♫ A lesson on Females: Part One.

A word of caution: this blog was not prewritten, I’m winging it…therefore it might get deep, shallow, venture in to TMI-land (too much information-land), etc. We’ll call this rated PG-13, with parental guidance recommended. (and for the parents out there that read it, you’re warned too. ;) )

When we say…we mean….

#1. When we say: Honey, would you like to… do something for me (wash the dishes, put the dishes away, do some laundry, set the table, prepare the meat, etc), what we mean is:

If you’d like to live through this day, if you’d like to be rewarded later behind closed doors, or if you’d prefer we did not give you attitude for the remaining time left in the day, YOU WANT TO DO IT for us. The question above? Isn’t actually a question at all. It’s a polite order.

#2. When we say: This song is so cool, don’t you love it?!

We mean: You really like this song and should bop your head too.

#3. When we say: In our cute excited voice Isn’t this shirt the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?!?!

We mean: If you remembered this shirt and bought it for me later, you would not regret it. This shirt is a package deal, full of one big reward for you….IF you remember. If you don’t remember, we’ll remember that you didn’t remember.

#4. When we say: Honey, I would love to do anything you want me to do tonight. (Keeping this PG…)

We mean: Don’t get too creative. Headaches and excuses are both common after 8pm.

#5. When we say: I think we need a break. Dreaded words in every relationship…

We mean: CHASE US.

#6. When we say: Nothing is wrong, everything is FINE

We mean: You’re in trouble. Everything is wrong, and I’m about to bust out my girly emotions all over the place. Guys: The word FINE when used in the form of “I’m fine”, “We’re fine”, etc…means exactly opposite of what the dictionary tells you it means.

#7. When we say: It’s not you, it’s me

We mean: It really is mostly me. But only you can fix it. I know that’s one of the most famous quotes in the history of all breakups, but it’s a lazy way of saying…no matter what you do, I’m not happy. So change, or let me find what I need elsewhere.

#8. When we say: I got you a new TV!

We mean: I got US a new TV and it’s going HERE. Men that have ever gotten a new TV from your best girl, know it’s true.

#9. When we say: I’m going on a diet

We mean: I’m saying I’m going on a diet, to hear you tell me I don’t need to. Just because it’s not in question form, does not mean it’s not loaded.

#10. When we say: anything…

We probably mean: something else.

#11. No matter what we're saying...or doing...a hug will probably fix it. Claws out and all, we won't refuse a hug. I can almost guarantee it.

Now, most of you that read this blog know me…and know that I’m a pretty blunt person. BUT, you also know that girls have their own language, and whether you’re the type of girl to use one of these, or all of these, you know it’s true. Tell me I’m wrong…or, fill us in on YOUR favorite thing to say…and mean.

Yours Truly,
Nomz