♫ Disclaimer: I have OCD.

And a therapist. Probably another secret most of you don’t know...I have a therapist. A result of a failed attempt at marriage counseling, that turned out to be so lovely that I cant get enough of her. Everyone should have one. I also think everyone has a bit of OCD. Read this list, tell me Im wrong.

She tells me I {probably} have OCD, which is close enough to officially. Let me explain, to protect myself from offending you when I start playing with your stuff.

#1. Magnets on the fridge must be either perfectly aligned or misaligned in a way that it looks obvious they were done so.
#2. The food on my plate, cannot touch. I will use three different plates, or take three different trips, if I have to. Thanksgiving, is a royal pain in the @$$
#3. My sheets are clean. They get washed once a week. If I tend to sleep over often, I’ll probably clean yours.
#4. My kitchen has to be clean, or I cant sleep. Like, dishes done, and the countertops and cupboards Lysol’d.
#5. I hate it when people play with doors. You know...open, close, open, close. Kids are particularly bad about this, but everyone does it. LEAVE THE DOOR ALONE. It’s TIRED.
#7. I am compulsive when Im stressed out. I either eat compulsively, shop compulsively, or drive compulsively. Which tends to make me a fun companion, but also a pain...because I cant sit still.
#8. My CD’s are arranged by genre, and are usually alphabetized.
#9. I have a massive personal bubble. My love-ly co-workers love to invade just to watch me cringe and fidget. Not a hugger. Sorry.
#10. When Im stressed out, bored, or not pre-occupied, I will clean. Your house if needed. {This is the part that you shouldn’t get offended. It’s not that your house is dirty, it’s that I must keep moving.}
#11. I will probably arrange your clutter when I run out of my own.
#12. I carry those cute little hand sanitizers with me, everywhere. My poor kids think it’s lotion and already cant get enough of it.
#13. If I use something in the morning to fix my hair, I will *panic*, all day long, thinking I forgot to unplug it.
#14. All my canned goods, are categorized by a. fruits, veggies, or soup, and b. must all face out.
#15. Pssst. Apparently OCD people have higher sexual tendencies. Im not admitting to anything, Im just sayin...
#16. Im sounding a bit freak-like and high maintenance so I am stopping this list.

The good news is, your life will be a little cleaner with me around. I am actually probably one of the lowest maintenance girls you’ll ever meet. Im a girl that loves to be outdoors. Im not afraid to get dirty, in fact, prefer it. I am just particular about certain things. You probably wont notice most of this when Im around, all Im asking is that you don’t be offended when I start scrubbing your walls. Or organizing your cabinets. Or arranging your fridge magnets.

Yours Truly,
Nomz