**Mother-In-Laws!

We've all experienced something similar to what this Ghost Blogger is dealing with. Whether you've had a mother in law, will have one, or had one...you know what it's like to be the daughter. Maybe, just maybe, we'll be in lucky to have a "mom" reader that can lend her thoughts from the other side of this argument? What's it like having to love the girl your son chooses? Lend her your thoughts, readers! -Nomz and Sazaran

Mother-in-laws often forget that they are/were daughter-in-laws.

If you are one of the few who haven’t been driven to your breaking point by a mother-in-law, consider yourself one of the lucky few.

I am sure we have all heard the horror stories of new mother-in-laws. It seems that the largest problem lies with the newly wed wife and his mother. The movie Monster in Law shows the extremes of the situation, but most daughter-in-laws can relate in at least one way.

Marriage is a hard thing. There is so much new going on just between husband and wife, but add to that trying to melt two families together. There are many debates that will arise: What holiday do we spend with which family? Whose house do we stay at? Just to give an example. These issues are only complicated with a pushy or invasive mother-in-law.

Whether her intentions are good or not, the pushy mother-in-law seems to forget what it is like trying to start her own family. A girl just wants things to be perfect, in HER own way. The problem seems to be that it is a different way than what the mother-in-law would do. It is important to a new wife to feel like she is starting her new family and home that will be picture perfect, the one where she will grow old because most girls have been dreaming about it since she was three. Most mother-in-laws will drive their new daughter-in-laws nuts by trying to be too helpful. They don’t think about how it felt when their mother-in-law was in their face.

It is always talked about how hard it is for the father of the bride on the wedding day, but they seem to let go after that day better that the mother of the groom. I know that mothers just want what is best for their little boy’s, but sometimes, it is best to just let go. It can be hard to think of a new female knowing your son better than you or taking care of him, but it is weird to try to play mommy to a grown, married, man!

So I have been dealing with the pushy mother-in-law who just doesn’t get it for 8 years. It still isn’t perfect, but I have learned a few things that help me deal.

• She really doesn’t realize what she is doing. Her intentions are good not evil.

• Set some boundaries. FROM THE START! She has to know that she isn’t in charge of every detail of everything anymore.

• From the beginning, explain to her (nicely but firm), she doesn’t get to be involved in aspect or decision. (Yes, I know this goes with the one above, but it is SO important, I have to spell it out twice.)

• Daughter-in-laws: Your husband will never get it. He will never understand why his mom comes off rude or fully understand how she makes you feel inadequate. Try to let him know you need him to support you while SETTING BOUNDARIES. (ooops said it again)

• Lastly, try to let the things that aren’t major to you go. Pick your battles, and stand up when you must, but try to let the unimportant, just annoying stuff go. You know you may end up being that mother-in-law someday!

Did I forget any? Have some tips or stories you want to share? I’d love to hear them!

-C