♫ Now I lay me down to sleep...

"Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
Guard me Jesus through the night,
And wake me with the morning light."

It's happening again. The nightmares are back. I got about four months without them, and they're back, rearing their ugly heads. Every single night, in color, and very, very real. I wake up shaking, crying, screaming, every single night around 3am. I say again, because I blogged on it in October: Nightmares 101.

I've taken all of my own advice. I've prayed. I've researched it some more. And I just don't get it. It's usually the same one over and over, my kids are taken from me and I have absolutely no control over it. I actually fully understand what an anxiety attack is...there are nights I can't breathe.

If I rewrite the dream, and calm myself down enough to go back to sleep, rare, another big fear will come in to play. Last night I lost my little brother to a tornado.

I'm curious, mamma's especially, is this normal? Is it because my girls are actually getting old enough and busy enough for me to panic about? Or are these vivid nightmares something I need to get help for?

My nightly routine:

Go to bed, sleep hard, wake up around 3am in some sort of emotional fit. Pray hard, turn on the music, and think myself back to sleep. Last night, this song came on. Amazing words.



"He makes me lie down in green pastures: He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul."
Dear Jesus, please make them stop.

Yours Truly,
Nomz