Does it seem like you, and everybody around you, is having a heckova time just staying afloat lately? Does it seem like relationships that mean the most, are frustrating you and cutting you deeper than normal? Seems that the harder I try, the harder I fall. And the more I look around, the more I realize Im not the only one in this battle against all odds. It seems like when we give it our best, our best isnt good enough. When we try to do something right, it happens all wrong. Just when you come up for air and great things start happening, life has a way of throwing something else your way. Words are cutting deeper than normal, and once they grab ahold of your mind, wont shake loose, begging for you to analyze them until they cut deeper.
Im one of those people that believes there is a reason for everything. I wont let things happen without explanation. So, when a friend of mine mentioned this recently, I can honestly say that I didn’t really take her seriously, but was, as usual, open minded. Im asking you to do the same for me. This theory isn’t going to be for everybody, and im not completely sold myself, but it’s strange how dead-on it’s been this time around.
It’s called Mercury Retrograde.
Mercury Retrograde is part of Astrology. Keep reading, give it a chance.
Similar to horoscopes, timing is everything. A few times a year, the planet Mercury appears to be moving backwards in the sky for about three weeks. No planet actually moves backwards, it’s an illusion, depending on the tilt of the Earth. This most recent illusion started on May 7th, and will continue until June 15th, but it will only be in "peak" for three weeks. Blah Blah Blah, let’s figure out what this means:
Mercury is thought as the planet of confusion, ruling over the lower parts of our mind-where we do most of our communication and interpreting of information. So, when Mercury Retrograde is in high gear, our brains get a little bit, uh, sensitive.
Decision making is the most challenging during this time period. It’s best to avoid signing contracts, and engaging in important decisions. You’ll get frustrated, because the communication between you, and the opposing party, will be near impossible. You’ll get more careless, losing money, personal information, locking your keys in your car, etc.
Plus, I like to call this time of the year Male PMS. Something about this time, makes men extra sensitive, confrontational, combative, and emotional. So, ladies, if your man is having hell, and giving it to you, bare with him for the next week or so. It’ll pass.
There are some positive aspects to this time of year though...for one, if you can make it through this storm in your relationship, you’ll end up stronger for it. It’s also a great time to reflect on your life and do some reorganizing. It’s really healthy for our lives to be rearranged, it’s just uncomfortable. The biggest thing to remember, is that everybody is feeling it, and the way things come out, or the way you hear them, probably isn’t true. Youre being fragile, and so are they.
Now, Im not going to go on and on about this...first of all, im no expert, nor am I completely sold on any part of astrology. If youre interested in it, I hightly recommend our friend Google, he will teach you everything you need to know.
On another note, life isn’t always easy. This is just one theory why. The important thing to remember, is that it all happens for a reason, and you have to give each day a new start. Forgiveness is key. Trust is huge. Bear down and let life run its course. You’ve got to find people that are going to love you, and laugh you through it, no matter what turn your life takes. I heard a great quote today (you probably read it on either Facebook or Twitter):
"I am determined to bloom where I am planted, no matter how rocky the ground."
Life lands you right where you need to be, and gives you everything you need to grow, and succeed. You’ve got to learn to bear down and weather the storms.
"May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
May you always have plenty
The glass never empty
Know in your belly
You're never alone
May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
As every year passes
They mean more than gold
May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone "
And remember, when it feels like you’ve hit bottom, that the world is walking out on you, and that youre completely alone, there is no way to go but up. Nothing worth it in life comes easy or without fight. And if you want to live, youre gonna have to take big risks and embrace heartache. Stand strong in your truth, at the end of the day, you've only got to put up with yourself. ;)
Yours Truly,
Nomz
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
♫ Mercury Retrograde
Monday, May 11, 2009
A Little Help, Please?!
Malachi has never done anything that I would expect of a normal baby- he never would eat baby food, but went to table food, right away. He does not like bottles (the last time I tried, anyway) and refuses to take a pacifier. I’ve tried to get him to suck on his thumb but, no cigar. And so I’m expecting this time to be h-e-l-l on earth or a total miracle.
Either way, it’s going to kill me- to leave him in his bed, alone, crying while he figures out how to soothe himself. And so, I’m turning to you, my mama-licious friends, for your advice. What did you do when it came time to wean? How about getting your little one to sleep by himself? Any stress suggestions for Malachi and me? I neeeed advice! Hints, tips, tricks- anything to make this easier on me!
Also, this is just a thought floating around in my head (I haven’t acted on it… yet): would it be absolutely irresponsible of me to give Malachi some melatonin drops to help him fall asleep or stay asleep at night? He is such a light sleeper and I have a feeling that not having me right beside him will result in a sleepless night- for both of us.
I will be so appreciative of any advice offered, by anyone!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day!
Legacy of Love
I've copied you, Mother
Thursday, May 7, 2009
** Don't Settle! **
New Guest Blog!
It’s hard to start a “blog entry” like this- so forlorn and full of warnings. But, I need to get my story out there to encourage girls/women who may be settling for less than they deserve.
I grew up in a Christian home with strong morals and solid ethics. I was taught from the earliest age of understanding all that the Bible expects from Jesus’ followers. Holiness. Excellence. Integrity. Humility.
Purity.
I did a pretty good job at the above list of Christian qualities. I listened to my elders when they counseled against bad company and shied away from temptation whenever I could. My “teaching” went beyond that of church only on Sundays; I was completely engulfed and surrounded by Biblical truth since the day I was born.
But, after all, I am only human. I settled. After flirting with him for months on end, I began to date and fall in love with him. It was effortless. His eyes were intoxicating; his words wrapped around my heart and didn’t let go; his touch sent shivers up my spine and I was hooked. In every sense of the word. So, I did what any girl would do. I gave myself to him. Prematurely. It seemed like he deserved it and I was happy to finally be able to be on such an intimate level with someone I knew I loved. It was what I had been waiting for my whole life.
Sin has a way of doing that. It’s the piece of fruit on the vine that glimmers in the sunlight. Everything about it beckons for a touch, a taste, a bite. But, when it’s juice fills your mouth- you realize that it wasn’t really ripe to begin with; it was rotten, the whole time. A sweet turned sour- “an old friend who rats you out”. Everything sort of went downhill from there and I realized that it was just bad luck that followed me around; it was a consequence that had wrapped it’s tentacles around me and wouldn’t let go. You don’t break the rules without causing some sort of ripple effect. I did what I knew what I thought would solve everything- the idea from tearing myself apart from another human that I had adhered myself to was unthinkable- I married him.
But, the ripples from my decision didn’t just fade out and away. I’m still dealing with the aftermath of my “settling”.
Women always joke their romantic boyfriend changed to a boring husband the moment the ring was placed on the finger. It’s true. So, beyond true that it’s sometimes devastating. Seriously. I don’t mean to whine here, but my personality type is that I NEED to be romanced, cherished and reminded that I am loved. Otherwise, I begin to seriously doubt myself. I begin to think that, maybe, it’s all my fault. I’m not cooking dinner the way I should. I don’t keep the house clean enough. The dog doesn’t get walked enough. I whine about having a baby too often. It must be something. How was I so loveable to begin with and- now- I’m not?
This is what I mean by “settling”. Maybe, if I hadn’t given myself to him so early- maybe, if I made him work a little more to ask for my hand in marriage- maybe, if I played by the rules… I would have seen it coming? Or I would have, at least, gotten my fill of the fuzzies before I lost them to his vows.
I just don’t know.
To my husband, for life: I will never leave you. But, please read this and know that its ME. I’m lonely. I need your encouragement, your sweetly whispered words, your subtle touch, your tender kisses. I need to know that I am more beautiful to you than any other woman who may walk down the street. Encourage me! Romance me! I’m not asking for jewels or flowers flowing out the door. I’m just asking for you to express your love for me- like it’s a natural thing. Like it’s something you want to do. I need to know what I am loved or I will shrivel up and be less of a wife than you agreed to marry.
And here I ask, I beg, PLEASE don’t settle! Don’t give in to momentary satisfaction when you maybe trading it for a lifetime of sad, lonely ripples. God knew what He was saying when He told us to save ourselves for marriage and to not make any hasty choices. Listen to your elders when they tell you their stories and learn from their mistakes. You will only be better off.
-M
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
♫ More Joys of Being Female!
I hate how when the stress goes up, so does my inability to eat healthy. In fact, quite the opposite. I will devour everything I can reach, until I get uncomfortable, just so my mind can worry about that too. Ugh. I hate being a girl. Thus, today’s blog.
Being a woman is hard work. I think ive written a blog similar to this before. Just, with summer well on its way, more has come up for me to gripe about. Out loud. To everybody I know. Which, is another awesome quality of female.
First. We wear uncomfortable underwear. And it’s not because it looks better, trust me. Ok, so that little itty bitty piece of string doesn’t show under certain skirts and slacks. But a lot of us, wear them, every single effing day. Whatever male decided that it was an attractive thing, needs to have their big toe pounded with a sledge hammer, and then a piece of string wrapped around his ass, and tell me, if it’s still attractive. No, underwear doesn’t make our toes hurt, that’s just a little bit of punishment for the torture. ♥
Second. Men are dirty. Not all men, so apologies all around if you’ve never looked at a woman in a vulgar manner. And, it will never cease to amaze me, that it doesn’t change with age. I seem to notice it more in the summer, probably because we choose to wear less, and the windows are down more often. Appalled at the older gents that dare look down from their beautiful pickups in to my blouse. Why hello! Yes, just because every part on my body doesn’t have eyes, doesn’t mean we cant see you looking. Just so you know. Now, I must admit, we do the same thing, but we try to be a little less obvious, that’s all. Plus, from one vehicle to another, we’re a bit limited on...eye candy. I mean, we love your faces, as much as you love ours.
Third. Waxing. I love that there are professional waxers. I think that’s the most interesting job description ever. Not only, do you get to yank the hair out of another woman without her slapping you (you’ve got pray that your worst enemy comes in I bet, huh??), but you get to do it all day long. Im not sure how you get good at these things either. Wouldn’t it be interesting to go to school for it just to say you’re good at pouring hot wax on skin and yanking? Im not saying it’s an easy job, and thank GOD there are good ones out there, just an entertaining profession, that’s all. I don’t need to go in to it. My beautiful Reese already did, here: Bikini Waxing And yeah, like a lot of women, Im hooked. It’s a pain in the ass, literally, but come on! No shaving for 7- 8 weeks!?! This lover of pain is all about it.
Fourth. We over-analyze. Everything. When a guy says "you look good today" we wonder why he didn’t say "you look great today. When someone says "I will give you a call sometime" and they don’t, we beat it with a analytical stick until it’s deader than dead, and wonder what’s wrong with us. Loaded question?? Gents, life is loaded for us. When we ask you if we look fat in something, it isn’t any different than us expecting you to say we don’t, before we even try on the outfit. Lucky for you, when we’re happy, we’ll take you to heaven and back. ;)
Fifth. A benefit. Being a damsel in distress, pretty much rocks. Yeah, like...if we are stranded on the side of the road, regardless of looks, shape, or stature, we get assistance. We get free drinks in the bar (because poor us, we’re sitting all alone and cant find anybody to take care of us). We get better service (I’ve seen it first hand, Im sorry gents, that’s the definition of short end of the stick right there). Im not one to play the damsel in distress card often, im the independent "I do it myself!" type, even when im completely clueless, but I have seen this act done, and done well. And I’ve gotta say, life really can be easier for the ladies sometimes. On a side note, we like to feel like the damsel in distress, even when we're not. We like to feel protected, rescued, and taken care of, even when life doesnt beg for you to do it. Feel free to swoop in and save us from a bad day, any time you want.
Seems like life is pretty well balanced to me, honestly. Summer weather is just brining out a bit of spite for being female, that’s all. Thanks for listening to me gripe. Again.
Yours Truly,
Nomz
Forgive AND Forget??
A grudge is a hard thing to forgive. Forgetting is a whole ‘nother story.
We’re surrounded by so many love-lacking people these days that it’s no wonder we’ve forgotten how to love, ourselves! Okay, maybe not love but… forget. We all know the rules about forgiveness: forgive as Jesus forgives (Colossians 3:13); forgive or you won’t be forgiven (John 20:23); forgive up to 490 times a day (Luke 17:4). But, who is able to forgive and forget?
It’s so easy to fall into that temptation of being the injured party and milking your wounds for all their worth. I’ve done it. I know people who’ve done it. I’ve been on the receiving end of that milking (translation: I caused the pain and needed the forgiveness). But, the higher road, is the one that is usually not taken. In fact, the world will tell you to avoid it at all costs. They will pet your peeve, milk your wound (notice that it doesn’t heal then?) and tell you that you must forgive but you are allowed to “never forget”.
Why let a dog bite your hand more than once? Why subject yourself to more pain?
But, I tell you, there is a better way.
Imagine this: Jesus is being beaten to death. In His agony and pain, when he could be blaming us for this undeserved punishment, He remains silent. After the soldiers, while mocking Him, hammer nails into His hands, He prays. For you. "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."
Now, imagine this: Jesus is hanging on the cross, between two thieves. The people below Him are torn, some are weeping for him while the others are insulting, accusing and cheering. With His last ounce of strength, He lifts his head to look at those who have just crucified Him. “Father,” He pants “I forgive them. But, I will never forget what they have done to me.” Of course, the intentions behind a perfect memory are to bring it back up again- as a Ace card, cleverly hidden under the folds of His sleeve. Why else would He need to remember? Then, He dies.
It just doesn’t work, does it? Our Savior, perfect and full of grace, leaving just one little bit of bitterness in His heart so that He can remember exactly how vile, repulsive and diabolical we are. I don’t think so.
So, let’s back up to that first “rule”. Forgive as Jesus forgives. When He forgives, He removes our sins from us as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). In my imagination, they just keep going and going and going… you get the idea. Like the defeated villain at the end of a movie: never to be heard from again. There is no grudge list in Jesus’ back pocket, no Ace tucked away for just the right moment. There is no condemnation in Christ, Jesus.
If we are to forgive as He forgives, then I think we are to forget, as well. I know this is easier said than done; I know that there is a pain which goes so deep, it takes time for forget and I know that there are some that are undeserving of a clean slate. Give it a chance, though and see the healing power that total, 100% forgiveness can effect.
My advice on forgetting: I’ve had a little practice.
Pray: Again. Easier said than done. When you feel yourself getting to that point of boiling over or are feeling the bitterness arise from an offense, just mutter a little prayer. It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out two-hour lamentation (although, sometimes those are needed and requested of the Holy Spirit). Just a little, “Lord, please bless ____ today and help them discover the light of your love.” Or, “Lord, give me the strength to forgive and forget as You have done for me.” It works. I promise.
Think: of something else. It’s too easy to let the mind wander and imagine all sorts of tragedies that can befall an enemy. But, if you take control of your mind and the pity party it’s trying to throw, you won’t be so easily taken down.
Remember: Forgiving someone and forgetting their shortcomings will be a greater aid to them than reminding them of what they did wrong. Forgiveness and Forgetfulness bridges the gap between a man who refuses to change and the change needed to mend wounds. It will also help restore your own emotional and mental health.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. -Mahatma Gandhi
The moment that one sincerely and freely forgives another, something wonderful and good happens to both the forgiver and the forgiven. The capacity for both to love one another is increased and strengthened. -Arly Prior
Only the brave know how to forgive; it is the most refined and generous pitch of virtue human nature can arrive at. -Laurence Sterne
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
♫ Learning to Dance in the Rain...or Kiss.
When It Rains It Pours
Im officially backasswards lately. Like, the more you try to run uphill, the more you slide down. The more I try to encourage, the more I discourage. The harder I try to stay positive, the more things seem to crash. In an effort to be grateful, I wasn’t grateful enough. The more I try to blog about happy, the more I sound like a whiner. Ironically, like right now. Too bad you cant hear me. Im not whining. Searching for a gadget to implement my voice on to my blog to prove it.
Again, with the help of a few of my favorite people, my blog inspiration.
#1. Don’t think too much on something. Everything will work itself out, whether we think hard on it, or don’t.
#2. When it rains it pours. But you’ve got to learn to dance in the rain, rather than wait for the storm to pass. Not only will you miss out on life, but you’ll miss out on the dance, and the chance to be refreshed.
Spring time is finally here!
Spring showers are by far the best part. Of course, there are things like:
Baby animals! Call me a sissy lala, but there is something about those big ol’ sappy eyes of a baby cow or the clumsy run of a baby horse that leaves me hypnotized, and grateful for making it through an entire winter:
Baby Babies!
Maybe it’s just a theory, maybe it’s true. It seems more people have babies in the spring and summer, and I am just convinced that it’s because old man winter forces you to cuddle all winter long. Congrats to all my lucky ladies. I cant wait to hold your preciousness.
Flowers!
Im not a planter. Or a grower. Nor do I have a clue what season you plant what to make it happen. But I LOVE the smell of flowers, and the look...they’re one of my favorite thing to photograph. And theyre always most amazing in May. At least in my inexperienced, unprofessional, opinion.
The Rain
I know I’ve already mentioned the rain. There are two types:
#1. Real Rain. The kind that soaks clear to your bone, can come in both vertical and horizontal flavors, and the kind that no matter how it falls, smells amazing. There is something about being kissed in the rain that will leave you breathless, and never let you forget it. There is something about jumping in the puddles that will not allow you forget that there is still a kid in you somewhere. And there is just something about the air around you when the storm passes, that will have you in awe. Rain, is only allowed to be hidden from under an umbrella with somebody you love. unless it’s the skin pounding horizontal kind, in which case, you’re required to enjoy from behind something fairly solid, like a window.
#2. Metaphorical Rain. This kind isn’t nearly as fun, but isn’t any less inspirational. Whether you weather (which sounds grammatically horrible) a real storm, like above, or the kind that life brings...you come out of it a better person. "Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain." Let the people you love hold an umbrella over you, and take the steps you need to weather the storm and figure it out.
Yours Truly,
Nomz
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