♫ Rawr, and a lil bit o' Karma

I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you cant handle me at my worst, than you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

You know, I always thought of that as relationship advice. Well, it is...I mean, I thought of it more as dating relationship advice, but really, it rings true, in every relationship.

Im a bit hard to handle these days. I’ve got a free spirit that makes me itch with uncomfortability (not a word, im making it one). My independence is either intimidating, or enviable. And either way, apparently, it’s contagious. I’ve either been a sucker fish on my independent friends and people I love, needing to feel that freedom, or my own is wearing off on all the wrong people. It took me a long time to find my own two feet. And now that I have, it’s making me, and my lifestyle, "hard to handle".

It’s impossible to write this blog in a way that sounds like im not pointing fingers. It’s even harder to write it clearly, so those that don’t know me well, understand. Bear with me. I am going to write one piece of what’s going on, and then im going to move on to something happier.

To the person that envies my freedom, free will, independence, strength, courage, and mistakes...I am sorry that life hasn’t dealt you everything you want to handle. And im even more sorry that you are choosing to deny it, rather than face it. Wouldn’t you rather be a messed up person, living, than a regretless person wondering what messed up feels like? It hurts to think that you want to protect people from me, instead of encouraging them to love me. It scares me that not only do you fear my strength and passion, but you are terrified of it being contagious on those closest to me. Why would you want to hold people back from being their own person? Even more, why would you want a blooming relationship, to wither, just because it’s making you uncomfortable? Being quick to judge, isn’t fair. If you cant stand in front of somebody to give them your opinion, then you are not entitled to it.

Rant over. Thanks for listening.

I posted another quote on Facebook and Twitter today:

Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale....now if only i can find that ordinary life.

Craving the fairy tale that we see in the movies, I wanna love story. I want prince charming to sweep me off my feet, and love me forever and ever amen. And then, thank goodness there are really real people out there, I was reminded, that in most love stories, there is either a sad ending, or massive monsters that get in the way. So, even in a fairy tale love, there are challenges you have to overcome, to get what youre searching for.

Life continues to prove that you get what you put in. Good ol’ Karma never fails. Just wish we could have a little more control over when Karma steps in. ;)

Yours Truly,
Nomz