A resolution- sort of

Okay, I’ve thought and thought and I think I know what my New Year’s Resolution will be. Actually, it’s not a resolution as it is more of a decision I will have to make each day.

Lying in bed with my son, yesterday, I began to think how 2009 has started for me. Not too good. For the last couple weeks (more so in the last few days) I have felt so heavy hearted. I don’t know why and at the same time, I know almost exactly why.

Thus, my idea for a change: be a happier person. This will not be done for my son, as I mentioned in my earlier blog. It will be entirely for me; but, I guess when you think about it, it will be for my son, too. How can I take care of him to the best of my ability when I am not happy?

Let me just clarify something, I’m not really talking about that superficial, temporal happiness that comes with the high of sugar. I’m talking about joy-down-to-your-marrow. The joy that stays constant no matter what life hands you, how your day has gone or how much sleep you’ve had. It’s even a joy that goes beyond your new pair of shoes or the little “look” your child shot you over breakfast on a warm Sunday morning.

But, how does that happen? Is joy something that we have to actively pursue or can we just sit at home on our couch and hope the latest re-run of Friends lights that little candle in our hearts? I really don’t think it’s the latter.

And then, as I was watching my little boy sleep, it came to me: “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

Well, duh! Why didn’t I think of it before? I mean, did that two years of Bible school do nothing for me? I know that the things of this world are only a sorry attempt at the Joy that Christ can offer me. He has overcome the world that I might have peace and Joy. He sacrificed His own life that I might be able to live each day in His victory!

So, here it is. Not a resolution, but a re-commitment to Jesus. I realize and know that the only way I can live in true joy and peace is by going to Him each day with my burdens and laying them before His feet. He can do more with them than I can do anyway. And in return, He will give me His promised Joy. The joy that stands in the midst of the dullest day or the martyr’s challenge.

That is my heart’s desire.

And I do know that, now that I have come out and made declaration of my desire, the enemy will try his hardest to throw distractions and pitfalls my way. But, that is the most wonderful thing about my Savior, He waits. And He reaches; I don’t have to do all the work. He will romance me and draw me to Him. His arm is a strong defense and barricade against any plan or attempt of the enemy.

So, each day, I will take time to go before the Maker of the Universe and offer my heart. I know that I will not regret it.


Psalm 16
1 Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."
3 As for the saints who are in the land,
they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight. [b]
4 The sorrows of those will increase
who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
or take up their names on my lips.
5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave, [c]
nor will you let your Holy One [d] see decay.
11 You have made [e] known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.





-Sazaran