I gripe a lot about my life. Not always to other people, just in my head. Especially in the shower. Which turns in to griping about other people a lot. In my head again, mostly.
I'm not unhappy, just to clarify. There are just times that certain people really close to me, or close to the girls, or in my family...do things differently than I would have done them. Or treated somebody in a way that I find hurtful or wrong. And it creates inner turmoil. I'm finding that I don't handle conflict very well. And instead of solving it, will fight it out in my head and judge others for the way they are handling the conflict.
And then...then I read my Facebook or check in with my friends, and find out that somebody's grandma passed away. Or that somebody lost their dog. Or that somebody else is fighting cancer and losing the battle. Or has a son or daughter with a disability. And I realize that no matter how much the people close to me are causing turmoil, I've got a whole lot to be thankful for that they can't ever take away.
I realize that just because in my head in the shower I have a solution to every problem brought to me, that I can't fix every problem that is going on around me.
Turmoil hurts. I want to shake the people that hurt their closest friends or family members silly until they realize that a simple phone call or dinner date with them could fix everything. But I can't. It's not my place in the world to fix everybody else. I can only work on me.
The fact that there is turmoil and chaos will never ever change how much you care and love that person. You might grow apart, things might change, but you can always love them. Pray for them. Wish them well. Oddly enough, it was noted by several friends this week that you should never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It's always possible it's the last chance you'll see them.
"How you treat people is your karma, how you react is yours." You can only control and change and better yourself. Stop worrying about what everybody else is thinking and doing. Even in the shower.
Yours Truly,
Nomz
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
♫ I'll admit it, I'm somtimes a control freak
Posted by Daily Offensive (baha!) at 5/12/2010
Labels: control, karma, Relationships
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4 comments:
So true. We all have these same battles going on in our heads, our lives, our families and we all deal with them differently. Just remember, never let them get you down.
Smile always, love deeply and care constantly!
So my friend I can say I came to this conclusion several days ago and have decieded to stick to it. I am only responsable for me myself and I. I can only fix me and not those around me. So in my wisdom or lack of it I am working on me and my own faults, and strengths. I say thank you for your wisdom. I love you dearly.
cj.
It seems a little self-righteous to blog on items that might be better left out of the public forum. Discussing issues on the web rather than leaving them to the parties involve to handle gives the impression of "I'm right and you're wrong..." Ah, the inexperience of youth...
You're completely correct. It would be wrong to discuss personal issues on a public forum that have yet to settle. And it would be wrong to give out specific information on a personal situation.
But I didn't. What I did do, is admit that in turmoil, I tend to do things the wrong way. And I blogged about what I've learned...and how I've grown. What I've personally realized through turmoil. Not once did I mention a specific instance. So...either you know my story and assume this was personal...or you don't. Either way...I'm not trying to solve anything on this blog. I'm trying to help others grow right along side of me.
-Nomz
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