dear Heart...

I know this time is difficult for you right now. Let's face it, you've always been full of love and willing to share it. Just be a little patient. It's not a question of "if" it's a question of "when". So, focus on the promise and the Promiser and soon the time will be before you and you'll think, "Wow! already?!"

Apparently, this isn't the right time. Honestly? Do you really want a love that isn't ripe? It would just be too sour and might leave a bad taste in your mouth. No, no- it's best to wait until you're ready and you know he's ready. Certain things must first be in place before they can begin the domino affect of the love you are meant to have.

When the thoughts of despair creep upon you or that little green monster whispers into your ear, just hum a little tune; it's sure to drown out all the bad stuff. Hey, I know a really cute song that you can use as ammo. Try this:

Also? Next time we have to perform the boring chore of grocery shopping, let's dance around and throw confetti in the air, yeah? :)

♥ Sazaran

♫ The V-Day

Valentine’s Day. It’s right around the corner! I’d be lying if I told you I was excited. I’d really be lying if I told you I’ve been thinking about it. I was reminded by a friend yesterday that it’s this coming weekend. I’m that excited. After a few discussions with some close friends today, I thought I’d throw something together, to help every person out there…not just the romantics.

I talked about my love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day last year. It’s in the archives, if you’re interested. Sarah blogged on it recently too, here: Love

The best part about Sarah’s perspective, is that she’s dead on with how we should be looking at love…whether we’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between.

It wouldn’t be fair to say I hate Valentine’s Day completely, unless I was going to say the same for every holiday. Holidays aren’t about the actual day, in my opinion. They are just a gentle reminder of things we should celebrate all year round. The Fourth of July, we blow things up in remembrance of our Nation’s birth; a holiday that should be celebrated daily. Thanksgiving, we give thanks…something we should practice daily. Christmas, some celebrate Christ’s birth, others take time to love on their families, for no other excuse then just to spoil them. Valentine’s Day should be the same. While it’s annoying that all the stores out there are out to get you with their bargain romances, it is important to remember to celebrate whatever it is that you love. Take Sunday as the opportunity to love on somebody, ask for forgiveness, mend a broken heart, start something new, or hate the department stores. Then, try to remember Sunday’s actions, every single day.

For the Romantics

Ideas…for those looking for gift ideas, romance novelties, etc. etc.

*Cologne/Perfume

My mamma always told me that cologne is intimate. A sign, that things are getting serious. A sign that you really like somebody.

*Flowers

Yes, flowers die. Yes, they feel like a waste of money. But most women, whether outwardly or deep down, love to be spoiled, especially in front of people. They are overpriced. They don’t last long. But she’ll remember.

*Cook

Avoid the busy restaurants and cook your man (woman) their favorite meal. There is way more privacy for hearty conversation, you can control the food, lighting, mood, etc., and you don’t have to deal with reservations, the crowd, or the noise. Plus, it shows you’ve gone above and beyond for somebody when you cook something they enjoy.

*Anything out of the ordinary

Clean their toilets <- - - true romance, gents.
Clean the litterbox
Change the diapers
Do the dishes <--- by hand. We’ll notice.
Clean the garage <---ladies, DON'T organize, touch, or even smell the tools.
Detail their car/truck/horse
Let them sleep in <--breakfast in bed doubles your points

Actual quote from a friend of mine (hope he doesn't mind): "drew a "get out of the doghouse free" card Sunday..." <--Women remember everything...even the good stuff. What you do, on this day, will stick with us forever.

Remember…these are all things celebrated on a stupid woman’s holiday, but a concept that should be shared year round. And really, for anybody you love…not just your lover. ;)

Yours Truly,
Nomz